


the only hero left

by axzanier



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-07-24 09:25:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 149,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7502997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/axzanier/pseuds/axzanier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Civil War, Steve gets a visit from an old friend who grants him a different perspective on his choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the other story that Civil War and Eurovision created. Yes, there is an OFC who has actually been rattling around in my head since Iron Man first came out, but she worked so well for this I decided to revive her. Be warned the story took some turns I didn't expect, but that will allow for more character torture across the board.
> 
> Originally, I only planned to post this to effing.net, but I found myself needing a distraction whilst working on the sequel to 'heroes of our time.' That story had also taken turns I didn't expect. Stupid characters thinking they have free will or something.

Title: _the only hero left_

Author: A. X. Zanier

Status: WIP

Rating: R (Language, violence, sexual situations, the usual)

Fandom: _Marvel Cinematic Universe_

Disclaimer: a) The characters and basic story ideas of _Captain America/Avengers/et al_ are the property of others including, but not limited to Stan Lee, Marvel Studios, Disney Studios. Any additional characters or story ideas are mine. I make no money from this intellectual exercise. b) This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any opinions or views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the author and are used for storytelling purposes only.

Series: Apparently. Follows my short _No Rest for the Weary_

Spoilers: Oh hell yes. Any part of the MCU is fair game.

A/N: I blame this damn story on watching Eurovision this year. The opening song hit me like a freight train and I got not one, but two bunnies screaming at me. One canon, one AU (this is the AU one), but neither will let me go. As I appear to be channeling one very unhappy Steve Rogers, you'll get to enjoy me fumbling about in first person.

A/N part deux: The OFC herein has actually been hiding in my brain since I saw Iron Man. I wrote some snippets, but most of the stories stayed in my head. Eventually, they faded as my muses moved onto other things (or stuck with the same old thing if you know my writing at all) until I saw Civil War and, as mentioned above, Eurovision. She is intended to do more than provide a perspective for the reader. And, in truth, I've been using this story to bounce ideas for the strictly canon one ( _heroes of our time_ ) so if there are similarities, that would be why.

 

 

_**the only hero left** _

__

 

A woman lay sleeping on my bed.

At first I thought it must be Sharon, but it hadn't taken more than a moment to realize the hair was too blonde, too straight, and the build to light to be the ex-SHIELD and now CIA agent. I felt a surge of hope and worry followed by dismay. Hell, if Sharon had come I wouldn't be certain if it would be to arrest me… arrest _us_ or come along for the ride. I mean, I can't say I'd mind her joining us, but if she wanted to keep her job she'd be better off staying behind and playing the part of duped (ex)girlfriend.

So, knowing Sharon could not be here, I cautiously shifted to see the woman's face, which lay away from my view.

Admittedly, it didn't look as if she had planned to fall asleep, but had simply kicked off her shoes and sat for a moment only to be swept up in Morpheus's sudden embrace. She had curled up sideways on the end of the bed, bare toes hanging off the edge, hands tucked up underneath her chin, tanned arms still lighter than the deep blue of the comforter she'd fallen asleep upon.

I blinked, the face partially obscured by the long pale blonde hair until recognition hit me and my jaw tightened.

I hadn't spoken to Laurin in a few months, though we did communicate fairly regularly via email. Tony and she worked together now and then and had been friends for several years before I'd been found and recruited by SHIELD. She had worked as a consultant for SHIELD as well, so I knew her well enough to call her friend, but…

But I had no idea where she'd decided to stand on the matter of the Accords.

Muscles still tight I walked back out into the main room of the apartment and made a call to find out just why the hell they had let her into my temporary home.

The response? She had asked to see me.

I would presume that security had vetted her before allowing her anywhere near these suites, but still, it seemed more than a touch odd.

Not that I disliked her, I wouldn't call her friend otherwise, but the timing deeply concerned me.

Grumbling under my breath at the inconvenience, I got cleaned up and, after a wistful glance at the mostly empty bed; she did not take up much room on the oversized king I'd been given, grabbed a spare pillow and blanket and went back to the sofa, thankfully also oversized, but not nearly as comfortable as the bed, to curl up and grab a few hours of sleep.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

I drifted back to an unwelcome state of consciousness to the smell of coffee and the sound of movement. I went instantly on alert, but didn't actually move, instead focusing my hearing to try and figure out if I were actually in danger. A swear in a female voice gave me the clue I needed and I relaxed slightly, feeling irritated that I'd been woken up, especially since she had swiped my bed for her, I glanced at the watch on my wrist, nap. Damn it, I'd barely been asleep two hours.

With a groan I shifted and sat up.

I heard her foot falls and glanced up to see her standing there with a mug of coffee in her hands.

"That for me?" I asked, not certain where to start.

She nodded.

I held out my hand, but she shook her head and set it on a table well out of my reach. Then she closed the distance between us and punched me solidly on the shoulder with enough force to rock me. It didn't really hurt, probably hurt her more than me, but I still reacted.

"Ow. What was that for?" I rubbed the spot feigning a far worse injury for her benefit.

"For not calling me when everything went to hell," she growled, clearly angry with me.

I shook my head. "Tony said you didn't want to be involved."

"With the Accords?"

I nodded.

"Of course not. That would mean admitting I'm something other than a vanilla human." She stood there, fisted hands on her hips and a frown on her face.

And vanilla human she most certainly had not been for nearly a decade, but she was right, admitting that would bring her and her tech under serious scrutiny and I would not want that for her any more than she did.

"Smart move," I told her running a hand through my hair and fighting a yawn. I was so tired. At T'Challa's request, as in he came and asked me himself, I'd begun working with some of his people, fighting techniques, tactics, security, etc. Not that they needed it per se, but I had been glad of the distraction. I didn't exactly have a whole lot to do but train on a typical day and even that had been lost for the first few weeks after coming to Wakanda.

Next thing I knew her arms had wrapped about me and pulled me tight against her. I stiffened, tried to pull away, but she didn't let go, her hold more than tight enough to remind me that she was indeed far stronger than she looked.

Christ how long had it been since someone had just held me with no ulterior motive involved?

Far too long if I could not remember.

Without conscious thought my arms went about her waist and wrapped snugly about her tiny waist. She folded about me, holding me together while I silently let all the anger, sorrow and frustration of the last few weeks go for a short amount of time.

I had no idea how long we stayed that way, but she knew the instant I was ready to move on and straightened, her hands moving from about my neck to cup both cheeks. She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. "Idiot," she told me with a smile.

My hands on her hips tightened for an instant, but she had a point. "Things moved pretty fast, I didn't exactly have time to call."

"Bullshit," she said as she stepped away and retrieved the coffee, handing it to me. "You managed to drag Pym's protege in, and you couldn't call me?"

I sipped the coffee, tracking her as she went back to the kitchen to fill her own mug with the bold brew. "Technically, Sam and Clint hornswaggled him into this. I… it was my problem, my friend I was trying to protect, and they knew the score. You, as you just pointed out, don't want to be know as anything other than normal."

She pouted at me. "So I might not be into the whole destroying an airport thing, but I do have some tech skills that might have been of use to you. False identities and the like. Greasing a few virtual wheels."

I sighed, not about to admit that she might be right. Granted, we hadn't exactly used legal means or channels for most of our flight plans, but I knew her skill set. She'd worked on JARVIS before he'd become Vision, Tony's pet AI, and he'd allowed her to, which showed a definite respect by the man for her skills.

"How is everyone?" she asked.

"Good. Adjusting." Not much else to say to that. Rinn hadn't met Sam or Wanda, though she knew about them. "Bucky went back into cryo."

"Damn. Steve-"

I cut her off. "So what brings you to Wakanda?"

She eyed me for a moment, but had always been a smart girl and let the matter of Bucky drop for now.

"Job interview."

"Job interview? You need another job?" I didn't see how that could be possible. She ran a video game company, Cyko, a simulator design company under the same colorful moniker, which mostly worked with the US government, and did research into nano-systems, especially nanites. Micro-robots that repaired and maintained major systems all over the planet, and a few off.

She was smart. Scary-smart. Like Tony Stark scary-smart and over a decade younger. Little wonder she and Tony were friends. She'd probably get along well with Banner. If I ever found him I'd have to make certain to introduce the pair, it would be interesting.

"The gaming side is self sustaining with projects planned out for the next decade. Looking for a new partner with the sim side of things."

I blinked. "Thought the US had an exclusive contract."

Her lips pursed as if she had tasted something bad. " _Had_ being the operative word. The instant they branded you a fugitive I enacted my out clause. They can scream and stomp their feet all they like, but they will not see another product from me _ever._ So I put out feelers and His Majesty's people contacted me and suggested a meeting."

I shook my head in dismay. "They'll come after you."

She shrugged. "Let 'em. They cannot force me to use my skills for them."

"But they can threaten your friends, your business, your family. Freeze your bank accounts…" I trailed off as she began to smile.

"Steve, sometimes I forget how new you are to this world. I have more than enough money, liquid and otherwise, in very safe places that the US government can't touch no matter how badly they may want to." She came back over, bare feet near silent on the floor and sat down beside me. "You realize that since it was proven Zemo did cause the bombing in Vienna that they can't go after you or your friends for violating the Accords. Though you did kind of destroy an airport and orchestrated a jailbreak, so they might want to talk to you about that."

I couldn't help it, I chuckled at the droll tone she used to sum up my recent exploits. "Ross is probably pissed. All that security and it couldn't even keep one man out."

"Well, to be fair, it is designed more to keep people in." She sipped at her coffee, an innocent look in those green eyes of hers.

I had to admit she had a point, they most certainly hadn't been prepared even if they had known I would be coming. And if they hadn't known I'd be coming, well, then they were idiots.

"So, why are you really here?"

She sighed softly and set the mug down on the coffee table before us. "Because you know that I can keep your secrets and won't think any less of you when you decide to finally talk about what happened between you and Tony."

"And what makes you think I'll talk to you?" I grumbled, not wanting to talk about any of it and knowing I needed to. And worse, knowing she might be one of the few people on the planet that would listen and not judge. She had never looked at me and seen anything other than Steven Grant Rogers, hadn't cared I had become who I was thanks to genetic tinkering, that no one, including myself, had any clue what I was truly capable of. Like that hug. I'd not said a word, given even a hint that I wanted, much less needed one, but she had known and given me what I had denied myself, would have continued denying myself, because I had to set an example. I led the others, no way I could show any weakness, no matter how deserving of it I may be.

With her I could let my guard down in ways I couldn't even with Sharon, which could only be a sorry statement on my life.

She tipped slightly to lean against me, a warm comforting presence at my side. "Steve, if all you need from me is silence, I'll give it. If you want to talk, I'll listen and not judge. If you want comfort, I'll give you all that you need." She tipped her head against my shoulder, her long blonde hair draping down across my chest.

I turned my head into her hair, breathing in her scent for long minutes before sighing. "Sometimes I think this is your real superpower."

"What is?" she asked, turning her head to look up at me.

"Being what we need. You didn't get that from those nanites." I'd seen her do this with others, including Clint and Nat. She didn't butt in, didn't demand, didn't even ask most of the time, but she always seemed to provide a comforting presence on those occasions she visited.

She got to her feet and patted me on the shoulder. "I'm just me," she stated as she headed for the bedroom. "Nothing special."

Not true as far as I was concerned, but that was okay, so long as she didn't change. I leaned back, drinking the coffee, wondering why she had vanished in the middle of a conversation.

When she came back out, she was fully dressed, though not business meeting dressed, more like hacker casual, that involved black clothing from head to toe, her pale blonde hair a vibrant contrast against the longsleeved shirt she wore.

I raised an eyebrow. "Not exactly job interview clothes."

She laughed softly. "Interview is tomorrow. I need to set up the server system for the sim-suit demo."

"Wouldn't that require a sim-suit?"

She lifted up the hem of the overlong shirt to reveal the distinctive metallic sheen of a sim-suit underneath. "These," she flapped her arms, "come off easily." She tipped her head slightly. "I have done this before, you know?"

"I know," I agreed, standing and moving over to her. "Need help?"

"Nightmares?" she asked, eyes narrowing as she looked me over.

Urf. I didn't want to know how she'd figured it out so quickly, but I can't say I was surprised. I looked anywhere but at her until she forced me to by shifting to stand right in front of me, well within that personal space demarcation. I kept forgetting how tall she was, a fair five eight in her bare feet, which meant it didn't take much effort to meet her eyes. "Yes, every night."

She nodded. "Then get changed. I'm sure I can find something for you to do."

I did as she asked.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, thought you and Sharon were a thing?"

I stopped dead while Sam kept running. It took him a dozen steps to realize I no longer strode beside him. He slowed and turned about to walk back towards me.

"We are… were. Guess I won't know till I come out of hiding." I hadn't spoken to her since that kiss under the freeway when she returned mine and Sam's gear. I'd thought about contacting her, on any number of occasions, but always stopped, not wanting to force her into a compromising position. She'd been cleared for the most part, but there could be no doubt she would be watched for quite some time yet.

For her sake I needed to stay away.

"So the other blonde is just a Wakandan fling?" Sam looked confused, with a hint of amused. Maybe impressed, given I'm not exactly known for my dating skills even with Nat spending an inordinate amount of time trying to set me up.

"What? No. I'm not… We're not… I mean…" I knew the rules had changed and, for the most part, women weren't looked down upon for choosing to have sex out of wedlock, but I apparently still could not easily have a frank discussion about the, to me still taboo, topic.

"Wait. You're telling me you're sharing a bed, but not sleeping together?" I didn't even get a chance to respond before he burst out in uproarious laughter.

I glowered at him. "Sleeping is exactly what we do," I said, feeling frustrated, but not in the way he seemed to think I should be. "She's a friend." And the only reason I didn't wake up several times a night with my heart pounding and Tony's terrified eyes stuck in my mind.

"She's hot," Sam stated, making me feel both angry and amused at the same time.

"Then you sleep with her," I muttered, not feeling the need to explain the complicated relationship I had with Laurin. Though, complicated might not be accurate. Our relationship felt very simple and easy even when she asked me the hard questions, expecting honest answers.

"You haven't introduced me," Sam said by way of explanation.

Okay, fair enough, but she had been busy. T'Challa had hired her after the initial demo and, with the input of his various warrior sects, had been creating training sims for any number of fighter jets the Wakandan's had designed. Of course, first she had to learn how to fly them, but from everything I had heard she had been doing exceedingly well.

She was, even I had to admit, pretty damn amazing.

"I didn't think it would matter to you," I told him honestly. She knew Nat and Clint, had met various high-ranking SHIELD agents including Fury and Maria Hill, who I think Rinn still talked to, since Maria had been hired by Stark Industries. And she knew Tony, of course. They'd met first when she'd been creating sims for his newest fighter jets. A project scrapped soon after, but she'd proved something to Tony and he'd kept her around, just off the front lines, except for an occasion or two when her expertise had been the best solution to the problem.

Tony was damn smart, but Rinn knew nano-tech like no one else on the planet.

"You really don't like to share your toys, do you?"

I dropped my head, hands on hips and tried not to sigh in frustration. He still fumed over Bucky though he'd not said anything to me directly since we'd found sanctuary here. I mean, we'd talked, sparred, gone on runs, but nothing of substance. We still hadn't figured out what we wanted to do now that we were no longer Avengers and His Majesty hadn't come calling to ask, so I just hadn't worried about it… much.

I kept busy, but had not yet looked towards the future since it seemed far too daunting a prospect at the moment.

The time had come I supposed.

"How about dinner? The four of us and I'll introduce you." I hoped that would appease him for a time.

"Tonight," he insisted and I nodded.

"Tonight."

"But you ain't cooking."

"No, I'll arrange something." Couldn't blame him as my cooking skills were decidedly lacking and I wasn't about to impose on Laurin, even though I knew she'd probably be more than willing to assist.

Sam cocked his head, watching me with care, then took off at a dead run. These often turned into races even though Sam knew there could be little chance of him winning. I waited a slow count of ten and then chased him down.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

Laurin got the drinks, handing one to Wanda, who took the glass of wine with a smile. For Sam she poured bourbon though I had no idea where she had gotten it from. He sniffed it in suspicion while she just shook her head, not taking offense to his obvious distrust.

"You want one, Steve?" she asked as she made a double for herself.

Now, she knew I couldn't get drunk, but in the spirit of the evening I figured why not. "Sure."

She smiled and tipped a generous amount in a glass and carried it to me. Dinner waited on the counter, procured after a few phone calls made by Laurin, who had volunteered to handle it when I'd texted to let her know. She had wondered why I hadn't done it sooner.

Seemed all my friends were smarter than me lately. I took the glass and downed a long swallow as she strolled back over to the kitchen to finish setting up. She sipped on her drink as she transferred the food from the take out boxes to serving dishes. "Wanda, I understand you have some serious telekinetic skills. Are they natural or enhanced?"

Sam damn near choked on his drink while Wanda's eyes widened in surprise.

Rinn turned to Steve. "They do realize I worked on JARVIS before his upgrade, right?"

"And that explains you knowing details about us how?" Sam damn near growled at her.

"Because I have a clearance level higher than God and Tony trusts me." She shrugged. "Used to anyway. Kinda threw that away when I told them to go to hell."

"What is it you do?" Wanda asked, curiosity mixed with wariness in her posture. And, no, she did not answer the question.

"Game and sim developer - I'd love to create a sim scenario of your EXO suit,"she nodded to Sam, "and I do a lot of nanite design. Another thing your suit could use. They could handle on the fly repair and camouflage." She finished moving the food to serving dishes and began carrying them to the table we'd set up on the deck.

"Wait? You're _that_ Laurin? Cyrelle? Cyko Industries?" Sam sounded stunned.

"Yes," I answered for her as she walked back to the kitchen and grabbed more food.

She shoved a bowl and a plate at me as she came back around. "Make yourself useful, Mr. I-Can-Stop-A-Helicopter-With-My-Biceps."

Wanda laughed and moved to grab some of the food herself and within minutes we all sat around the table.

Sam still hadn't recovered from realizing who she really was.

We ate in silence for several minutes, Laurin playing perfect hostess, before Sam finally found his tongue.

"Well, I guess that explains a few things, but not why you are here."

She shrugged. "Hadn't seen Steve in a while and thought now might be a good time."

"How did you know where we were?" Wanda questioned.

Rinn blinked. "Where else would you have gone?" She set her fork down and daubed at her lips to remove the nonexistent food left behind. "Clint is reasonably safe given his family is off the grid. Mr Lang is quite well versed in keeping a low profile when he wishes to; Dr. Pym will most likely assist with that. You three are the only ones without a real home to return to now that the Avenger's compound and the New York Tower aren't options." She sipped at her glass of water while the pair watched her in seeming fascination. "T'Challa had been just as duped as the rest of the world, and he has a great sense of honor, him offering you a place to rest and heal makes sense."

Sam turned to me. "Exactly how smart is she?"

I pondered how to best answer that question. "Let's put it this way, Tony thinks she's smart."

Sam whistled.

High praise indeed from one of the smartest minds on the planet, and none of the rest of us could be called ordinary much less dumb. No one in the superhero biz would be what you called stupid, even the Hulk had access to the genius of the man he turned back into, he just used far more brute force than calculation when big and green.

She hand waved the compliment. "Brains are a dime a dozen, doing something with them… that's the real trick now isn't it?"

"What will you do here?" Wanda pretended to be disinterested, but was just as curious and suspicious as Sam.

"Work. I've an entire sim-system to get up and running. A few weeks here, then back to LA for the new game release. Maybe stop in and see how Tony's doing."

"Stark," Sam growled, eyes narrowing at her.

I stepped in. "Sam, Tony came around in the end. Not about the Accords maybe, but about Bucky being set up."

"So that's why Tony tried to kill him, 'cause he was innocent," Sam all but snarled.

"I never said Bucky was _innocent_. He… The Winter Soldier has done some truly horrible things." I sat back in my chair, meeting the eyes of my team mates one at time, neither of them giving me an inch. "I can't blame Bucky," I finally said.

"Nor should you," Rinn commented softly as she got to her feet and walked into the apartment. She came back a few minutes later with the bourbon and proceeded to pour each of us a generous glass. "Drink," she suggested before returning to her seat.

"Tony is no more the bad guy than any of you. Shit happened, some seriously bad shit, and you all reacted as you deemed appropriate." She downed her drink and poured another while I swirled mine about in the highball glass. "Tony's had a hard time since New York. He blames himself for Ultron. His intentions were good, the execution," she shook her head, "left a lot to be desired."

"He did not seem so upset when detaining me at the compound," Wanda pointed out in a surly tone before sipping at the liquor.

"He said he was doing it to protect you," I put in, voice soft. "Said he was doing all of it to protect us." I shook my head and looked over to Sam who sat there frowning into his glass.

"PTSD?" he asked, glancing at me without actually lifting his head.

"That would be my guess, and going untreated with anything but his obsession to protect the world." Rinn cocked her head. "A daunting task to say the least, little wonder he fails at every turn."

"The world has no interest in being saved," Wanda stated and I had to agree with her.

"You'll talk to him?" I asked, worried about my friend and hating that it had come to choosing one over the other.

"I'll try, but you know how he is. Covers the pain with brashness and hides in his tinkering." She toyed with her food for a moment. "He's invested too much into the Avengers to back away now, even with the team scattered to the winds."

True enough. I had watched the fallout of that obsessiveness from afar when the he'd taken on a group of madmen _controlled_ by the Mandarin who had managed to kidnap the president with only the help of Rhodey. It had led to him finally taking the risk to go under the knife and having the shrapnel that had been trying to kill him removed. Then Wanda had messed with his mind and his need to protect us, protect the world had come screaming back to life and led to Ultron and the Sokovia Accords and to now, with the Avengers under UN control and most of the members choosing to _officially_ retire as opposed to answer to them.

"Did I make the right choice?" I asked mostly rhetorically to the room, earning concerned looks from both Sam and Wanda.

Rinn stood and walked to the edge of the balcony, leaning on the railing and looking out over the magnificent view laid out for us. "Steve, you have a profound sense of right and wrong, but you sometimes fail to distance yourself emotionally from the situation."

"You agree with the Accords?" Sam asked turning about in his seat to look at her.

"In principle, yes. In practice? No. No group of people can make a decision fast enough to prevent a serious disaster from happening. Too much red tape will always hamper response time, and with what the Avengers have been fighting that could kill millions." She shifted slightly, but did not turn about to face them.

"So, what would you suggest?" That from Wanda who seemed to understand that because Laurin could look at the situation from the outside that she might have insights those far closer to the problem could not see.

The forest unseen for all the trees.

"SHIELD had the right idea, one man calling the shots when it came to field decisions."

I wrinkled my nose, which she somehow saw even though she still hadn't looked back at any of us.

"But there's few any of you would trust right now. Talbot is an idiot, even if he is in charge of the ATCU, and so mired in the Inhuman problem that he'd be useless anyway. Ross is too thick headed to ever take the time to understand what any of you are truly capable of."

"And that leaves…" Sam prompted.

She turned her head just enough to meet my eyes. "You. You have resources at your disposal, use them and do what you can to keep the remnants of Hydra from retaking a foot hold. Hell, just help people. There a disaster or three happening daily. Just because it's not saving the world doesn't make it unimportant." She turned back to the view. "Just because you can't be Avengers doesn't mean you can't be heroes."

She was right.


	3. Chapter 3

I leaned back against the counter across from Bucky who still slept away the days, though they had turned into months now with no real options for guaranteeing him freedom from the Hydra programming. I mean, those extra files Zemo had acquired included information on the techniques used to make him and reinforce the commands, but unless we wanted to start from scratch, essentially reprogram him to _not_ be the Winter Soldier, they had been of little real use.

The tortures he had endured, had fought against sickened me, but I suppose it made sense if, after everything, one meeting on a bridge, in the middle of a battle no less, planted the seed to allow Bucky to remember who he really had been... Jerk had always been stubborn. Wish I had known sooner, like back during the war, that he had survived. Maybe he would not have been forced to endure the horror his life had become. One he had run away from, sealed in a time capsule awaiting the day it might be opened.

Sometimes I talked to him, told him what we'd be doing, though I doubted he could hear a word of it. The telling of it always more for me anyway. The techs had come to expect my presence and always assured me that all had been fine during those few days I had not stopped by.

Today I had been silent, just needed to decompress after a harrowing rescue mission we'd gone on at the behest of His Majesty. While still not interested in being arrested the need had been more than great enough to balance out the risk. And, truthfully, I doubt anyone else could have been successful, at least not in the short amount of time we'd accomplished it.

We'd made the news, but our names and faces had been eerily absent, partially thanks to the full body armour we'd been given that hid even our faces, though Wanda's distinctive energy could in no way be hidden, it had also not been seen, or if it had the news outlets had not been informed. In fact, there had been no pictures of us whatsoever, any and all of it scrubbed before it could make the rounds on the internet.

Wakanda protects its own, and its guests it seems.

"He's not likely to run away while in there," a tired voice said softly into the dimly lit room.

I turned to see Rinn walking in, looking comfy in yoga pants and a half-zipped sweatshirt, hands tucked into the pockets.

I smiled, I hadn't been expecting her. "When did you get in?"

She pulled out her hand and looked at the fancy smartwatch on her wrist. "Nowish," she answered around a yawn. "Even first class sucks when you have to spend twenty hours on planes."

I chuckled softly. "Back for work?"

She nodded as she walked over to the cryochamber Bucky slumbered in. "Why's he still in there?"

"Because we haven't figured out how to break the control programming yet," I explained, though I thought the answer would be obvious even to her when jet-lagged and half asleep.

"You act like it's complicated," she mumbled around another yawn as she reached out to tap the cool glass over Bucky's chest, who, of course, didn't react.

"Isn't it?" Everything I'd been told, given I'm not an expert on deep personality programming, suggested that, yes, it could be quite complicated to fix. Could quite possibly never be fixed and that Bucky might be forced to sleep for the rest of his existence.

She shuffled over to me and parked to my right, pressing gently up against me. She shrugged. "He just has some malware. Need to find the right anti-virus to purge it." She leaned into me, relying on me to keep her upright.

It couldn't have been just the travel that had her this worn.

"Or just route around it all together. Block one of the keywords and access can be denied permanently."

I twitched. Could it really be that simple? Hope flared in me for the first time since Bucky had insisted on going back into the deep sleep. "Why has no one here suggested that?" I mused aloud.

" 'Cause they've been treating it like a psychological problem."

"Well, yeah, that's what it is… isn't it?"

She waved a hand. "Nah, it's a software issue. Human brain is just a fancy processor, you treat it like one and problems like this become fairly simple to correct."

I turned to look at her, and she met my eyes with a sleepy gaze. "And you know so much about the human brain how, exactly?" I feared it might be nothing more than her ego talking even though I understood in the simplest of comparisons she was indeed correct. The human brain could be looked at as nothing more than a high-end computer, but it was also a bit more delicate than your average server, nevermind laptop.

"Jeez, Steve, I designed the neural connections for the sim-suits. I've studied neural mapping in detail and do have a couple PhDs if you recall." She didn't seem upset just not thrilled to be pointing out what to her should have been obvious. "Do you really think I'd make a suggestion that I didn't think was viable?"

No, she wouldn't, and even asleep on her feet she was smarter than me three or four times over. "Of course not." I kissed her on the top of her head. "You need some sleep and then you are going to explain in detail what you just told me to those who can make use of the information."

"Don't need help, just need him conscious and the info on the programming."

"Awake? Is that wise?" Buck sure as hell would hate it. He'd want no part of being woken if he hadn't been fixed.

"Oh, so sweet," she patted him on the cheek. "Did you really think we could wipe the programming while he's frozen?"

Oh. Yeah, guess that would be obvious to most. "No, I suppose not. He's gonna fight it though. Thinks he's too dangerous."

"That's because he is."

I took a step back, and she nearly fell over before I realized how much of her weight I'd been supporting. I set strong hands on her shoulders to keep her upright and she gave me a wry grin for the trouble.

"Oh, come on. He's a ticking time bomb and, thanks to Zemo, a whole lot of people who shouldn't, now have the keys to his psyche. Do you really think they wouldn't abuse him just as badly as Hydra did?" She shook her head. " He needs control over his own life, but he has to want it. If he wants to stay a… a Bucksicle for the rest of his days, that's his choice, but he needs to know there are options."

The woman drove me mad at times, but she had a good head on her shoulders, plus a heart bigger than most. And an exceedingly good point. The choice had to be Bucky's.

Guess the time had come to wake the ghost.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

As expected Bucky _hated_ the idea.

We'd woken him a couple weeks after Laurin had laid out her ideas and even though there'd been resistance at first, the so-called experts had agreed her idea might actually work. Yes, the programming would still be buried in him, but if we denied access to it then we gained time to purge it completely, and without having to wipe his memories and start over. He would be fully aware of the programming and what it would do to him, it simply would no longer work.

The on switch disabled.

He had been less than thrilled, mostly due to this total stranger supposedly being the best chance to save him and fought her at every turn.

Still, he had eventually agreed and that had led to today.

He sat in a comfortable chair, not restrained in any way, with a half dozen of Wakanda's elite warriors standing about the periphery of the room, unarmed, but ready to intervene when trouble began.

Not if, but _when_.

I had a bad feeling about this.

Sam and Wanda had joined in the fun as well, though she had not seen the Winter Soldier in action, just Bucky, and only had my description to go by. Sam hadn't lasted long that first time, but still had serious fighting skills even when not wearing his wings.

Laurin had a single table on which her equipment sat, the neural mapping webbing already in place on Bucky's head, the fine mesh netting looking far too delicate to perform the task that would be required of it. I'd asked why the neural mapping was needed for the sim-suits and she had explained that each suit matched the wearer, their reactions and responses, so that no two sim-suits were ever calibrated identically.

Well, that explained why they were so damned expensive to make and maintain. And she often ate the cost herself in order to make the sale. She still wanted that EXO sim for her files and that would mean designing a sim-suit for Sam, a small fortune invested for potentially little gain. Very few had the skill set necessary to fly one.

But… but creating a sim could make it easier to find those with said potential, and that appeared to be her actual goal there. Sam could not teach the skill, but an accurate sim combined with the matching suit just might.

"Are you ready?" Rinn asked, turning about to face Bucky, who instantly tensed at the words.

"No," he grumbled, glaring daggers at her. He wore comfortable sweats and a t-shirt, but looked so wired that I could practically feel it from where I stood beside him. "Is it really necessary, this neural mapping." He looked up at me.

"She's the expert in this, so I'm going with yes." I wished it had not been necessary as well, once switched on, no matter how benign a task we gave him, he would still not be Bucky, and to get him back required neural recalibration. We were hoping tranqs would work, but if not a strong blow to the head or shock should do it.

Knock the Winter Soldier right out of him.

"I don't trust her," he muttered, but loud enough for her to hear.

"You shouldn't," she stated. "You have no clue who I am beyond a friend of Steve's. I could be Hydra. I could be working for Everett Ross, or Thaddeus. I could be a game designer with delusions of grandeur." She shrugged. "I'm still the only one who has a plan to block the programming implanted in your mind. What do you want more? To be assured than I'm one of the good guys or to be free to figure it out on your own?"

Well, that certainly got everything out in the open didn't it? I could hear Bucky grinding his teeth in frustration. The muscles of his jaw popping in reaction.

"I don't have much of a choice do I?"

She relaxed her posture and gave him a slight smile. "Of course you do. I'll stop right now if you like." She waved a hand about at all those in the room. "No one here will make you do this. You are free to go if you wish."

He glanced around the room before looking up at me. "Is she serious?"

I nodded. "Very. You can leave Wakanda right now and no one will stop you." I didn't want him to, but would respect his wishes should that be his decision.

Bucky sighed heavily and ran the palm of his only hand across his face before nodding slowly, looking unsatisfied with the results. "Any chance I can get a new arm in the near future?"

We had one being built, but it wouldn't be ready for a few weeks yet. Supposedly this neural mapping thing would be helping with that as well.

"Thought it might be safer for us if the Winter Soldier was at least partially disarmed," Rinn said with a straight face as she picked up the control tablet.

Sam choked on a laugh, trying to turn it into a cough and failing miserably. Wanda shook her head, but turned away before the smile could be easily spotted. I kept my poker face, barely, and watched Bucky.

For an instant black anger colored his features, then he let it go and shook his head, the tiniest hint of a smile creasing his face.

Then Rinn began.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I do not speak more than a few words of Russian, I was forced to use internet translators to create the anglicized versions of the ones I needed for this section, so, yeah, they may not perfect. Just roll with it, please.

 

 

The first hour had been boring as hell mostly due to her doing nothing more than saying the control words in languages other than Russian. She had to, if he could be activated by them being spoken in French, then her plan would not work.

Buck had slouched down in the chair, a look of utter boredom on his face that probably matched everyone's except me and Rinn. She watched her screens with a care that worried me, so after a dozen attempts with no reaction she gave me a slight nod and said, "Zhelaniye," in perfect Russian.

The change over Bucky was visible to everyone. I could see he wanted to fight it, but she had requested with utmost politeness that he not, she needed to see exactly how the words affected his brain. He simply tensed and tossed his head as if to shake off cobwebs from too deep a nap.

He'd asked why she would be saying the code phrase and I had explained, "Her Russian is better than mine." Made me wish Nat were here with her Widow's Stingers. They'd take him down quick once the fun really began.

"Prozhavevshiy. Pech'..." she continued, Buck's breathing coming in harsh pants as he fought his natural need to resist what the words were doing to his mind… to his sense of self.

At the last word Buck went eerily still and calm.

"Dobroye utro, soldat," Rinn said, still in Russian.

He responded in the same language. "Gotovy soblyvdat'."

She cocked her head watching him with sharp eyes. "Rasslab'tes', soldata, u menya budet rabotat' dlya vas v dannyy moment."

He did so, the stump of his arm twitching.

I moved over to her as she shifted her focus to the computer on the table. "Christ, it's like he's a completely different person," she muttered when I stopped beside her.

"Did you get what you need?" I glanced over my shoulder at The Winter Soldier who watched Laurin with an intensity that frightened me. She was the center of his universe right now and she had not yet given him a command.

"Almost." She looked up at me, a grim smile on her face. "Even Tony's neural map is not this whacked." She straightened and cautiously walked over to stand just a few paces before Bucky. She switched to English. "Soldier, a demonstration of your skill if you would. Training only, no permanent damage is to be inflicted. Understood?"

"Understood," he agreed, the language change seemingly going unnoticed, and stood, eyes scanning the room to settle upon me. "You were my mission," he growled then charged me.

I went into a defensive posture without even thinking about it, prepared to defend myself and missing my shield yet again. One fair hit with that should put him down long enough to subdue him.

"Stop," Laurin barked and Bucky did, skidding to a halt on the tiled floor, hands dropping to his side and head whipping about to glare at her.

She watched him, but spoke to me. "We didn't do a mind wipe, there must be a bleed over of previous mission orders." With care she stepped towards him, making certain his focus remained on her. "He is not your mission, I am. Protection detail." Her tone firm, her eyes flicking from him to the readings on the tablet in her hands.

"Rinn," I warned trying to keep my voice soft, "he'll kill you."

She shook her head and smiled. "No, he won't."

One-armed, no weapons, no armour and still too damn dangerous to allow anywhere near the comparatively fragile Laurin. The nanites that kept her healthy could only work so fast, if Bucky truly went for her with death his intent… she would die. I moved quickly, placing myself between the two of them. Not the best plan, perhaps, as getting in his way had not ended well before. "Bucky, stop."

"Steve, move, god damn it." She tried to shift around me, but I put out an arm to prevent her.

Bucky tensed, shifting in preparation to attack, apparently not liking my touching her.

That's when all hell broke loose. Everyone surged forward in an effort to protect Rinn, but The Winter Soldier moved with a swiftness even I failed to be prepared for and bodies began to fly through the air, beginning with mine.

I rolled and got right back up in time to see Wanda using her telekinetic powers to wrap up Rinn and stuff her into a corner where three of the warriors converged to set up a defensive blockade about her.

Bucky flung Sam into the wall and stalked towards Rinn, who had tossed her tablet aside and began struggling with those protecting her.

"Stay there, Rinn," I ordered, ignoring the screech of frustration she let out.

I got a hand on Bucky's bad shoulder, he spun about fist flying at me that I barely managed to dodge, then dropped to the ground with a leg sweep that took me down hard, the back of my head smacking solidly with the floor. I ignored the stars I saw swinging around my head and got back up.

I dove for Bucky, catching him in the back of the knees and driving him to the floor face first. With only one arm he failed to slow his fall as efficiently as he could have and ended up hitting the side of his head on the floor with a solid thwack.

Not hard enough though, he growled and scissored his legs free from me, catching me in the side of the face with his bare foot. An instant later he was back on his feet and heading to Laurin.

"Damn it, Buck," I muttered as I pushed myself up in time to see Rinn decking one of the elite with a punch hard enough to put the man down and dazed enough to not get back up immediately. She tossed the next over her hip into the wall and eeled under the arms of the third, breaking free and heading right to Bucky.

Sam went for him, but she put her body in the way and bellowed "Enough," loud enough to make my ears ring.

Everyone froze, but no one let down their guard, especially, Bucky.

Rinn went into a scathing rant in a rapid fire Russian that I couldn't follow, but I saw a slow smile crawl across Bucky's face, indicating he understood every word.

"English," Wanda requested, hands covered in glowing energy.

Rinn wiped blood from her nose, she'd taken at least one hit when breaking free from her Wakandan protectors. "I told him to protect me and you thought grabbing me would be a good idea? Idiots." She turned about and set a hand on Bucky's chest then spoke again in Russian. "Zadaniye vypolneno. Spat'."

Bucky folded and she caught him, lowering him gently to the floor though he should have been well out of her weight class.

I joined her, hovering over the pair as she sat back on her heels and sighed heavily. "Well that didn't go quite to plan."

"No, shit," Sam complained rubbing the back of his head, looked liked he had earned himself a goose egg. He offered a hand to Rinn and helped her upright. "He okay?" He waved at the prone form of the Winter Soldier, whose shirt had ridden up to reveal smooth, pale skin.

"Yeah, should wake up as your Bucky. Keep him isolated just in case." She licked at her lip, blood still dripping from her nose. "I'll need a couple hours to go over the data, but I should have a decent baseline to work with."

"C'mon, let's get you patched up," I said to her, but she did little more than stare at me. "Sorry, I should have trusted you more."

"Yes, you should have." She turned about to the elite and said, "Make him comfortable, please. I'll be back in fifteen minutes." The she walked past me, shoulder bumping into me with enough force to make me give way and stalked from the room.

"Huh," Sam mumbled watching her go.

"What?" I asked somehow knowing I would regret it.

"You wanted Bucky to trust her when you don't," Wanda answered as she moved up next to Sam. She glanced down at the peacefully sleeping Winter Soldier then back to me. "Why don't you?"

I shook my head, hands going to my hips. "I do, I just…"

"Don't trust anyone with Bucky," Sam finished. "You think you are the only one who _won't_ hurt him."

Close enough, anyway. "I think Rinn's right, I'm an idiot."

"No argument from me," Wanda said with a shrug.

That broke the tension in the room.

Sam chuckled softly. "All right, let's get his majesty comfy and hope that if doesn't wake up himself Rinn isn't still pissed at you."

I sighed and knelt down to help move my friend.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

Siberia would never be a vacation destination and this deep into the winter even less so, but Buck had needed some closure and we needed some more detailed information, so coming back to the Hydra base where everything had fallen apart made some sense.

I doubted there could be much left. Someone, or several someones, had surely gone through this place and taken anything of even vague value. Of course, we had pretty much destroyed the place last time we'd visited so I doubt there had been much left of actual importance.

We followed the same route, ending up in the open area where all the cryochambers had been located to discover, as expected, that it had been cleared out. Nothing of substance left behind, including the mind wipe equipment.

Still, Bucky walked over to where it had stood for decades, the imprints of it visible on the scarred concrete. He looked so lost, as if this homecoming hadn't been quite what he'd hoped for.

"They took the damn thing," he growled as he lifted his head to look at me.

"We expected that," I pointed out, wondering why it seemed to bother him so much.

He sighed heavily. "I know, but… but they could use it and… and we don't know who ended up with it."

True enough. It could have been the Avengers, T'Challa, Hydra, just the plain old KGB. Ross could have taken it to the Raft to play with hs prisoners, ostensibly to rehabilitate them back into something resembling useful members of society, but far more likely to turn them into his own weapons of mass destruction. We had no way of knowing and I had to admit to feeling more than a bit of concern knowing someone had this tech available to them. Even damaged it could be reverse engineered and if they figured out what I had, that Tony had access to a version of the Super Serum…

Well, the results could in no way be good.

The tech could be abused far too easily.

But we had no way of stopping them.

"What do you want to do, Buck?"

He snarled in frustration. "I want to tear this place apart until there's not a single stone left."

I nodded, part of me wanting that as well for the damage perpetrated upon my friend. "We can do that. Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure."

He cracked a grin at that, we'd watched that movie and it's predecessor just last week at Sam's insistence when he'd learned I hadn't gotten around to it yet. Popcorn, hot wings, beers, and space horror. It had been fun and a needed release from the tension we'd dealt with the previous days. Another rescue mission that had been depressing given how little we'd been able to do. A major flood had wiped out entire towns and we'd gone in to help clean up the mess, arriving on-site long before the water had receded. The number of dead…

We'd needed the night off.

"Let's see if they left us anything of use."

We took our time exploring and eventually found the file room, which had been stripped to bare walls, just dust left behind and no clue as to what information might have been here. Winter Soldier missions of course, but surely other things, including the details of the other five Winter Soldiers, who they were and how they had been created.

We went through room after room, down hallways and stairs until we found ourselves back where we had started.

"Fuck," Bucky muttered as he sat down on a set of stairs that had not been destroyed during the fight with Tony.

I had to admit to more than a bit of disappointment myself. We'd been hoping to find the detailed files on how the mind wipe machine worked, but they had clearly been removed within days of the battle here.

"We work with what we've got then," I said, reminding him we never would have gotten this far without the files I'd been sent anonymously.

"Would we be here if what we had was enough?" he snapped, then sucked in a deep breath. He blew it out to a slow count of ten while I waited patiently.

"How bad?" I asked, leaning back against the nearest wall.

He appeared to be confused for a moment then shook his head. "Bad enough," he shrugged. "I'll manage."

"Sleeping less than you already do is not managing," I pointed out. "Laurin warned that blocking the programming might cause the memories to become more pronounced."

Bucky hissed, "What the hell does she know about it? She's seen nothing more than the same files you have."

I froze at the pure vitriol in his voice. "Wow, you really don't trust her, do you?"

"I have no reason to trust her," he snapped without even pausing to think about it. "She's your friend, not mine. I appreciate what she's done, but…"

But she hadn't been seen or heard from since we'd blocked access to the programming in Bucky's mind. "She has a job, Buck, and a life. Is that why you're mad, because she didn't hang around?"

He rubbed the back of his head, not able to meet my eyes. "No. I mean, shouldn't she be here, in case something goes wrong? In case I need to be fixed again?"

I'd thought the same thing, but she had left Bucky in the best of hands. T'Challa's people set up for long term monitoring and having a grand time exploring other uses for her neural mapping. Another contract that would net Rinn money hand over fist. If it worked as they thought it could help diagnose and create better treatment for neurological injuries of all types. Maybe even help deal with PTSD.

This new line of research just in its infancy so I knew she'd be back eventually, but I had never been privy to her schedule. Hell, she'd been so pissed at me after the first neural mapping session that she'd acquired her own lodgings and stayed there instead of with me. And, damn, there had been nights when I missed her by my side to chase away the dreams that came and refused to leave me be.

"Bucky, you don't need to be fixed. You're fine and they can't hurt you again."

He shook his head, still long hair shifting back and forth violently. "You still can't lie worth a damn. I've read the files and know the programming is ingrained so deeply that even with her making me forget that one word…" His mouth opened and closed several times as he tried to articulate it.

"Zhelaniye," I provided, pleased when he did nothing more than stare at me blankly. They'd wiped the word so completely that even when spoken to him he did not recognize it. "Longing."

"Yeah, that. It's weird I can almost feel the word in my head, but when I go to find it there's this blank space." He stood, eyes roving over the area as if expecting to see something new hiding in a corner we had missed. "There's still a risk the programming will reassert itself. It needs to be gone, not just blocked."

A risk we had known about going into this, which is why she'd taken copies of the files to see if she could tickle out a more permanent solution. She'd been angry with me, not Bucky, and promised she would do everything in her power to help. "Who do you want to help, Buck? Who can we trust with this? We didn't even give the details to T'Challa's people."

"I don't know," he groused, frustrated. He paced several steps away before turning about to level a heavy gaze at me. "You really trust her?"

"I do." I hoped that sounded convincing, since I'd clearly failed in that trust on the first attempt to map the programming. I hadn't repeated my idiocy during the other mapping tests or when they'd finally done what they could to block it, but it had been close. Sam had the right of it, I only trusted myself to protect Bucky. "You don't have to like her…"

Bucky snorted and snapped about to face me. "Steve, she sleeps with you, that won't be an issue."

I didn't see much point in explaining things, no one seemed to understand. Then again maybe I had simply missed something. They all seemed to think I should become more than friends with her, but I had Sharon… I hoped.

"Why does everyone play matchmaker with me?" I mused aloud, tipping my head up to stare at the far distant ceiling, sending a silent plea to any god who might listen - except Thor, who would probably join in on the get Steve a date party - to make them understand that I was fine with my life, that I didn't need a relationship, a romantic relationship, anyway, to survive.

Friends, good friends especially, made all the difference in the world.

And I had those.

So why did everyone think I needed more?"

"Because she's hot and yours for the taking," Bucky said, with a decided lack of expression on his face and in his voice.

I laughed softly. Sam had said practically the same thing, but aside from dinner and drinks I didn't think their _relationship_ had progressed to anything more serious.

Once upon a time I had wanted the whole package, a girl, a home, a family.

_The right partner._

But that had gone out the window the moment I went into the ice.

Little wonder I had held off kissing Sharon until after Peggy had passed. I had still carried a torch for her no matter how much I liked her niece. _That_ had been both a shock and a relief to learn and explained the inexplicable attraction I held for her.

Still, I'd probably screwed that up as well by staying out of touch for so long.

"Well, hate to say this but she's not interested in me that way. Maybe you'll have better luck."

Bucky snorted in clear derision and shook his head. "Let's get out of here."


	5. Chapter 5

A solid _thump_ woke me up out of a sound sleep. The virulent swearing kept me conscious and sent me flying out my bedroom and into the main suite to find Bucky shoved face first into the wall next to the door, his right arm wrenched so far back that I wanted to wince for him. Much to my shock Laurin held him in place. One hand in the center of his back, the other gripping his arm at that painfully awkward angle.

She'd shoved him into the wall with enough force to crack the plaster; that thump I'd heard.

I could see the fingers on his cybernetic hand opening and closing in a fist, the arm shifting colors in an almost frenetic manner. He had conscious control over the colors, but could lose that control when upset. Every time he lifted the arm, probably intending to plant it against the wall to push away she twisted his other just a touch more forcing him to remain still or risk needing two prosthetic arms instead of just the one.

"Rinn, it's okay. It's just Bucky."

Her head whipped about, clearly shocked to see me standing there. Still she didn't move position for a few seconds more, then, with all due, care released Bucky and stepped back.

"Sorry," she muttered, looking as if she still had an excessive amount of adrenaline coursing through her.

Buck spun about to aim a deadly glare at her as he rubbed his shoulder, rotating it as if to make certain she hadn't actually dislocated it.

"What the hell are you doing here and how did you get in?" Bucky snarled, taking two aggressive steps towards her that didn't even make her blink, never mind twitch. The fact that I caught her settle into a subtle defensive stance assured me she would be prepared to protect herself if Bucky's temper boiled over in her direction.

She pointed at the key she'd dropped on the floor when the short fight had begun and snarked, "Work, why else?"

She turned to me, straightening slightly and forcing her shoulders to relax. "They said the key had been left for me. I had no clue anyone was in here."

"So, lemme guess," I turned to Buck who still looked ready to throttle her within an inch of her life, "the door opened and you attacked."

Bucky's head snapped towards me. "Well, yeah. What else should I have done?"

I couldn't argue with that. I probably would have reacted similarly.

"Bad guys generally don't use keys," she groused.

"Covert ones do," he argued and she tilted to concede the point.

"And you," I turned to her, ignoring the peanut gallery commentary from both of them," responded defensively and broke the wall with his face." I nodded to the damage she'd done, yet another reminder that no matter how she appeared in public she failed to be a wilting flower in private.

"Duh," she grumbled. "Look, I've been awake for…" she paused, closing her eyes and, much to my surprise, swaying, as she tried to figure it out, "thirty-six… No, forty-eight plus twelve not minus, so sixty hours give or take a time zone. I'm a wee bit punch drunk at this point and used a tad more force than probably necessary." She glanced over at Bucky who had finally relaxed his Alpha male stance, if only slightly. "A good thing it would appear, as he definitely could have flattened me otherwise."

"Buck?"

He threw up his hands and stalked back to the kitchen, where he must have been getting a late night snack when Rinn came in the door. The makings for a sandwich lay scattered across the island counter, and, as I watched, he bent over to pick up a plate and bottle of mustard that had hit the deck when he'd gone into attack mode. His sleep cycle even screwier than mine most days no matter how much effort he put in to exhausting himself during the daylight hours.

"I gotta wonder who wanted her dead by sending her here." He shrugged and started to clean up the mess he'd caused when jumping over the island to get to the opening door as swiftly as possible. I would have done the same thing to get the element of surprise on the intruder. And both of us could move near silently when we wanted to.

I sighed. Not killed, though it would have been a possibility if Rinn hadn't been more than she appeared. "I think it was more to get us to kiss and make up, so to speak."

Bucky sighed. "Fucking Wilson."

I nodded in agreement.

"Oh, jeez," Rinn grumbled. "He better not have been the one to encourage T'Challa to contact me. I have a fuckton of shit to do and don't have time to be stroking super egos right now."

I stared at her in surprise while Bucky barked in laughter. "Stroking egos," he repeated around chuckles.

She eyed him with care. "How bad are the dreams?" she asked, his amusement cutting off abruptly.

"None of your business is what they are," he snapped, giving up on the snack, tossing the bits into the garbage can before slamming open the fridge, and grabbing a beer instead.

She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, looking as if she wanted to scream in pure frustration. "Sorry about the mess." She walked over to her bags that had been dropped when a cranky Winter Soldier had gone for her, and hefted them with a weariness that felt palpable from across the room.

Exhaustion would be a step up for her. She was dead tired and needed a minimum eight hours to be human. I knew she could get cranky when tired and here Bucky was pushing every button she had when she'd been just as duped as us.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Steve." She pointedly did not look at Bucky.

She headed to the door, but I got there before she managed to get it open more than a couple inches.

"No," I stated, once I convinced her to let go of the door knob I shut and locked the damn thing. Then I stood between it and her until she backed off a couple steps. It would be either that or physically move me, which she might be able to do if motivated enough. I just hoped the need for sleep would win on this occasion.

"No what?" she asked in utter confusion.

"No, you are not leaving. Sleep here tonight, we'll beat up on Sam tomorrow." I could hear Bucky's jaw pop from across the room.

I glanced over at him, beer tipped up and being quickly drained, but he met my gaze the entire time making me glad death lasers from his eyes were not part of his arsenal.

"Yes?" I asked, wondering if he would actually say anything or just keep glaring daggers at her.

He set the beer down with more force than necessary, but managed to not break it… just. "Stay," he muttered after several minutes of dead silence, if the clocks hadn't been digital all we would have heard was their soft ticking of the seconds as they went by. "He'll be more than happy to share his bed, I'm sure." The last words sneered, and I felt Rinn stiffen beside me.

"He doesn't need me," she stated with a tip of her head as she watched Bucky. "And I'm too tired to explain why right now." She took a step back and met my eyes. "The sofa will do, just need a few minutes to get the stink of airplane off me, okay?"

"Of course," I agreed and stepped aside, pointing in the direction of the guest bath across the suite.

Once out of sight I turned on my roommate. "Damn it, Buck, I know you don't trust her, but you could at least pretend to be polite."

He looked guilty for an instant, then shook his head. "Hey, I didn't invite her."

"Neither did I," I snapped, "but she's here. You've had questions, you might think about playing nice or you won't get answers." I left him standing there and went to retrieve some linens and pillows to make the sofa reasonably comfortable.

When I came back out Rinn and Bucky stood about three feet apart, each watching the other with a wariness that couldn't be missed.

He rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry, I overreacted. I… I haven't been sleeping too well lately."

She nodded, watching him in a way that I knew. She could see into people, somehow. Not like Wanda, who could _literally_ get into your mind and change things, this was more perception, a gut instinct about a person and their motives and needs. Especially their needs. It remained a huge part of why the Avengers/SHIELD/et al kept her around. She could get to the heart of the matter in mere seconds on almost no information.

Maybe that's the real reason Sam had set her up. Buck needed help, but had been doing little more than shutting himself off, staying away from anyone and anything that might be at risk. He needed to move on from what happened to him, but did not yet know how. Laurin, our very special Rinn, might be able to assist with that just by being her.

"I'll forgive you this time," she offered with a tired smile. "We're both way off our game at the moment. Besides, you'll need time to get over the embarrassment of being beaten up by a girl."

Bucky actually grinned, shaking his head. "Luck and leverage, that's all that was."

She shrugged and turned to head for the kitchen, missing Buck reaching out to her, his right arm coming up halfway, freezing in place as if he hadn't intended on moving it then dropping back to his side. The look on his face an odd one, hope mixed with… longing?

How strange. Could Buck be so angry with her because he actually _liked_ her?

A question for another day as I caught Rinn cracking a massive yawn.

I pretended as if I'd seen nothing as I stepped out in the living room with my arms full of bedclothes. I set everything up quickly and found Rinn standing behind me as I finished. She set a hand on my arm, fingers cool, and squeezed.

"Thanks, Steve." Then much to my surprise. "Goodnight, James."

Bucky grunted as if kicked hard in the gut and stalked off to his room, shutting the door with a soft, but definite click to discourage any more conversation.

"We'll talk tomorrow?" I asked quietly not wanting the roommate with super hearing to, you know, hear.

"Of course." She cracked another yawn and I encouraged her to lay down, finally.

" G'night, Rinn."

She smiled sleepily and by the time I reached the door to my bedroom she was out cold.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

The next time I woke up I could smell bacon cooking, which made no sense to me. I mentally reviewed the contents of the fridge and came up with… not much really. Neither Buck nor I could cook worth a damn, so we generally had meals prepared or ate out. And not necessarily with each other. We had been encouraged to move in together, mostly to give Buck some solid footing on which to stand, but also to make me his baby-sitter. That said, I did not spend every moment with him. He had to figure out how to live on his own in this brave new world we found ourselves in.

Of everyone, I would most likely be the first to know if something had changed.

And, of everyone, I would be the one most able to stop him.

Laurin had made me memorize certain phrases in Russian, just in case the programming reasserted itself. Phrases that should turn The Winter Soldier off, or, at the very least, give me enough time to act. I had imagined what he could do if in Winter Soldier mode, but with no commands.

It would be bad.

Exceedingly bad.

I threw off the covers and hit the head before venturing out into the apartment.

I don't know what I had been expecting, but the sight of Bucky sitting at the counter slurping down a huge omelette with a grin on his face had definitely not been anywhere near the top of the list.

Or on the list at all.

_What the hell?_

"What time is it?" I grumbled as I joined Bucky at the counter. A plate swiftly appeared before me, covered in the largest omelette I have ever seen and what looked like half a rasher of bacon, the really thick cut stuff that smelled like heaven. Next to it appeared a huge mug of coffee that I grabbed and sipped while eyeing the monstrosity that would be my breakfast.

"Early as fuck," Bucky answered running a hand through his hair. He shrugged. "I couldn't sleep and wandered out to find her tiptoeing about. She offered to make breakfast."

"It's just after oh-seven-hundred," Rinn answered once Bucky had finished. "Late for you."

"Well, I did have that oh-two-hundred wake up call," I reminded, then dug into the omelette with my fork and gave it a try. I had to force myself to not groan. It might have only been filled with tomatoes and cheese, but it tasted like home.

Bucky laughed at the look on my face. "Yeah, she's not a half bad cook."

"I am an excellent cook, James. You just can't tell because you suck at it." She removed the last of the bacon from the pan, setting it in on a paper-towel covered plate to drain, turned off the burner, then moved to stand across from us, her own mug of coffee in hand.

I grinned. "She's not wrong." I tried the bacon next while watching my two friends with care. While not nearly as tense as the standoff last night neither of them were as at ease as their light-hearted banter would appear. I know Rinn held no animosity for Bucky, or had not been made aware of any, to be more accurate. She smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. She laughed, but it seemed forced.

She did not want to be here and I had no idea why.

"Eat, you," she ordered of me. "I know your caloric needs and you have not been meeting them." She gave me a look that from anyone else would have been sexual, but from her nothing more than appraising.

"Haven't been working as hard, don't need as much fuel," I argued, but cut off a big chunk of egg, added some bacon and stuffed it into my mouth.

"Liar," she grumbled then, "Oh, I forgot." She set down her cup and dashed about the counter to her bags, which she proceeded to dig through.

I turned to Buck, who looked just as confused as I felt.

She came back with a couple of generic shopping bags. "I brought prezzies."

I could feel the eyeroll, Buck hit it so hard, but he didn't refuse the bag she shoved at him. She stood there, practically bouncing on her toes while he opened it.

He froze for a long moment then softly, "How?"

She shrugged, her mood turning oddly somber. Then in classic mob voice, "I know a guy."

Bucky stiffened and I couldn't hold my tongue any longer. "Buck, what is it?"

He pulled a tattered backpack out of the shiny plastic shopping bag and held it open. "My go bag and… and my journals."

I shot a serious look at Laurin. I knew where those had last been and knew there could no way she'd gotten them legally. "Laurin?"

"So, I know a girl. Sharon says 'Hi,' by the way." She appeared to be so innocent, but I knew it to be a ruse.

Then my brain kicked in.

"Wait? You spoke to Sharon?"

Rinn nodded.

Buck poked her on the shoulder to get her attention. "How?" he repeated, more insistent this time.

"I promise my virtue is intact. I may have led them to believe I'd be willing to back down my stance on no more sims for the right price." She pulled out one of the journals and handed it to him. "A blank one. Maybe you'll be able to sleep if you start writing the memories down again."

He took it from her and thumbed through it, not quite meeting her eyes. "Thank you."

She nodded then looked at me, holding out the second bag. "And for you."

I wanted to refuse it, but she had that stubborn set to her face and I feared for my life if I didn't accept it graciously. I used a napkin to wipe my hands before taking it. I opened it with some trepidation, the bag heavier than it looked.

I parted the sides and reached in to pull out and oversized notebook, the kind with the rings at the top for… "A sketchbook?" I looked back into the bag to see one of those huge drawing sets, pens and pencils of every color imaginable along with smudging tools. Everything I would need to get started doodling again.

"Yes, a sketchbook, silly. You are more than Captain America. It's time you remembered that."

She trotted back into the kitchen itself and set about to clean up the minor mess she'd created while the two of us exchanged a pair of bemused looks. She'd managed to get both of us what we needed most at this point in our lives, though how she knew would continue to be beyond me.

Bucky, well, he looked shellshocked. To have his possessions back, all those hard won memories he'd recorded in dozens of journals over the course of two years, that would mean more to him than even I could comprehend. And then… and then to encourage him to continue to fight for those memories, to fight to remember who he had been, to endeavor to figure out who he wanted to be…

Hell, it meant the world to me, I could only imagine… no, I had no way to understand how he currently felt.

"You okay?" I asked softly, giving him the option to not answer if he wished.

He shifted back in his seat and nodded. "Yeah. Surprised, though. You still haven't told us how you managed this." That had been directed to Rinn, who stood there drying the pans with her back to us.

She tipped her head to acknowledge that she'd heard him, but still took a moment to answer. "It had been forgotten, mostly. Never actually logged into evidence or anything like that and with the mess that followed, other lines of inquiry were pursued." She turned her head just enough for us to see her profile. "They know pretty much everything The Winter Soldier has done, your journals were redundant and unneeded. I doubt anyone will notice they've gone missing."

Well, that had a lot more information in it than it seemed. Ross's joint task force had the Hydra Winter Soldier files and therefore the equipment from the base. "Shit," I muttered and Bucky nodded in agreement.

"How the hell did I end up with the Red Book files then?" I wondered aloud. Though I suppose it could have been… "Sharon," I guessed and Rinn shook her head.

"She doesn't have access, though if you'd asked she probably would have found a way."

"Which is why I didn't ask," I pointed out, though in truth it hadn't even crossed my mind. I'd done enough damage already both to her career and our relationship. "Then who?"

"Oh, Nat, most likely," Rinn answered as if it should have been obvious.

"She sided with Stark, I thought?" Buck questioned so I wouldn't have to.

"Not at the end she didn't," I reminded. And she hadn't. She'd always been a smart girl and we'd become good friends somehow and she knew when I would not stop, when my moral compass ruled my motives and she'd, not sided with me, so much as let me be hoist by my own petard. She let me be me, and just look how that had ended.

"True," Bucky agreed. "Still, she signed the Accords."

"Doesn't mean she don't regret it," Rinn stated and that was one huge clue that she had talked to Nat and recently at that.

"She doing okay?" I asked, truly wanting to know my friend hadn't paid for my decisions.

"She's good. Hanging with Clint and her namesake." She finished the dishes, eyed the food left then rubbed her hands together briskly. "Can you two handle cleaning up the rest?"

I glanced at Buck who nodded to me. "I think we can manage. Why?"

" 'Cause I have places to be, unlike the two of you." She walked over to her bags, grabbed the smaller one and then headed to the guest bathroom to get ready.

Once out of sight, Buck backhanded me on the arm, hard. "Ow, what was that for?"

"For being a thickheaded dolt."

I blinked, not having the slightest clue to what he currently referred. "Uh…"

"She just offered to take a message to Sharon and you missed it completely. No wonder you've barely made it to first base." Bucky shook his head and chuckled in complete dismay at my cluelessness.

Oh.

_Oh._

Even after all this time I still remained a total idiot when it came to women. It didn't seem to prevent them from liking me, but I usually needed to be hit upside the head before I got any real inkling of what they wanted. Add in the seventy-plus year skew in signals and I still fumbled.

_A lot._

I found it far simpler to treat a woman like a person first and foremost. Romantic plotting and planning so far down my perception list that I often never noticed it. Thus having two of my friends tell me recently that I could have Laurin if I wanted when I had no clue if she were even interested in me _that way_. And it wasn't one of those questions you could just come out and ask.

Or maybe I could if I had been anyone other than Steve Rogers.

Plus, I had no clue what I wanted out of a relationship any longer. Wife, two point five kids, house with a white picket fence would not be my lot unless I gave up my life as I currently lived it.

I felt pretty certain in this case I could not have my cake and eat it too.

"I'll keep that in mind," I finally mumbled, wondering what I could say to Sharon besides 'sorry, I'm an idiot'.

"Does she do stuff like this often?" he asked as he took out one of his journals, allowing it to open to a random page.

"And if I said yes? Would that make a difference?" I kind of wanted to know. He only seemed to complain about her not being here, yelling at her when she happened to show up and then look at her as if he could not live without her. It made no sense to me.

"I just… She doesn't know me at all. Hell, I don't know me anymore." He pushed the plate away and got up to pace across the room, journal still in his hands, the bag settling on the floor by the stool. He appeared to be exceedingly tired, more so than usual.

"Buck, it's only been a few months."

He shook his head. "This time, but I had two years to try and straighten out my head. There's still holes, gaps, memories of me, of The Winter Soldier, and sometimes they get mixed up-"

I slid off the stool, strode briskly across the room to set a hand on his shoulder. "You've got a century of memories to sort out, it might take more than a couple years to do that."

He nodded, giving me that same sad smile I'd seen just before he'd gone into the cryostasis again. "Yeah, I guess so."

"You boys need some alone time?" Rinn asked from behind me and I sighed.

"Well, yes, but you haven't left yet," Bucky snarked, but for once he didn't seem to mean it.

"Then you'll be pleased to know I am out of here," she responded with a grin. She had dressed for business casual, but she had a bag slung over her shoulder that could easily hold a sim-suit. We hadn't actually chatted about why she had come to Wakanda, just implied that T'Challa had made the request. "I'll have my bags picked up later."

"You don't have to do that."

I twitched. That had to have been the last thing I ever expected to hear from Bucky, especially after his greeting last night.

She raised one blonde eyebrow and just stared at him for a moment before commenting. "I think it would be best. I keep odd hours for work and you do not need your sleep any more disturbed that it already has been." She managed a slow nod. "But thanks."

"Laurin," I began, not wanting to discourage Bucky's efforts at interaction no matter how dumbfounding, but she shook her head and I shut up.

She walked over and hit me on the arm. "You."

"What?" I whined, causing Buck to snigger.

"Sparring later today. I'll text you. Yes?"

Nice to know I had the option to bow out. "Sure. You good?" Yeah, I worried about her too, but she remained one of the few people I could spar with and didn't have to hold back... much.

"Good as can be," she assured me. She met Bucky's eyes for an instant and then walked to the door, leaving the apartment without another word.

"I thought you were her friend?"

"I am, why?"

"You really are clueless aren't you?" He shook his head and settled into the sofa, the pillows and blankets Rinn had used on the cushion beside him.

"About what?" I asked, heading back to the island where I'd left my coffee, hoping the caffeine would help me make sense out of this morning.

"She's upset as hell about something," he told me. "Stress level probably just about maxed out."

I opened my mouth to argue, but he gave me a look that shut me up.

"She's covering it well, but it's there for anyone to see."

Which I hadn't.

At all.

I'd been so focused on her ability to help others I never considered that she might need some of her own. "Fuck," I grumbled softly.

"We have already established that you do not see her _that way._ "

I choked on my swallow of coffee and glowered at him. "You saying you do?"

His look went enigmatic for several seconds before he shook his head. "I'm not safe for her to be around."

"Buck-"

"You should talk to her."

"Yeah, okay. I will. Maybe dinner with all of us?"

He nodded. "Safer that way."

I really wish he'd stop harping on his potential for doing harm. He'd done nothing of the sort since waking up.

"And we won't have to cook," he finished, a cocky grin on his face.

"And for that you get to clean up breakfast," I groused, taking my coffee and heading to my room to get dressed. I actually had things to do today as well, starting with a meeting in less than an hour.

"Hey, that means I get dibs on the leftovers," he quipped, hopping to his feet in a manner that was all the Bucky of old.

I liked seeing that as I missed my old friend almost as much as he did.


	6. Chapter 6

"You spar with her? How have you not snapped her in two?"

Bucky and I worked out regularly, fighting skills, cardio, weightlifting, though they often had to seriously modify weight sets for the two of us. Difficult to find a challenge when you can lift a car one-handed, but we managed.

Sparring had been the most useful. My fighting skills until SHIELD mostly back alley style. Lots of punches with the occasional kick tossed in. I admit to relying a bit heavily on my shield in days past, but Fury had insisted I learn some real martial arts and it had paid off in spades.

_Then_ the whole parkour trend had come out and I took to it like a duck to water.

Bucky had been taught some of the deadliest fighting techniques that Hydra and the Russians could come up with, mostly brute force, but he could move as quick and graceful as a jungle cat when he wanted.

Fighting one on one during the war had been completely different from the hand to hand skills of today, but we had obviously both adapted.

Rinn, on the other hand, had grown up with self defense and martial arts training thanks to being born into a military family. Once upon a time she had intended to join the Air Force, following in her grandfather's, father's and two brother's footsteps.

She loved to fly.

Then reality had hit and she'd watched her dreams go up in so much smoke that everything had been obscured for a long while. She'd turned to computers for solace and discovered a knack for writing code. Her first game had been a flying simulator of sorts and had won her awards.

With her body failing, but her mind trying to fill the gaps, she found a new love and dove in head first.

"She's tougher than she looks," I explained, poorly. I had no clue if Bucky had done any research on her, and I would not be the one to explain, that was her story to tell if she so chose to share it with him.

"She looks like a super-model with a nasty heroin addiction," he snarked, and I couldn't argue with the assessment.

Twig thin, every muscle and rib visible, she still flowed with a wiry grace that could be deadly if she wished. She reminded me of Mockingbird, but at about half the overall mass. Far as I knew she had never killed anyone, least not with her bare hands. Some of the stuff she had assisted SHIELD with had probably led to deaths, but that felt far different from pulling the trigger yourself.

Her long pale blonde hair had been forced into a braid that hung down her back, loose strands sticking to her sweaty skin here and there, but she appeared to be little more than warmed up. The skin tight clothes not hiding anything. She moved with an economy that would have made Nat proud.

"And she's keeping up just fine with him," I noted, pointing at the much more heavily built Wakandan she currently sparred with. I recognized him and suspected he was one of the warriors, but could not remember his name.

As if to prove my point the man closed with her, she twisted, and heaved him easily over her hip. He hit the mat hard enough for me to feel the impact from across the room and I honestly didn't think she had been putting all that much effort in.

"Damn," Bucky muttered under his breath.

"Go for it," I said, pointing at her with my chin.

He shook his head. "I don't wanna hurt her."

I chuckled. "You won't. Go on." He stood stock still eyes flicking from me to her and back again. I knew Laurin could handle it, provided Bucky didn't go full bore at her. Only so much even she could compensate for and he had an arm that could punch _through_ concrete, which gave you an idea of how tough I'd become given he'd pounded the snot out of me on a couple of occasions.

I swallowed a grin as I got an idea of how to goad him into action. "I dare you."

He shot me a look that could have peeled paint from the walls, but sighed heavily. "You're still a punk," he muttered. "If I break her I'm blaming you."

I shrugged, not backing down and waiting until he shuffled over towards the pair. Rinn got the young Wakandan in a choke hold, and when he tapped out Bucky asked,"May I have the next dance?"

The man gave Bucky an appraising look then glanced at Rinn who nodded, the kid probably knowing exactly who Bucky was and making certain she wanted to risk going toe to toe with the infamous Winter Soldier.

I leaned back against the wall not about to miss this demonstration of skills.

They faced off opposite each other, her giving him a proper bow, her eyes never leaving his before settling into a typical defensive stance. Buck just watched her, trying to assess her fighting style. Thing of it, I knew she didn't really have one. She'd been taking martial arts of one stripe or another since she could walk. Yeah, there'd been that five-ish year period when even walking had been beyond her, but she'd picked it back up once hale and whole.

Natasha, our Red Room trained Black Widow, had shown Rinn more than a few moves and had deemed her 'adequate', which sounded awful, but was high praise coming from Nat. Bucky would be in for a surprise.

He bounced on his toes, as if debating what to do first. She crouched slightly, held out a hand and waved for him to come at her.

I snorted loud enough for Buck to hear me and the instant he turned his head she launched herself at him. He managed to backpedal a couple steps before she was on him.

She threw a punch at his face, but the moment he lifted his arm in defense, she changed target, grabbing his wrist and twisting, diving under his arm, and turning it into a hold reminiscent of the one she'd gotten on him last night. This time she planted a foot behind his knee and pushed, causing him to grunt and go down.

He got his left arm out, preventing his face from hitting the mat, but she had seen it coming, rotating again and kicking backwards into that arm. Thankfully with her heel, else she might have broken a toe or three, and the arm collapsed. She ended up on his back, his right arm back at that awkward angle he would probably never forget now, one foot planted solidly on his spine, her knee wedged into his side.

Could he have forced her off? Most likely, but his face showed surprise at how easily she had taken him down. He tapped the mat and she instantly released him, retreating back to her side.

He got to his feet, a slow smile taking over his face. She had impressed him, realizing that last night had not been, as he had said, 'luck and leverage.'

He didn't even bother settling and charged her, swinging punches that were damn near full strength, she blocked them, got a kick into his knee that made him yelp, but he managed to grab a wrist with his left arm and used it to flip her onto her back with an ease that impressed me. His real arm strong thanks to the serum, but the cybernetic one outstripped it by a factor of ten. He set a foot gently on her throat and she tapped out far too graciously for it to be real.

He offered a hand up, which she took, then proceeded to use the kindness against him. He had been ready for it and the brawl that ensued would be the stuff of legend. The others in the room had stopped their own workouts to watch. Some had trained with me or Rinn or even Sam in the past, but they had not seen Bucky in person.

And they watched him with a care that worried me, but it would also give them fair warning as to what he could really do unarmed.

"Come on, tap out," I heard Bucky say, and saw he had Rinn in a choke hold. One arm locked behind her head at a shoulder aching angle, the other entangled with his.

She met my eyes and I cringed inwardly at what I knew to be coming.

She collapsed attempting to go to her knees. Possibly dislocating the shoulder in the process, though I did not hear that pop from where I stood. Buck had no choice but to let go or follow along with their arms so twisted together. He chose the latter, not willing to give up his grip on her. The moment he bent she cracked her head back, catching him in the jaw hard enough for him to blink then she rolled, tossing him right over her and onto his back. She twisted, intending to pin him, but the hit hadn't dazed him enough and he knocked one of her arms out from under her and flipped, ending with him on top.

He outweighed her by a fair hundred pounds and physically massed far more, the muscles and bones denser than normal. While I'd seen her lift more, I doubted he'd give her the chance. Both hands secured above her head, his weight on her thighs preventing her from arching effectively to throw him off.

"You're a vicious little thing, aren't you?"

"Let me go and we'll find out," she offered. I could see her muscles tensing and relaxing as she tested his hold, looking for any opportunity to escape.

Bucky panted above her, hair damp with sweat and hiding his face from me. I heard him say something, but could not make out the words.

Rinn suddenly went boneless beneath him and responded just as quietly. I could see Bucky tense at her response, his fingers unconsciously tightening about her wrists, but she no longer fought his hold. Then she lifted her head slightly to say something directly into his ear.

He jerked back, left arm flashing down to impact the mat next to her head, going _into_ the mat and leaving a fist sized hole in its wake. Then he rolled off her, got to his feet and stalked away, finding one of the other exits to disappear through.

Rinn lay there for another moment, as if she had expected his violent reaction, sighed heavily, then climbed to her feet.

I got past my shock, shoved off the wall, and went to her. "What did you say to him?"

She shrugged. "I answered his question. Not my fault he didn't care to hear the truth." She moved as if to step away, but I firmly grasped her biceps to stop her.

"What did you say?" I repeated, anger in my tone this time. I did not need her playing head games with Bucky, he wouldn't be able to handle it.

She stiffened at first, glaring at me, but I refused to let go until she answered. She wiped sweaty hair off her forehead. "Steve, I don't talk about our private conversations with others, why would I discuss his?"

Fair enough, I supposed, given I'd told her some things I wanted no one else to hear. She'd never betrayed that trust, I could respect that she would do the same for my friend.

I nodded to her and went to find Bucky.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

I found him in the locker room just as he slammed the door to his borrowed locker hard enough to make it fold around the internal lock mechanism, the hinges at the top and bottom snapping and then the whole thing bouncing back instead of jamming in the frame.

With a snarl, he backed up until sitting on the bench that ran down the center of the aisle, head tipped down, and fingers laced behind his neck so tightly those of his right hand turned white. "Fuck," he growled, rocking back and forth.

"Buck," I said softly.

He froze, slowly released his hands, and rotated his head to meet my eyes. "Is she all right?"

I nodded. "Fine. Beating up someone else about now, I imagine." I walked over to the locker and attempted to straighten it out. Granted I couldn't fix the hinges, but I did what I could. It would close when done, sort of. I settled back against the other undamaged lockers. "What did she say to you?"

He sighed heavily. "Nothing important."

"Buck, you punched a hole through the mat-"

"It wasn't her head."

"- so whatever she said wasn't 'nothing'," I finished, almost afraid to discover if he had intended that fist for her face.

He gripped the edge of the bench hard enough I heard the metal creak as he began to crush it.

"Bucky, talk to me."

He let go of the bench, finger impressions imbedded in the metal that I probably would not be able to fix. "You've been going on and on about how she helps all of you, so I asked her… I asked her what she thought she knew about me."

Looked like he now regretted that decision. "And what did she say?"

He tipped his head back down, voice lowering to a bare whisper, "She said I don't want to be saved."

"Well, you're not a damsel in distress so…"

He shook his head. "Not like that," he grumbled. "That I don't feel I'm _worth_ saving."

My stomach dropped to somewhere in the region of my feet. He'd said something similar when we'd been on our way to Siberia and had probably contributed to him wanting to go into cryo. "It wasn't you who did those things."

"Then why do I see all their blood on my hands?" His head snapped up, eyes wild, hands held out to me palm up, almost as if in supplication. "I did those things. I committed those murders, controlled by Hydra or not."

"Yeah, you did," I agreed, no point in denying the truth. "That does not mean _you_ are to blame. Hydra is. Everyone wants to forget _they_ turned you into The Winter Soldier, _they_ gave you the orders. That _they_ are to blame." I believed that with every ounce of my being. Bucky... James Barnes would never had done any of those assassinations if in his right mind. Hell, they had wiped his mind regularly to prevent him from having any thoughts of his own.

Bucky had killed back in the war, we all had, but that had been our jobs. Stopping Hydra by any means necessary. My hands just as stained with blood as his. He'd been the Howling Commandos' sniper back in the day and had saved my life more than once and I suspected he would do so many times yet, if he would just give himself a chance.

"And _they_ won't look beyond me, the poster boy for all the evil Hydra has done over the years. You should have left me in cryo, Steve, till the world had a chance to forget" His shoulders drooped, hands burying themselves into his hair.

"You deserve a second chance, Buck. And… And I will do whatever you need to get you through this." I sat down next to him wishing I knew what to say.

"And what do I do to be redeemed? Become an Avenger? Follow you into battle again?"

"Is that such a bad idea? Show the world that Bucky Barnes is not what Hydra made him into?"

He shook his head. "No, not such a bad idea. Not sure if it's the right one, though."

"Won't know till you try." I shifted and set a hand on his shoulder. "I'll be there every step of the way. You won't have to go through this alone ever again."

He nodded, but without any real confidence in the idea.

"What did she whisper at the end?" I asked, sensing he had more that needed to be said, but would not do so without prompting.

He got to his feet violently and stalked away from me. I hoped he wouldn't slam any more doors, I didn't want to explain the one, never mind several.

"She said-" he shook his head like a dog flinging water out of its coat. "That word. The one they took away, but I can still feel it in here." He punched the side of his head with his fist. "Like an echo, in her voice, that damn word, and it makes me feel-" He pulled at his hair in frustration.

"Longing," I supplied, "for her. But she wasn't even there when they blocked it." Very true, the actual procedure had involved Wanda and Dr. Kin, a professional hypnotherapist, and it had taken three sessions to be certain Bucky retained no memory of the word, nor the ability to learn it again.

"I know that," he snapped, "doesn't change a damn thing in my head."

Well that explained a few things, those looks I kept seeing him give her when she wasn't able to see. She'd gotten stuck in his head and tied to a single word somehow, little wonder he wanted to both stay as far away as possible and punch her. Those were his two default modes these days.

"Buck, I'll talk to Wanda and Dr. Kin and we'll figure it out."

He gave me a tired look, tired of hearing me say we would fix something that might not be fixable. It had to be. I would not go back to life without my friend by my side. I'd given up everything for him, thrown away who I thought I was for him. No chance in hell I'd let him walk away again.

"She can't be near me," he finally stated, voice almost too soft to hear.

"Okay," I agreed, not about to argue this time. "Go, I'll catch up with you later."

He nodded, shoulders slumped low enough to drop his height several inches and left the room.

Now I had to figure out what to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Needless to say the dinner didn't happen.

I had gone looking for Wanda to ask her opinions on the whole mess. She seemed more than willing to assist, but did not know with any certainty why Bucky had fixated on Rinn. It hadn't been anything she'd done intentionally - not that I had even hinted I thought that - but admitted her powers had never been used in such a way before. She had been trained to put things in, encouraging existing emotions or memories to come to the fore and overwhelm the owner, as she had done for Ultron. That said she agreed to join me when I spoke to Dr. Kin so that maybe we could come up with a solution.

I made an appointment with Dr. Kin the next morning and texted Wanda with the information.

I did not tell Bucky. Not yet.

I remembered something about an anchor being needed to keep the word wipe in place, but didn't think they had made it Rinn, I'm pretty sure they would have told me that. Told _her_ that.

Shit. I needed to talk to Rinn, but by the time I realized it she'd been locked away working. A project for T'Challa was all I'd been permitted to know, and given I had no involvement in her business I had been kept out of it. Don't know why I felt I should be on the inside of the project, but it worried me. That some other play was being made and that I needed to be far more vigilant than I had been in recent weeks.

I found the apartment empty when I returned hoping Bucky hadn't eaten all the breakfast leftovers since I hadn't thought to pick up anything. I'd texted him a few times over the course of the afternoon and evening, and he'd always responded, but gave me no hint as to how he had handled his mental hiccup.

Rinn's bags had been picked up as expected, the pile of bedclothes still on the sofa reminding me she'd been here just twelve hours ago and through no fault of her own upended my comfortable little world. But maybe it had been time for an upending. We'd been resting on our laurels for too long now. The world still turned on its axis, people still needed heros and here we hid, afraid to show our faces for fear of… of what, really?

Being arrested?

Yeah, the Raft had done such a wonderful job of keeping me out, not likely they'd be able to keep me _in._ Unless I permitted it, of course.

But that would mean admitting I had been wrong.

Well, _that_ wouldn't be happening.

And the time had come to stand up for what I believed in.

To plant my feet and proclaim, 'no, you move.'

Time to just do my damn job.

I would talk to the team tomorrow, including Bucky, and see how they felt about getting back out into the field.

I mean, I knew the answer, except for Bucky, maybe, but given I was no longer their Captain, I would not order them to make this choice.

I cleaned up, scrounged for dinner and then settled in to wait for my friend.

 

~^~

 

"What are you, my mother?"

I lifted my head from the sketchbook to see Bucky closing the door, still in the workout clothes from earlier. He didn't seem annoyed, and truthfully I'd lost track of time.

After fifteen minutes of watching depressing news I had grabbed the sketchbook and pencils just to get a feel for them. Without conscious thought I'd ended up drawing Wanda, red energy glowing all about her hands, a look of concentration on her face. I hadn't done this in some time and could see the flaws that only time and practice would improve, but not bad for my first effort in… a long time.

"Damn, Steve," Bucky said quietly when he saw my efforts. "You've still got it." He waved at the drawing.

I shrugged. "It's okay, been a while. Kept snapping the points at first." I waved at the pile of shavings I'd dumped into a bowl. "You good?" I didn't want to push, to make him close up and go hide in his room, but I also wanted to know.

He nodded. "Not about to start eating babies if that's what you are worried about."

I snorted. "Is that what they fed you?"

He shook his head grinning. "I'm gonna grab a shower. You keep doodling."

"Bacon and eggs do ya for now?" I offered. I could probably manage those without screwing it up too much. Just had to reheat the bacon and scramble a couple eggs.

He nodded. "Yeah, thanks."

He vanished into his room and I got to my feet and made a beeline for the kitchen. I had just gotten the supplies out when my phone rang. Not a text, but an actual call. Those didn't happen too often these days.

I went back to the living room and picked it up off the coffee table. "Rogers."

I did not recognize the voice at the other end of the line, and her accent thick enough that I had to have her repeat what she'd said three times before it sank in.

Bucky came into the room, toweling his hair dry, stopped dead and stared at me. "What's wrong?"

I held up a finger, listening to the woman who now carefully enunciated each word in English now that she realized I was an imbecile. Still I had trouble believing what I heard. "I'll be there as soon as I can. Thank you."

Buck looked at me expectantly.

"There's been an accident. Rinn's at the trauma center asking for me."

He twitched. "Let me get dressed, you find a ride."

I nodded. He vanished back into his room while I stood there frozen for a long moment. With a shaky hand I rubbed my face then moved to clean up the kitchen and grab my shoes.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

Chaos swirled about us in the ER. Rinn hadn't been the only one hurt, though we still hadn't been told any details of what actually had happened. An explosion of some sort in the building where she'd been working, but that, so far, was all we knew.

We tried to stay out of the way, while also trying to find out where Laurin had been taken.

Thankfully, someone recognized me and rushed over.

"This way, sir," she said in heavily accented English. "She is refusing treatment until she speaks to you."

Buck and I followed. At least she was alive and well enough to ask for me.

The woman, a doctor or nurse I couldn't be sure and her tag wasn't nearly informative enough, paused before the door. "Please, convince her to accept treatment, quickly."

I nodded. Not sure how to answer, given the woman seemed to be certain Rinn would not survive without it, I told her, "I will."

She opened the door and waved us in.

Rinn sat on the gurney. A blanket wrapped about her, blood staining everything. Her face, neck and hair soaked in it. Her left hand held what looked like an ice pack to the back of her head, her right in a splint, assorted cuts and bruises visible here and there. Her feet bare and also bloody, her pants, what I could see of them torn, probably hiding more injuries under the material.

Bucky pushed past me. Going to her, hands coming up as if intending to cup her cheeks then stopping, almost but not quite touching her. He didn't say a word, just looked at her with a desperation that I could feel. Maybe I should have taken the time to talk to her about this little… obsession that had manifested.

She dropped the ice pack, placed the hand on his forearm, his cybernetic arm, and said, "It's okay, James. I'm okay." She looked at me in bewilderment at Bucky's reaction and I couldn't blame her. After his insistence that I keep her away to see him break like this so soon after felt… wrong.

He picked up the ice pack and gently reapplied it to the back of her head. She hissed in obvious pain, but did not flinch away. Her hand still wrapped about his forearm as if she understood he needed the contact to believe her words.

"What the fuck happened?" Bucky asked when he finally found his voice.

She shrugged, winced, then sighed softly. "Not a clue." She met his eyes, his all but demanding more information from her. "I was working. I heard… felt a rumble and dove under my desk."

"Why would you do that?" I asked stepping to her other side, and shifting the blanket to get a better idea of how badly hurt she was.

"Grew up in SoCal, earthquake drills make it second nature. You feel the ground move you get under the nearest stable object."

"Probably saved your life," I pointed out.

She started to nod in agreement, but Buck's hand shot up, cupping her chin to hold her still. "Don't," he advised.

Her eyes flicked to him, but she didn't argue. "I have no memory of getting out, but I supposedly dragged two others with me."

Clearly, she'd been hanging out with us superheroes for too long, she kept picking up bad habits. "An explosion?"

"You tell me. I'm a big fuzzy blur of pain right now."

I really looked at her, noting her left pupil markedly larger than the right. "You have a concussion. Why won't you let them treat you?"

She looked like she wanted to hit me. She raised her right arm, fingers noticeably swollen. Something was broken in there. "I don't dare."

"Shit," I muttered. "X-Rays okay? It's in your medical file, yes?"

"Yes, but I need this damn arm set first."

Bucky shot me a look full of questions that neither of us had time to answer.

I nodded to her then proceeded to unwrap the splint.

"Steve-"

"Hush," Rinn snapped.

He gaped at her.

You could see the break, where the muscle of her arm had been pushed upwards, bruising and swelling nearly doubling the circumference of her forearm. If the break had involved any more force it would have broken through the skin. "Both bones?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Okay. Buck, hold her still."

He didn't argue, dropping the ice pack and wrapping his arms about her upper body to prevent her from moving when I made her want to scream and fight me. Her left hand curling up to his shoulder, a six inch long cut now visible to my eyes. Damn, she should be healing faster than that. Her fingers dug into the cloth of the shirt Bucky wore. She understood how unpleasant this would be for both of us. Maybe, if she were lucky, she would pass out.

I ran my hands over her forearm, determining where the break truly had happened and the best places to grasp when I pulled to get them to shift back into place, or closer than they were anyway, her tiny assistants would do the rest and at an accelerated pace I imagined. I set my hands in place, the muscles of her arm tense beneath my palms. "Relax," I told her.

"Trying," she responded between gritted teeth.

Bucky leaned his forehead against the side of her head and softly said, "Close your eyes."

She met mine for an instant, a question buried deep within them, but she did as asked. Still, I had to wait nearly a minute before she relaxed and in that instant I tugged gently, using my grip on her wrist to maneuver the bones back into place.

She kept the scream inside and Buck had to tighten his hold to keep her from flinching away, but I got the bones back in place and quickly put the splint back on. Tears had cut trails through the blood on her cheeks when I faced her again.

"Ow," she squeaked as Bucky released her. She damn near fell over and both of us got a hand on a shoulder to keep her upright.

"Better?" I asked.

"Uh huh. Itches already. I hate breaks."

The door opened then and Sam was there, in his bird costume, goggles perched rakishly on the top of his head. "Cap, they need us."

"For what?" Not that I would say no, just wanted to know what we would be getting into.

"Search and rescue. Three more explosions went off, took down most of the building."

I glanced at Bucky, who nodded. We would both be going. "Wanda?"

"Already on site."

"Rinn?" I asked, to make certain she could handle things from here on her own. She looked like she needed to pass out. Setting her arm had taken her from pale to dead white, which did not look pleasing with all the blood.

"Are you an idiot?" Her voice only cracked a little on the words. "Go. Unless you want me to help, that is?"

"No," Bucky snapped.

She just cocked a bloody eyebrow at him.

"Stay here, please," he modified his tone and she shook her head with care.

She patted him on the cheek. "Obviously, you know less about women than your fearless leader." She turned her head to gaze blearily at the man in the doorway. "Get them out of here."

Sam swallowed hard now that he'd gotten a good look at her, grabbed the poor nurse/doctor who'd been standing outside the door the whole time waiting on us, and shoved her into the room with a, "Why has she not been patched up, yet?"

The woman huffed in indignation. "Because she insisted on seeing him," she pointed an accusing finger at me, "first." Then she unceremoniously shooed us from the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Gear?" I asked, as we rushed down the hall following Sam.

"In the transport," he assured us. "Stuff you've used before. Just don't dawdle."

We broke through the emergency room doors to see the chopper waiting on us. Sam found a clear spot and snapped his wings open. "I'll meet you there." Then he launched into the late night sky.

Bucky and I ran for the chopper.


	8. Chapter 8

Only half the building had come down, almost right down the middle, and while there were survivors in the part still standing, those in the rubble were the ones needing our assistance. There had apparently been several sublevels that the upper ones had collapsed into, making it even more challenging.

I had to wonder how Laurin had managed to get out of this.

Her work rooms had been on the third floor above ground. I'd been there a few times so knew roughly where the remains should have ended up, but the additional explosions had been the cause of the actual collapse, the building having survived the initial explosion reasonably intact. The secondary explosions hadn't occurred until first responders had arrived on site.

So, we dug. We lifted huge slabs of concrete with care to hopefully find living souls beneath. Fire and smoke and wires still live and sparking hampered us. They couldn't put out the fires with water till the power could be turned off, and there seemed to be an issue doing so. We made do with portable fire extinguishers, but it felt like a losing battle.

We had just pulled another body from the rubble when Bucky asked, "What is she?" over the comms.

We had our own channel, my team that is, so I presumed he'd used that line instead of the open one. I wasn't too worried about Sam and Wanda; they'd already figured out Rinn was something other than normal even if they didn't know the specifics.

I chose to play dumb. "Who?"

I heard the sigh from Buck, followed by a snicker from Wanda, who currently tried to smother a fire with her powers, it seemed to be working, but whatever burned didn't appear to need oxygen to keep going. Fun.

"Don't be a dunce. Is she one of those Inhumans?" Buck sounded cranky and tired. Given he'd been awake close to twenty-four hours at this point and had last eaten who knew when, I guess I couldn't blame him.

Too much.

"No, she's normal."

This time Sam had to be the smartass. "Hah," echoed down the comms from his position high above. He'd been playing crane when the IR proved to be useless thanks to the fires. And that had been after flying down as many as he could from the intact portion of the building.

Nice of them to back me up on this.

"Like hell," Bucky muttered, hefting what looked like a desk and carrying it off to the pile of rubble we'd been making from the… existing rubble. "That _concussion_ should have killed her."

I'd suspected that. Yes, head wounds bled like crazy, but there had been way more blood than could be accounted for from a simple cut and contusion combo. Explained why her arm had still been broken when we got there. The nanites in her generally focused on the worst damage first, if her skull had been broken, they would have begun there, putting her back together as quickly as they could, which could be damn quick when motivated, and keeping her functional where others would have probably been unconscious. Once I'd set her arm, any nanites that could be spared had moved to that repair.

"Buck, it's not my story to tell."

Silence followed for long minutes after that as we kept going. All of us moving what we could and hoping beyond hope we would find somebody left alive.

"Her story is all over the 'net," Sam offered up, suggesting he'd taken that very approach himself. "That'll give you a place to start if you don't want to ask her directly."

"Thanks," Bucky muttered, his footing going out from under him as what looked like a wooden door that he stood upon tilted unexpectedly. He disappeared into a hole with a curse.

"Buck," I bellowed, bounding over that way with as much care as I dared take.

"I'm fine. There's a void here, got three live ones, though all are out cold."

Sam and Wanda converged on our position and I called for medical back-up.

Then we got to work saving those trapped under the rubble.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

The sun had come up and gone back down before we called it quits. Others would continue, but we needed to rest and recover ourselves. Sam and Wanda had only had a couple hours sleep before being called in and me and Bucky had had none. We needed food and to patch up the wounds we'd managed to acquire when things had gone awry. Bucky hadn't been the only one to be caught off guard. Sam had been hit by falling debris from the standing part of the building and now had a set of stitches in his upper arm. He should have had it done hours ago, but at the time had simply wrapped it up and kept going. Wanda had taken a hit to the side of her head when a section she'd been moving had collapsed unexpectedly and she'd been unable to compensate for all the debris that had showered down.

Bucky and I had mostly bruises and scrapes since we had to be far more hands on than the others. I'd also managed to get burned when I accidentally backed into a live wire, my pride injured far more than my leg.

In the midst of getting a run down of the number of injuries and deaths I turned around to find Bucky gone. I forced the worry down, finished listening to the young harried man who'd been told to report to me then asked where Laurin had ended up.

They'd admitted her and that gave me a fair notion as to where Bucky had disappeared to. I headed for her room.

I leaned against the door jam, not wanting to disturb the scene before me. Not yet, anyway.

Bucky had Rinn's good hand, using that term very loosely at this point, in both of his, head tipped down to rest against them, almost as if he were praying. He'd pulled his hair back into a bun earlier, to keep it out of his face and from catching on fire, but strands had pulled loose. They failed to hide the weariness or concern etched into his profile.

"She gonna live?" I asked, keeping my voice down in an effort to not disturb her. She looked better, some color to her cheeks, and they'd cleaned her up, no blood staining her hair red now.

He rotated his head to look at me, expression bleak. "Concussion, hairline fracture in her arm, assorted scrapes and bruises. Heals almost as fast as us, huh?"

I shrugged, of course, we were a lot harder to break. "Looks that way." I moved into the room, standing at the foot of the bed. "Thought you were going to stay away?"

"So did I," he muttered, settling back into the chair, but not releasing her hand, her fingers twitching about his. "I can either fight it or give in and right now I'm too damn tired to fight."

A reasonably rational argument for dealing with something that clearly had become far from rational. "Food and sleep is what we need. They're pretty certain we've found everyone, but-"

"They'll still need to go through every inch of it," he finished. "I'll be good in four hours if you can scrounge some food."

I nodded. "No point in going back to our rooms, I'm sure they'll let us crash here. Make it easier for them to find us if we're needed sooner. I sent the others home, they need six minimum."

"They did good, Steve. This is messy, disappointing work." He closed his eyes for a long moment then said, "Could she have been the target?" He nodded towards the sleeping Laurin.

I shook my head. "I doubt it, there are easier ways to get to her than blowing up an office three stories above hers." Security footage from another building showed where the initial explosion had taken place, dropping several floors right down atop of Laurin - that rumble she recalled hearing. We'd found her desk, liberally splashed with blood, the computer smashed beyond recognition, but the other explosions had distorted how she had gotten out too badly for us to piece together while we searched for other survivors.

Others, with skills far better suited to that task would take over. We were the hired muscle, literally.

"So it was an accident?" he asked, propping his head up on his left hand, eyes still bright however, no matter how tired he looked.

I shrugged. "They don't know yet. May not know for days. All we can do is help."

He nodded slowly not satisfied with the answer, but I had no idea what else we could do. We lacked the resources I had grown used to, hell, lacked the motivation I had grown used to. Maybe I should have paid more attention to Sam's question when he'd asked me what I _liked_ to do. I'd never put in the time to figure it out. I'd been doing the same thing for so long, in one form or another, I doubted I could do anything else.

And yet… yet today had felt good no matter how horrible the reason behind it.

"Food," Bucky suddenly said, knocking me out of my deep thoughts.

I sighed softly. "Anything in particular?"

"Protein. Lots of protein," he answered, making my stomach growl it's need for sustenance as well.

Rinn muttered something in her sleep, and shifted, wincing as she put pressure on the damage to the back of her head.

Bucky said something in some language I didn't recognize and she huffed softly then settled down.

Interesting.

"I'll be back."

He nodded, his focus on the woman on the bed.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

We'd ended up hanging out in Laurin's room. I'd acquired another semi-comfortable chair and settled into it with a groan, the burn on the back of my leg not appreciating the pressure of my weight to the pleather. I'd found food, some kind of meat stew that smelled wonderful and that we'd eaten right out of the containers with the plastic sporks that had been provided.

It reminded me of our SSR days. Eating out of cans in full uniform, taking just enough time to grab the meal before moving back into the thick of things. We'd shed the excess gear and piled it in the corner of the room, but that was as close as we could come to relaxing our guard. Both of us realizing we could be asked for our help at any moment.

Bucky had crashed as soon as the food had been inhaled. I'd kept my eyes open for a couple hours, checking in with T'Challa and seeing what, if anything, had been learned. Nothing much, of course, since it was still too soon for definitive answers. So, I took the wise course, got comfortable and dozed, conserving energy while I could.

The doctor coming in to check on Laurin woke me up. I sat up, reaching for a gun I wasn't wearing then relaxed when the woman just looked at me.

"Ignore him," Rinn said, voice rough.

"Protecting you," the doctor stated with a nod in my direction and I wouldn't argue. That had been my reaction.

"Wake up, sleepyhead." Bucky's hand still held Rinn's and she gave it a squeeze, which encouraged him to open his eyes. Since I seriously doubted he'd slept through the doc coming into the room I gave him kudos for being sneaky and patient to see how it would play out. On this occasion I'd been the twitchy one.

"Why?" he whined, but he straightened, rubbing his thumb along the side of her hand. The seeming intimate contact not going unnoticed by the eagle-eyed doctor.

"Can you sit up?" the doc asked of Rinn, who proceeded to do so with the utmost care, but no real assistance. Light was flashed in eyes and injuries examined while I waited expectantly. "Good. I will begin the discharge procedure."

Buck didn't like that. "Uh, that's it? Glue her together and toss her out? She pulled two others-"

Rinn shut him up by digging her nails into his hand. "You need the bed," she said to the doctor.

"I am afraid so. You're injuries, while severe are not currently life-threatening."

Bucky swore in what I could only guess was Romanian.

Rinn chuckled, regretted it instantly, then muttered, "That was dumb," mostly at herself.

"She should not be alone for another twenty-fours hours as a precaution. And if you are feeling worse, come back. Do not hesitate. There could be brain damage we did not pick up due to your intolerance of MRIs."

"She won't be alone," Bucky stated.

I'd given up trying to figure what was going on in his head where Rinn was concerned, so I just nodded in agreement when the doc looked at me.

"Any chance I can get some clothes? Set of scrubs will do."

"Rinn, I'll go to the hotel and grab you some clothes," I offered, but she shook her head.

"They need to clean the room before they can put another patient in, the sooner I'm out the sooner they can get on it."

Oh yeah, that made sense. Once again proving she had smarts in spades buried in that cranium no matter how broken it might be at the moment.

The doc must have seen the realization on my face as she gave me a tiny smile. "I'll have a nurse bring them in, along with some instructions." She set a hand on Laurin's arm. "This is not something I would normally condone, but this emergency has put a strain on this facility."

"Don't apologize. I will be fine," she assured the doc, who nodded, gave me and Bucky a warning glare to take care of her patient, then strode briskly from the room.

"You are coming back to our place," Bucky tried for polite, but missed the mark based on the look Rinn shot him.

"I don't have the energy to fight with you," I added, "and neither do you. We've got the room and it makes more sense than for us to go to the hotel."

She pouted. "I don't need you guys babysitting me."

"That is not what the doc just said," Bucky grumbled, that stubborn look appearing on his face. He was going to get his way on this, and I agreed with him this time.

"And you know why the doc is wrong about that," she said to me. "Plus T'Challa could need you, and then I'd be alone anyway."

Any argument I may have made was stopped by the timely arrival of the nurse, a huge man with a head shaved so clean the overhead lights reflected off the surface, and who looked as if he could crush me with one hand.

He presented the pale blue scrubs to Laurin with a half bow, then pointedly ordered us from the room with eyes only. He remained behind, ostensibly to help her dress and give her the instructions, but even from the hall we could hear Laurin swearing up a storm about overprotective idiots.

We were permitted back in a few minutes later to find her standing next to the bed, wiggling her toes against the sure to be cold tiles of the floor. Her hair had been pulled back into a low ponytail revealing the paler than normal color of her face. Dressing had clearly been about as much fun as it had sounded.

"I will be back with the wheelchair," the nurse informed us.

Rinn sighed in clear irritation.

"No need."

He began to argue, but I went to Rinn and gently picked her up. She weighed nothing for me. Her left arm curled about my neck and she tucked her head against my shoulder, relaxing ever so slightly in my arms. This was far from the first time I had carried her like this, though this was perhaps the worst injury she'd sustained when I'd done so.

"I promise she will not walk a step today."

The nurse's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "Good enough. Take care Miss Cyrelle."

"I will," she told him as he left the room, leaving me with an armful of Rinn and all of our gear on the floor.

Maybe I should have thought this through better.

"I got it," Bucky groused as he collected our belongings, tossing the gear belts over his shoulder, the headgear in his hands.

"How bad?" she asked, sounding sleepy already. Then I heard her stomach growl. "Sorry. Need fuel soon."

I snickered. "We'll handle it. And have your stuff picked up." I glanced over my shoulder at Bucky. "Guess we should have just made her stay."

"No shit," he agreed. "Let's see if we can hail a cab out there."

No, we had not answered her question. She didn't need to burdened with the knowledge just yet.


	9. Chapter 9

We fed her and then she slept for another twelve hours. We took turns and woke her every hour for the first six, when she informed me, in no uncertain terms, that she would hang me off the balcony by my ankles with nothing more than my belt if I dared wake her again.

Bucky had roared with laughter and deemed her better if she could threaten that and neither of us had a doubt she would follow through if we pushed her to it. So, we just made certain she still lived instead of waking her. Bucky had given up his bed and crashed on the couch for a nap while I fielded phone calls about the destruction of the building. I was going through the list of the dead when I remembered I had missed the meeting with Dr. Kin. Turned out even if I had remembered it wouldn't have mattered. She'd been among the dead. The initial explosion going off next to the office she'd been in.

I had to wonder why the Doctor had been working so late at night, Rinn, I understood, her computer work often more easily done when there were few others about and it freed up processing on the servers she used. Her laptop had been destroyed, we'd found the bits, but unless the hard drive had been undamaged after fire, water, and simple crushing, the data on it would be lost. If it had been backed up onto the main servers and they had somehow survived, most if not all could be recovered.

Reconstructing the data, whatever it had been, would be a pain in the ass, but doable, I supposed. Wouldn't be the first time for her, I figured.

Dr. Kin being on site… that bothered me for some reason. Granted, not everyone worked a typical nine to five job these days, but, in truth, aside from helping with Bucky I had no idea what she did for her day job.

Something felt off, but I could not put my finger on what.

So, I did the only thing that made sense, I went to bed.

 

~^~

 

My phone ringing woke me up. I answered with a mumbled, "Rogers."

"What are you doing in bed, you lazy-ass, some of us have been up since before dawn." Sam sounded far too well rested for my still wanting to be asleep brain.

I glanced at the clock on the phone, noting it was all of 0830 then growled, "Some of us didn't go to bed till after dawn."

"How's Rinn?" he asked, ignoring my complaint.

"Well enough to threaten me bodily harm if I woke her again," I offered, as I rolled over and sat up, rubbing the side of my face that did not have a phone against it.

"Good girl," Sam praised sounding honestly proud of her. "Can she actually do that?"

"Uh, let's not find out." I suspected she could if motivated enough, but given she usually held her temper well, I hoped we'd never actually find out. "Everything all right?" There had to be a reason for this call besides annoying me into an unwelcome consciousness.

"Oh, right. Meeting at ten hundred. His majesty would like all of us there."

"Rinn too?" I asked, still sleepy enough to be stupid.

"Not as far as I know. Can't you find her a babysitter or something?"

"I'm going to tell her you said that." A threat to be sure, and Sam recognized it immediately.

"Don't do that. I want her to keep comping me upgrades. I meant if you don't think she should be left alone-"

I started laughing softly and Sam's babbling cut off abruptly. "I'll see how she's feeling. She should be well on the mend by now."

"I hope so. She looked like shit last… the other night."

We were all off a day at this point.

"Where's the meet?"

"Usual place. His majesty will meet us there."

"See you there, Sam." I disconnected and set the phone back on the night stand. I debated rolling over and going back to sleep, but sighed and threw off the covers. Might as well get the day started.

Rinn and Bucky sat next to each other on the couch. Nothing cozy or intimate, just there, him sideways to face her, her tablet in his hand.

"Morning, Steve," she greeted as I came out, dressed for the day.

I nodded. "Buck, we've got a meeting to be at in an hour."

"Debrief?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe? Sam didn't give details. I'm pretty certain it's about the destruction of the building."

"Makes sense. Hopefully they'll have some answers." He shifted his focus to Rinn. "You still haven't answered my question."

She smiled wanly. She looked better, but I could see pain lines still etched about her eyes and lips. The cuts I had noted at the hospital had faded to faint lines and she had removed the half cast that had been on her forearm. The bruising from wrist to elbow still a deep purple that bordered on black, but I knew the nanties couldn't really do anything about it. Any bruising would stay until it faded normally. They could fix the broken vessels, but not remove the excess blood that had already invaded the tissue.

I moved over to her and set a finger under her chin to get her to look up at me. Her eyes were finally dilated evenly, which was a decent sign that the concussion had subsided enough for me to trust her alone for a few hours. "How do you feel?"

"Starved. I'll be eating like crazy for a couple of days to make up for the energy expense."

I glanced at Buck. "Hey, I fed her. Twice. I have no clue where she's putting it, especially when it looks like she's _lost_ weight."

I agreed with his assessment, but understood. To rebuild bone and muscle the nanites had to use something, and because she been unconscious for most of the last thirty-six hours they scavenged from her. Stored fat turned into blood and bone as fast as they could make it. "I'll have food brought up. You should not be doing more than necessary, okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Head still hurts anyway."

She hadn't argued, that could not be good. With care I ran my hand over of the back of her skull where she'd held the ice pack. There was definite swelling, but the bone underneath felt solid and I heard myself sigh in relief.

"Well, you seem to find this normal for her," Bucky grouched, but he glared at her.

I stepped back, caught the glint of mischief in her eyes and made my way to the kitchen to get some breakfast for myself. Well, coffee anyway. "Using the term normal loosely."

"Gee thanks, Steve," she muttered.

"You should be dead," Bucky said to her, waving the tablet about.

Looked like he'd taken Sam's advice and done his homework on her.

"So should you," she pointed out.

"I cheated," he argued. I didn't catch her reaction but Bucky clearly did and jumped on it. "Ah, you did too. That _miracle cure_ never worked for anyone else, so why did it for you?"

I got the coffee brewing and scrounged for something quick to eat. I found bread and a jar of peanut butter and decided protein would do. I toasted a half dozen slices of bread intending to share with Rinn, then texted a request to the local delivery service that had come to know me well. Food for an army would arrive within the hour.

Rinn huffed. "Don't be dense," she told him, "you have all the answers you need right there," she waved at the tablet, "you just need to put the pieces together."

"Maybe I just want you to tell me," he said softly. "Maybe I need you to trust me, just a little."

I turned about in time to see her stiffen. "When did I ever even suggest I didn't?"

Bucky froze, a war of emotions chasing themselves across his face. He had just assumed she hadn't trusted, which probably made sense from his perspective. The Fist of Hydra, The Winter Soldier, his memories and personality scrambled. He didn't trust himself most days, how could he expect others to?

Then that look was back, the desperate one, the one that suggested he needed her to live. He covered it quickly getting a poker face back up, but I still saw it. And Dr. Kin had been killed.

And maybe that had been the point.

Oh. Shit.

With Dr. Kin gone, our chances of sorting this out had just decreased dramatically. Could it have been intentional? Could Dr. Kin have wanted Bucky dependent on someone? What else could have been implanted along with the inability to remember that one word. A word, he'd only half forgotten.

Son of a bitch.

"Rinn, we may have a problem."

"Another one?" she questioned, craning her head to look over at me with a grin. The instant she saw my face it faded.

"Were you working with Dr. Kin the other night?" I asked as the toast popped and I pulled them out to begin slathering on the peanut butter.

"And if I was?"

I saw Bucky stiffen. There could only be one reason the two of them would be working together. The neural mapping. Quite possibly Bucky's neural map to determine the best way to remove the Hydra programming completely.

"I think I know the target."

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

Our little group leaned against the wall in oversized conference room, the seats at the table already filled with others who had been called for this… meeting. The list of the dead and injured had been read. Damages, physical ones anyway tallied, cost of replacement impressively high. There'd been lots of research of varying types in that building, and all that work had gone up in smoke.

Various departments gave their initial reports, but none of them had the answers I wanted. Or, if they did, they had decided to not say them in this forum.

Well, I wanted answers. A friend had been hurt, another could be in danger and that made it personal. When we hit a lull I spoke up.

"Do we know if the initial explosion was accidental or deliberate?"

T'Challa turned to face me, look carefully neutral. "I believe it has been determined to be deliberate. The secondary ones due to damage sustained."

"And the target?" Sam asked, not about to let us lose the momentum here.

"A set of servers on the sixth floor."

"And what data was taken?" I asked.

T'Challa narrowed his eyes at me, as if unhappy I had brought that tidbit of information out into the open. "We don't know with any certainty-"

"Yes, you do," Bucky stated softly.

T'Challa inclined his head ever so slightly.

"They destroyed the servers to hide the fact the data was stolen. Question is who has it now?" I had my theories, but there were far too many players on the field and I had no way of narrowing the choices.

"That is a very good question, indeed, and I have my people working on it." T'Challa clearly did not want to share the details with us. We were not his people, and while he'd granted us sanctuary here, he could revoke it at any time leaving us with no place to go.

Still, I felt it more important to know the truth than hide. "We have learned through a reliable source that certain parties have acquired the technology that had been left at the Hydra base in Siberia." Vague, yes, but he knew what had been at that base.

"As have we," he agreed.

Laurin must have informed his people as well. Made sense, he protected the Winter Soldier, it would be his ass on the line if they went after Bucky here. Instead they'd gone after the data. The data that would let them remove the blocking programming and give them control of one of the most dangerous weapons on the planet. "The data theft-"

"Is deeply concerning and I have my best people working on resolving the situation," T'Challa stated, making it clear by tone alone he no longer wished to discuss the matter, at least not here and now.

I clenched my jaw and let it drop… for now. Dr. Kin had been killed over this data, Rinn could be next, and Bucky's existence potentially hung in the balance. _They_ could control him again and I wouldn't matter if it were Hydra or the Avengers, he would still be nothing more than a puppet dancing to the tugs of the strings tied to him.

I glanced over at Wanda, whose lips were a thin line of worry. She could be in danger as well, her abilities had been instrumental in locking the programming away. Three sessions instead of a dozen to set the hypnotic suggestions. They might very well want her if they were looking to break the programming.

We had some protection thanks to Wakanda, but plainly not enough if they got to Dr. Kin and the data so very easily. How hard would it be to get to one of us?

Granted none of us would be easy to kill, but until now we hadn't been expecting any kind of trouble and we should have. We'd become complacent and settled and permitted others to protect us, and it had cost us. Dearly.

I permitted the meeting to get back on track, but pretty much ignored the rest of it. The four of us huddled together discussing in quiet voices how we would protect ourselves with no money and no resources to call our own. Yes, we had use of Wakandan tech, but I could guarantee it was all monitored to one degree or another.

We needed to figure out where to go from here and soon.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

The apartment was empty when we returned. All four of us, intending to discuss our next move, with Rinn, only to find her gone, bags and all.

"What the hell?" Bucky bitched, as he stalked about the place as if she might be hiding in a closet or something.

The food had been delivered based on the glee in Sam's voice when he opened the fridge. He grabbed beers for all and handed them around. I had the bad feeling we were going to need them.

I pulled out my phone and sent off a text.

_Where the hell are you?_

_Such language._ Came back a moment later. At a guess Nat had told her that story too. Maybe Tony. They both lived to embarrass me when I went all archaic on them. _Hold on, let me check._

I waited impatiently for a response. I figured she'd gone back to her hotel room.

_Over the Mediterranean, apparently. Lovely view._

I had to resist the sudden need to crush the phone in my hand.

"That Rinn?" Sam asked and I nodded.

"Where is she?" Bucky asked, half in anger, half in relief.

I showed him the text and watched him deflate noticeably before downing the entire beer in a long swallow. "Why?" he questioned as he went to get another one. Sam handed it over wordlessly.

"Does she realize she could be in danger?" Wanda asked, and it was a good damn question.

_Answer your phone._ I sent, hoping she'd comply, yelling via text just didn't have the same impact.

I dialed, hit the little video button and a few seconds later her face appeared on the screen. Her tablet, I realized. Her phone had been killed in the same collapse that had destroyed her laptop.

" _What's up?_ " she said far too perky for it to be real.

"Why did you leave? Doc said-"

" _Doc presumed I'm normal. I'm not. And let James figure it out on his own. No helping_."

Behind me Bucky swore and Rinn grinned.

"You're in danger, kiddo," Sam tossed out loud enough for her to hear.

" _Tell me something I don't know. I'm superhero adjacent, I'm always in danger._ " She shook her head at me. " _I have things to do, guys, and I can't get them done there._ "

"Your work with Dr. Kin-"

" _Is on hold till I can reconstruct the data or steal it back from whoever grabbed it._ "

I tried to hide my surprise at her knowing what had been stolen, or that _anything_ had been. How the hell had she figured it out given she'd been unconscious most of the last twenty-four hours. "You can do that here," I argued. "We can protect you here."

She sighed and turned the tablet so that another woman appeared. " _This is K'Tana, she is my bodyguard. I will be just fine._ "

"Bodyguard?" Bucky echoed, surprised, looking over my shoulder at the screen in my hand. "Why'd you do that?"

" _I didn't. T'Challa insisted._ "

"Wait. What? T'Challa knows you left?" I found that hard to believe.

" _Who do you think provided this nifty transport I'm in? Steve, I'm good. I promise, but I need to do this._ "

I paced out onto the balcony, away from everyone else, not liking that she and T'Challa had gone behind my back to do this. Then again she did not answer to me and his majesty most certainly did not either. She'd come at his request, she could just as easily leave on it.

"Rinn, the timing-"

" _Is bad, I know. Look, I'm not an idiot. Something weird is going on with James and I thought it best to remove myself from the equation and hope it allows him to figure it out._ "

Well, at least she had indeed noticed Buck had fixated on her, but that meant I would need to worry more about him now that she had run away. "And if you leaving makes things worse?"

" _How can they get much worse? He either wants to hit me or fuck me,_ " a snort from the bodyguard could be easily heard and Rinn shook her head, look serious, " _but it is in his head. I was not supposed to be the anchor, and the fact that I am..._ "

I sighed heavily. "Yeah. And with Dr. Kin gone we have no idea how to fix it. Could it be because you were the last one to use the trigger words?" That had been the only logical reason I could come up with, but even that didn't feel quite right.

She shrugged. " _Not a clue. We're in uncharted waters here, Steve._ "

"And here there be monsters," I finished the quote.

" _He's not a monster,_ " she argued, tone adamant. " _He's forgotten who he is, but that's all. Look, I programmed my contact info into his phone. He can call me anytime and right now I'm the only one with any clue how to deal with his deprogramming for all the good it'll do him. Completing the work is more important than holding his hand, I'm afraid._ "

Shit. That might be even more important than having the keys to unlock him. Laurin would be a target if those who wanted to control Bucky learned she had the potential to prevent it. Hell, to prevent any others from being created. While I could not see the US government using the torture techniques needed to create another Winter Soldier, others not only could but surely would given the opportunity. And… and they might not even be needed if Wanda could duplicate the programming. Wipe the mind and have her fill it with the command code.

_They_ would be after both girls.

And that _they_ could include the remnants of Hydra.

With her neural mapping technique applied to the mind wipe tech-

I did not want to think about the abuses that could be achieved.

"Rinn, come back, please."

" _Can't, past the halfway point, we wouldn't have enough fuel. I'll say 'hi' to Sharon for you, shall I?_ "

And that told me she was heading to Germany. "Sure," I responded, wondering why she would return there, back to the scene of the crime, so to speak. "The JCTC need you for something?"

" _Ah, no. Not specifically anyway. I, uh, shit_ ," she muttered. " _You guys are all over the Net and they wanted to chat with me about the… incident_."

"What do you mean we are all over the Net?" I asked, sudden confusion and worry settling low into my belly.

" _Video, sweetheart. Lots of them of you guys playing hero the other night. Some from inside the hospital. None of me, thankfully, but Ross knew I was heading to Wakanda so…_ "

I walked back into the living room, everyone watching me expectantly and pretending they had not overhead most of the conversation from the balcony. Bucky looked unhappy, but resigned to the situation.

"Sam, fire up the tablet."

He did so waiting for the why for it.

"Where, Rinn?"

She grinned. " _Google 'superheroes in Wakanda'_."

Sam did so and seconds later whistled. "We're internet famous." He turned the tablet so I could see.

Not good. So not good. Me and Bucky had our faces covered, but Wanda and Sam were each distinctive in their own way. "Well, least they can't say Bucky is here with any certainty."

" _Wait for it,_ " Rinn commented. " _When he goes down he shreds the jacket, remember?_ " She hadn't been there, which meant she'd seen the videos enough to know what they had recorded.

Sam found the one in question. "She's right, Cap. New arm, but it won't be hard for anyone to figure out it's Barnes."

"That leaves only you unidentified." Wanda waved at in my direction.

" _Nope. Like I said there's hospital vid. Clear face shots of both of you._ "

"Son of a bitch," Bucky groused, looking as thrilled about it as I felt. We would need to leave, and soon, to prevent pressure from being placed on T'Challa in specific and Wakanda in general to turn us over.

" _Jeez, guys, calm down. The responses have been nothing but positive if you'll read them. No way these would have gotten out if His Majesty hadn't wanted them to._ "

"Is he trying to chase us away?" Bucky complained bitterly. "He could have just asked."

"No," Wanda said, headed tipped slightly to the side. "He is on our side in this. Wants the world to see they still need us." She looked me in the eye. "To remind us that we should be out there saving people and not here hiding."

"Do you want that? To be out there saving people? Risking your life for others and the potential of being sent back to the Raft?" Might as well take the opportunity while it had been given to me. I met each of their eyes in turn and not a single one turned away.

Sam shrugged. "You'd just break us out again."

Wanda nodded in agreement.

Bucky, I could tell, thought we were idiots, but nodded. "Might as well prove that Bucky Barnes is not The Winter Soldier."

" _Woot_ ," Rinn cheered. " _Now go watch the international news. Wakanda wasn't the only location to have a surprise explosions two nights ago. Seems it was a coordinated attack on dozens of servers all over the world. Sounds like you guys have work to do_."

I met her eyes over the intervening miles. "If we need help? Of the technical type?" I did not want her fighting on the front lines and she did not want to be there.

She grinned. " _I wondered how long it would take you to ask. Have T'Challa show you the studio_."

"The what?" I probably looked like an idiot.

She laughed. " _Just do it. You'll be pleasantly surprised. Have fun guys._ " And with that the screen went dark.

"Glad she's on our side," Sam muttered, watching something else now. "She's right, and those attacks all occurred at the same time. Who the hell has access to that many different servers around the world."

"Looks like maybe we should find out," Bucky suggested.

I nodded in agreement.

We had work to do.


	10. Chapter 10

The package sat on the counter like an unexploded IED. It had been delivered by courier, I'd signed for it and then ignored it for the rest of the afternoon. I had more important things to do than open packages with no return address.

Or maybe I just didn't want to know what lay within.

So after finally getting the program up and running to compare data sets from the dozen plus servers that had been attacked to figure out if there were any commonality, including visitors - getting the security videos had been a bitch, but we'd pulled it off - in the thefts. For theft had been the main goal.

Once the program was running I had no more excuses. Oh, I could have made more. Gone for a run. Checked in with Bucky who'd been working on gear for us. The armour we'd been using adequate, but wanting better, especially for the mere mortal members of our party. We could still be shot too and it hurts, we just didn't suffer as badly and could power through more damage than most.

The specs he'd worked up impressive to say the least, and we'd all given our own opinions and needs and he worked on incorporating them while still making certain we'd be protected. T'Challa's R&D people were having massive amounts of fun playing with the toys he'd come up with. He'd been dangerous back during the war, the additional skills Hydra had given him made him deadly indeed.

Plus, Bucky needed to keep busy. Needed the distraction to keep from brooding over… things. Things which he kept insisting did not include Laurin.

WIth a sigh I went over to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water and picked up the package, just a padded manila envelope reminiscent of the box I'd sent to Tony to make amends. Or at least keep the offer of friendship open. We hadn't heard from him, but I knew it had been a long shot. He would have to forgive first and enough time hadn't passed for the pain of that wound to ease.

And no disaster great enough had occurred for him to back down and ask for help.

I ripped the end open and tipped the contents onto the counter. A cell phone and a sheet of paper.

I opened it the paper and read: _If you don't use this I will be forced to far more drastic measures. And trust me when I say you don't want that. - Laurin_

I snorted and turned the phone on. Going to the contacts I found only one listing: Agent 13.

Sharon.

I stumbled back over to the sofa and sat down hard.

Rinn, the little smartass had arranged a way for me to contact Sharon on the sly. Bets she had provided a pair to this phone to her with a similar note attached. The woman was a fricking steamroller and knew how to get her way.

With more than a touch of trepidation I texted, _Hey,_ without expecting an immediate response. She would most likely be at work and unable to take the time for the likes of me.

I had a momentary concern that Sharon or those at the JCTC could use this phone to track me, not that it hadn't been made obvious where the hell I had been hiding thanks to the last few weeks and the videos that had gone from the Net to the nightly news.

T'Challa had been playing it close to the vest, had admitted to nothing to the UN, and diverted my questions about it. He assured me of his continued protection with no strings attached. Perhaps understanding we had the best chance of finding those who had killed his people and hundreds of others. The hunt for the Winter Soldier had gone global, but the hunters varied form the those who wanted to arrest him to those who would only use him. No one wanted the latter.

But then I let the worry go, Rinn had probably modded the hell out of the phones to prevent tracking and hacking to protect both me _and_ Sharon.

_Hey,_ came the response less than five minutes later making me sigh in relief and my heart pound in unexpected excitement. Damn, I still wanted this. _Your friend is a pain in the ass._

I laughed aloud. _Yeah, she's pretty amazing._ And she really was. After all the shit that had gone on as of late, and she still made certain I had what I needed, even if I hadn't realized until this very moment. I _needed_ Sharon in my life and while shutting her out to protect her had been the right, the only choice, it hadn't made me very happy.

I'd sacrificed so much in the last few years that I kind of wanted to be a bit selfish for a few minutes, have something for myself for once. I'd gotten Bucky back, time to see if I could have more in my personal life.

_Yeah, she is. Look, I'm at work right now. Can I call you later? 2100 my time?_

A call? Hear her voice for the first time in months? _Sure. Talk to you then._

_Later._

I set the phone down on the coffee table and just stared at it for several minutes. I had a date, of sorts, with Sharon later tonight. I hadn't felt this nervous since sitting in a car talking to Peggy on the way to being injected with the serum.

Sadly, I still had no idea how to talk to women so I could only hope I wouldn't screw this up too badly.

I grabbed my phone and sent a text off to the cause of this new problem. _I hate you._

_No you don't._ Came back seconds later, as if she knew that I had already used the phone to contact my… my girlfriend. At least I hoped she was still my girlfriend. Hoped I might still have a chance with her even though we were technically on opposite sides in this war.

_Maybe only a little. Thank you._

_Welcome. You better make this work, you idiot._

I chuckled softly. Rinn's fondness for calling me an idiot had not diminished in all the years I had known her. _Yes, ma'am. You visiting any time soon?_

_Probably not. Have a mess to deal with stateside._

Oh, that couldn't be good. _Can we help?_

_Nope. I'm fine, promise. How's the studio working out for you?_

The studio, such a misnomer, had turned out to be a server hub she'd set up, with T'Challa's knowledge for me and my team to use when we got off our asses and decided to get back to the job of being heros. Even Bucky had been impressed, Sam had damn near cried tears of joy. The data mining program one of the best he had ever seen and he'd seen his fair share. All the algorithms written or improved by Rinn. Thanks to her family connections she had access to some serious military tech and plus friends in high places like Tony who had chosen to ask no questions when she wanted to upgrade some servers. The system was no JARVIS, but still exceptionally adaptable, with a voice interface that even tech challenged schmucks like me and Bucky could use with ease.

_It's perfect._

_Of course it is. I've got to go. Say hi to Sharon when she calls._

I could practically hear the laughter bubbling up from her, wherever she might currently be.

_I will. Take care._

_You too._

I set the phone down wondering how I would kill time until Sharon called tonight.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

My phone vibrated in my pocket as we packed up the quinjet. I pulled it out, noting the smudge of blood on the screen. Last few days hadn't been much fun, but we'd gotten the job done and looked forward to getting back to Wakanda and pretending to be human beings again for a while.

Before the next disaster happened.

Or the next bit of intel sent us off trying to find out who had stolen the server data.

We needed a break, but I doubted we would get more than a day or two before haring off to play hero again.

_I'm en route to your location can you wait an hour?_

The text from Laurin, which kinda surprised me as our communication had been limited the last few weeks. I'd been holding a grudge for her leaving even though she'd go to all the effort of making certain. Sharon and I could communicate without risking her career or my freedom.

_Why?_ I sent back, really wanting my bed and a shower. I glanced over at everyone else, who looked even more worn than I felt. Wanda all but asleep on her feet at this point even though I had made certain she and Sam had gotten sleep, no matter how hard they'd fought it. Me and Buck didn't need much sleep, the serum negating the need overall. We didn't _need_ to sleep, but we did as a matter of course.

Old habits die hard.

And sometimes there were just too many hours in a day, the blessed call of Morpheus giving us a respite from the real world.

Not that nightmares, more Bucky than me these days, thankfully, made the draw of sleep one we yearned for.

But even we could only train for so many hours without growing insanely bored.

_I need a favor and wanted to ask in person._

I sighed. Laurin rarely asked for anything, so if she chosen to it had to be major.

_An hour. No more. We're exhausted._

_Thank you._

I tucked the phone back in my pocket, the blood still there, and went back to hoisting equipment while Buck made sure the quinjet hadn't been damaged too badly. Real repairs would need to wait until back in Wakanda, but he had assured me it would get us there.

 

* * *

 

 

Rinn arrived with little fanfare. A dark sedan pulled up a few yards away and sat there engine rumbling for several minutes.

"Cap, we expecting somebody?"

I hadn't bothered telling them anyone would be arriving, never mind who, as it didn't seem to be of great importance. I doubted they would care given I didn't seem to.

So when the car door opened and Laurin stepped out, I stood frozen in shock when Bucky dropped from the wing of the quinjet with a whoop and rushed past me.

He came to halt in front of Laurin, his hands coming up to cup her cheeks, forehead resting against hers. And she appeared completely unconcerned by it; one of her hands settling on his hip, the other curling about the wrist of his left arm, eyes closing and a tiny smile gracing her lips.

_What the hell?_

Wanda stepped up beside me, clearly taking note of the confusion probably written all over my face. "They have been… talking, for lack of a better term. Email, texts, mostly; the occasional phone call." She looked up at me. "You did not know?"

"Not a clue," I told her. I mean, Buck practically lived on that damn smart phone these days, headphones Rinn had sent him on, usually with music pounding away as he went through his daily routine. He'd been better, calmer and more centered, but I hadn't thought it through as to why.

"You thought she had abandoned him," Wanda stated.

I shook my head. No, I thought she had abandoned all of us. "You've been talking to her too." Obvious in retrospect and the scene playing out before us.

"Of course. She… there are few I feel comfortable talking to. Rinn _listens_."

Yes, she did. Without judgement and offering up advice only when asked. She knew what to keep to herself and did it with a grace that had earned her a place at the Tower.

"Get a room you two," Sam grumbled more than loud enough for them to hear.

Bucky shot a glare over his shoulder while Rinn grinned then patted the fearsome Winter Soldier on the cheek, easing his irritation with the simple touch. Then she leaned forward and said something into his ear.

He threw his head back and laughed.

Really laughed.

Something I had only seen maybe a handful of times since he'd been awoken from cryo sleep.

When the hell had this happened?

He hadn't said a damn thing to me in the weeks she'd been gone. Other than commenting on the music she had sent him. I'd joined in a few times when he'd been blasting it during workout sessions and had to admit it wasn't horrible. Just not what I preferred. Of course what I preferred could be considered more than a touch outdated. I didn't hate today's music, not at all, but when alone I needed a reminder of where I had come from and often listened to the music of my youth.

Which is why Rin had come up with a mix she'd titled "For When Steve's Being a Putz" the music an odd combo of classic I loved and modern dance beats. I don't know who had taken the time to work on it, it could have been her, I hadn't had the courage to ask, especially after hearing the one that had used the song the girls had sung when I'd been hawking bonds and doing tours back in the day.

Bucky had laughed then too. So hard he'd ended up sitting on the floor, tears running down his cheeks while I had blushed deep red in embarrassment. It had led to an energetic workout session, but I had kind of wanted to kill her.

Yet, at the same time, I got it. _She_ got it. Understood that part of me would never adapt to today, possibly ever. So she gave me a happy medium. A compromise that would let me have my cake and eat it too.

Little wonder Bucky had gone and fallen for her. In another time I could have as well.

Side-effect of the deprogramming or not, it had become clear he needed her to make some part of him feel whole and if she didn't mind that, who was I to get in the way.

That said, I had no way of knowing if she had simply decided to deal with the situation the best she could or actually had feelings for my friend, and now was so not the time to ask.

Rinn and Buck separated, K'Tana exited the car and leaned back against it, looking like a long, lean jungle cat, waiting patiently.

Rinn strode over to stand before me and without a word pulled me into a hug. After a second of stunned confusion I returned it, my hold firm about her, head tipping down to rest on her shoulder somehow knowing that she not only could but would support my weight for as long as I needed her to.

I let go of the anger and resentment that had been simmering beneath the surface. She hadn't run away from us or the uncomfortable situation that had developed, not really. She had a life and work and had simply gone to do that.

Of course how many times had I told myself that only to end up fuming silently at her lack of presence in the here and now.

She stepped back, brushing nonexistent hair off my forehead and said, "Idiot," softly, causing me to smile.

"Least I'm consistent," I muttered.

"Hey, how about sharing the wealth there, kiddo?" Sam whined, spreading his arms wide for his own hug.

"Dunno, thought I was supposed to get a room," she grumped, the irritation all feigned, "with him." She hooked a thumb over a Bucky, whose cheeks pinked at the commentary this time.

Christ, when the hell had this escalated from fixation to actual interest?

"Aww, c'mon, it was all in good fun, I swear." Sam managed to look appropriately chastised and she relented, granting him a hug at least as needed as my own. She gave Wanda one as well, the quick discussion in Sokovian erasing some of the sadness that had been lingering in Wanda's eyes.

I watched Bucky, whose eyes had not left Rinn for one second. "You okay?"

He glanced over at me an instant of guilt on his face before he ducked his head. "Good, just glad to see her. What's going on anyway? This is kinda of out of her way."

Very true, given she lived outside L.A. still. I knew she traveled a lot, but this seemed a bit off the beaten path even for her. "You said you needed a favor?" I prompted.

She broke off the three way discussion with Wanda and Sam that had been in at least two different languages and turned to face me. "I do. Wanted to offer to a meal and place to crash as well."

"A bribe?" Sam asked and she shrugged.

"You guys look like you need a day or two off, I can provide more than adequate accommodations."

I could see something in her eyes. "What else, Rinn?"

"A job offer."

"Aren't you working enough already," Bucky complained. Apparently he'd been getting an earful of her adventures while I'd been shutting her out.

She laughed. "I'm offering you guys a job."

"Us? Why? What?" I hoped I didn't look as confused as I sounded, but Laurin knew me well enough to see through it either way.

"Quinjet working well enough?"

Bucky nodded. "Most of the damage is superficial. She'll get us home."

"Give me a day. I… I've missed you guys." She looked at me as she said that, but I wouldn't drag them further away from their beds without asking them first.

"Well?" I asked glancing at each in turn.

"Not like we have any place to be and if there's another emergency leaving from wherever she's taking us shouldn't be a problem." Sam summed up, getting nods of agreement from Bucky and Wanda.

"Looks like you've got us for the day."

"Cool." She looked over to K'Tana and nodded. The bodyguard got in the car, which drove off a few moments later leaving Rinn with us. "They're picking up a few things for me and will join us later." She scanned the area, the Red Cross tents nearby and the displaced families gathered around it. "Bad?" she asked softly.

"Could have been worse," Bucky told her.

"Tony?"

"Another no show. Apparently natural disasters do not require superheros according to the council." I did not like that at all. Our help had been welcome, but we we could have used more. A lot more.

"Christ," she muttered then shook the mood off. "Shall we?" she gestured at the quinjet.

"Where to? Unless you were planning on flying, of course," Bucky led the way and we all trailed after, wondering what she had up her sleeve this time.

"I could, you know. I did the sim for this model personally." She rattled off the coordinates and settled into the co-pilot's seat next to Bucky, who had us in the air before the rear door had shut completely. She spun the chair about, watching me. "So, I've had to move my business out of the US."

I sighed heavily and shot a look at Bucky, who gave a tiny shake of his head suggesting he had not known about this any more than I had. He'd been the one to pick up on something being off in her life the last time she'd been in Wakanda, but she clearly hadn't shared with the class before now.

"Why?" Wanda asked for all of us.

Rinn's face went curiously blank. "Time for a change."

The quinjet now on autopilot, Bucky turned about and flicked her arm with his left hand, which probably hurt like the dickens.

"Ow," she complained, rubbing the spot. "I do bruise you know."

"I know." He settled deeper into the chair watching her with narrowed eyes. He held up his hand, threatening to flick her again.

She glared at the appendage and muttered something in Russian to which Bucky responded in kind. I caught one word in three, trying not to be amused at the lively discourse taking place before me. I looked across the quinjet at Sam and Wanda who appeared to be both amused and irritated. We all wanted to know why she'd stolen us and, no matter how cute the two of them were behaving, though the tone had begun to turn angry on Rinn's part at least, the time had come to get actual answers.

"Laurin, what is going on?"

She finished her sentence then turned to me with a frown. "The building Cyko lived in was family owned and since they have chosen to discontinue our relationship I've been forced to go elsewhere."

I took a moment to work through her words, the ones that clearly meant something other than what she had actually said. "Wait? Are you saying your family disowned you? Over me?"

That… that would hurt her. Close would not be an adequate adjective to describe her relationship with her family. She'd met Tony because she had wanted to figure out what had killed her father and brother. The creation of the sim for the fighter jet an excuse to recreate the computer glitch that had taken the two of them from her. Tony had flipped his shit afterwards according to the stories I had heard and would have blasted her into the next century except she'd gone in with a plan and a fair idea how to get out of the situation. Recreating the glitch, fixing it and getting it all under sim.

Once he'd gotten over his anger he'd taken her to dinner, which had begun the rather interesting relationship they now had.

But it had all been done for family.

And her decision to back me and mine over the government's insistence on the Accords had torn her away from them. Little wonder she'd been upset last time she'd been to Wakanda. She'd probably been dealing with being disowned as well as disrupting her entire life. She had employees to think about as well. Their lives about to be uprooted at the best, jobs lost at the worst.

And yet the first thing she'd done was hug me. Knowing that I had damn near twisted her life into an unrecognizable shape.

And she wanted my help?

I began to think I wasn't the only idiot. It seemed every time we crossed paths some part of her life fell apart.

She needed to get as far away from us as possible if she wanted any chance of living her life the way she wished.

"No, not over you. Over my decision to no longer to run sims for the government." She shrugged. "I suspect they were… encouraged to do so, but the end result is the same."

"Shit," Sam muttered with a shake of his head. "Sorry, kid."

"Thanks, but it has put me in a bit of a bind, thus my favor."

We all waited expectantly and she didn't keep us in a holding pattern for long.

"I need help moving my servers."

Okay, not quite what I had expected. "Uh, we're not techs or movers. I'm certain you can hire professionals that'll get the job done a hell of a lot better."

She settled deeper into the seat, but didn't look the least bit comfortable. More troubled than anything. "I have. Three different companies all with top notch reps. Hell, last one Tony recommended to me, and had equipment go missing _every single_ _time_." She ground her teeth in clear frustration. "Always turned up later, supposedly misplaced en route." She added air quotes for the last three words.

"Maybe that's all it was," Wanda suggested, but even I could tell she didn't believe her own words.

"Once, yes, maybe," Bucky put in, "but three times? No, that's someone working against you."

"Then why'd the stuff reappear?" I asked, finding it suspicious as well. Her tech unique and not something she shared with others. Not even the government could update her sims without her and her proprietary tech. With her telling them no, they're options for training sims became limited. Hammer Tech and Stark Industries, if Tony were even willing to do them again.

"Because they were secondary servers, not my main ones and did not have the data they wanted on them. No point in keeping them, I suppose."

"And now you're needing to transport the real deal and don't want them going AWOL," Sam summed up.

"Yeah. Only times I didn't lose equipment is when I was there with it. Trouble is this time it's too big. I'm looking at co-opting a C-130 cargo plane."

"You can do that?" Wanda asked.

"Throw enough money at something and eventually someone will blink. My military contacts might be cut off, but where there's a checkbook there's a way." She sighed heavily. "I know it'll be a pain in the ass, but I can't let them get my servers."

"You can't just replace them?" I suggested, and watched her eyes fall. They were just machines. The real data all in her amazing mind. Yeah, it'd be a pain in the ass to redo all the work, but it wasn't impossible by any stretch of the imagination.

"Steve, it's more than that. These servers… there's nothing else like them in the world. The mods I've made…" She shook her head. "No one has tech like this, trust me on that one. Even Tony was impressed. But if the government gets their paws on my proprietary hardware?" Her look hardened. "No. I won't have that. There's a reason my games are so damn realistic and… and…" She closed her mouth with a snap. "Look, if you don't want to get involved that's fine. It'll be risky enough, given I'll be dragging all of you back to SoCal to do this, I just…. I drew that line in the sand, I _can't_ back down now."

And that got to me. Reminding me of the speech Sharon had given at Peggy's funeral, ending with the "no, you move." I had never intended to tell Rinn no, I simply wanted to understand why us, why the equipment had such importance when I knew she could just wipe them and begin over with probably no more than a six month delay. There must be something more to her system, an algorithm, or unique code she had created that made her company one of the best in the world when it came to reality-based games and simulations.

She'd put her company, her employees livelihoods, her relationship with her family on the line for us. Least I could do was stand by her in return.

"Laurin, I'm in even if they aren't," Sam told her without an ounce of doubt in his voice.

"We're all in," I assured her, certain of the answers the other two would give.

The tension in her shoulders drained away, most of it anyway. "Thank you," she responded with heartfelt sincerity. Bucky reached out, set a hand on her forearm and squeezed gently. I doubted he could tell her no on anything at this point, but I suspected she would not abuse that privilege.

She never had in the past.

A soft beeping came from the front and Bucky spun about to deal with it. "Approaching coordinates." He looked sideways at Rinn. "You've got to be kidding me."

She grinned. "Nope. Signed the papers a month ago."

I stood and moved forward to look over Bucky's shoulder, my eyes going wide at the sight laid out before me. "You bought a castle?"

"Leased for nigh unto eternity would be more accurate, but yeah I am now the proud owner of a castle."

"Okay, this story I gotta hear," Sam muttered shaking his head at her.

"I made a deal. Some sim work for an extended lease. Easy peasy."

Well, that turned out to be an awfully short story.

"Sim work? What the hell does the Austrian Military want sims for?" Bucky questioned as he maneuvered us closer. "Where do I park this crate?"

"Uh, beach should be big enough and the walk isn't too bad," she told him, waving lazily off to the left.

The beach on the edge of a huge lake that spanned at least a mile across, the water a deep blue this time of the day and smooth as glass, not a breeze to be had. A road wound around the edge that led to the lower section of the castle proper, the rest nothing but beach and trees, a proper valley in the mountains. The castle built into the side of a mountain that stuck out into the lake, so that one side had nothing but amazing views of the calm water and wilderness.

"Sims aren't for the military," Rinn offered up as the quinjet settled onto the sand.

"Then for who?" Sam asked, just as curious and confused as the rest of us.

Rinn stood up, arms stretching to press against the ceiling overhead. "Tourism board."

Bucky sputtered in laughter. "What?"

"Yup." She nodded. "I'm gonna create some uber detailed sims of various national monuments, and the countryside, and the cities, the whole nine yards. They figure if they can get people interested with some really, really pretty pictures they'll lure peeps to actually come here and spend some money. I mean, the country is beautiful as hell, but not where, Americans especially, think to take a vacation. It'll take a year to record all the video needed, but I'll have samples ready in about two months."

"And for that they gave you a castle?" Wanda questioned, looking as tired as she sounded.

"Well, I do pay for the privilege of living here, at a cut rate admittedly, but…" She shrugged.

"They also get to crow that Cyko Industries is now based here. I'd ask how your stock is doing, but I'm pretty certain you are still privately owned." Sam clearly had a far better grasp of the maneuvering needed in this day and age than me and Buck.

"Why not Wakanda?" I asked, certain T'Challa would have been happy to have her. The rear hatch opened and Bucky encouraged us out into the late spring sunshine. The temp had dropped even though the sun had risen higher in the sky, the elevation enough to counter the effects of the sunny day. That water might look beautiful but fair bets it stayed ice cold year round.

"Second choice. He offered me an entire building to play with. State of the art and everything." She led the way up the path towards the imposing stone edifice that loomed above us.

The monument to days gone by had clearly been restored and maintained over the centuries as we headed up a set of stairs to what would be a massive patio on a house, but had been a staging area of some sort for the original owners. The view, when I turned to look, breathtaking to say the least. "So why not there?"

"The Accords," Wanda guessed.

"Not really. Austria signed as well. I just needed to be more centrally located. Half my new clients are in Europe so it'll be easy to maintain the systems." She strode over to a set of french doors that had clearly been added later in the building's life and swung them open, waving us in ahead of her. We stepped into what must be the main floor for the business side of her life. Some of the furniture still covered in plastic, but the set up pretty obvious. I didn't think she had a lot of clients who came to her, but I suppose appearances had to be maintained. The Tower had an entire floor devoted to nothing more than being a showcase for those who might walk in the front door. Granted Tony had been running Stark Industries out of there as well, but even then he'd been far more focused on the Avengers than his actual business.

A man walked through a doorway off to the right, head down, attention on the tablet in his hand.

"Rinn, you're back. Good. I know you said to wait, but I decided to go ahead with the prelim render and…" he trailed off as he lifted his head and realized others were in the room. The hand with the tablet went limp, the piece of tech damn near slipping from his fingers as he stared at us in utter shock.

"David, I think you dropped something," Rinn deadpanned.

David twitched and looked about the floor for the item that didn't exist. Or at least I hadn't actually seen anything fall. "What? What did I drop?"

"Your jaw."

David snickered. "You weren't kidding were you. I mean, I've seen you with Tony Stark, but I guess it never really sank in that you actually know the Avengers."

I winced a bit at that. Avengers something we most definitely no longer were.

"Oh, stop fanboying. They're just people," Rinn admonished, though with a lightness to her voice to ease the sting of the words.

I agreed with her though. We were just people and I found it far easier to be treated as such instead of worshiped as the god some people seemed to think I must be. If so, never had there been a more flawed one.

"Laurin," I prompted before the poor man fled in embarrassment.

"David Redle I want you to meet some friends of mine. Steve, James, Sam and Wanda."

He shook our hands in turn, and upon discovering we did so just like everyone else on the planet, relaxed and managed some pleasantries without his voice squeaking over much.

He suddenly turned to Rinn. "Wait are these guys the security team you want to transport the servers?"

She nodded.

"Oh thank god," he muttered, "maybe the equipment will actually arrive. By the way the Magic 8 Ball finally turned up."

She frowned. "If they broke it I'm gonna sue them until I own them then break 'em up for parts." The anger in her voice a living thing.

Clearly, she had under-exaggerated the situation. Little chance we would say no to her now. "So why trust us?" I asked of David, just curious to understand why he seemed so thrilled we had agreed to step in and assist.

He choked. "You're frickin' Captain America."

I frowned.

"Or you were, anyway. If Steve Rogers can't be trusted then the world truly has gone to hell and I need to spend some time decorating my handbasket."

Bucky laughed at that. "Well, your reputation precedes you as always."

I sighed. Then again it was nice to hear that ordinary people still saw the person I had always been, Accords or no. Of course that brought my thoughts back around to the whole god complex potential. I mean no one really intends to end up being the bad guy. In their reality every single thing they've done had been for a reason that in their minds had always been the _right one._

And yet they end up committing what others saw as atrocities.

Loki a prime example of that.

I seriously doubted he and his ego saw himself as the villain.

Then again neither did I and here I stood, no longer Captain America. No longer that symbol of truth, justice and the American way.

That vaunted American way I had so revered long since destroyed and turned to dust in my opinion.

Still that name, that shield had stood for something that others aspired to and I had dropped it as if it meant _nothing_ for a man who meant _everything._

I'd made my choice and I would stick by it whatever consequences it may bring.

"Hey," Rinn said softly, suddenly at my side, hand on my arm, "you okay?"

I shook my head, a non-answer if ever there could be one. "Tired," I admitted, not lying, but most assuredly not answering the actual question buried under those simple words. The look she gave me indicated we would be having a private chat later, which I debated avoiding for all of five seconds until I realized that wanting to avoid it meant I needed to get something off my chest badly.

"David, stay." The man grinned at her. "I'm gonna get these guys settled and be back in fifteen. I wants to see my precious ASAP."

He laughed and gave her a sloppy salute. "Ma'am, yes, Ma'am."

She shook her head at him, then waved for us to follow her.

We headed towards the actual front of the castle, the grand main entryway only modified enough to indicate a business now resided here with tasteful signage and directions. The original stone and metalwork on full display, sconces and tapestries and antiques that surely cost a small fortune in their proper places. Another sign indicated tours were by appointment only. "Tours? Isn't that risky?"

"Oh hell yes, which is why they've been discontinued. I have to maintain specific areas 'as is', but the rest is mine to play with."

"So you had to make some compromises," Sam pointed out.

"Of course, but this particular castle doesn't have any major significance historically aside from it remaining in the original family until the mid-1950s or so. Last member left it to the government and given the place had been maintained and updated over the centuries…" she shrugged. "It was a bed and breakfast for a while. It just ain't a big tourist spot no matter how pretty the locale."

Up a curving staircase and a long hallway to the right and we found ourselves in a lounge area with a couple chairs about the edges, book shelves, and a huge fireplace that looked as if it might actually still function with a pair of leather sofas parked kitty corner in front of it.

"All right there's three rooms off this lounge, part of the B & B set up. Feel free to shower and change. Yes, I arranged for clothes, nothing fancy, but'll get the job done for now. When you're ready, head back down to the business lobby where we started, food'll be set out for you." Rinn did all this as if she'd done it a thousand times before and I wondered how often she'd done something similar for clients she had been attempting to woo.

"How long have you been planning this?" I asked, realizing there is no way she could have thrown this together in the last couple of hours.

"Planning what?" she asked all in feigned innocence.

"Inviting us to stay here," Wanda filled in for me, her eyes narrowed, even she had glommed onto the fact that Laurin had been far too prepared for our unexpected visit.

"A couple weeks," Rinn admitted. "I was about to call you when the landslide happened, since I knew you'd be heading there, my concerns seemed a touch petty."

"Petty? Last I checked you were our friend, you will always have the right to ask us for help," I told her in no uncertain terms. I could see she wanted to argue so I got there first. "Moot point now, we're here."

She stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at me. "Go get cleaned up. Should I grab a first aid kit?"

"Nah, we're good," Bucky told her. "Hungry, though."

"Your wish is my command," she said with a flourish and glided from the room with a grin on her face.

"Jeez, how many steps ahead does she think?" Bucky asked wandering over to one of the rooms and looking inside.

"As many as she needs," Wanda answered as she moved to a window and looked out. "She wants us to stay here."

"I doubt that," I said, even though I'd gotten the same impression. "It would put her in danger."

"She's already in danger."

I looked over at Sam. "Why do you say that?"

"Cap, she's been forced to leave the US, seek protection from another government just to run her personal business, had her tech stolen… What are the chances it won't escalate once they realize they can't get their greedy paws on the real servers?"

Christ, they could go after her family, go after her. "Let's get cleaned up and see if we'll even be of use to her moving the servers, okay?"

Nods all around, but all of us knew something else must be going on here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, for those of you waiting for me to post another chapter of dancing with the demons, I am so sorry, I wrote myself into a corner and this one started screaming at me to work on it so.... 10k new words and counting.
> 
> I also realized I'd been picturing the wrong quinjet in my head.... damn it. But I'm in too deep to retcon it so it stays.
> 
> And don't ask me what the hell is going on with Bucky, he hasn't told me yet. Though I suspect it will not end well at all.


	11. Chapter 11

She'd lied about the clothes being simple, there'd been everything and anything we could think of from necessities, to workout clothes, to street clothes. Tired as all hell I'd settled for what these day was usually referred to as lounge wear. Comfy loose cotton pants, t-shirt and sweatshirt that I only had half-zipped. All of it fit perfectly.

I'd seen Bucky going through one of the closets and pull out an expensive jacket that reminded me of the one he'd worn during the war, this one a deep red instead of blue and modified so that the sleeves could be removed. He'd held it in his hands for a long moment then put it back on the hanger and returning it to it's place, an oddly sad smile on his face.

There'd been several days worth of clothes for each of us, though how she knew our sizes and preferences I had no real clue. Maybe she'd plotted with T'Challa's people to set all this up. Or Tony maybe. All of us except Bucky had clothes at the Compound. She could have just had some sent here. Instead it looked like she'd gone a on a shopping spree just to show off.

I regretted that thought immediately. The last thing that woman did was show off. No, this was how she proved she cared. Not wanting us to have to ask for anything, and knowing we'd been wearing little more than body armor for days. Comfortable clothes to make us feel welcome and comfortable here. After years of any slight movement causing her severe pain she thrived on comfort and loved to share that with others.

The food she had set out perfect for us, mostly cold cuts and the like, plus lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Sides of every type imaginable and drinks from high end bottled water to alcohol. I walked in to see Sam creating a massive sandwich that he would not be able to get his mouth around, but after days of limited MRE rations, this would be a feast. He'd chosen similar clothes to me, probably for the same reasons.

"Kid puts out a good spread," he observed as he popped a pickle into his mouth, chewing happily.

A few of her employees also filled plates, casting sideways glances at us. Word had clearly spread about the visitors, but none of them seemed to want to be the first one to step over to speak to us. Maybe Rinn had told them to keep their distance though I doubted it.

Then Wanda entered the room, the clothing theme continuing, and all eyes widened at her presence.

Then again, maybe they were simply afraid.

The hushed whispers began in earnest when Bucky walked in a moment later, looking as if he wanted to be anywhere else. His long hair hiding his face, which he kept focused on the ground, the sleeve on his left arm pulled long to hide as much of his hand as possible. We didn't know these people, but I knew Rinn trusted them, considered them friends, if not family. If she had any concerns about us mingling together she would not have us sharing a meal.

Rinn did nothing without a purpose, so there had to be one here as well, I just couldn't see it yet.

Though I did have to wonder where she had gotten herself to. Both Wanda and Bucky looked like they wanted to bolt from the room.

"Mr. Rogers?" a quiet voice asked behind me and I turned to see a young woman decked out in what I had learned to be termed as hipster clothing, including various piercings and a dark gray floppy beanie atop her head.

"Yes?" I towered over her, at least ten inches taller in my bare feet, but she didn't seem the least bit intimidated.

"Damn, you're even more gorgeous in person." She clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes going wide as she realized she'd said that aloud. "Oh, fuck," she muttered.

Sam snorted. "Never fails. Don't worry, he's used to it."

She blushed beet red. "I promised myself I wouldn't do that."

I gave her a smile of complete understanding. She most certainly hadn't been the first person to have that reaction when seeing me in living color and up close. "It's okay, Sam's right, happens all the time."

She blew out a breath and gathered herself. "Not to Rinn it didn't, I bet."

Huh. Oddly enough correct. Laurin had simply nodded to me when introduced then moved on. Granted we'd been in the midst of briefing for a SHIELD mission she'd agreed to help with, but still. "What can I do for you?" Hoping to get back on track and not get lost in a discourse about how Rinn never saw anything other than the person before her.

"Oh, right," she mumbled, flustered. "Rinn's running behind, but should be here in," she checked the fancy watch on her wrist, "fifteen-ish minutes. Been a long week."

That was an interesting comment to drop in front of me. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why has it been a long week?" I watched as my team subtly shifted to listen in on the conversation while having their own and getting food.

"Oh. Just… lots of complications getting set up. I don't think Rinn has slept in her own bed in a month at least. And between missing equipment and blocked Visas she was ready to tear her hair out."

Bucky's head came up and swung about. "What the hell?"

The young lady shrugged. "US is pissed she's leaving. Guess they figured she'd cave once they put pressure on her family. They have no clue how stubborn she is."

"That's not necessarily a good thing," Wanda pointed out as she walked over to a nearby table and set her overfull plate down.

"It is for us. For Cyko. They went after all of us too. Threatened the company. But we stayed, those of us who could, because of Rinn."

"But it's just a gaming company." Sam sounded curious and I had to agree with his statement.

She laughed, though bitterness suffused the sound. " _Just_ a gaming company. Clearly someone doesn't think that if they are willing to rip it apart just to get to her sim servers."

A point, I had to admit. "What else is going on?" I directed her over to the table where the rest of my team had sat down, encouraging her to join us. A young man, dressed all in black including painted nails, set a plate and beer down in front of me and it dawned on me those in this room understood that Rinn had deemed us part of this family. And family takes care of one another. I hadn't even moved to grab a single bite of food so he had done it for me.

I gave him a nod of thanks, grabbed a couple grapes and ate them, my stomach reminding me I did still need fuel to keep going.

She frowned, glancing about the room as if concerned she might be speaking out of turn. "There's been a couple incidents since she came back from the last trip to Wakanda."

"What kind of incidents?" Wanda set her fork down, all her attention on the young woman sitting with us.

"Let's just say it hasn't only been our equipment someone has gone after."

Bucky went breathlessly still, enough that I could feel the tension oozing off him from across the table. Sam must have sensed it too since he cast a worried glance at Bucky then me.

Yeah, that programming glitch remained in full effect. I had suspected the _protect me_ command she had given him that first time she'd activated the Winter Soldier still lay there beneath the surface. He had control for the most part, but hearing she'd been in danger… well, I didn't care for it either, especially when it could involve us. I know she had intended to figure out what exactly had been stolen from those servers, not only in Wakanda, but around the world, I… we had not inquired into it for reasons that seemed stupid now.

We'd been working it from our end, with limited success, but hadn't been sharing information really. I guess I just assumed since she had arranged the studio for us that she had the same info and more. Then again if she'd been focused on moving her business she might not have done anything about the server thefts.

God damn it. We really needed to stop keeping secrets from each other. Especially ones that could put the other into serious danger.

"You're saying she's been attacked?" Bucky choked out, face going pale.

"Oh no. Not exactly, anyway. Just some odd incidents that her bodyguard took exception to. But if she's dead or incapacitated they could probably justify taking the servers. Or, you know, if they grab her all that info is in her head. I mean, if they can put data in," she nodded in Bucky's direction, "I imagine they can figure out how to get stuff out."

"Put stuff in?" Sam asked looking from the girl to Bucky and back again.

He frowned deeply. "That is not something anyone knows."

"And she doesn't _know_ , but she made a logical assumption. Is she wrong?" She met Bucky's eyes without flinching.

"Can I plead the fifth?" he requested, attempting a smile. He failed. Something more akin to a pained grimace on his face. He still did not like talking about what had been done to him, what he had been made to do.

She wisely didn't push, his non-answer clearly enough to satisfy her.

If what Laurin suspected might be true, that Hydra implanted skills into Bucky, then that would be of grave importance to all of us. We knew who had taken the mind wipe machine, if it could do the opposite as well… I ran a shaky hand over my face, not wanting to think about that.

They didn't want her simulation tech, they wanted her neural mapping technique.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath.

She stood. "Rinn'll probably be pissed I told you, but she has no one else she can trust at this point. Not to protect her, anyway, and she's too stubborn to tell you herself."

"Why not?" Bucky asked, the concern in his eyes a palpable thing. I imagined mine looked similar. Rinn had come back into my life of her own free will and we'd gone and fucked it up for her.

"Because you have enough on your plate without worrying about me."

Rinn didn't look angry, but there was a tension to her that I could see, her eyes boring into the young woman who might not have a job after today.

"Rinn," I tried, hoping to intervene on her behalf.

She ignored me. "Hattie, we'll talk later."

Hattie, lifted her chin, defiance in her posture. "They're your friends and deserved to know you've been putting yourself at risk."

Rinn tipped her head to the side slightly. "Perhaps, but it wasn't your place to tell them."

"Kiddo, it kinda is. Without you she loses her job and a boss she plainly cares about." Sam's attempt to diffuse the situation went over like a ton of lead bricks.

I watched Rinn's hands ball into fists, knuckles turning white.

"Laurin, let it go. Please."

The look she shot my way would have withered a lesser man, but I met that glare without flinching, feeling concern not just for Hattie, but for Rinn, who had taken on too much and had only asked for her favor when seemingly backed into a corner. She'd wanted to do all this of on her own without assistance from anyone.

And she'd almost pulled it off.

She gave Hattie a curt nod, who walked away, heading over to her co-workers that had been watching the confrontation with concern. I had no clue what kind of boss Rinn actually was, but her employees cared for _her,_ as a person, before they worried about potentially losing their jobs for doing what they saw as the right thing.

Rinn remained frozen, eyes locked on mine, the green practically glowing with anger. Bucky got up and moved over to her. He glanced at me then leaned in close to whisper words in her ear that she did not react to. He didn't touch her, just kept speaking quietly until she finally turned away from me to glare up at him. They stood there practically nose to nose and, for an instant, I thought for sure Bucky would kiss her, until she snarled something in Russian that made his eyes go wide in reaction.

He took a half step back a look of total consternation on his face. "Not for me. No. I'm not worth it."

She huffed in irritation. "Yes, you are. To him. To them. To me. 'Sides," she gave him a crooked smile, "I promised I'd help. And I keep my promises."

Bucky looked like he either wanted to hit her or run for the hills. Wanda and Sam stared at them as if they had understood what Rinn had said. Wanda maybe, but I was pretty certain Sam had been just as in the dark as me. The vehemence in her voice had been unmistakable and I could only wonder what Bucky had said to her to get her riled up so easily.

Laurin had never doubted him, not for a second, not when it had been the Winter Soldier standing before her, not when he hadn't trusted her, not when he'd pushed her away in frustration, not when he'd been so desperate to touch her and she had no understanding of why. She had defended him at every turn and I couldn't kid myself into believing she'd been clueless as to what he had done while under the control of Hydra.

Knowing her, she had researched everything she could in an effort to come up with the best plan of action to free him from their control. She'd never done things halfway in all the time I'd known her. Little chance she'd start now, even if it did put her in danger.

"Buck, everything okay?"

I felt the growl as much as heard it. "She's being a self-sacrificing fool."

"Hey, I'm right here," she complained.

"I am very aware." His look hard and unforgiving.

He looked like he wanted to say something else, but Sam cleared his throat loudly, dragging all of our attention to him. "I thought we had the logistics of a favor to discuss."

Rinn turned away. I watched as Bucky closed his eyes and swallowed hard. I wanted to ask him what he'd said to her, but worried it had been too personal. Too intimate.

Then he opened his eyes and I wondered if I had ever looked at Sharon with such desperate need.

With a casualness that belied the still tense atmosphere she sat in the seat next to Bucky's empty one and proceeded to steal food from his plate.

He pinched the bridge of his nose with his right hand, ran it through his hair, shoulders slumped down. I could see the conflicting emotions on his face as he tried to fight the impulse stuck in his brain where it came to Rinn. He didn't want this, didn't want to care about her, false emotions or not, did not want to fear losing something he felt he had no right to claim as his own.

He did not yet feel worthy.

Of any of this.

She'd had him laughing not that long ago and now… Now he looked broken.

"This is why I didn't tell you, James." She watched his hunched back, eyes lowering after a few seconds with no response from him. She stood, swiping another chunk of meat from Bucky's plate as she did so. "Sorry I wasted your time," she told us apologetically. "Stay for as long as you wish. I… I have some work to do."

Sam and Wanda shot me matching looks that all but demanded I do something, but Bucky got there first. He shifted in front of her, metal hand on her arm, barely brushing along the skin. "We said we're in."

She shook her head. "I'm asking too much." Still not able to meet his eyes.

"Not a chance, kiddo. From the sound of it we should've butt in a long time ago." Sam had spun about in his seat to watch her. Not about to let her leave with things this unfinished. Last time she had she'd been on a plane to Germany before we'd even been aware she'd planned to leave.

"I can handle this alone," she retorted tartly.

"I know, but you don't have to." My words seemed to have more impact on Buck than Rinn, echoing those he'd originally given to me almost a hundred years ago now. I did not finish it with 'till the end of the line,' but it hung there in the air; a pained look crossing my friend's face. Not because I'd given the words to Rinn, but because of the memories I could see it stirring behind his eyes.

He needed resolution and right now Rinn had the best chance of giving it to him. And because of that I would not be the one stopping her. Assisting, sure, but I would let her pursue this as long as necessary.

Bucky urged her to sit with a gentle if firm hand on her back. She did so with great reluctance, as if regretting coming to us.

"Your people seem to know the best time to retreat." Wanda had leaned back into her chair and nibbled on the slice of melon in her hand. "Apparently they are more aware of your volatile temper than us."

"Mercurial is the word I would have used." I'd seen it before, but it had been a rare thing indeed. Even though they had all but come to blows moments before Rinn shifted, her legs draped across Bucky's thighs as if they belonged there. He gave her a confused look then just accepted it for what it was.

Not that I had any clue what it was. Pretty certain he had no clue either. At a guess she simply felt comfortable with him, disagreement or not. I'd seen similar easy camaraderie between Nat and Clint, but it had taken years to develop, not mere months. It took a few seconds, but Bucky relaxed, and through the clear glass tabletop I watched his left hand drop to rest on her shin, hand sliding back and forth slowly without conscious thought on his part.

He needed the contact.

She gave it to him.

Shit. Why had Tony let her get away? Why had he not insisted she move into the Tower, or better yet the Compound. Her voice of reason might very well have derailed everything that led up to Ultron and the Accords. She, somehow, had become the epitome of the middle ground in the lives of the most volatile and dangerous humans on the planet.

Then again if she had been, she might be dead. Little chance Pierce would not have taken her out of the game. Her influence would have changed the layout of the board far too much and while the fall of SHIELD would still have occurred, it just might have taken a bit longer.

And she would have been removed with prejudice by the man she so calmly sat next to.

Her being out of that dangerous game, the big picture game, had most certainly saved her life. Though I had to wonder why she'd sat out for so long. Why come back now? Granted those three days on the run from SHIELD/Hydra hadn't given me much time to look at the details, but now, in that always perfect 20/20 hindsight we all have been granted with, I saw moves that suggested she might not have been as oblivious as I perceived.

"Who reprogrammed the Insight control keys?"

"Well, that came out of left field," Sam muttered, shooting me a strange look, but I watched Rinn. Rinn, who hadn't even twitched at the question. She grabbed a slice of melon from Bucky's plate, ignoring his grumbled protest, popped it into her mouth, chewed and swallowed, before meeting my eyes.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," she stated, her tone and look oddly flat. A trick I knew she had learned from Nat.

Christ. She'd been neck deep into this whole mess and I hadn't had a clue. "Did Fury drag you in?"

Sam's head snapped about. "Laurin, you have got to be kidding me. You're SHIELD?"

Her nose wrinkled in clear distaste. "No. Never. Not Hydra either if that's your next question. I'm just a gaming programmer."

Bucky snorted in clear derision. "Bullshit." Then something clicked in his head. "Damn, you're lucky they didn't send me after you."

She shrugged. "Insight would have targeted me, but other than that I was no one of importance." She met my eyes. "And it was Maria who recruited me for that. Given their usual resources were cut off, it made sense."

And that's why Maria had used her. She had never really been an actual player, just a consultant, an extra piece that only saw use now and then, that no one would ever look twice at, especially when her contact with the high level assets had been minimal at best. Yes, she called Tony friend, but he'd been so far removed from the events in D.C. that we'd never even talked about it afterwards.

"You were there? In D.C.? Sam squeaked.

"Oh, hell no," she assured him. "Did the programming remotely. Never even left my office. Didn't know the details till after, just like the rest of the world."

"Then why did you help?" Bucky asked, me wanting the answer just as badly.

"She said Steve was in trouble. That's all I needed to know." Like it was nothing. Like she would do it any day of the week. That all I would ever have to do was say the words and she would be there for me.

Just like Bucky a lifetime ago.

No wonder I claimed her as friend.

"What do you need from us?" I would contemplate the ramifications of her being there for me even when I had no clue later. Now we needed to get her house in order, then I'd worry about my own.

"Muscles and scare tactics mostly. I doubt anyone will try anything with the four of you around."

"And if they decide to arrest us?" Wanda asked, the concern a real one if unlikely.

"You just rescued several thousand people from a major landslide with no sign of the _Avengers._ How do you think arresting you will play out on the national news?"

Sam snorted. "They'd look like idiots."

"Exactly. Besides it's not like we'll be announcing your presence. Security team, remember. We'll keep it professional, rental semis for transport to the airport, the whole shebang."

"Who is watching the servers now?" Bucky had glommed onto the flaw I had missed. If Rinn were here, the fox could very well have gotten into the henhouse.

"FRIDAY, in one of Tony's spare suits. Plus a couple of my guys who I trust." She frowned. "I do have a plan, you know."

I had to admit to being impressed. We might not be able to go to Tony, but she could and obviously had. "You trust him?"

She nodded. "I do."

Good enough for me. "Okay. Get the equipment you need rented and we'll do this tomorrow."

"Scratch that," Sam said with a lazy wave of his hand.

"Why?" Rinn asked her head cocked in curiosity.

"Don't need all that stuff. Just us and the quinjet."

"Crap, the quinjet. I need to work on it if we want to go anywhere." Bucky groused.

Rinn patted him on the head and he failed utterly to not look like a lost puppy. "I'm running the diagnostic now. It'll be as close to spec as I can manage in six hours. But why just the quinjet?" she asked of Sam.

"Because we know a guy."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say I'm not certain where this story is heading, but since I have the whole damn thing plotted out... That said the individual scenes aren't necessarily happening the way I originally planned. Stoopit characters thinking they know better than I do how the story should go. And... and I had an entire secondary (tertiary?) story line butt it's way in so while I may end up in the same place, it looks like it's going to be an adventure getting there.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me on this one.
> 
> I have a specific point I want to hit in this one and then I'm going to jump back into Demons for a while.

 

 

I'd given Scott a call and explained our needs, keeping the information vague, just in case, and he'd agreed with little fanfare. So we'd picked him up on the way to Cyko's soon to former L.A. headquarters. Rinn's building had never been anything fancy, big old nondescript warehouse in one of the lesser known industrial areas outside the city proper, not even a sign announcing what company lived within. All done on purpose. The inside thoroughly modern and high tech to the extreme, showcasing all she could do. Least from a gaming standpoint.

I'd been there once before a few years back when it had been brightly lit and bustling with people, not that she had a huge core staff. Less than a dozen people total worked for her when it came to game and sim development. One or two overlapped to the nanobots and neural mapping sections, but for the most part she did those on her own.

This time it had been dark and stripped to the bare walls. Looking abandoned and forlorn. She had a similar look on her face. Losing this place, where she had turned her life around after damn near dying, causing her feel more than a touch lost and empty. She'd come here before anyone had thought there could be a chance she'd survive the genetic disease destroying her body. A distraction from the spectre of death looming in her near future. Special computers built to allow her to use her amazing mind even as her body broke under its own weight.

I knew she had kept them.

As a reminder.

And as proof that she had survived.

I wondered if her family thought she would give up these fanciful pursuits once she'd recovered? Though her dream of following in her father's footsteps had been lost. No way she would have been allowed into the military even recovered, the risk of a relapse keeping her out of those fighter jets she longed to fly.

She'd found away around that loss too.

Little wonder she appeared melancholy, given it would probably be her last time in the building… ever.

She didn't want to leave here. Wanted to continue her work here. But she'd made a choice and I had to admit to feeling pride that she refused to back down no matter the adversity placed before her even while I felt guilt knowing that I had at least been part of the why.

We'd been challenged by FRIDAY, looking intimidating in an all black Iron Man suit. The AI had greeted Rinn with glee in her virtual voice and given her a quick rundown of no less than a dozen attempted incursions that had taken place in the three days Rinn had been in Austria.

Unsuccessful incursions, thankfully.

The server room a quiet hum of power, her two employees in the final stages of powering down the equipment for transport.

Thanks to Scott this would end up being fairly simple.

Shrink 'em, box 'em up and fly 'em back to the castle to be enlarged and turned back on.

Rinn, being the smart girl she was, didn't ask questions, just thanked Scott with a heartfelt sincerity that made the man blush then spend the next couple of hours flirting with her, much to her and my amusement and Bucky's utter dismay.

While possibly serious on Scott's part, Rinn clearly found it nothing more than an amusing distraction while they dealt with the somewhat tedious task of shrinking nearly four dozen sets of servers. Giving as good as she got with the sly innuendo and blatant sexual commentary.

Some of the older ones Scott had stopped and stared at, his mind obviously seeing something the rest of us did not. He excelled at both the mechanical and the technical aspects of computers and definitely no slouch in the brains department. He would cast glances over at Laurin, open his mouth as if to ask a question then stop himself. I saw him do this at least four times before the look in his eyes changed to something akin to greed. His left side of the law mindset had figured out something, but so long as he kept his hands to himself I would not call him on it.

FRIDAY had been banned from the server room at Scott's request - Pym's direct order actually - remaining on alert for possible trouble while they'd been distracted with the work at hand.

Once everything had been reduced in size, Scott, with the assistance of Sam, Wanda, and Rinn's people, worked on getting the equipment packed into the cases we'd brought along to transport them. Chasing Rinn from the room as it became clear she needed the break. The finality of putting the now tiny servers in cases causing something to crumble within her.

Bucky and I followed Rinn as she wandered through the building, fingers trailing along walls or desks that would not be going along for the ride. We ended up on the top floor in an office that had  most likely been hers; the expansive windows overlooking the dark gray Pacific in the distance. She sighed softly.

"Rinn?" Bucky didn't move, but both of us fully aware this had been her home in some ways for many years.

She tossed a plastic smile over her shoulder at us. "Gonna miss surfing every morning."

"You surf?" I asked, surprised. One of those things that had never come up in conversation before.

"SoCal girl. Of course I surf. Closest thing to flying you can get on the water." She turned away from the view. "I'll have to take up skiing again."

"Why not just fly?" Bucky asked, knowing enough of her history to realize that had always been her passion.

"Oh, I do and will, but there's something far more visceral being out there with no armour about you."

"Adrenaline junkie," I accused.

"Always," she agreed. "Most fighter pilots are."

And of course that's what she had planned to be for the majority of her life. I honestly kept forgetting how young she really was. Physically, Bucky and I were only a few years older than her and, even given our lack of shared life experiences, I had always felt a subtle connection with her. She had packed a lot of life into the short time she'd been alive.

FRIDAY stepped into the room staying near the doorway. "The armour is there to protect you."

An oddly personal comment from the AI.

"The body, maybe, but it can't protect the mind… or the heart. And there's a freedom to being without it." She turned back to the windows, hands tucked into the front pockets of her jeans. "Sometimes the armour just gets in the way."

I looked over at Bucky who seemed just as confused by this conversation as me.

"Laur- Miss Cyrelle, you don't have to leave. We can still work this out."

The voice may have been FRIDAY's, but I felt certain someone else spoke through the AI, disguising his voice for my sake.

"Not if it means signing the Accords," she said, still facing away.

The head of the suit tipped down for a long moment with a whir of servos before lifting, the shoulders shifting back as if going to attention. "That would not be necessary. You are not among those Ross and others are looking for."

She stiffened. "Lair," she muttered.

"Rinn?" Bucky questioned, but she silenced him with a slight shift of her head. He'd figured out something odd was going on, but hadn't yet realized that Tony now controlled the suit and was trying to convince her to stay. To not run away. To not help me… us.

She laughed bitterly. "Really? Then who has been stealing my equipment?"

"I don't know," FRIDAY answered, sounding annoyed. "If I knew, don't you think I would have stopped it? Why else would I be helping you?"

Her shoulders dropped slightly and she spun about to watch the eyes of the suit with care. "I know what they are after and I will not let them have it."

"Well, I'm glad one of us does," Tony groused in the voice of FRIDAY.

"Tony-" I tried, getting a huff of irritation and rolled eyes from Laurin.

The suit twisted about, hand coming up with repulsor glowing in the palm. "Don't. Let me go back to pretending neither of you are here and finish this conversation."

"And if I don't." Bucky suddenly looked bigger, as if he had doubled in size as he sidled closer to Rinn, that need to protect her coming to the fore.

"Oh fuck," she muttered. She set a hand on Bucky's shoulder, which got him to relax marginally, but the suit weapon had moved to train on him instead of me, the light glowing brighter and dripping sparks of energy. Rinn shot me a look that encouraged me to stay in place and give her a chance to diffuse the situation without new battle lines being drawn.

She moved to stand in front of the suit, the armed hand directly in front of her heart. Surely able to feel the heat being generated. Tony would have to go through her to get to Bucky. "We had a deal."

It took several minutes, but the repulsor dimmed and the arm lowered. "We still do. I just… I didn't expect them to be here."

"Who else is there? I can't even trust my own family." She pointed at me. "I trust him."

"And him?" The suit nodded towards Bucky, who had stayed in place as if worried moving might get Rinn shot. A concern I shared. Tony wouldn't do it on purpose, but he would react, and Rinn stood in the way.

God damn it. She should not have to put her life on the line for us.

She smiled grimly. "He won't hurt me. He can't."

Tony snorted, high pitched and feminine thanks to the modulation. "You want to bet your life on that?"

It was weird watching the suit react with Tony's mannerisms and FRIDAY's voice.

She shrugged. "I already have."

"Your funeral," he growled, clearly not happy with her decision. Then he set the hand that had been threatening her minutes before on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"

She set her hand atop his. "I won't."

And then Tony was gone, the suit back under the full control of the AI.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

We were halfway back to Austria when Scott realized exactly who sat across from him.

He'd had his phone in his hands, by the sounds I had assumed he'd been playing a game while we chatted or napped to kill time on the flight back.

"Laurin freaking Cyrelle?" he suddenly shouted. "I just shrank the most freaking valuable servers on the freaking planet and put them in freaking bubble wrap?"

Bucky twitched where he'd been dozing next to me, hand shifting to the knife he'd worn on his hip. He'd pulled that red jacket out of the closet and put it on, even though the weather in California had been barely chilly. Rinn had smiled, really smiled, big enough to light up her eyes when he'd appeared with it on.

The leather one she'd gotten for me had cost a small fortune, but that hadn't prevented me from wearing it. All of us looked as if we'd been heading for a photoshoot instead of working as a security team. Which made sense, I supposed, hiding in plain sight and all. Neither Sam nor Wanda had complained either. Granted we'd been a touch spoiled by Tony, little wonder Rinn hadn't skimped, not that she couldn't afford it, but given she'd worn Levi's and a faded Panic at the Disco t-shirt I had to wonder why dress us up.

Maybe it had been more about maintaining an image. What she wore normal for her, but a hired security team, especially after all the trouble she'd been through, would need to look impressive.

Which we most certainly did.

Muscles and scare tactics indeed.

"Ummm, yes?" She lifted her head from the tablet she'd been working on, the dim blue-tinted light of the screen making her face appear paler than usual.

Sam snorted. Taking his turn at piloting, though he did little more than make certain the autopilot didn't suddenly decide to crap out. Rinn had done one hell of a job getting the quinjet back up and running in so short a time. "You just now figuring that out?"

"Well, it's not like she plasters her face on the games. And you guys have been calling her Rinn all freaking day." His eyes wide and voice high pitched, clearly well and truly freaked out.

"That would be her name," Wanda pointed out in a droll tone. "Lau- _rin._ "

"I get it now," he snarked right back. "Tell me you have a sequel planned to The Light in the Garden."

I snorted. I'd been worried for a few seconds there, thinking he do something foolish. I should have known he was simply geeking out over one of the queens in the industry. I'd spent more time dealing with Rinn the sim designer and nanobot expert that I forgot she actually had fans of her games, which, last I checked, remained her main source of income.

Bucky muttered something under his breath, let go of the knife finally and then shifted in a vain attempt to go back to sleep. His eyes closed to half mast, watching Scott who still waited for an answer from Rinn.

"Two more," she confirmed. "Always planned a trilogy for that one. I like the the world building."

Scott bounced in his seat. "Two? Two more? Oh, I think I've died and gone to heaven, which would be a fucking miracle with my record."

"I take it that's a big deal?" Sam asked, having no more clue than I.

I'd played a few of her games, impressed with the realism and the intricacy of the story lines. I could see the attraction, but given I'd fought real aliens I had little need to play adventures involving them, I'd be far more likely to abuse one of her publicly available simulations to learn a new skill.

"A big deal? Garden has won more awards than any other game to date. It not only rewrote the genre, but created an entirely new sub-set."

She lowered the tablet, screen going dark automatically, a sly grin appearing on her face. "Never mind the movie deal."

Scott's eyes went huge and round. "Movie deal?"

She laughed. "Still in the preliminary stages, but yeah."

Scott turned to Wanda. "Pinch me, hard. I think I must be dreaming."

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Bucky muttered under his breath.

Rinn set a hand on his thigh and squeezed. "Oh hush. Let me have my moment in the sun." Then to Scott. "No telling anyone that. We haven't announced it officially yet."

He nodded vigorously, he'd probably agree to sell his first born to her right about now. "Oh god, that'll be at E3 won't it."

"What's an E3?" Sam asked, while Bucky grumbled under his breath some more.

"What's E3? Only the biggest game developer conference on the planet." Scott explained, or so he thought. His response didn't exactly explain anything for most of us. "Oh. Oh. That's when you're gonna announce Garden two and three."

She nodded. "Among other things."

Bucky sighed heavily, turned his head to rest his chin on her shoulder. "You are such a nerd."

"Hopefully, I'm the right nerd for the job," she said softly, causing Buck to tense up unexpectedly. "Go to sleep we're gonna talk geek for a while."

"Too late, 'm awake now." He sat up straighter, resigned to being bored to tears while she and Scott discussed esoteric game theory neither of us would understand a word of.

"You hitting IEEE as well?"

"Maybe? They want me as guest of honor this year. Just haven't decided if I want to go yet."

"Haven't decided… Why not?"

She glanced about the interior of the quinjet. "I'm kind of neck deep in other projects right now."

"Right, 'cause your new nanobot design isn't worth discussing at all. Hank… Dr. Pym talks about your repair mods all the time. I need to get the two of you together." He cocked his head and I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes. "You include an organic matrix, right? That's how they can self-repair?"

She didn't say a word, but the fingers on Bucky's thigh tightened ever so slightly.

"Holy shit, that's how you did it. You have nanobots in you. They must be constantly repairing the damage." Scott looked like the cat that had eaten the canary. "But why not share the tech?"

Bucky sat straight up, head snapping about to look at Rinn who sighed heavily.

"Thanks for spilling those beans," she groused at Scott.

He didn't look the least bit repentant. "What? These guys didn't know?"

Sam chuckled. "That guy didn't know." He pointed at Bucky. "We had bets going as to when he'd figure it out."

I couldn't help the smile, willing to bet on some level Bucky had known the answer and had just been refusing to see it. His tug-o-war of emotions involving Rinn probably assisting in his inability to see the truth.

I could practically hear the gears whirring in his mind as he processed this new knowledge and applied it to the reality that sat next to him, hand on his leg, look of almost concern on her face.

"I did share the tech. Tried to anyway. It didn't work for anyone else. The nanobots I'd accidentally gotten in me a primitive version that only had basic programming parameters."

"Repair self and host," Bucky muttered, putting it together quickly and earning raised eyebrows from Scott.

"And learn. By the time I even realized they were in me they'd already evolved several generations and while I think I know which version I ended up playing host to, I do not know with any certainty."

"And you'd moved on with your designs," I summed up.

She nodded. "That too. None of my 'bots were designed to function within a living host. I have yet to figure out why they did with me. Hell, I've even rebuilt that design and tried to recreate the situation, but with no success. The 'bots _can't_ survive within a living host."

She sighed heavily and fingers curling into Bucky's leg with enough force to wrinkle the heavy material of the denim. "You think I haven't tried to recreate that happy accident? That I don't want to help others? That maybe I could create a painless way to get rid of cancer if I could just figure out why the damn things chose me?"

Scott raised his hands in surrender. Wanda's eyes had gone wide, shocked at the desperation in Laurin's voice.

"Don't you dare think for one minute-"

"Rinn," Bucky said her name so quietly that I barely heard it, but it cut off her budding rant instantly.

She stared stiffly ahead for a long moment then bowed her head. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Scott's mouth opened and closed like a fish a few times before words managed to come out. "Damn, you are passionate about that, aren't you."

She produced a broken laugh from within her depths. "You have no idea."

Bucky set his hand atop hers, fingers twining together in a simple gesture of comfort. "That's why you need these servers."

"That too," she agreed. "All my original research is on there and eventually I will figure out what the hell happened to make it work."

"But they're only designed to repair, right?" Bucky asked, not really seeing anything about him as he processed all the new data he'd been given with amazing speed. Bucky had never been anything other than smart and if his enhancements were even marginally similar to mine, then he'd be not smarter per se, but able to process that much faster, able to take minimal information and understand where it would lead to.

"Well, yes. In major systems they work as a cohesive unit, different 'bots with different specific tasks, but working together as a whole."

"Like a hive," Wanda suggested.

"Kind of? There's no queen directing the colony."

"Sure there is," I stated, "you."

She frowned for a moment. "Again, kind of. I don't spend my days at a computer monitoring all the nanobots I've programmed running around the world. That's handled locally. When the occasional major glitch occurs I get a call, but most are handled on site. Biggest problem I've dealt with was a an electrical surge wiping the 'bots. A' course it also fried major parts of the computer system they were maintaining. Those that survived managed to self modify enough to get the system back up in running and save the data."

"That's not exactly something you can plan for anyway," Sam pointed out.

"Yes and no. They are designed to handle power surges, but this case happened to be extreme. Overall they performed quite well. I've made upgrades since then, but we still run into new problems."

"Can they be hacked?" I asked, thinking about the harm that could be done. Not just to computer systems but to her.

"In theory, yes. In practice? Probably not. And yes I have hired white hats to have a go at them."

"Not me you haven't," Scott told her with a grin. "Though I imagine finding the frequency they communicate on is the first hurdle."

"Huh, maybe you are smarter than you look," Rinn deadpanned, earning sad puppy face from Scott.

"Smart enough that you called me for help, remember." The man damn near pouted, but even I could tell he hadn't really been hurt by her words. He fit in with us remarkably well.

Beside me Bucky tensed up and I realized we'd traveled miles from his simple comment that had led to this segue. I gave him a nudge. "You had a point to make, yes?"

He grumbled for a moment, but Rinn turned to look at him expectantly.

"Well, if all they do is repair then…" He shook his head, changing tracks. "Your other enhancements make no sense. I've see what you can lift when you push yourself. Hell, I've fought you and have a damn good idea exactly how strong you are. Those 'bots shouldn't be affecting your muscles or reaction time or hearing and sight and yet..." He gave her a Vanna White wave of his hand as emphasis.

I mean, he wasn't wrong. It had just been one of those things that we'd never figured out. I recalled having a similar discussion with Tony after I'd seen the tech geek we'd asked to assist fling an attacker into a wall hard enough to break both the wall and the man. So I knew what Rinn would say before the words tumbled out of her mouth.

"The theory is that they are compensating for the extreme usage. Need to lift a car? Correct the damage and fatigue being done as it occurs. No, it's doesn't make any actual sense, and I have no way to prove it, but we have no other explanation."

"Then you should heal instantaneously, but you don't. In fact, they prioritize the damage. Your head injury over the broken arm," Bucky argued and not incorrectly. "There must be another factor."

"And I ain't disagreeing with you. Just saying we don't know what it is. The only X-factor is the experimental treatment I had been given."

"The one that didn't work for anyone else," I said, having read up on it.

"More like the X-factor were your nanobots, kiddo," Sam argued.

" 'Cept I've tried that as well. I can't even get simulations to reproduce the effect. I know I'm weird, but, even using my genetics as the base, this is one experiment I cannot reproduce." She raised her hands in supplication, wanting us to believe she had tried everything, still tried everything in an effort to recreate the effect only to no avail.

"And you can't just share your 'bots?" Wanda asked.

"Nope. They will only function within me. And yes, I've tried any number of times. These ones will only survive within a living host and it has to be me."

"Family members?" I asked, wondering if she'd gone that route.

"Tried it. The 'bots die within minutes."

Well shit. Little wonder she was so passionate about finding that missing link that would let her share the bounty of this tech. If she could… Damn it would turn the medical industry on it's side. And if she could program them to target specific injuries or diseases… I could image a world with every human on the planet having healing nanobots inside them and… and it didn't play out well. We had no idea how far the 'bots in her would take her command to _fix_ things.

Would she grow old?

We knew they only countered the damage, the disease ravaging her system still there, as that one incident when the 'bots had been turned off via an EMP blast wave she'd been caught in had proved. It had taken her and Tony nearly a month to get them turned back on and she'd been damn near bedridden by the end of it. Unable to support her own weight to do something as simple as standing.

I'd been there for her then, been a shoulder to cry on, not that she had done that much, when the outcome began to look seriously bleak and that she might not survive. They'd done it though, figured out a way to reboot the 'bots, which immediately went back to work and, in record, time repaired the damage that had been done while they'd been offline. And they had learned, EMPs would no longer affect them. A damn good thing in my opinion because I had seen her at her lowest, when she'd truly given up all hope and considered taking the easy way out.

None of us had dismissed her feelings, but we also didn't want her to be gone from our lives, so when she couldn't fight any more we'd done it for her.

But after… after she'd taken a step back from SHIELD and us.

Understandable given _consulting_ had damn near killed her and her unwillingness to be seen by the world as something other than human. For the world to brand her as different or enhanced.

She just wanted to live her life without the encumbrances that came with the superhero business. She, unlike Tony, eschewed the limelight. Tony plastered his name on the side of his building in New York. Rinn the exact opposite, not wanting to attract any more attention than necessary.

How they managed to become friends still beyond me, but I could not deny it for a second. Or the friendship we had developed. The easy camaraderie, the intellectual challenge, the comforting hand just when I needed it most.

I watched the easy conversation going on about me, impressed by all of them. Stuck in an untenable situation they still managed to smile and enjoy life in some small measure, at least.

I caught Bucky looking at me. "What?"

His words were interrupted by Rinn reaching across his legs to removed the knife sheathed on his hip. Buck shot her a confused look, but didn't stop her, which seemed pretty odd given how possessive he could be of his personal weaponry. I knew that knife as he'd tried to kill me with it on a few occasions back in DC.

She expertly flipped the knife about in her left hand before slicing the heel of her right. The sharp blade easily splitting the skin, blood instantly welling up and flowing down her wrist as she raised the hand for Scott to see. Mere seconds passed before the blood flow stopped, the wound clearly sealing itself shut as the nanobots did their job as efficiently as they could.

"Hey," Bucky complained, already too late, "no stabbing yourself with my knife." He took it away from her, wiping the minimal blood on jeans and resheathing it.

"What? I didn't bring mine, okay. He wanted a demo." She pointed at Scott who looked utterly fascinated by the demonstration.

I pulled a handkerchief out of an inner pocket and handed it to her.

She gave me a smile and wiped the blood from her hand. Then showed Scott the swiftly fading cut. There wouldn't even be a scar left behind.

"Really?" Sam asked looking at me in stunned amazement. "A handkerchief?"

"It's clean," I argued earning a snort of laughter from Rinn.

"I think he means it's a touch old fashioned," Wanda explained, an amused look on her face as well.

Bucky proceeded to reach into his pocket and pull one out as well, causing Sam to break out into guffaws. "Well, they are both antiques."

That earned a full round of laughter from everyone.

She tucked the bloodied cloth into her pocket and settled back into her seat, head resting against Bucky's shoulder.

"You two… an item?" Scott asked.

Maybe the flirting had been more serious than I realized.

Bucky stiffened. "Uh…"

"As in dating? Not really. He's got a programming glitch that involves me and, being the kind hearted soul that I am, will not fuck with his head more than it already has been by being bitchy about it."

Scott blinked rapidly and tipped his head slightly. "That didn't exactly answer the question."

"Actually it did, if vaguely," I commented. "They needed an anchor to guarantee the programming block would remain in place. Rinn accidentally ended up being the anchor."

Scott nodded, but did not seem to yet understand. "Programming glitch? You mean the Winter Soldier command set? Wasn't that a form of torture conditioning?"

Rinn nodded. "Programming, conditioning. Same thing once in place." She sat up suddenly. "Oh."

Bucky tensed up. "What?"

She shook her head. "I need to make some notes." She freed her hand, grabbed her tablet, attached the keyboard began typing away furiously.

Bucky turned to me. "What the hell?"

Scott answered, "Genius thing. Had a lightbulb moment."

She paused long enough to put on headphones, noise cancelling ones I'd bet even money on, and she was gone. Whatever insight her mind had come up with dragging her away from the here and now of personal interaction.

"So," Scott continued, "you're not dating."

"Aren't you a little old for her?" Bucky sneered.

"So says the man old enough to be her grandfather," Sam said amusedly. "Forget May/December, you two would be March/some month that comes five _after_ December."

That made me wince. Sharon and I in much the same boat. "Sam…" I admonished with tone alone.

He had enough sense to look guilty for a moment, but pressed on. "Besides if she succeeds in getting that programming out of you it'll just go away, right?"

Bucky's jaw tightened visibly. I could all but feel his need to argue the point, instead he simply deflated. "Right. Not like she'd want any part of me if she didn't have to," he muttered.

Without looking away from her tablet, Rinn lifted her right hand from the keyboard and ran her fingers across the back of his left, it probably would have tickled if it had been against skin, but either way Bucky clearly felt it, his fingers splaying wide for a second in reaction. Then she was back to typing furiously, whatever her mind had seen needing to be recorded now. He stared down at his hand for a long moment then shifted it over to her thigh, taking care to not bump the tablet.

How she knew he needed that contact I had no idea, she hadn't even lifted her head to look at him.

And yet she had.

Bucky glanced over at me. "What the hell am I doing?" he asked softly.

"Surviving. And not running, I hope."

He shook his head. "She's right, I don't think I can."

Because running would hurt her and right now he was incapable of that.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter for reasons that will become apparent when I get around to posting the next one.

 

I looked about the expansive rooms that could be mine and sighed softly. We hadn't yet talked about her job offer, but the plan had been left on the counter of the communal kitchen in plain sight, just as she had said.

I had read every word, every bullet point and subsection. And while not a contract, it could very easily lead to one and I had to admit I kind of liked the idea.

The proposal simple on the surface. We, meaning the four of us displaced by the Accords and the need to protect Bucky, would become an entity known as Nomad Security. As such we would handle protecting the various business properties that fell under the Cyko Industries name and its subsidiaries. We would also handle personal security for Rinn and her chosen spokesperson/people at various events they attended. We would also, at Rinn's discretion, be sent to assist, out of the kindness of her heart, when a disaster occurred.

In other words we'd be able to continue doing what we had been, only with legitimate backing, which would make it more difficult for us to be arrested when we showed up to dig people out of the rubble after the next major quake… or bombing.

It would also give us the ability to act on what we found relating to the server hacks and destruction. Since she had been working on it already, and it involved a project she'd been involved with, we'd be doing it in her name. Once again giving us a finger to point the blame at should the excrement hit the rotating blades.

It was exactly what we needed.

I had to wonder how long she'd been planning this and if T'Challa had been a co-conspirator at all. I suspected yes. That once Rinn had come for that job interview things had spiralled, not out of control, so much as perfectly into place. Rinn the solution to the problem we would inevitably become. He could knowingly support Nomad, while still maintaining his status in the UN and with the Accords.

Damn, the man was good.

Now we just needed to make it work.

My room in the Keep comparable to the one I'd had at the Tower, if not as high tech. No JARVIS to ask questions of, though the computer, a Stark Industries model, as high end as you could get and then some. Rinn and her people liked their mods and the need for security damn near demanded it. So the curved monitor on the desk connected to a monster of a computer somewhere below us. Each of the suites set up similarly, simple, basic, if top of the line furniture, which would allow us the freedom to add our own touches and personalize the space.

Sam she'd given the top floor to mostly because the Keep roof would allow him a place to fly from. He had a longer walk to get to the common room, but he would be able to spread his wings whenever he wished.

I'd taken the lowest of the suites, still three stories above ground with amazing views of the lake and valley, with Bucky above me. Wanda above him.

Yes, there may have been some strategic reasons for putting him between me and Wanda, the two most likely to be able to slow him down if the Fist of Hydra stopped by for an unexpected visit.

Not that we'd decided to stay yet, but we would not leave until certain Rinn had her servers back up and running.

I knew it would be soon, which meant I had a day, two at most to bring the proposal to the rest of my team and see if they had any interest in moving here.

Wanda had been right; Rinn wanted us to stay and while part of me wanted to - I would definitely be closer to Sharon - I had concerns, most of which revolved around putting Rinn into more danger by having us here.

We, Bucky especially, were targets and having us here would put not only herself, but her people in the line of fire. Though, from what I had been told by various employees I had spoken to in the last few days they already were and our presence would ease their concerns even with the potential added risks.

Almost everyone I had spoken to had been put into some kind of unexpected danger with outside hired security in the last few months.

Rinn had run out of people to trust.

Which is why she had come to us in the first place.

I picked up the proposal and headed down one level to the common room where the rest of my team had been waiting for me. Sadly the Keep did not have any balconies or outdoor areas to relax other than the roof, but we had access to the rest of the building, so while I kind of wanted to have this discussion outdoors in the bright sunlight I settled for the well lit room we had to ourselves.

Bucky sat off to himself, curled up in an oversized and plushly appointed chair, journal and pen in hand, while Sam and Wanda got themselves something to eat. The kitchen well appointed and stocked to the brim.

"S'up, Cap?" Sam asked around a mouthful of food.

I set the papers down on the counter. "Rinn's job offer."

"Which is?" Wanda quirked one eyebrow in that way that asked about a dozen questions without her needing to say a single word.

I outlined the basics for them. Sam actually setting down his sandwich to pick up the proposal and begin going through it on his own, clearly intrigued.

I watched Bucky out of the corner of my eye, who had set the journal down, but otherwise did nothing other than frown.

When I finished, I looked over to each in turn, both Sam and Wanda curious and seemingly interested, but Bucky unhappy. "So, what do you think?"

"I think she's smarter than she looks," Wanda pointed out.

"No shit," Sam agreed. "There's even a contingency for if we don't want to stay here, in Austria, she'll still back the company for us. I wonder if T'Challa knows about this?"

"He probably helped her draft the initial proposal," Bucky muttered. He got to his feet, pacing the room stiffly.

"She's not expecting an answer today, she's still working on the servers, but what do you guys think?" Scott had appeared after twenty-four hours, exhausted, but eyes bright after all he'd seen while they'd gotten the servers enlarged, wired back up and turned on. He'd fallen on his face not long after and would probably want to go home soon, saying goodnight to his daughter via Skype not the same as doing it in person. He missed her.

"I think I can't decide if she's insane or too smart for her own good," Sam stated handing the papers over to Wanda. "She does realize she's not Tony Stark, right? Can't just put together her own boy band 'cause she feels bad for us."

Wanda snorted as she thumbed through the pages, skimming them.

"And she has no ulterior motives with this?" Bucky questioned, tone as dour as his appearance.

"Aside from protecting herself and employees, I don't believe so. She stuck her neck out for me when she turned her back on the government contracts. Same as all of you did when I chose not to sign the Accords. If this offers her some protection then I'm willing to do it."

"It'll be her they blame if we fuck up again," Sam pointed out.

"No," Wanda argued, "any mistakes we make are our own. That will need to be understood. We won't be able to function if we're worried more about protecting Laurin's reputation over doing our best to save innocents."

"Then we'll make that clear to her," I agreed without hesitation. I'd said nearly the same thing to Tony and still stood by the words. We had to own our mistakes and make reparations where we could. We had with T'Challa, but even I wasn't foolish enough to think we were perfect and that we would never make an error in judgment again. "So, thoughts? Opinions? Yes or no?"

"Yes," Sam said. "We'll need to move the studio here… which is why we have that big empty room in the basement. Sneaky little thing."

"Not so little," Wanda argued with a smile. "Yes for me as well. While I appreciate all T'Challa has done for us, we would not be able to stay for much longer. The UN has been putting pressure on him to turn us over and this will take it out of his hands."

And put it in Rinn's, Wanda didn't say, a person who was _not_ beholden to the rules and orders of that international semi-governing body. Yes, they could apply pressure to her, but more than a few of the countries would then lose a valuable resource as she could withdraw her technical support in an instant. And not just her sims, but the nanobots that maintained large computer systems in dozens of countries. One command from her and they would stop working, and that would not end well. Individual businesses could hire her, but she had government contracts and she would walk away from them in a heartbeat if pushed too hard.

She'd done it with the US, little chance she wouldn't with France, or England, or Spain if they pissed her off.

I turned to Bucky who had ended his pacing at the open windows, the spring breeze filtering in and shifting the curtains ever so slightly.

"No."

I blinked. I hadn't been expecting that response from him. "No? Why?"

He laughed bitterly. "Why the hell do you think?" He placed his left fist against the side of his head.

"Bucky-"

"You don't get it, do you? I'm not him," he thundered, the words echoing dully off the walls of the room.

I stiffened. I glanced over at Wanda and Sam who waited to see how I wanted to handle this. "Go," I told them softly.

They gathered up their snacks and hustled from the room leaving me alone with… I wanted to believe it was my friend standing there, but I couldn't be sure. Sometimes, some days the look in his eyes nothing but the Winter Soldier. Others, the Bucky of old, today… today a stranger stood before me.

"I know that. I do, but I'll admit that most days I feel like that eighteen year old who just lost his mom and everything else in his life except for his best friend."

Bucky sighed heavily. "Those memories are broken. The person they were part of damaged, possibly beyond repair." He snapped a hand at the journal sitting on the end table. "I write down what I remember, but I have no idea if it really happened or if it's just some fantasy conjured up by my broken mind so that I can pretend to have some semblance of humanity left in me."

"Buck-"

He shot a glare at me and I amended my words. "You'd rather I called you James?"

He snorted. "No, Laurin has taken possession of that name." He ran a hand over his face appearing to be utterly exhausted for an instant. "Bucky will do, I guess. I held tight to that for two years after..."

_After the fall of SHIELD._ I leaned back against the counter, even though I wanted to go to him and set a hand on his shoulder as a gesture of camaraderie and friendship, but held still since he currently seemed unsure we were even friends. "You can go back to Wakanda, I'm certain T'Challa will continue to assist with the research if you don't want to be here."

"I know," he said, head tipping down. "But being near you helps. Brings those memories to the surface. Reminds me I wasn't always a monster." He gave me a broken smile.

"Why don't you want to stay then?" I suspected the reason, but I wanted to hear it from him.

He turned back to the window, his face in profile to me. "Being near her is more difficult than I thought it would be."

Rinn, of course. "You've been communicating with her for weeks, why is being here different."

"Because she's _here,_ " he shouted, shaking his head. "I don't know if I can explain it." He pondered in silence for several minutes, biting his bottom lip and he tried to find a way to explain. "Think obsession. And the object of it is now right in front of me. I want to be with her _all the time_. Longing doesn't even come close to being an accurate description any longer. I think I need the distance to keep this from becoming something dangerous to her."

"You wouldn't hurt her." She believed that, no reason I shouldn't.

He shook his head. "Maybe not directly, but what if this deepens into jealousy? What if I start hurting anyone who goes near her because my fucked up brain sees them as a rival? Better to not risk it."

When had it gotten so bad? And how had I managed to miss it? Simple, he'd become very adept at hiding everything. Worried we'd be forced to put him down like a rabid dog if he went off the deep end. The Winter Soldier still there beneath the surface, sometimes not very far, but locked away for the time being. The fact that he recognized he had a problem made me reasonably confident that he could and would control himself around her, but I could understand his point of removing himself from the temptation, much as Rinn had done when she'd left Wakanda.

"Do you like her?"

He froze, going eerily still in the pool of sunlight he stood in. "I can't answer that. I don't know if what I feel is from the programming or if it's real."

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it does," he argued. "If she succeeds and this goes away with it…" He tipped his head down, finding some random spot between his feet disturbingly interesting. "I don't want her to end up hurt."

"Buck, I can promise you she doesn't expect anything other than friendship from you no matter what happens." A bit of a presumption on my part admittedly, but I honestly did not know if Laurin liked Bucky in any other way. She cared, that had become obvious, but more? I had no way of knowing as I had not spoken to her about it. Hadn't thought I needed to until now. "You could, I don't know, talk to her," I suggested in an attempt to lighten the dark and tense atmosphere that had become a study in contrasts to the brightly lit room.

"And tell her what? I need you more than I thought possible, but it might all go away the moment the Hydra programming is gone? No, I won't do that to her. She's too important to the rest of you for me to screw it up."

Well, shit. "Buck... " I had no clue what to say. I wouldn't make him stay if he really did not want to, but I now worried that separating him from Rinn would do more harm than good. "Take her out of the equation."

"What?" he finally looked at me confusion on his features.

"What if it wasn't Rinn making this offer? What if it were T'Challa through dummy corporations? What would your answer be then?"

He frowned, wrinkles forming on his brow as he thought about it. It didn't really matter, though, because I knew how he would answer. "I'd say yes, of course. It's exactly what we need to do this damn job. But it _is_ Rinn. Would you go running back to Stark if he said he'd pulled out of the Accords knowing he still wants me dead?"

Urf. That counted as a shot across the bow with certainty. "No. I can't go back. Too many bridges burned." To the ground. Nothing but cooling ashes left behind.

Bucky nodded once. "I've fucked up your life enough in the last few months. No need to add to it."

I moved to stand beside him, the sunlight blinding for a few seconds till my eyes adjusted. Christ, the view was amazing. I wanted to stay here, damn it, wanted some sort of normalcy after everything, and Bucky _needed_ it. Needed something steady that wouldn't be ripped out from under him, forcing him to run and be alone again. "Buck, we're not gonna leave you."

He shivered. "Thank you," voice tiny and choked up. "I'm tired of being alone."

"Then give it a chance here. If it becomes a problem we can reevaluate. She did offer to put us up elsewhere."

"But you want to be here."

I shrugged. "I feel I owe it to her. And, like she's said, she doesn't have anyone else she can trust."

"Trusting me might not be the wisest decision," Bucky pointed out with ill humor.

"Prove Tony wrong then. You need her, be what she needs."

"And what is that?" he asked, no derision, so snark, just a simple earnest question.

"How about a friend."

He sighed. "I think I can do that."


	14. Chapter 14

They hadn't yet gotten the fires out.

We'd been here for nearly two hours and fires still burned about us. The Gare de Marseille-Saint-Charles, perhaps the most impressive train station on the planet now lay in rubble. A train loaded with passengers had apparently lost control and smashed into the station, which had been filled with rush hour commuters, then proceeded to explode with enough violence to guarantee there had been at least one bomb on board.

When we'd arrived we'd been tasked with dealing with the dozens of derailed train cars. While only one may have come barreling in, several others had already been in place, passengers making their way on or off, depending on their particular needs. Cars had been piled atop one another, three and four deep in some cases. Wanda could move them far faster than they could get the cranes, which would not be able to get near until the rubble had been cleared away.

First we cleared the cars of victims, living and dead. Then moved the cars off to the side and began over again. It had been a messy, maddening task. Survivors few and far between. Bodies being stacked up in a manner far too similar to what we did with the damaged railcars.

The sun would be going down soon, though with the pall of black smoke that had hung over everything there'd not been much light to see with anyway. Lights were being brought in and set up, as we would be working through the night at the very least. I suspected we might be done dawn two days from now if our efforts, those of hundreds who had been called to help, went smoothly.

" _Cap… Rogers… Nomad_ ," Sam sighed heavily, the new call signs still not ingrained in his mind.

"Go ahead," I prompted, as I shifted the damaged door and peered within. The light mounted on my shoulder showing little more than blood splashed liberally about the car.

" _They want our assistance at the main station_."

I heard Sam circle around to land nearby as I stepped further in. If there were survivors I'd be amazed given this car had tumbled violently into others and then had two land atop it. It had remained fairly intact, but the passengers who had not been belted in had been thrown about, and those that had been had been snapped back and forth, held in place by the strip of material across their hips. So many had died of snapped necks, either due to the sudden violent motion or impacting the walls of the car with excessive force.

Women and men who had expected nothing more than a boring trip home from work, just like every other day in their lives.

This car however, as I looked around again, had been filled with children, teens at a guess, all wearing similar clothing, which suggested a school outing of some sort. "They can wait," I choked out, heading to the nearest… I did not want to say body, not yet. Not until certain that no life existed behind those eyes that stared unblinking into the light of my flash.

" _Nomad-_ "

"This car is full of kids," I told him voice hard and no little broken. I pressed my fingers to the child's throat and she didn't react at all. Not surprising given the lack of pulse I felt.

" _Shit_ ," Sam muttered softly. " _Rescue is on its way. They've been looking for them according to the chatter._ "

" _We're on our way,_ " Wanda said over the comms, bringing Bucky with her I presumed. They'd been working together a couple tracks over.

I saw Sam's light as he stepped in. I'd moved onto another body, just as lifeless as the first, feeling as if I'd been kicked in the gut. What a waste. They had their lives still stretched out before them only to have them snuffed out in an act of senseless violence.

"Holy shit," Sam mumbled as he got a good look at the death splattered about us.

"Sam-" I had no words for this. There could be no comfort. No consoling of the parents and families, just loss and soul aching pain and utter confusion as to why this had happened. And maybe some railing at the gods for permitting such horror to take place for no sane reason.

"Cap, they're all gone." He set a hand on my shoulder. "There's nothing we can do for them."

But there was. "We can find the son of a bitch who did this and make certain he can _never do it again_."

"Agreed. But right now we're needed out there."

I nodded slowly and followed him out into the fading light. Wanda and Bucky standing nearby waiting expectantly for orders. "Survivors?" she asked, glowing energy at the ready on her fingers.

I shook my head. Making their way through the pathway we'd cleared came the rescue team that would be doing little more than pulling bodies from the wreckage. I turned away for a moment feeling guilty about leaving them to such an abhorrent task, but on this occasion our skills, our strengths would be wasted. "Make sure the car is stable," I said to Wanda who nodded.

Bucky stepped up beside me. "Bad?"

I shrugged. I'd seen worse, but not by much. The fact that it had been kids bothering me more than the deaths themselves.

And what the hell did that say about my life.

"Where do they want us?"

"Main train station. They found a void, but can't get any of the lifting equipment close enough yet. IR seems to indicate survivors."

No chance I would turn my back on the opportunity to actually save someone in this fucking mess, especially after what I'd just seen. Still, something rang as off. Survivors at ground zero seemed… odd at best, but I would not spit in the eye of an instance of good fortune in this disaster. "Lead the way."

The station had been built into the hillside and the impact fueled by massive explosions had blown it away, scattering dirt and cement and the building itself as far a half mile away. We'd seen the damage from the air as we'd circled about waiting for permission to land. Yes, we had played nice, claiming our new role as Nomad Security and asking if those on the ground would like assistance. Yes, they knew who we really were and, while I doubted they would refuse, it gave them the option to do so. I don't know what I would have done if they had said no. Probably made a call to Laurin who would have taken the ball and run with it.

The side of the hill may have blown out sideways, but a deep pit still existed where the immovable object had met the irresistible force, going down several stories, partially due to the collapsing infrastructure and tunnels that ran underneath the station. It looked remarkably like an impact crater from a meteor that had come in at a low angle. I'd seen tank fire that had created similar blast damage, but nothing on this scale. Whoever had planned this had done it extremely well and managed to cause maximum damage with comparably minimal effort.

"Someone seriously knows how to blow shit up," Bucky muttered beside me as we stopped at the edge of the crater, not certain where exactly they wanted us.

"No kidding," Sam agreed as he landed beside us, wings folding back into the pack.

"Where do they want us?" I asked of Sam.

"Not a clue, got an all call over the comms. Figured better to get you first, worry about the details later."

Then Iron Man appeared in the air, hovering about a dozen feet away over the open pit. Guess that explained the generic all call, why announce yourself over the comms when you can make a dramatic ego-boosting entrance.

"Your girlfriend is a pain in my ass," Tony grumbled through the speaker.

I blinked, not that he could see it, as I wore the full headgear today. "Sharon?" I blurted out before realizing that he probably meant Rinn.

"Sharon? Carter?" he echoed, sounding truly confused. It didn't take him long to figure it out though. "Oh, now that explains a few things."

He settled to the ground to our right and we shifted to continue facing him. Wanda's eyes had begun to glow, her anger had him at not receded much in the months we'd been in Wakanda.

"Your new boss," he sneered, "still excels at the guilt trips."

So Rinn had called, and probably told him, Tony Stark, to get off his ass and do the right thing. Damn, I could even hear her saying it, that put-upon-are-you-a-fucking-idiot tone in her voice. "That she does," I agreed.

"New uniforms are quite spiffy," Tony observed, though I had no clue if it he had been shooting for sarcasm or honesty.

Rinn had chosen the colors, red, black and white. The main uniform black, but now with red and white accents. I still worked on the logo for the company, but once complete we'd probably add a patch on the arms to make it clear who we were even in full headgear.

I chose not to react to the potential gauntlet Tony had just thrown down by arguing that Rinn was not our boss. "So how can we help?"

I had no issues working with Tony, but beside me Bucky felt ready to bolt at the slightest hint of Tony going after him. He'd been on the run for so long that he still went straight into fight or flight and last time it had taken both of us to even slow the man in the suit down, and we'd both limped away broken and beaten black and blue.

Tony had clearly noticed it as well. "Ease down, Sybil, a truce has been negotiated."

That didn't seem to ease Bucky's concerns one little bit.

"Buck, you can go back to the quinjet if you prefer," I said softly, but he shook his head.

"We have work to do. I'll deal with the adrenaline later."

Sam snorted. "We all will."

None of us had expected Iron Man to be here, though I suspected thanks to Rinn this was far more Tony than the Avenger. I seriously doubted anyone, including God, would have been able to approve his assistance in this incident so quickly. Didn't matter, really. He was here to help, best we get on with it.

"Where's the void?"

Redwing launched into the air, heading down into the pit and circling about, scanning the area. I leaned over slightly to watch the screen built into the armguard Sam wore. "Uh, there-ish?" He pointed down into the pit, slightly left of center. "Weird," he muttered.

"Weird how?" I asked, still feeling as if something were off with this whole thing.

"Got definite IR hits, sounds, but no lifesigns." He rapped his knuckles into the screen, causing the hovering Redwing to dip and wobble for a moment.

"Tech issues?" Tony taunted.

A truce may have been negotiated, but clearly he was not overly happy about it.

Sam snorted. "Oh hell no. Rinn's upgrades are awesome."

I could practically hear Tony's teeth grinding together. The last thing I wanted would be to alienate Rinn and Tony from each other. She might be the one sane voice in all of this and had been insistent on maintaining friendships with all involved even if it might not be practical.

"Tony, what do you see?"

His head whipped about to shoot what had to be a glare at me even if you couldn't tell due to the mask, but a moment later he turned away, presumably to scan the bottom of the pit as well. "Huh."

I waited expectantly.

"Same readings as the bird-brain over there."

Sam huffed in irritation, but refused to comment. We would need to swallow down our ire if we hoped to have any chance of being able to establish a working relationship.

Bucky muttered something then began making his way down into the pit.

"Buck."

"What? We have to assume they're alive and staring at the spot isn't going to get them rescued any sooner. Move your asses," he snapped, picking his way quickly and efficiently down the rubble laden side of the hole.

Wanda followed after, using her gifts to push herself into the air, seemingly floating down to the bottom with an ease I envied. Tony followed after, though it didn't look nearly impressive as Wanda's trick.

"Want a lift?" Sam offered and I nodded. He snapped out his wings and moved up behind me, arms under mine and launched us into the air.

We'd practiced this a lot, tweaking the motors and the strength of his wings until they could easily handle my weight. He'd also worked on building up his own strength given he now had two serum enhanced co-workers to deal with. In a fair fight with another normal human he would easily hold his own, but he would never be able to defeat an enhanced bare handed.

Not that it would be necessary, he has his own set of skills, much like Wanda… or Bucky. None of us could shoot like Buck. I mean we were all good, much better than average, but Bucky hadn't been called the best assassin on the planet for nothing. Hell, he'd been an incredible shot back during the war, which is why he'd been the Commandos sniper.

Even with the lift, Buck beat us to the bottom.

With care we began to shift the rubble above the void. Wanda and Tony moving a lot of it topside, piling the broken bits of building well away from the edge of the pit and out of the way of workers getting setup to treat and pull out those souls trapped beneath.

Tony chafed at the care we took removing each piece, but even he wouldn't just blast the concrete and metal away, no matter how badly he wanted to. One wrong move and whatever protected those beneath could collapse and potentially kill them, making this endeavor a useless one.

The IR signals never wavered and the sounds became clearer as we dug deeper, and yet… yet that frisson of wrongness crawled down my spine to coil up tight in my belly. We called out to those below to reassure them help was on the way, but the responses never seemed to make sense. Granted injured, shocky, possibly dying people weren't exactly the most coherent, so I tried to shrug it aside.

When we hit the bottom a giant horizontal slab all that remained between us and them Bucky shifted next to me, head cocked as if listening hard to those begging for our help below. "Something's off about this."

I sighed in relief glad to know it wasn't just me. "Then we keep our eyes open and prepare for anything."

"You two are such pessimists," Tony complained, though the tone seemed more amused than anything else.

"And if we're right?" Bucky shot right back with.

"I'll buy you dinner, sweetheart." He landed next to us. "Looks like if we lift there," he pointed to the edge kitty-corner from us, "we'll be able to tip it up and then Wanda… uh, Scarlet Witch can move it out of the way."

Yes, Wanda could most certainly lift the entire slab with seeming ease, but we wanted to control the movement and be there in real time, to make certain nothing collapsed beneath as we lifted. We would most likely feel if debris shifted in such a way as to endanger those below, while I could not guarantee Wanda would.

So up close and personal it had to be. "Works," I agreed. "Witch, you copy?"

" _Ready when you are_ ," she responded and I looked behind me to see her standing at the edge of the pit, powers ready. Lights were being set up and emergency workers stood near her, ready to take over as soon as we had access to the victims.

The three of us shifted, Tony between Bucky and I. As one we squatted down, digging fingers under the eight inch thick slab of concrete and rebar that probably weighed several tons. "Slow and easy. On three."

Tony started, "One."

"Two."

Then Bucky, "Three."

We heaved. I could hear hydraulics and servo motors groaning at the weight. I felt a sharp edge cut into my fingers, blood flowing and making the surface slicker than I liked, but I firmed the grip, shifting it onto the gloves - next time I'd wouldn't wear the fingerless ones - and pushed with my legs.

"Come on, you two, pretend you're actually super-soldiers," Tony complained, but I could hear the strain in his voice.

Bucky grunted and did… something and the damn slab shifted up a few inches. Not much, but enough to gain us some momentum. We made it to standing, and I was about to shift my hands to push the slab higher when Bucky swore, "Fuck."

I looked down to see one hell of a bomb sitting completely protected in a perfectly square void. Our survivors nothing but small boxes that with speakers and thermal units of some kind that were giving off the IR readings we'd all picked up.

Perfect bait.

"Wanda!"

The slab lifted away from us, disappearing into the night.

"Falcon, clear the area."

Bucky hopped down into the hole with the bomb, not hesitating for a second. "It's armed, but no visible timer."

Which meant it could go off at any moment. "How far away can you get it?" I asked of Tony.

"Not far enough," he answered which meant he'd had FRIDAY examine the damn thing and determine how big a blast radius it would have.

Wanda appeared beside me. "I got it." Red light wrapped about the bomb and lifted it into the air.

"Your range isn't nearly enough," Tony informed her, voice tight.

"Play pinball," Bucky suggested and we all looked at him as if he had lost it.

"What?" I asked, a tickle of understanding in the back of my head, but it seemed best to have him clarify.

"Witch, wrap it up, solid. You," he pointed at Tony, "shoot the damn thing away from here once she has it high enough."

"Oh, pinball. Good thinking." Tony lifted into the air. "Let's see how far away you can hold that shield in place."

Wanda nodded, a look of intense concentration on her face and flung the bomb into the air, the red glow of her powers quickly lost in the glare of the high intensity lights that had been set up around the site.

Tony launched skyward chasing after the sphere. A few minutes later we heard over the comms, " _Firing now_."

Less than sixty seconds later a massive blast lit up the night sky and Wanda collapsed to her knees, though I didn't know if she'd dropped the power on her own or if it had been blasted away by the bomb going off.

"Tony?"

" _I'm good_ ," he responded immediately. " _Area was clear, no casualties. And no biologics. Just a really big boom_."

"Roger," I acknowledged.

"That bomb was meant for the rescue teams," Bucky stated, sounding troubled. He pulled off the headgear and knuckled one eye. Then he bent down and picked up one of the _survivors_ and tossed it up to me. It was warm to the touch and still produced the cries and pleas of a person desperate for a rescue.

"Yeah," I agreed. "But was it for us? Or just the normal rescuers?"

Bucky shrugged. "Could go either way, but my guess would be us. Superheroes."

Tony came back into view and settled down near us. "Or Avengers. That blast would have severely damaged my suit. Might have been enough to kill both of you. Definitely would have kill any non-enhanced."

Meaning Sam and Wanda. "Shit," I muttered earning an electronic snort from Tony. "There was something scratched on the surface of the bomb. I thought it was just superficial damage, but…" I looked down at the pristine and totally undamaged hole it had been in.

"You mean this?" Tony projected an image into the air, the pattern of the scratches on the surface familiar, but I could not place it at the moment.

"Yeah. I know it from somewhere."

Bucky tossed a second teaser to Tony. "Figured you might want to pick apart one of them."

"You taking one to your boss?"

I nodded, appreciating the fact that he managed to not say Rinn's name aloud. Technically she wasn't our boss, just our sponsor of sorts, but the difference probably negligible in Tony's mind. "Locals can keep the third, not that it'll do them much good. I have a feeling whoever did this covered their tracks better than most."

"Cap, locals want to know if it's safe to come down," Sam asked over the comms.

"Sure. Not much to see though." We would need to get back to work. Still dozens, if not hundreds, of people to unbury from the rubble. We would probably be here for days. "Tony, want to lend a hand?"

"Of course. Let's see where they want us."

The Avengers might be broken, but, still, it would be good to work together again, no matter how depressing the reason.


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

 

I looked at the drawing on the paper before me. Colors reversed black on white, instead of white on black, but what had been scratched into the cover of the bomb that had nearly taken us out in France. It still rang as familiar, but I could not place it and that alone was driving me not so slowly mad.

I needed to get the image into the computer, intending to search for a match, but hated using the scanner, as it never seemed to capture the images properly. I supposed I could do the take a picture with the cell and email it to myself, but again something always seemed to get lost in transit.

I had the entire the studio to use, but found myself stymied by the switching from one medium to the other. I _knew_ there had to be an easier way, I just hadn't figured it out yet. I'd tried photoshop and it's cousins, but drawing with a mouse or trackball sucked, to put it mildly, and the tablet/stylus interface on the regular computer tablets simply not fine enough for what I wanted to do.

So, sketchbook in hand, I went looking for Rinn, certain she could point me in the right direction.

I found her in her cave, not her office, where she handled the business side of Cyko, but the room where she liked to do her coding. It was more than just a computer and keyboard, it had screens and projectors and all sorts of toys that would permit her to _see_ what she was doing real time. I had watched her live code once and had been suitably impressed as she produced landscapes only found in her mind in the air before us as real and detailed as an image a professional photographer could take.

The glass clear; when opaqued you did not go in no matter what, least not unless it was real life or death, and the walls were not vibrating with a bass beat, another sign she had not gone deep into her coding.

I rapped my knuckles on the door and she lifted her head to give me a smile and a wave to enter. "S'up?"

"I need to do an image search and the scanner hates me."

She snickered. "Why aren't you using the tablet?"

I sighed. "Sucks for a drawing medium."

Her brow wrinkled. "The Wacom?"

"The what?" I asked, feeling my forehead do the same thing hers had. One of us clearly confused, just not sure which of us.

She pushed back from the desk. "What tablet have you been using to draw in the computer?"

"Uh, whichever one is lying around. Those fuzzy tipped stylus pens just don't do it for me." To put it mildly.

"No wonder. You should be using the high end graphics tablet I bought." She stood up. "Were you working in the studio?"

I shook my head. "But I can be."

"Come on." She led the way back through the main building and to the Keep that Nomad ran out of. In the basement, probably a dungeon once upon a time, lived the studio, the one she'd originally set up for us in Wakanda. We'd moved it here about a week after we'd agreed to give her plan a go. Of course, she'd immediately given us a major upgrade and we'd been playing with the new toys ever since.

She rummaged around for a few minutes then pulled out what looked like a iPad from the mid-eighties. Thick, dark gray screen and case and looking utterly useless for my needs. There were buttons and couple different styluses, but otherwise looked like it belonged in a museum.

Of course one could argue that I did as well, so…

I must have wrinkled my nose when I took it because she cocked an eyebrow at me. "What?"

"It's looks like an iPad reject," I told her, certain my utter lack of confidence in the tech in my hand could be heard in my voice.

She laughed at me. "Oh, honey, has no one shown you a real drawing tablet?"

I grumbled under my breath. "Apparently not."

"Sit," she directed and I planted myself in the painfully ergonomically correct chair while she worked her magic with the computer before me. The huge monitor eventually showing a graphics program I hadn't had much success with previously. I held my tongue in an attempt to be politic about her efforts. "You'll need to redraw the image, but it'll save to the system and let you play with it as you wish."

"Rinn…" I must have whined, but she ignored it and hit the power button on the tablet itself.

She reached over my shoulder, picked up a stylus and proceeded to draw a stick figure on it, which appeared on the monitor in all its glorious horror. As I watched she continued her pitiful doodle, the thickness of the line changing as she applied pressure to the tablet, then changed colors to draw a bright yellow sun in one corner of the sky, add green hills, and birds and, it looked like something a five year old would do on the first day of kindergarten, but she did it with an ease that surprised me.

Then with a press of a button it all went away. Wiped clean from the screen if not my memory.

"You can't draw at all, how do you manage such detailed graphics in your sims?" I took the stylus from her and began simply, a flower, a daisy and quickly discovered this Wacom tablet to be miles above the ones I'd been fumbling about with the last few weeks.

"I can draw, nothing like you, but good enough to rough out ideas, especially for cut scenes." She grabbed a second chair and settled next to me. "Hey, I was wondering if you'd be interested in taking commissions."

I added color to the leaves of the daisy, then paused to look up at her. "Commissions? For drawing?"

She nodded. "I like using original cover art for my games, I thought it might be kinda cool if I talked Steve Rogers into doing the next few."

"Cover art for the boxes your games come in? Don't you use screenshots and the like?" Thinking about it, while most companies seemed to do just that, I realized she did not. Hell, I'd seen posters for her games, the artwork always spot on and definitely not just some repeated scene from the game itself. The main lobby had displays of some of them behind glass, no few of which had won awards themselves.

Why do things halfway when you can do it better than everyone else?

She rolled her eyes at me and it looked so cute I couldn't help but smile. "No, I hire artists to do those and the posters. It's based on the game art, but always an original take on it."

"You have ideas or will I have free rein?" It sounded like it could be a fun distraction from the depressing reality of hunting down who had done the bombing and tracking down the missing data from the server thefts. It's not like I slept much and unless we got in an expert in some martial art I did not know, I didn't need to train any more than necessary to keep at the top of my game.

"Well, we don't want the cover giving away any of the secrets in the games, but while I have ideas I'm willing to negotiate."

"Then yes. Have your people call my people," I told her with a grin. "Or, you know, knock on my door."

She laughed and patted me on the shoulder. "I'll send you my ideas later. I put this off for too long, and we only have six months for the first cover."

Urf. "You do realize I have other things to do, right? Saving the world and all. Bad enough I already feel like I'm living off your handouts…" I trailed off at the look on her face.

"Umm... you will be paid for this, and handsomely at that." Her lips quirked as if trying to hold back gales of laughter. " A percentage of every game sold, plus the majority share of any posters, t-shirts, mouse pads and anything else we can stick the image on and sell will be yours."

"Oh." I felt like the idiot she often called me. "Well, then I'll get to work on it as soon as I've got this mess sorted out, okay?"

She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "Of course. And I'm am not giving you a handout. You, all of you, will be earning that money. I have a conference next month I have to go to and will need one of you there to wrangle the hoards of fans I attract. Or keep away whoever it is that's been following me."

We'd been working on that too. K'Tana had returned to Wakanda once we'd moved in. I'd been unaware that she had left a husband and young child behind to protect Rinn and it impressed me that she had not used that as a means to get us to stay. Playing the family card would have gotten me to say yes, without questions, instead she'd treated it as a business proposition, one between friends, yes, but still business before any personal reasons. Rinn knew enough about all of us to twist heart strings to manipulate us to do things her way, yet she didn't. Coming at us on an intellectual level instead of an emotional one. It had been her employees who had played those cards; worried about their boss and friend who kept her concerns so close to her heart that few had even become aware she'd put herself into danger.

Here, at the castle we could keep her relatively safe, but she had to travel and did so at least a couple weeks out of every month. Sim and nanobot monitoring, or installs, or promotions for a new game release, hawking her skills to generate more income for the business. She rarely stopped and I don't think she took time off for herself beyond her morning workouts.

"Send me the dates and I'll get it in the schedule." I saved the flower, and cleared the screen even though I hadn't finished it. I'd done enough to know that this tablet would let me do what I needed with comparative ease. It would not be the same as the medium of pencil to paper, but it would do. And I was betting with some adjustments the feel would be far closer, but I would deal with that later. Right now I wanted to get it into the system and see if I could figure out where I knew it from.

I looked over at the sketchbook, debating whether or not I actually needed it for what I wanted to do, when she got up to get it for me. It had a built in prop so that it could act like an easel when needed. She set it up next to the monitor I would be working on and then sat back down. I pressed a few buttons on the tablet and figured out how to reverse the image colors. This way I'd be doing white on black like the original image.

Rinn watched for a few minutes, then picked up a nearby tablet to work on, eyes flicking from her screen to mine every few moments. While she had no reason or need to stay I did appreciate the company. For all that we lived in the same building, I did not see her nearly as much as I had expected. We, my team, mostly ate in our common room as well as hold our daily meetings there. We actually did monitor the security for the castle, updated the security system and cameras, watched the comings and goings of the employees, the majority of whom lived in the nearby town and commuted to work daily.

The decidedly non-regular schedules they often followed making it a surprising challenge to deal with. And then we'd get those who would stay here for days at a time to better work on a project, those former bed and breakfast guest rooms seeing plenty of use. Only Rinn and the four of us lived here full-time, little wonder Hattie and her co-workers wanted us here; Rinn spent a lot of personal time alone in this huge building and that made her a comparatively easy target.

K'Tana had given us all the meticulous files she'd kept on those who had been making moves on Rinn and her suspicions of who they were and worked for, but aside from some photos of them, never the same person twice, which suggested either professionals or paranoia, there hadn't been much to go on.

We had indeed been working for the money she supplied, but since it had for the most part been easy work we all felt, to one degree or another, that we were freeloaders. Friends or guests that would eventually outlive their stay.

But she'd tell us if we had… I hoped.

"Oh, I thought that looked familiar."

I twitched, causing the stylus to squiggle a line across the edge of the screen. I quickly erased it and turned to her. "What?"

"Sorry, the image you're doodling, it's for Crossbones, isn't it?"

I blinked in confusion. "Uh, what?" I must have sounded like an utter fool, or someone without two brain cells to rub together.

"Rumlow. That's what the boards nicknamed him when he went rogue after Hydra fell."

Okay, I now felt certain one of us had gone insane. I just wasn't sure which one of us. "Laurin, I have no clue what you are talking about." I mean, I knew exactly who Brock Rumlow was given I'd been there at his rather fiery demise, that armour he'd been wearing rigged with… "That's where I've seen this before."

She nodded vigorously and spun her tablet about so I could see the collection of cell images there. Dozens had gotten photos and videos of the grand finale in Lagos, including Rumlow, white marks scratched deep into the surface of the composite armour he'd worn. "Yep, it looks like a stylistic skull and crossbones." She pointed at my sketchbook. "You didn't account for the eye holes on the headgear he wore, but it's near perfect match."

"But he's dead," I muttered setting the tablet and stylus down on the desk and rotating the chair to look at her.

"They never did find a body," Rinn pointed out, scrolling through the images on the screen.

"He was the center of the blast radius and Wanda had him wrapped up in her power, containing it. I watched him burn." And then hell had broken loose, the power exceeding what she'd been able to contain and taking out several floors of the nearby building.

I felt Rinn's hand settle on my forearm for a moment, a simple act of comfort I appreciated. "People would have died either way, ground or in the air. She made the best call she could have in the situation."

"I know, still doesn't change what happened after."

Rinn shrugged as she sat back. "Can't say that with certainty, not without a time machine and the willingness to change history. That said, could you have survived that blast?"

I had to take a couple minutes to think about it. "Maybe?" I finally answered. I tried really hard to avoid being blown up, it hurt, but it had happened now and then. Usually resulting in the loss of clothes and my dignity. Once broken bones and burns, but both had healed quickly and not hampered my finishing the mission at hand over much.

"Certainly. I've done the math. Hell, lots of us have done the math. They all pretty much agree that you and Wanda, provided she had a shield up, would have survived."

If true that meant, no matter Rumlow's words, I hadn't been the target. Well, okay, I had been, but not to kill, just to _hurt._ Killing innocents would hurt me far more than a taking the hit myself. "And you're saying he's still alive?"

She pointed at the image I had drawn. "Who else would use that?"

"A fanboy?"

She snorted, amused I had used the term and correctly at that. "One smart enough to draw you in close enough to try and set off a bomb in your face? I know there are people who don't like you, but last I checked Rumlow wanted you _destroyed_. I just didn't realized he wanted to make certain you hurt as much as possible first."

Christ, if Rumlow had survived… "Maybe, maybe it's just his mercenaries trying to get even?" A faint hope, but hope nonetheless. Then again look what they had done to get me close enough to try and blow me up. At last count over seven hundred had been killed, with hundreds more injured and the death toll went up every day as more succumbed to their injuries. "Rumlow is dead." All the current evidence to the contrary staring me in the face.

"I read Nat's report," she waved a hand before I could get a word in, "don't ask how, just know I did. She got him with her wrist gauntlet and it didn't even faze him, and I know you let her test those things on you to make certain they'll put down an enhanced… or Hulk, if necessary."

I wondered who had shared that intel with her, but in the end it didn't matter as pretty much any of the Avengers would have if they thought she should know. I'd read the same report, but hadn't really thought about what it could mean. " 'I don't work like that no more.' "

Rinn nodded in agreement. "He did survive having both a building and a helicarrier dropped on him."

"You think he's been enhanced?" That… that would be bad and a reasonable assumption to make with the known data, which was limited at best. But he'd been Hydra for years without me knowing and placed in a position to take me out when it became necessary. And while I hadn't noticed him being anything other than an exceptionally fit man and an expert in his fields, he could have simply hid it. Zola's formulas still existed, they could have been enhancing all those they favored and no one would have been the wiser.

"If the foo shits…"

I snickered, but quickly sobered. "Did he just get up and walk away in Lagos?"

"Not a clue, but we can set up a search with modified facial rec that'll look for him."

I nodded. Might as well cover all the bases as a precaution. If he had survived and had gone back to trying to kill me… Though why France? Why a train station full of people just to get to me. It's not like I couldn't be found. Rinn had done so easily enough and once word had spread that me and my team were playing rescue heros it had become even easier. Pick a major natural disaster and we'd been there. So why this? Why wait months, go through all this detailed planning for the chance that I would not only show up, but be the one to lift that slab of concrete to greet a faceful of explosion.

"Why did no one know this was coming?"

Rinn shrugged. "I can't answer that, but someone should have. That took serious planning and setup. No way it had been thrown together in a few hours."

"Maybe those boards can help."

"Oh no, no, _no_ , you are not going to start hanging out on the fan boards," Rinn told me in no uncertain terms. "You have people for that."

"But if they have information that could help…"

"Steve, sweetie, trust me when I say the last place you need to be is those fan boards. Most of the posters think you and the others are the greatest thing since sliced bread, but others…" She shook her head. "Hero or vigilante, remember? For every dozen that would follow you into hell itself on your say so, there's one that would love to send you there personally."

And people could be astonishingly cruel. I had learned that a lifetime ago. "But if they have information…"

"Then it will be found, but we'll let a mining program with no feelings to injure sift through all the data. Trust me on this, Steve, it's being taken care of."

"What? Do I need a PR manager or something?" It seemed silly. I was a soldier. I did my job, nothing special really and yet, given the _oh hell no_ vibe Rinn currently gave off there was a whole world out there that I'd missed out on.

"You had one, I've been faking it for a couple months now."

"What?"

"Not me personally… mostly. I handle it in house, a few of my people watching boards and interacting with fans of all stripes. Part of the business profile these days, especially with gamers. Tony had a PR company that handled that crap for the Avengers. Hell, after New York, SHIELD had to spend a small fortune trying to debunk all the sightings. Eventually they gave up and just watched the boards, dealt with any actionable threats, but otherwise left the fanboys and girls to their speculation and daydreams."

And I'd been off in my own little world this entire time, not really having a clue beyond the occasional news cast I watched or person coming up to me on the street and asking for an autograph or selfie to provide a gauge of how the world felt about having superheroes trying to make their lives a little safer by potentially sacrificing their own.

"Do they like me… us?"

She laughed. "Sweetheart, you guys are rock stars and top actors all rolled into one. You show up to save the day and cameras instantly come out. We have the most fun with those who think they've spotted you in some random diner in Saskatchewan. The photos are always horrible and only kind of look like you."

"And you deal with shit like this?" I asked. After seeing Scott's reaction I had begun to wonder if others reacted similarly.

"Yes and no. I get a ton more hate mail than you ever will, but that's what happens when you're a woman playing in a man's game." She settled back into the chair, fingers tapping the arms in a random pattern. "I developed a thick skin a long time ago. Kinda had to and, while the occasional comment does get to me, I always use it to push harder, do better, and just prove the bastards wrong. You," she reached out to tap fingers on my forearm, "do not have thick enough skin to handle what some of them have said." She smiled, but it looked sad more than anything. "You would dive in head first, show up on their doorstep thinking you could change their mind in person. And you can't because the flaws they see are far more in themselves than you. I'm not perfect, far from it, and neither are you. Flaws make us who we are, we just can't dwell on them."

"This sounds like a speech you've been preparing for Bucky," I observed, but she shook her head.

"Something my dad told me not long after I got my diagnoses. He died just a few weeks later."

Little wonder it had stuck with her all these years. "You swear if intel is found you'll tell me?"

"Well," she dissembled, "maybe not personally, that's why we have that program rigged to send you daily updates, so…"

I rolled my eyes. "You have to be so literal all the time."

She grinned. "Finish your drawing and get it into the system. It'll search to see if it's been popping up anywhere else. God knows with Hydra a mess they might just be looking at Rumlow as their new God or some other cultish bullshit." She shook her head. "Mixing science and pseudo-religion is just bad all the way around." She got to her feet, setting the tablet back on the desk.

I had to agree with that. "You heading back to work?"

"Unless you want me to stay. I can work on it from here."

I did kind of want the company even if we didn't say more than two words to each other, but she had a company to run and work to do. "Stay, please," I requested softly.

One eyebrow rose on her forehead, a clear unspoken question.

I shrugged. "I can be selfish now and then."

She laughed, but sat back down. "No, you can't." She picked the tablet back up and scooched the chair closer to mine, our elbows not quite touching. "Everything okay?"

"Good enough," I told her, taking a second to wrap my hand about hers and squeeze. "Join us for dinner tonight?"

"So everything's not okay." She twined our fingers together. "Is James all right?"

I had no idea how to answer that. He seemed fine on the surface, but he avoided pretty much everyone unless forced to interact. Joined us for meals, but did little more than eat, do his share of the chores, and leave. He trained with us, took all due care with our unenhanced team members, but spent more time punching heavy bags than could be healthy. Yeah, we didn't sleep all that much due to our modified metabolisms, but he seemed to be withdrawing from life instead of trying to live it.

And he refused to talk to me.

"Ah," she mumbled. "He's hiding. That explains why I never see him."

"He's afraid he'll hurt you. Not physically, but…"

She squeezed my hand. "I get it. I'll be there."

"Thank you."

She released my hand and waved for me to get back to work even as she turned her focus to the tablet in her other hand. She was here and that mattered more than anything else.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for reasons that will become insanely obvious, the next few bits will be in Bucky's POV. AND from here on out I will end up swapping between Bucky and Steve with notations at the top of the chapter (or break) as to who's brain I'm stuck in. We may see others as well, but, aside from Tony (who is getting his own set of side stories) no one else is being overly demanding as of yet. (Tony was definitely being a putz about it.)

 

 

 

_Bucky's POV_

 

Steve _hated_ me.

I'd been avoiding Laurin as much as humanly possible while living in the same place - thank god said place was huge and we had our own wing, which gave me plenty of excuses to not venture into the other half where she and her company lived. The training room the only overlap and I had yet to run into her there. Her hours screwier than mine, apparently.

I felt I had to avoid her simply because I didn't want to.

I wanted to be with her, day in and day out, so badly sometimes I swore I couldn't think straight any longer, but I stayed away. Let her live her life without the burden of one fucked up Winter Soldier trailing along behind her like a lost puppy who'd found his god… goddess.

And Steve damn well knew it.

So, why did I find myself attending a tech conference as Rinn's personal bodyguard?

Because Steve Rogers is an asshole.

That's why.

Oh, and some sad excuse that his face was too well known and both Wanda and Sam were working other jobs. Amazing how that worked out.

So, not only did I have to curb that god damned longing for her, but I had to play the heavy and keep her safe for five days in some huge ass sprawling building where I had little or no control over our comings and goings.

Yes, I had the full layout of the conference center and all adjoining hotels, her schedule, the rooms I had said we had to have in no uncertain terms, the background checks of the conference security that would also be shadowing her all weekend, but I had no real control. In the first day alone I had pissed off the in house security with my demands. Rinn had smoothed the way, but they still glared at me every time they saw me.

I didn't care. I'd gotten my way and that's all that mattered.

Rinn had to be kept safe.

Period.

End of story.

She hadn't argued, complained, or bitched at all. Took my requests (orders really, as I wasn't going to compromise on her security for anyone or anything) in stride and followed them to not only the letter, but the spirit. And this was just a tech conference, I didn't even want to think about the madhouse that would exist at one of her gaming conventions.

Those people were nuts.

Half the day had been spent standing in the wings while she sat onstage either alone or with other scientists answering questions about their specialities, the other half sitting next to her in the audience while others paraded about on the stage. It wasn't nearly as mindless or boring as I had expected, but I spent more time looking for potential danger than listening to those at the lectern. Given talking by the audience members had been discouraged, Rinn and I had carried on some lively conversations via text on some of the topics.

I appreciated her efforts to keep me from feeling left out and giving curious spins to the information that would be of actual interest and potential use to me and the rest of the team. The one on nano tech in the healthcare industry definitely catching my attention, given the personal impact on the woman who sat next to me. She'd taken notes during that one, brow furrowed most of time, leading me to suspect the direction the speaker had gone to be useless for her needs.

I would never be as smart as Rinn, but I got the gist everything being discussed, I just didn't have the intelligence to make use of the knowledge.

She did.

I focused on doing my job and did my best to not let her see the insanity going on behind my eyes.

So, while the giant meeting halls with too many people to even hope to keep her safe should things go FUBAR were a pain in my ass, I hated the meet and greets even more.

Strangers coming up to chat with her one on one with only a table separating them. Because, while an industry conference, ordinary people could and had bought tickets to attend. Most having an interest in the fields being discussed, but not academics or professionals. Nerds had _fans._ Yes, she had security on either side of her, but they were little more than volunteers who shepherded her about on her appointed rounds. I had little or no say in how it was run, but we'd worked out code phrases and hand gestures that would let her tell me if she had become uncomfortable or concerned about the situation.

For the most part I stood behind her looking dangerous and intimidating. Not a difficult task even in the far too normal clothes she'd provided. The button down shirt, jeans and suit jacket, not my style, but it allowed me to blend in with relative ease. She wouldn't let me wear a shoulder holster, but I had managed to hide a knife in my boot, just in case.

My job was to expect trouble, and while I didn't need a weapon to hurt someone, I wanted to be able to level the playing field at least a little bit if someone did go after her. Most of the nerds I'd seen had the build of people who had never lifted anything heavier than a petri dish… or their lunch, but there'd been a few, who, like Rinn, clearly did not shirk exercise and filled the sleeves of their shirts with muscle instead of pasty white skin that hadn't seen the sun in years.

I'd had to google the joke Rinn had made about adding glitter to one exceptionally pale specimen, and gotten a good laugh out of it when I had. Really? Vampires that sparkle in the sunlight? What the hell had the world come to while I'd been asleep?

And the whole time I wished I were anywhere else. I mean, I'd been forced to do worse things. _Much_ worse in point of fact. The horrors I'd seen, done, endured during my life had filled a dozen journals so far and the nightmares added to the constant reminders of all the terrible things I had done.

So, this little adventure had actually been a bit of a distraction from that.

Day two had been a repeat of the first. Different meetings, of course, but while she went to hear other subjects, she pretty much got asked the same questions over and over again. Her expertise on nanobots the reason she had been invited, which meant that was all anyone wanted to know about. A few knew about her work in sims, but those who brought up the subject wanted to know why she'd chosen to stop working for the US government as opposed to anything of actual value.

She never answered, the moderator always shutting such questions down quickly. Thing of it was, I knew she wanted to answer, wanted to tell them the US had been acting like assholes to friends of hers, and while I and Steve would appreciate the support it would probably do far more harm than good and just make her an even bigger target. All these people were here for the science, not to debate the value of the Accords and whether or not enhanced persons should be _forced_ to sign.

The guest of honor thing more of a pain in the ass than anything in my opinion, as it required her to be in specific places at specific times that anyone could find out. And in general it meant traveling a certain route to get there with no options for easy escape should the shit hit the fan.

We got through it, her fully aware that I wasn't happy about most of it, but a quiet smile or gentle touch had been enough to reassure me she was fine and that I would be too.

Still, by the end of day two I wanted a stiff drink and to punch a wall or three, and it had nothing to do with the fact that she had spent the day so close to me that I could smell her and wanted to touch her so badly my hands shook with it. I drew on that patience I had learned over the decades I'd been alive, that ability to be emotionless and hard when needed… and it had been needed a lot over the years.

When it got really bad I stopped being Bucky and just let the Soldier do the job. Modified, of course, killing someone because they'd touched Rinn's hand would be bad, but the not caring helped.

If Steve knew I could do this, he'd probably… no he would most certainly freak the fuck out.

I'd been living with it since I'd fled DC. The Soldier perfect for a fight; cold, calculating and able to read the situation better and faster than I ever could.

And it gave me a layer of protection from Rinn. I just didn't care other than her being my job, and that made it easier to be so close to her.

I'd been kind of surprised that I could still do it once they'd blocked access to the programming, but had been thankful, as some days it had been the only thing keeping me from following her around like a stalker. And I guess I shouldn't have been surprised; the Winter Soldier was still a part of me, all they'd done was prevent others from using him.

I collapsed onto the bed, staring blindly at the ceiling, debating what to order for dinner. The room service selection not especially exciting, but allowed me to relax my guard for a while. Eating in one of the restuarants meant staying on alert the entire time and that I didn't really get to eat much. After one meal like that Rinn had brought us back to the rooms every time without making a single comment.

A knock on the the door adjoining our rooms made me groan, but I got up and swung it open. Rinn had changed, the clothes far from the business casual she'd been wearing all day. How she'd managed it in under five minutes impressed the hell out of me.

Skin tight black jeans tucked into tall boots with enough heel to put us nearly eye to eye, not that she had ever been much shorter than me in flats. A low cut shirt that showed far more cleavage than could ever be healthy for me, hair down for the first time since we'd arrived, it had been in buns or ponytails depending on the meeting she'd been attending, in a fall of glorious pale blonde that I wanted to twine around my fingers.

I just kind of stared at her, unable to process what I was seeing into actual words. My mouth went dry and I had to fight the urge to bury my hands in her hair and kiss her.

Son of a bitch.

I _hated_ Steve Rogers.

"Hungry?" she asked, acting as if she had noticed nothing.

I turned away, but heard he follow me into the room. "Starved." I made a point to not tell her for what. It didn't involve actual food at the moment.

"Liar," she admonished.

So maybe she had noticed. I picked up the menu and waved it at her. "You're a little overdressed for room service."

"But not for meeting friends."

I took a moment to mentally review her schedule and came up with a big blank for the evening. "Where?" I asked warily, not liking this change in plans.

"A bar."

I shook my head. "It's not safe."

She smiled. "It's perfectly safe, but you are going to come with me anyway and you are going to drink and pretend to be a human being for a few hours." She moved to stand in front of me, took the menu from my hand and tossed it onto the bed. "James, it'll be all right."

I shook my head. I should tell her no. Tell her I hadn't scouted the place and therefore couldn't I guarantee her safety, something I could not compromise on. Tell her it would be safer to stay in for the evening, order more boring room service, and raid the mini bar, but it wouldn't be. Not really.

I would spend another night pacing the floor knowing she lay just a few feet away and wanting nothing more than to crawl between those sheets and wrap myself about her. She clearly had no clue what had been going on in my head since we'd climbed into the car at the castle almost two days ago.

"I can't," I finally told her, the words barely able to force their way through a closed off throat and a mouth gone dry as dust.

"Why not?"

I turned away, trying to put some distance between us, debating the merits of letting her see the monster I truly could be, but concerned it wouldn't frighten her.

Or worse.

That it would.

Stupid brain, stuck between conflicting emotions. I needed to convince her to stay away from me, but I couldn't due to her being the anchor that held the beast that lived under the bed at bay.

"I don't do well in crowds these days."

She sighed. A moment later I felt her hand on my left one and I barely resisted turning to look at her. I'd worn gloves to hide my cybernetic hand as I doubted even Rinn could prevent the authorities from arresting me if I were recognized here, but right now I wished I could feel her without the material in the way.

"Talk to me, please."

I could feel her warmth at my back, her body lightly resting against mine, her breath shifting the hairs by my ear.

"Steve should have come, not me." Steve would been perfect for this, drawn attention away from her, handled everything smoothly and been exactly what she needed every moment of the day. I couldn't even manage to be in the same room at her without my mind doing things to her I most certainly did not have any doubts she would not be interested in.

Hell, I hadn't even managed to be her friend. I spent more time avoiding her than anything and look where that had gotten me.

Stuck by her side for the better part of a week with no clue how to handle myself when alone with her.

"Nope. He had other things to do. I'm not that horrible am I?"

"No. You're perfect." I looked at her, her brow wrinkled in confusion. "I just think going out is too big a risk."

She set her chin on my shoulder and huffed out a breath of air. "I'm meeting friends in a bar full of nerds. Yes, there will be a risk, but that's why I want you along." She gave me a nudge. "C'mon, sailor, lemme buy you a drink or three."

"Army, doll. Do I look like a sailor to you?"

"Not with that haircut you don't."

I couldn't help it, I smiled and suddenly realized I hadn't felt this good in weeks. Just talking with her, like two normal people loosened something I'd been holding onto far too tightly.

Maybe, just maybe I could actually do this.

"A couple hours, you have a ten a.m. meeting."

" _We_ have a ten a.m. meeting, sunshine," she reminded as she spun away. "And you're assuming I won't stay up all night coding… again." She smirked at me then went back into her room, returning a moment later stuffing something into the front pocket of her jeans. "Shall we?" She gestured towards the main door of my room and I just sighed and nodded.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has ended up being exceedingly long so I've decided to break it up into multiple parts as best I can.

I stopped and shifted to the side just few steps into the bar, my eyes roving over everything and everyone within the darkened interior. Music played in the background, barely heard over the buzz of voices, the interior poorly lit, as expected, but not so dark I could not see into the majority of the nooks and crannies. Two hallways off the main room, one for bathrooms the other for the kitchen where they made the… Nano Bites, a glance at a menu propped between condiments on a nearby table revealed. Clearly modified to cater to the crowd that would be invading their space for the next several days. Exits included the kitchen, the door we'd come in and the french doors leading out onto a balcony area. We were several stories up, but it still had to be considered as an escape route should we need it.

A dozen waiters of boths sexes rushed about, plus the long bar that ran the length of one wall manned by three bartenders who looked like they'd rather be anywhere else. I clocked at least six people who were probably carrying, three who might just be bodyguards as well based on dress and the lack of intoxicating drinks at their elbows. Plus they looked both bored and wary at the same time.

I glanced over my shoulder at Rinn, who I expected to look impatient, but instead caught her eyes roving over the place same as mine had.

Well, wasn't she just full of surprises.

"Who taught you to do that?" I asked at a quiet murmur. No one else would hear, but I knew she would.

She shrugged. "Nat, Steve, Clint. All have very different styles, which made it worth learning."

True enough. "What do you see?" Curious if she had actually learned anything or just faked it really well.

"Nerds, mostly. Four bodyguards. A dozen packing, though probably nothing more exciting than swiss army knives." She pulled out her phone and showed me the images on the screen, "A couple dozen women with tasers in their purses."

"Where did you get that?" I took the phone, shifting it to see how accurate it really was. Granted it had hit on the tasers that I had just assumed were there, but I had to admit I was impressed.

"Tony. He writes apps when he's bored."

I snorted and handed the phone back to her. "Do you see your friends?"

"Yep. Big booth in back." She gestured in the direction with her chin instead of pointing, which could potentially telegraph our moves to others.

Smart girl.

I led the way, with her right behind me, the place crowded but not so packed it had become difficult to move. "You look for them on the first pass or the second?"

"Second," she informed me with a laugh. "I know what I'm doing."

"Yes, you do." Better than I had expected, though I didn't know why I should be surprised at this point. She never did things halfway, but then again, I did not know her very well. Yeah, we'd texted a lot before we'd joined her in Austria, but that had been more me trying to sort out the mess in my head than her revealing a whole lot about who she was as a person. She told me some things, and I'd picked up on others, but until she'd met us at the quinjet I hadn't had any real clue about how much was talk versus real.

I wanted to smack myself upside the head. Now was not the time to be maundering about if the girl next to me really liked me or not. Hell, I couldn't say if I liked her for real thanks to the whole anchor mess. Better to just let it be and do like Steve had suggested and just treat her like a friend.

Or in this case a job.

There were two people sitting in the booth and the woman, upon seeing us approach, squealed and began to shove at the man sitting next to her, almost causing him to spill the drink he'd just picked up. The straw that had been almost to his mouth jabbing him in the cheek instead. He sighed, but allowed himself to be pushed until out of the booth and standing.

Rinn would have towered over the woman in bare feet and was a full head taller in the boots, but that didn't slow the stranger down in the least.

"Rinn," she said around a gleeful smile as she wrapped her arms about Rinn for a bone cracking hug.

"Good to see you too, Jemma. Fitz." She nodded in the man's direction. She managed to wiggle out of Jemma's hold and moved to stand in front of Fitz. "How are you?" she asked setting a hand on his shoulder. Thanks to the heels she had a couple inches on him as well.

He wrapped an arm about her waist and kissed her on the cheek. "Good. You look stunning as always." He had a decided Scottish accent, but I didn't hold it against him.

"And who is this handsome gentleman?" Jemma asked, her accent just as pronounced now that she'd spoken more than a single word, but British.

Interesting.

"My bodyguard, James."

Jemma cocked a single eyebrow at Rinn. "Bodyguard? Is there something we need to know?"

"Not really," Rinn dissembled, keeping a straight face. I made a note to remember how good a liar she was.

I scanned the room again not seeing anything new, but my instincts telling me I needed to be cautious. "Can we sit?"

"Oh, of course. Please." Jemma waved at the table, permitting me the choice of seat.

I tried to urge Rinn in before me, but she shook her head. "You'll just have to get up every time I need to pee."

Okay, pragmatic and no little blunt, but it meant I could not defend her as easily.

I opened up my mouth to argue, but she leaned into whisper, "Trust me, please."

I nodded and sat first, scooting around until I had a decent view of the room. Only the booths hidden behind the high dividers to our sides invisible to my view. Then I noticed the bar across from us, backed by huge mirrors angled slightly downward, which let me see, if poorly the rest of the room. I set my left arm on the underside of the table and lifted slightly, discovering it to be loose and not mounted into the floor. I glanced over at Rinn who gave me a tiny smile. She'd known exactly what she'd been doing.

Granted I would have preferred the end seat, which would allow me to stand faster, but this position would let me see the trouble coming before it got here and be able to flip the table up as a defensive shield it should it be necessary.

I liked the way she thought.

Jemma ended up next to me, with Fitz beside her. "I ordered assorted finger foods, and there should be two pitchers of beer coming, one light and one dark. I didn't order shots yet, wasn't sure what you were in the mood for." He nodded to Rinn.

She glanced over at me. "I'm thinking bourbon if they have a decent selection otherwise Irish. Redbreast fifteen year."

Fitz wrinkled his nose. "I need to teach you drink Scotch."

"I do. You know I like a good Islay."

Fitz laughed, his eyes locking on mine for an instant. "And what is it you do?"

I shrugged. "Bodyguard for Miss Cyrelle," I answered, wondering what she had told them about me.

"And how did you come to be hired for that position?" Jemma asked, voice oddly suspicious.

My response interrupted by the arrival of food and beers carried by two of the servers. It took a few minutes to get everything squared away and the shots ordered and, while I hoped Jemma had forgotten about the question, it didn't take more than a second to realize she hadn't as I sipped on my beer.

Jemma looked up from her phone, straight at Rinn. "Bloody hell, do you know who this is?"

"No, why don't you tell me." The sarcasm dripping from Rinn's words. "Fitz figured out about ninety seconds in, what took you so long?"

"Hey," Fitz grumbled. "How could you tell?"

"You've been staring at his left arm like it's a pretty girl's cleavage."

I snorted.

Jemma hit him.

Rinn laughed.

"My apologies, Sgt. Barnes, I should have recognized you."

"Well, I was trying to keep a low profile," I muttered, wondering if I could talk Rinn into leaving. A glance her way convinced me I would fail and explained her making certain she had the end seat.

Damn it.

I felt trapped and that would never be a good thing.

Then she set her hand on my thigh, squeezing gently. I dropped my hand atop hers and tried to calm the racing of my heart. She would not intentionally put us into any danger. I had to believe that.

Thankfully the server arrived again with the shots, giving me a chance to gather my wits about me.

Once alone again Fitz pulled out a small black box and set it on the table. "Shall we?"

Rinn nodded.

He pressed a button and I instantly shoved my hands over my ears at the high pitched squeal that had invaded. It fucking hurt. The tone so high it was more of a vibration than a sound, but it still made my ears ache and I had to resist slamming my fist down on the piece of tech and destroying it just to make the pain go away.

Rinn reached out and shut the damn thing off a look of pain on her face. "Well that was useless."

"What the hell?" Fitz questioned as he picked up the small box and stared at it in dismay.

Jemma backhanded him on the arm, gentler this time. "I told you to test it with enhanced. I'm surprised you didn't blow their eardrums."

"They'd heal," he muttered under his breath.

"What the hell is that?" I pointed at the evil piece of technology, not wanting to be near it ever again. Least not when it was active.

"It's supposed to give us privacy. Block us from being recorded, or overheard. And it works, I just didn't realize either of you would be able to hear the signal being output. Too high a frequency for normal humans." He sounded truly apologetic and I had to admit I liked the idea of our conversation being kept private, especially given I had no idea what Rinn had come here to discuss with them.

I froze at that, realizing they knew Rinn to be something other than normal. "Who are you?" I growled, no longer willing to just take Rinn's vouching for them.

Rinn held up a hand then pulled out her phone. I thought she'd gone more insane than usual as I watched her pull up an app and start it. The bodyguards out in the bar winced, hands going to their earpieces for an instant. Trouble was I saw another six I hadn't tagged earlier do the same; hands going to earpieces that had been invisible to both Rinn and I.

She cocked her head a wicked smile on her face. "There's an app for that."

"Smartass," Fitz muttered, then downed his shot.

I watched the new targets, but wanted an answer. "Who do you work for?"

Rinn set her hand over mine before answering. "They're my contacts in SHIELD."

Okay, I needed to leave, now.

"James, I swear to you they are here as my friends. I've been working on a side project with Fitz and I haven't seen either of them in…"

"Before D.C.," Jemma answered. "And, yes, I exactly know who _else_ you are."

That didn't help. SHIELD was Hydra and they… even broken apart as they were… they would do anything to get me back. Only Rinn's hand on mine kept me in place. I wanted to run. _Needed_ to run. Needed to get as far away as possible. Those with the surprise earpieces, a strike team to take me? Had Rinn led me right into a trap. Had she given me up to protect the rest of them? To get me and my insane need of her out of her life?

Rinn was suddenly there, her scent in my nose, head pressed against the side of mine, her voice in my ear. "Easy. You are not in danger. You can let go of the knife."

_Knife?_

I looked down at my left hand, the knife I'd shoved into my boot in it, though thankfully not being brandished about, but there at the ready for when the fight came to me… to us.

"Sorry," I muttered, slowly sliding the weapon back into the boot sheath.

"That was impressive," Fitz stated, eyes wide, but appearing remarkably calm. "Never seen reaction time quite so fast."

"Captain Rogers," Jemma offered up and Fitz _hmmed_ in agreement.

"That's right, make it worse," Rinn complained, tone bitter and clearly upset. "I swear to you they are not Hydra."

"Then who are they?" I waved at the new additions to the watchlist out in the bar. "Six more and definitely interested in us."

Jemma shrugged. "Could be Rinn, you, or us, truth be told. Ignore them for now, we still have business to discuss."

I ran a hand over my face and tried to relax. "Son of a bitch,"I mumbled, needing to do something with the excess adrenaline now coursing through me.

Rinn slid the shot closer to me and I downed it without a second thought. It wouldn't do anything, but the act itself could be calming in some ways. The Irish whiskey she'd chosen turned out to be damned good and went down smooth. She then shoved food at me and I ate without really thinking about it. I'd gone beyond hungry at some point and proceeded to wolf down two plates of assorted munchies quickly.

Rinn wiggled and pulled what looked like an overclocked thumb drive from her pocket. "This should help with your new project." She slid it across the table to Fitz who took it with a nod of thanks.

A similar drive appeared in his hand and he gave it to her. "And with yours. I was wondering…"

She tucked the drive into her pocket then looked at him expectantly.

"Can you generate an artificial neural map?"

Rinn's face scrunched up as she thought about it. She took a sip of her shot before answering. "In theory, yes. In reality… you'd have to base it on an existing map. I mean there is a base layout to most maps, you could start there and then build upon it. Why?"

"Yes, why?" Jemma asked as she turned in her seat to face her partner, lips in a thin line.

"A personal project I was considering," he answered with a wave of his hand. "It's nothing, really." He leaned over to kiss Jemma on the cheek, but she didn't buy the distraction.

"Oh, don't even try it. What are you playing with?"

"Who's asking? Jemma or Simmons the SADIST?" He winced as soon as the words had left his mouth which I found almost as interesting as his emphasis on the word sadist.

She got a sour look on her face and nodded tightly. "I'll just excuse myself for a few minutes then shall I. Another round perhaps?"

Fitz didn't look more than a touch guilty which I found interesting.

"I'll go with you," I offered, not wanting to leave her alone if any of those we'd tagged were indeed after her.

"I'd appreciate that," she answered and Rinn immediately shifted to let me stand. Fitz, however, didn't move, forcing Jemma to scoot around the entire booth to get out.

Rinn gave me a tiny smile then sat back down, clearly not about to get in the middle of the borderline lover's quarrel. I watched the room, following behind Jemma as we waded through the crowd to get to the bar. She shoved her way to the front and flashed a hundred to get the attention of the nearest bartender. I watched the watchers, half of whom had turned to keep an eye on us, the others still watching the booth. And that told me nothing as to whom they were here for. We'd split the party wrong, but I would not let Jemma face them alone.

"Damn. I hoped they would be more obvious as to who they were watching."

I snorted in surprise. "Field agent?" I asked in soft voice.

"Not really, but given the reduced staff many of us have had to take on dual roles."

Made sense. It also made her potentially dangerous to me and Rinn. "Why are you doing this for Rinn?" Stupid question to ask maybe, as it would push the boundaries of the rules I knew she had been bound by.

"Not turn you in?"

I nodded.

"Laurin is a big girl and if she wants to help you, who am I to argue. Captain Rogers and the Howling Commandos are the reason SHIELD was founded, the fact that Hydra corrupted you has nothing to do with the man you were. Rinn sees the man you are and if she trusts that man I have no reason not to."

"But won't you get into trouble for not turning me in?" I blurted out like a fool.

"Turn you in for what, exactly? Last I checked you were her bodyguard, James, hired through Nomad Security. You aren't wanted for anything I am aware of."

As simple as that she made the worry churning away in my gut ease. At least where she and Fitz were concerned. If they were willing to turn a blind eye to the Winter Soldier in their midst who was I to argue the point. So, while waiting for our drinks I focused on the pair still in the booth. Rinn had shifted over beside Fitz and a tablet had come out.

I focused my hearing, the background noise defeating me on this occasion. I caught a few words, but not enough to fully understand their discussion. Rinn didn't look happy, a lot of head shaking; nothing that worried me over much. While obviously paying full attention to the discussion she still took the time to look over the room every few moments, eyes settling on those who had been tracking us. I didn't like this, but did not find the situation untenable quite yet.

Jemma turned about, four glasses in her hands, each half-full of the alcohol of choice. I took two from her earning a smile of thanks. "I think they've had enough alone time."

"Rinn wouldn't let him do anything stupid."

"Won't matter if he's already done it," she commented with a frown.

Fitz saw us approach and quickly changed the screen on the tablet, setting it aside. He and Rinn had moved all the way to the back to sit side by side. Jemma, still angry, sat next to Rinn leaving me to sit next to Fitz. Not that I cared unduly about who sat next to who, though I would have preferred being beside Rinn should the Soldier decide he could better handle the situation. We handed around the shots and I grabbed my beer from across the table.

Fitz sipped at the drink for a few minutes, casting glances in my direction, the tension practically visible in the air till Rinn broke it. "Oh, just ask him for heaven's sake."

"Ask me what?"

"Nothing," Fitz mumbled into his drink.

"Bullshit," Jemma said. "He wants to take a look at your arm."

I looked at Rinn who gave a half-shrug. "He's designed some truly impressive prosthetics for Coulson."

"It's not the original," I pointed out, but set my arm on the table and removed the glove. I'd left the arm the default color of dark gray, but changed it to a brown to blend in with the table top.

Fitz's eyes went wide at the color change. "May I?"

I nodded and he set his fingers on the back of my hand.

"Can you feel this?"

I nodded. "It's more sensitive than the original. Feels closer to my real hand. The old one felt pressure, hand more sensitive than the rest, but I _feel_ the entire arm now."

Fitz lifted the hand and turned it over to examine the palm. "How far does the arm go?"

"Entire shoulder joint has been rebuilt, connections run into the pectoral muscles and lats. Scapula has been over ridden, but is there beneath the metal. I used neural mapping to up the sensitivity level, but the base tech is Wakandan." Rinn sounded more than a touch proud of her contributions to my new arm and I couldn't blame her. They had done good work and if I couldn't have my original arm back, an improved one was the next best thing.

"Tech?" Jemma asked.

Rinn nodded. "In the forearm. Don't think he's played with it yet though."

"What?" I asked in confusion.

She laughed. "Chinese Fire Drill everyone."

I sat there stunned as she and Jemma slid out, Fitz shifting deeper into the booth. Jemma sat back down next to Fitz while Rinn stood beside me waiting.

"Take the jacket off," she told me.

"Why?" I shifted so she could sit beside me. "They'll see."

"They won't care." She sat down and tugged at the sleeve of the jacket. "Unless you managed to sneak a holster as well."

I shook my head and allowed her to help me out of the coat. The sleeve of the shirt more than long enough to hide the arm and the material thick enough to keep it from showing through even when in full chrome. I know, I'd tried, worried I'd get too warm in the sport coat and need to take it off at some point during the day. She unbuttoned the sleeve and slid it up to my elbow.

"I did give you the manual for this."

"And you expected him to read it?" Jemma questioned with pure sass in her tone.

"No, but I figured Steve might out of curiosity." She took my right hand into hers. "See the slightly larger scales here?" She outlined a three by two inch area on the inside of my forearm.

"Yes?" They had been there all along and I'd wondered why they were different, but hadn't thought it was of great importance.

"Watch." She took my hand, and using my forefinger and thumb touched two of the corners causing the entire section to light up.

"Oooo," Fitz said, leaning over to look at the screen now on my forearm. "Your nanobots overlaid on the alloy?"

She nodded. "Something new I've been testing out as a wearable. Doesn't quite work on skin, but on his arm? Perfect."

"Maybe if you use a liquid metal conductor on the the skin it would be more effective?" Jemma suggested.

I let their discussion filter across my senses, listening, but not really focusing on it. I tapped the screen bringing up a selection of… of apps for me to use similar to those that Sam had on his wrist gauntlet. I'd used that a couple times in training at Steve's orders - he wanted us cross-trained on each other's gear as much as possible - so I was easily able to scroll through the various items to see all the toys I had at my fingertips… literally.

"This has been here the whole time?"

"... neuro enhancement is fairly simple." She turned to me. "Yes."

"You didn't say anything to me."

"An instruction manual isn't enough?" Jemma responded with a grin.

"And you did try to avoid me as much as possible once we moved in together."

Fitz snorted and I judged both of them to have a decent buzz going by now. I tapped the corners, turned the screen off and tugged my sleeve back into place. Rinn handed me the glove and I slipped it back on. "I thought it would be for the best," I told her, part of me still certain of that.

"I know." She leaned forward to say into my ear. "Still hungry?"

I looked over at the denuded plates and nodded. I'd been eating light the last few days and could use some actual calories. "Yeah."

"Cool. I'll place an order before I hit the head."

"Oh, I'll join you." Jemma instantly slid out of the booth.

I set my hand on Rinn's arm wanting to tell her no, but seeing it could also be a good move to draw out those watching us. "Be careful."

She nodded and moved off towards the bar with Jemma's arm wrapped about one of hers.

"They'll be fine. Rinn is tough and Jemma is no slouch these days," Fitz assured me leaning back in the seat, eyes on the girls as much as mine were.


	18. Chapter 18

A quick glance at our watchers saw them split up again, some watching us, others actually following the girls, but keeping their distance. "Who the hell are they?" I muttered.

"Don't know. They're not in any of the databases I can access from here." He held up the tablet showing a facial rec program running on it with all those we'd tagged.

I wondered if I could do that on my arm. "You've worked with Rinn?"

"Some. She helps Coulson off the books now and then. Mostly we trade intel."

"Also off the books I'm betting."

He nodded. "Safer for her. She stepped away from SHIELD long before things went to hell, but there's a fair chance Hydra knows about her. Luckily, they don't seem to care."

Except now she was hanging around with me and Steve. One they hated beyond measure and one an asset they wanted to control. She could easily be used against us. Or us against her. Too late by far now, whether or not she wanted to believe it, she was in the game, too deep to escape.

And that meant, much as she had already figured out, the best way to keep her safe would be keeping us near to hand instead of distancing herself from those superheroes she'd always been adjacent to before.

When the girls came back out from the ladies room they were intercepted by a man around Rinn's age with black hair and a build that impressed even me. I endeavored to block all the other sounds out to intentionally eavesdrop on the conversation.

"Laurin, it's been years."

"TJ. I didn't expect to see you here," Rinn responded, the pleasant tone clearly forced.

TJ swooped in for a hug that she permitted with obvious reluctance and backed away as soon as he would let her. Jemma stood right by Rinn's side, but shot a look our way.

"Who is TJ?" I asked of Fitz.

He lifted his head, eyes locking on the girls. "Oh, that's not good."

"Speak."

"TJ is Rinn's ex. Dated her solely to steal her work and pass it off as his own. He got caught and put on academic suspension. She went on to earn two PHDs in the same year." He set the tablet down frowning. "I would recommend an intervention before she pulls his trachea out his sphincter."

I snorted, actually able to picture her doing that if angered enough. I got to my feet and worked my way over to them, where small talk still took place and the smile plastered on Rinn's face was patently fake. Jemma saw me coming and shifted to Rinn's right side allowing me to slip onto her left. TJ had a couple inches on me, but he also wore boots with noticeable heels, which made him far less impressive than he thought he was. And he most certainly thought he was impressive.

"Rinn, babydoll, I thought you were getting drinks?" I wrapped my arm about her waist and kissed her on the temple, staking a claim I had no right to, but felt like the best way to play this.

TJ took a step back in surprise, though I couldn't be certain why. The sneer that followed told me all I needed to know about the piece of shit standing in front of me.

"Well, I see your taste has gone down dramatically since I last saw you."

Jemma coughed into her hand, making it clear she knew all about this TJ as well.

Rinn laughed. "Oh, honey, I couldn't get any lower than you."

He scowled, turning his handsome face into something borderline dangerous. He had an agenda, one concerning Rinn. I quickly glanced about to see the watchers had melted away for the moment and that suggested this TJ had something to do with them. Or… or they didn't want to be seen by him. Could go either way and I did not have enough information to make that call just yet. His gaze locked with mine and then he did the look, head tipping down and then back up slowly, giving me a thorough once over.

Made me wish I'd grabbed the knife and stuffed it up my sleeve instead of leaving it in my boot, as I had the sudden urge to shove it up under his jaw and into his brain.

Presuming he had one, of course.

I trusted this guy about as far as Jemma could throw him. One handed.

His eyes narrowed at the end, his assessment finding me a threat to whatever he had planned here.

Smarter than he looked.

Not smart enough, though.

"And what do you do?" he asked of me.

Rinn answered, thankfully, as I hadn't planned on needing a cover story tonight. She, surprisingly, went for the truth. "Ex-military working for a private security company."

Okay, I could work with that.

TJ grinned. "Needed to downgrade the brains to make yourself feel smarter. Can't say I'm surprised."

Jemma choked on a laugh.

Rinn didn't bother to hide hers, though I could hear the animosity buried under the dulcet tones. "You have no clue what it takes to be a sniper do you? I can promise you his IQ tops the genius level by several digits. And he doesn't need to steal other people's work for his projects."

TJ's smile faded into a glower. "Of course you don't want the competition. You just keep making your little games and fade into obscurity."

Jemma lost it then. "Her little games? You do realize she's the guest of honor at this conference because of her most recent nanobot design, yes? Has envy completely destroyed what few brains cells you have left?"

I couldn't help it, I laughed and the man gave me a classic death glare. In that instant he wanted me dead and part of me really, _really_ wanted him to try something... anything. Just for the chance to put him down and leave him on the floor whimpering like the whiny little bitch he truly was.

Rinn got there first. "Try it, TJ. He won't have to lift a finger."

He seemed shocked at the vitriol in her voice and much to my amazement, backed down instantly. "Rinn, come on," he wheedled, "I just wanted to talk. The company I work for sent me to see if you'd consider joining our team."

"If Tony Stark can't convince me to merge what could your company possibly offer me?"

I hadn't known that. I doubted Steve did either, but I couldn't pretend surprise at the intel. Stark wanted to protect her as much as everyone else, even if she had become a pain in his ass. His words, not mine, but probably true. She walked a fine line between her friends, and now we'd added SHIELD into the mix. Too many players to possibly keep her safe. And these were just the good guys. We still hadn't figured out who the bad guys were, but TJ and his company just been added to the list officially.

"We would fund your research in toto. You wouldn't need to waste your time with silly, if impressive to some, games to keep the money flowing. You could just do research and design. Maybe figure out how to get the 'bots to work in living tissue effectively." The sickly sweet tone to his voice made me want to gag, and I could see the sour look on Jemma's face. She didn't buy this sales pitch any more than Rinn.

"You are clearly under the misapprehension that I need your money. And for the record my games improve my sim work, which people are more than happy to pay me fucktons of cash for." I could feel the tension thrumming through her and saw her left hand tighten into a fist.

But that anger worked against her as she now gave too much away. Granted the info easily available pretty much anywhere, but he had succeeded in egging her into speaking without thinking first, always a bad move. I leaned in, ostensibly to press a kiss to her temple and spoke softly in Russian. "Calm. He's goading you."

She turned her head and smiled slightly, switching to Romanian. "I'll calm down after I punch him in the nuts."

I got the hint that the man understood Russian and switched languages fluidly. "Well, it would probably be a benefit to the world if he never breeds, but not in so public a forum please."

She managed a snicker, the smile patently fake, green eyes still burning in fury. "Thank you."

Jemma intervened then. "We should rejoin our friend or he'll eat all the food."

I glanced over at the table to see that the food had indeed arrived, and Fitz taking advantage of the situation even as he casually watched the scene as it played out. I suspected he would have intervened if he thought it necessary, he did not seem the type to leave damsels in distress even if they could handle themselves more than ably. I nodded in agreement, and, with a bit of pressure on Rinn's back, got her moving towards our table, leaving TJ standing there.

"Nice seeing you, Rinn," TJ sneered with a wave of his hand.

He hadn't finished with her, but had wisely realized he would not get anywhere at the moment. Retreat and regroup. Smart. Too smart for a supposed nerd.

I made certain Rinn took the inside seat this time. They would be forced to go through me to get to her now.

"How many languages do you speak?" Jemma asked once we'd settled, Rinn chugging a beer as fast as she could manage in an effort to drown the ire still burning through her.

"Uh, easier to ask how many I don't. Why?" I liked that her interest was no more than that. My files were out there, how detailed I didn't know for certain, but I doubted the revamped SHIELD hadn't read them since Natasha had released them to the world at large. Of course, the files from the Siberian base were out there now as well, and those… those would be even more telling… and condemning.

Damning even.

"Sheer curiosity. Most can't switch between languages quite so easily. I know Rinn," she nodded to her friend who had turned to the hard liquor in a useless effort to cleanse her palate from the taste TJ had surely left in it, "practically collects them. Some weird twist in her brain that makes it insanely easy for her to learn new ones."

"It's just fancy coding," Rinn explained, then hiccuped from downing another beer too fast. "Ahh, I want to throttle him."

Fitz chuckled. "He'd probably enjoy it."

"Oh, gods above and below, I am so sorry you had to deal with that, James." Rinn knuckled one eye, actually appearing upset. I'd seen her angry on occasion, but it wasn't often she allowed her emotions out to play. Steve wore his heart on his sleeve so that anyone who had even a vague clue knew what was going on under that mop of blond hair, but not Rinn. She did her best to present a consistent and stable face for everyone, not wanting to burden them with her problems. Her being disowned by her family a prime example of that. We'd had no idea the  _issues_ stateside she'd so casually mentioned had involved her family all but ripping her heart out and stomping on it.

Steve had been upset as hell by that. The fact that it had happened and that she had not told them. Her life, her problem.

Not any more though.

"Why?"

"Because since you decided to play the gallant and pose as my… boyfriend, he's going to go after you. His ego will demand it." She sounded so frustrated and irritated and at her wits ends. "If I'd had any clue that he'd be here I would have said no." She sat back into the seat, slouching down until all but hiding in the corner.

"Don't be a fool. Just prove the bastard wrong, again," Fitz told her with Jemma nodding in agreement. "There's a reason he stole your work, he's probably just trying to do it again."

I thought about that for a long moment. If his company truly sent him to recruit her… that would be stupid, given the obvious animosity she held for him. So, while that might be the line he'd chosen to feed her, it wasn't the real reason he had made certain to run into her in such a public forum. "Who does he work for?"

Rinn shrugged. "Never cared enough to find out."

"A private think tank of some type. The info he provided for this conference does not go into details or give a name," Jemma told me, waving her phone about.

"Well, that's not very helpful," Fitz snarked. "We can look into it if you like?"

I shook my head. "I have resources." I set my hand on Rinn's leg. "You good?"

She sighed heavily. "Not really. Wishing I could actually get something beyond pleasantly buzzed about now. Though I suppose I should thank him, he is the reason I was able to start Cyko three years earlier than I had originally planned." She sat up eyes on the room. "Huh, they're back. How odd."

I followed her gaze to discover the six who had disappeared when TJ had made his move had indeed returned. "We need to split up, see who they're after."

"Food first," Jemma insisted. "Needn't make it obvious that we're onto them."

Not quite how I would have handled it, but the strategy not horrible either. We had come here so Rinn could speak with her friends, might as well finish that before playing bait. I filled a plate with a selection of snack foods and pushed it in front of Laurin along with my last shot. She looked to be needing it far more than I. Her tolerance nowhere near as high as mine and if roles were reversed I'd want those lines blurred for a little while as well. I would not permit her to overindulge, but so long as the three of us sat here I could grant her some release from the tension I could still feel.

I wondered if the fitness center had a heavy bag, she'd probably enjoy beating the shit out of one about now.

I shifted and nudged her with my arm. "Eat. Your two hours is almost up."

She grumbled under her breath and then sat up a bit. "What? Am I gonna turn into a pumpkin or something?"

Fitz raised an eyebrow in question. "Early meeting?"

She nodded, grabbed a nacho from the plate and bit into it far more forcefully than necessary making me grin and shake my head in amusement.

"How much sleep do you require?" Jemma asked, eyes flicking from me to Rinn and back again.

Rinn wagged a finger at her. "Hey, what did we agree on?"

Fitz snickered. "She can't help it. She's utterly fascinated by the Captain's unique metabolism. All of us have wondered how similar he," he nodded towards me, "is to the one success by Dr. Erskine."

Meaning Steve, of course.

I had to admit to wondering that myself. Some things were obvious: increased strength and endurance, increased density of muscle and bone tissue - no chance a normal human could support the modifications done for the cybernetic arm, the damn thing just too heavy. Not needing to sleep more than a couple hours every week or so, upped caloric intake requirements. Enhanced senses across the board. Increased reflexes and mental processing. I wasn't smarter per se, but could process one hell of a lot faster.

Biggest difference? Aside from the cybernetic arm, I hadn't been physically altered the way Steve had. I looked essentially the same. Yes, I could gain or lose muscle/weight depending on how hard I worked out, but otherwise my appearance had remained unchanged since I fell off that train in 1944.

"Not a clue. Neither of them will let me run a full genetic breakdown on them. Base physical improvements are similar, but not identical. Unlike Steve, there were no overt improvements in height or muscle. Increase in density and mass, yes, but overall he's the same." She ran a hand through her hair, clearly warming up to the subject. One I hadn't known she'd studied in any detail. "We know Howard used his vita-rays in conjunction with the serum, that clearly made a difference. And we suspect James was… modified more than once. I haven't managed to score a full copy of his files yet. When I do we'll better understand how they managed the modifications."

"Zola," Fitz muttered, "using the Red Skull formula."

I shuddered unexpectedly, not wanting those particular memories to rise to the surface. Working in that factory, knowing the weapons we were being forced to build would end up hurting allies… Then getting sick, being culled from the herd, and taken to that room where he, Zola had… had…

"James, are you all right?"

I blinked. Recognizing the woman across from me as a friend of Laurin's. "Fine."

"No, you're not." Fitz, Leopold Fitz, though I didn't recall Laurin introducing him by that name, stared at me with concern in his eyes.

I turned my head to confirm the targets in the main bar where they still pretended to blend in. All of them taking care to seem uninterested in us sitting in the back booth. They wanted someone here, but I still could not be certain which of us. I did not think they would come after us here, but swiftly put together a plan that would take them out quickly and allow me to get Laurin to safety. The damage to the bar and the other patrons higher than she would like, but preferable to her being taken.

Rinn twined her fingers about mine, my head snapping about to stare at our hands for a long moment before meeting her eyes, her pupils blown wide, the alcohol doing it's job to some degree. "Hey, you."

Color flooded back into my world as those green eyes filled with worry bored into mine. "Hey," I echoed, realizing what had just happened. Apparently, the Soldier had become fully capable of stepping in when I couldn't handle reality any longer. I rubbed my thumb along the side of her hand, thankful she'd had the presence of mind to see that the monster had come out to play. I hadn't considered that she'd be able to banish him so simply. Made sense though, she was the anchor, she was the one I needed… wanted… _had_ to protect no matter the cost.

Fuck.

I cupped her face with my hand and set my forehead against hers, the one thing that always seemed to satisfy that need for her and it helped, but not enough, not this time. I wanted more, wanted drown in her, taking in as many breaths as I could even as I sank deeper into the depths.

She would be my air and keep me alive and whole.

"Soldat?"

"I'm good," I assured her, wondering if she would know it for the lie it was, "but I think it's time to see what our friends want."

"Agreed." Fitz set the tablet down on the table, the angle bad, but I could see he'd still been running the facial rec on our friends.

Rinn's phone gave off a subtle tone that I doubted anyone other than she and I would hear. I picked it up and handed it to her.

"Time's about up," she informed us. "App chews up a lot of battery."

"Turn it off, I believe we can manage to keep the conversation boring and dull for, say, twenty minutes, then we'll split up." Jemma poured the last of the lighter beer into her glass.

I liked these two, they knew what they were doing and hadn't even glanced at me sideways. They trusted Rinn enough to trust me, at least in the short term. Rinn switched the app off and tucked the phone away. I don't know how she managed to juggle so many balls at the same time, but I had to admit she did it well.

We killed time, finished off the food, and made certain the waitress had been tipped exceedingly well. Rinn covering it, though the others protested. I had no money of my own, and the SHIELD agents… well government pay always sucked and Rinn made no bones about the amount of money she had. She didn't flaunt it, but she didn't pinch pennies either. Steve had worried about the amount of money she had spent to start up Nomad for us. Plus relocating all her people to Austria with minimal downtime for Cyko. The low estimates Steve had come up with involved numbers I would have never thought possible when I'd been a kid in Brooklyn.

I had begun to wonder over the last few weeks if my need… my longing for her might actually be more.

Might actually be real.

But until she had been removed as the anchor I couldn't be sure. Before the neural mappings and the block for the programming I hadn't trusted her even the tiniest bit. I'd relied on Steve's trust in her to keep my patience and permit her to do the one thing a I feared the most: turn me into The Winter Soldier.

Not once, but three times.

And she had never abused the privilege.

Steve had been the idiot the first time, when she had told me to protect her, I had, even from my friend, clocking him a good one or two before Rinn had yanked on my leash and taken back control.

I hadn't laid a finger on her.

I doubt I could even if I feared for my life.

At least not in any way that would do her harm.

I finished off my drink, surveyed the room, and got to my feet. "We'll kill some time out on the balcony." I held out my hand for Rinn to take and she scooted around the booth to stand next to me.

"And we will head out, see who ends up with unexpected guests." Jemma pulled Rinn into a fierce hug. "Lunch tomorrow?"

Rinn nodded. "I'll make time. And you-"

"What now?" Fitz mock-complained, swooping in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Take care of her."

He gave her a broad smile. "I will." Then he turned to me. "I expect Laurin to remain undamaged."

I felt my back go straight at hs tone. "I'll do everything I can, but she doesn't often listen to orders."

Jemma snorted. "No, I don't imagine she does." She nodded to Fitz and they made their way to the front entrance of the bar.

I reached back into the booth, grabbed my jacket and flung it over my shoulder, then took Rinn's left hand in my right. I wanted to keep the stronger arm free if needed. I led her through the crowd, out a set of french doors and onto the wide balcony. I scored us a corner that had an amazing view of the city and the night sky overhead.

"This shouldn't take long," I informed her, tipping my head down to speak into her ear and keeping up the pretense that we were together.

"I'm in no rush, James." She shifted, back to the railing and looked me right in the eyes, only a thin ring of green about the black pupil gone wide to take in any available light. "They split up again, three on us."

"Well, that's no help," I complained, shifting to see for myself. They hadn't been bold enough to follow us outside, but had arranged themselves in such a way that we would need to walk past at least one of them when we left. "So, is it you or me they're after?"

She shrugged. "Does it matter? They are not going to make a move here, so let's spend five minutes just being ourselves, shall we?"

I liked that idea far more than could be good for either of us, so I shook my head. "We can't afford distractions."

"I'm always a distraction for you. To the point where you let the Soldier out so you can hide."

How did I keep managing to forget how observant she could be? Of course she had noticed, much like she had at the table and she had been the one to bring me back when the memories had forced me into hiding. This could be a problem, especially if she told Steve. "What do you want?" I growled.

"Down boy." She set her hand against my cheek and I fought the urge to turn my head and kiss her palm. "I don't intend to tattle. I just-"

"You just what?" I intended it to sound angry, but it came out breathless much to my chagrin. Distraction far too simple a term for the feelings that surged through me. I hated Steve. Hated the position he'd put me in here.

She shook her head, looking down at the ground between our feet. "Never mind," she mumbled.

Of fucking course. She didn't really want to be here, to be put into this role of playing girlfriend. I had been a fucking fool to play it that way in front of TJ, but at the time it had made sense and felt right. Too right, which is why it should have been my last choice. I should have just been the big bad bodyguard, an act that permitted me to detach from the emotions I seemingly had no real control over.

No wonder the Soldier came out to play when around her for too many hours. Safer for her in some ways, as I would indeed become sidetracked by even the smallest things. Her hair, the classic profile, the hint of a smirk when she'd turn to look back at me playing the badass. The scent of her in my nostrils.

Oh god, I was so fucking fucked up.

I took a step back. "I got it. Bodyguard only."

Her head snapped up. "It's not that." She bit her lip in a way I found far too endearing to be healthy for me. "I didn't mind that part at all."

_Uh, what?_ There could be zero chance she actually liked me, right? She gave me what I needed, assisted with the crossed wires that had occurred during the programming block and nothing more, right? No one could actually be interested in me, not after all I had done, after all the atrocities I had committed.

"But I get it, you only did it because of the glitch."

"No," I said.

"No? No what?" She sounded both confused and hopeful.

I wish I had a clue how to answer her. "Just no," I explained with a heavy sigh.

She managed a wry chuckle. "Oh, we are a pair. I hide my emotions so thoroughly people don't think I have any and yours are so screwed with you can't tell if they are real or not."

"And that's supposed to help how?"

"Help? Not likely. You hate being dependent on me to keep you balanced, it's why you've been avoiding me." She shifted to look out over the city. "And I've let you."

I had to admit that part to be true. She had not sought me out except at Steve's direct request and those meetings had been both pain and peace. Calming the roiling emotions and memories for a time, while only adding to the desperation to be within the light of her sun at all moments and just bask. "Why then?" I managed, though my voice sounded more like a growl than words.

"Because I knew you didn't want it, didn't want me, not really, and I am the last person who will force you into anything. Especially spending time with me."

_Especially spending time with…_ What the hell had been done to her that she thought herself of so little worth? I'd met a lot of people over the decades, many of them women and been impressed, in one way or another, by quite a few of the, but Rinn, steadfast, uncompromising, and loyal Rinn, had quickly risen to near the top. If anyone deserved to be called unworthy it should fall heavily upon my shoulders and far, _far_ from hers.

I don't know how she knew what had been running through my mind, but she turned about, my head tipped down this time, shoulders hunched in an effort to hide. Hide my guilt, hide the horror of my life, just fucking hide from the world.

"I know you still don't feel worthy, that you think you don't deserve to be saved, but you do. You, above so many others, deserve a respite from your wounds and to feel safe and… and loved."

I shuddered at her words, understanding the true meaning of them and not taking them in a too personal to be possible context. "I don't think-"

"Not thinking would be an excellent plan about now," she cut in, then before I could even begin to formulate a protest she kissed me.

Not fair. Not the least little bit fair, but after the shock wore off, so quickly that it seemed no time had passed at all, I buried my hands into her hair and let go my hold on those emotions, false as they may have been, and let myself fall.

I never even felt the splash as I hit the water and sank within the depths. Her lips soft and pliable beneath mine, permitting me to take control, and all but ravage her mouth with teeth and tongue. I felt her hands settle on my hips, drawing me in closer with a tiny sound that bordered on a whimper of desperation, of actual need… of me.

I pulled back then, resting my forehead against hers, heart racing in my chest, wondering just when the hell she'd stupidly decided to _like_ me. To care beyond the friendship that Steve had claimed to be all she had expected from me.

"No thinking," she declared, making me huff out a breath in amusement.

I responded by brushing her hair back and biting her gently on the neck before discovering a spot behind her ear that all but caused her legs to fold in response.

"Time to leave." The words rough and vibrating against the side of her throat in a way that made her shudder and go boneless. I pulled back, unable to stop the lingering look down, the deeply plunging shirt offering me a tease of what lay beneath, the curve of both breasts visible to my sight. My fingers twitching with the desire to trace lightly across the skin.

"We've bored our babysitters, apparently."

Even moaning softly in clear enjoyment, she still had remained aware of those that could put us into danger. Natasha had clearly had a bigger hand in her training than Steve thought. "That might not be a good thing."

She dug her hands into my hair and pulled until she forced me to lift my head and look her in the eyes. "All the more reason to get out of here. PDAs I can handle, sex in public not so much."

My mouth went completely dry at those words. Were we actually going to do this? I wanted to, no point in denying that, but also did not want to fuck up the relationship we already had by making a strategic error at this juncture. "Rinn…"

"No thinking, remember. Besides, I have an early meeting."

Oh, the little smartass. "You cheat."

She shrugged. "So do you. Now how do you want to play this?"

Of course my mind went in the wrong direction at the word play, and it made her smile in a way I hadn't seen before and it… it made her beautiful in a way I hadn't expected. "How about two slightly drunken lovers heading back to their room."

"Pfft. No fun, that's what we are."

I swallowed with some difficulty as I swung an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close to me and trying to not noticed how she seemed to fit just right, though without the heels that made us nearly the same height it'd be perfect, tucked right in under my shoulder, her body firm against mine. And that brought up new images, one involving far fewer clothes and a soft mattress beneath her back, the sheets balled up in her fists, head thrown back in ecstasy.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath.

"Soon, I hope."

I laughed. "You are a horrible person, you know that?"

"Yep. Is that gonna be a problem?"

"Nope," I assured her, leaning in for a quick kiss before encouraging her into forward motion. We still had to make our way out of here and back to our rooms, two buildings away from this one. Part of the entire complex, but not near enough for multiple reasons right now.

We made it halfway through the bar, before being forced apart, still holding hands, but her behind me due to the increased crowds. Seemed nerds drank just as much as anyone else.

In the comparatively clear area before the exit TJ appeared right in front of me and I admonished myself for not paying better attention. I had been looking for our watchers, but they had vanished completely, and with the reappearance of TJ, made me more seriously wonder if they did indeed answer to him.

Rinn sidled up next to me as I stopped dead, debating the merits of just shoving past him. Instead I plastered on a pleasant smile. "How can we help you?"

"I would like a moment alone with Rinn," he said in a terse tone.

"Not gonna happen," she told him, voice far calmer than I had expected.

"Five minutes," he wheedled, pulling out all the stops including a brow wrinkled in confusion and puppy eyes.

Rinn just laughed at him. "There is nothing you can say that would be of even vague interest to me."

"You haven't heard the offer yet," he argued, a sickly sweet smile making his features look like a that of a madman from a horror movie.

"And I don't intend to," she informed him, voice tight, not wanting any part of him or his mysterious benefactors. She moved forward intending to push past him, not thinking of anything beyond her need to be away from him.

TJ's hand came up to stop her and I quickly shoved my left arm in the way, preventing him from touching her. I felt _something_ hit the metal of my forearm. Something other than his hand. I glanced down, noting the large ring he wore on his middle finger, then up at his face with a look of consternation on it. I let the Soldier out for a second and TJ quickly stepped back, hand dropping down and staying in clear view.

"Hey, I'm not looking for trouble here." He had the tone down pat, sounding put upon and with just a touch of fear. All fake if I were any judge.

"Then don't touch her without her permission," I stated that loud enough for those who had focused on me as the cause of the trouble to switch to TJ. Consent, I had learned, had become a cause fought for and the majority of the bar would probably rush to Rinn's defense should TJ even glance at her sideways again.

He backed down instantly. "My apologies." He nodded towards Rinn but kept his eyes on me. Smart man. His hand dove into the pocket of his jacket and came out with a business card. "Just take my card, in case you want to reconsider."

"If it'll get you to leave me alone, fine." She took the card and tucked it into the rear pocket of her jeans. "Happy?" she sneered.

"Ecstatic," he told her, with a smarmy smile on his face. God I hated him almost as much as Steve right about now. "Have a good night." He moved aside, disappearing into the crowd.

I could feel how wired he had left Rinn. "Let's get out of here," I whispered into her ear, hoping my nearness would encourage her to calm a bit.

"Good plan." She led the way, out into the main hall and towards the bank of elevators that would get us back to the ground floor.

I made her wait for an empty car while watching the hallway closely, expecting to be followed. Once inside and heading down I looked at my arm, spotting the damp patch and tiny, almost invisible hole in my shirt sleeve.

"What?"

"TJ tried to drug you."

She stared at me in confusion for a long moment. "What?"

I showed her the area on my sleeve, thankful I'd put my left arm up, not wanting to discover how my metabolism would react to whatever had been in that ring.

"That little cockwaffle," she snarled.

My eyes went wide at that… unique epithet. "I'm fine," I assured her, impressed by the anger that radiated off her.

"We need to get back to the room. Need to figure out what it was and who the fuck he works for." She pulled out her phone and began tapping quickly.

"What are you doing?"

"Warning FitzSimmons in case TJ or his flunkies go after them as well."

Hard to argue with that. "Tell them the drug is in the ring on his right hand.

She nodded, typed a bit more then hit send and tucked the phone away. Then she shifted, her forehead against my shoulder, chest pressed against mine, shaking. I wrapped my right arm about her in surprise. "Hey, it's going to be okay."

"I hate this spy shit," she mumbled into my shoulder.

"Then you shouldn't be so damned good at it," I informed her, earning a chuckle for my reward. I buried my face into her hair and breathed in deep, soaking in the scents that made up her. The mood hadn't been lost, just dampened a bit due to the exigencies of the situation.

Then the elevator came to a halt and the doors opened.


	19. Chapter 19

We got back to the rooms in decent time, taking every care we could while still playing our roles. Fair bet TJ knew something was up given he'd nailed me with the contents of that ring. What I didn't know was if he realized he had missed, technically, and why. I doubted he knew who I really was, hoped he didn't know who I really was. He had probably been expecting me to be out cold or twitching on the floor within minutes of leaving the bar.

I wished I had back up on this. I… we needed eyes on TJ, but there was no one. I had to rely on myself, just like the last couple of years. Preparing for the moment when they would come for me. Never living in the same place for more than a few months at a time, always looking over my shoulder, never trusting anyone I met. Never making friends because how could I trust them? Hydra had only been broken, not yet dead. And all it would take, much as Zemo had proven, is the right words and I would do anything anyone told me to.

I would lose what little I had gained since the destruction of the Triskelion in D.C.

I'd been okay with my life, the pieces I had managed to put back together. The freedom I had earned.

Then Steve fucking Rogers had walked back into my life.

And _nothing_ had been the same since.

But this time I had to keep Laurin safe as well, and while smart and not half bad at the spy thing, it had never been her life, which made her a liability. I would need to work twice as hard to make certain situation went our way.

We went into Rinn's room where she bustled about, gathering assorted bits from the travel bags she'd brought with her. She ended up before me with a scarily sharp knife - she hadn't been kidding about having her own - and an evidence bag. I wondered if she always carried some or if it she just happened to pack them for this trip.

"Gimme that arm."

I lifted it up, unable to contain the grin at the serious look on her face. She proceeded to use the knife to cut a square around the area where the drug had been unsuccessfully injected, ruining a perfectly good shirt . Using the tip of the knife she slipped it into the evidence bag and sealed it. After closing the knife she took it and the bag and put them on the desk next to her laptop, which she opened and powered up.

"Do you always carry evidence bags around?" I moved to stand next to her while the machine went through it's startup routine.

"Uh, no? Though in this case yes. I found them when unpacking. They've been in there for over a year. Haven't used that particular bag in a while." She flipped on the light over the desk. Without a word she grabbed my left hand and slid up the sleeve, dragging my arm closer to the light. "I don't see any damage."

"Would there be any?" I questioned, assuming not much could penetrate the vibranium alloy the arm had been made out of. "It wasn't an acid or anything."

"We don't know what it was," she reminded. "I should run a diagnostic."

"It's fine." I assured her, wiggling the fingers and then making a fist.

"Still, better safe than sorry." She flipped my arm over and tapped the section with the hidden tech, making my forearm light up. "Off with the shirt," she ordered.

"Uh, okay?" Since there seemed to be no hope of distracting her from completing the diagnostic, I went with it. I stepped away, unbuttoning the shirt and tossing it through the open doors separating our rooms to land on the bed in a crumpled heap.

I turned about to see her standing there staring at me, her eyes wide. "What the hell?"

"What?"

She walked over to me and ran her fingers along the scar tissue where the cybernetic arm met flesh. "Does it hurt?" she asked in hushed tones.

I shivered at her touch, the area an odd mix of extreme sensitivity and dead spots, the nerves long since burnt out and destroyed or so heightened even the lightest of touches could be wincingly painful. "All the time," I answered honestly, perhaps for the first time ever. "You've never seen my arm before?" Since she had been part of the design team, using the neural map she'd created to give my arm the sensitivity I currently enjoyed, I had just presumed she'd seen everything. Had been there when the new arm had been attached if only to make certain that the neural connections functioned correctly. Hell, run a diagnostic, since she seemed so fond of those at the moment, and I doubted that to be a new modus operandi for her. Her games weren't the best on the planet because she overlooked even the tiniest piece of potentially flawed data.

"Photos. Videos, but not up close." She walked behind me and I rotated my head to follow. Her fingers still running lightly over the scarred tissue. She probed gently here and there, feeling the rippled and damaged muscles under her palm. I tried my best to ignore the sensations her touch created not just in my shoulder but elsewhere. "They didn't care about the man at all, did they?"

"No. They didn't." She lifted her eyes to meet mine, then leaned in to press her lips against my back, along the edge of the scar tissue, teeth digging in just enough for me to feel it.

I sucked in a startled breath, certain she had no interest in finishing what we had started back at the bar. In fact, it would probably be smart to not permit that particular distraction to steal our attention away.

However, I've never claimed to be smart.

I spun about, buried my hands in her hair and kissed her. Much to her amusement, apparently, as she managed to laugh even as I attempted to keep her lips busy. She shoved at my chest to put some space between us.

"What?" I complained, praying she hadn't changed her mind, but would not place any pressure on her to continue.

"I need five minutes." The she bit her lip as her gaze roved over my torso. "Christ," she muttered, at a guess appreciating the view now that she'd taken a moment to actually look at me without the concern of TJ's attempt being at the forefront of her mind.

She sucked in a deep breath and waved in the direction of my room. I took the hint, leaving her alone and oddly thankful when she didn't close the door. I heard her moving about while I scooped up the shirt and tossed over the back of the chair before the desk that I hadn't even looked twice at. I had a tablet and the phone, but aside from reading on the tablet had no real need of either. I considered shooting a text or email to Steve, giving him a heads up that things had gone sideways here, but figured it would wait. Reasonably confident Rinn and I could handle the situation as it stood.

I took the phone out of my pocket, made sure the alarm was set for far too early in the morning and placed it in the charging base on the nightstand. I noticed the tech on my arm had been left on and tapped the corners to darken it, doubting she had any intention of finishing that diagnostic right now. Hearing movement behind me I shifted to see Rinn just shutting the door to her room.

"Everything all right?" I had no idea why she'd needed those few minutes and knew better to ask. Some questions you just didn't ask, especially of a woman. While mostly rubbed away, those rules that had been taught to me by both my mom and the army, still deeply ingrained. For the most part women these days didn't want all the gentlemanly trappings all the time, but that didn't mean the urge to hold that door open had gone away.

"Yes. Just wanted to put that drive in the safe and take off the boots." She wiggled her bare toes in the thick rug. She ducked her head down, cheeks reddening in the dim light of the room, suddenly shy.

I couldn't blame her, this hadn't exactly been planned, except, maybe by Steve. So I did the idiotically right thing and gave her a way out. "We… you…" Well that had gone horribly wrong from the get go.

My turn to suck in a deep breath and blow it out to a slow count of ten in an effort to drum up some courage. This had been complicated enough without acting upon the feelings that made me want to scoop her up, toss her on the bed and spend hours exploring every inch of her, mind, body, and soul. "You can change your mind."

"So can you," she countered. She stuffed her hands into her pockets and did everything she could to not meet my eyes.

I debated for a moment. Several, in fact. Long, _long_ moments where I fought the conflicting needs, emotion versus logic. Logic dictated I not let this proceed, to continue to rely on her no more than necessary, mostly due to the concerns that these emotions were not and never would be real. The flip side of that wanted me to take whatever she would permit me and enjoy every second of it for however long it might last. I shrugged. "What happens at con stays at con?"

Her head popped up, mouth open in amazement. "Well, someone's been learning the modern lingo."

I grinned. Stupid commercials, but that had definitely broken the building tension in the room.

"And what if I don't want that?"

"I'd argue you have no idea what you're getting into. Sam's right, I'm old, so fucking old, and tired, and screwed up, and… it's not a burden you need to carry."

She nodded slowly. "You're right."

My heart dropped to smash to the floor between my feet. I couldn't blame her. Wouldn't blame her. No one should be stuck with me, not in my currently bipolar condition.

Then she lifted her chin. "But it's one I'm willing to."

I strode to stand in front of her. "You're a fool," I told her, using my right hand to twine her hair around my fingers. The silky feel of the strands oddly pleasurable. Then I leaned in to press my lips against her temple. "No thinking?"

"Probably for the best, really," she murmured, hands settling against the muscles of my stomach, running lightly across the skin and damn near making me squirm in reaction. I had never been overly ticklish, but my my sensitivity had been cranked up by the serum. Then her lips pressed against the hollow of my throat, her tongue hot against my skin and I came to the only decision possible. Scooping her up in my arms I carried her to the bed and lay her gently down.

"Last chance to back out," I told her, voice little more than a throaty growl of need.

"Shut up and kiss me."

Like a good soldier I followed her orders.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

I dreamt of fire and smoke.

Not unusual, really, as there had been many occasions in my life where I'd been surrounded by flames, lungs choked with black smoke, and my ability to see reduced to less than nothing. I'd survived all of it, somehow, even those times I thought I wouldn't.

And those I did not wish to.

This time I stood high above the factory floor. The Red Skull and Zola had just escaped and Steve, Steve fucking Rogers, who looked the same and yet different, had just dragged my ass out of Zola's personal torture chamber, stood across the open space, trapped, with no way to get cross the distance. Going back down wouldn't work, fire and smoke filled the entire floor, consuming everything in its inexorable path, explosions still going off and shaking the entire structure in a manner that boded ill for it remaining intact for much longer.

" _No. Not without you,"_ I shouted over the noise and the heat. Who knew fire could be so loud, a searing, crackling white noise that surely drowned out my voice.

Steve bent the railing out of the way with an ease that shocked the hell out of me. Weak, sickly, little Steve now bending steel as if it were soft taffy. Not possible.

And yet… and yet he had done exactly that.

He backed up, preparing to build up some speed and launch himself across the void. Certain death, if not from the fall, then from the fires that burned below with a ferocity I had never before seen.

He jumped legs windmilling, shield on his back, the fires rising up to meet him and… he vanished into them.

Then he reappeared and I stretched out to catch him, the light of the flames glinting off the bright chrome of my arm. With an easy grace I closed my left hand about his throat, his hands coming up to wrap about my wrist in a vain attempt to get me to release my grip. He dangled there, his only hope to survive my inexorable hold on him. I squeezed, feeling muscles collapse under my fingers, his eyes rolling back in his head as his trachea collapsed, unable to take in air any longer. I continued to clench my hand, fingers digging into the flesh until I could feel the bones of his spine against their tips.

I opened my hand slightly and then with a quick movement made it into a fist, feeling the bones crumble easily in my hand.

His body instantly went limp.

Hands dropped to his sides and dangled there, lifeless and of no interest to me any longer.

I let go, the body dropping through the smoke and flames to the factory floor far below.

The only sound of his passing a soft thud when he hit.

 

I twitched awake, sprawled on my stomach, head turned so that I saw only the curtained windows of the room.

The hotel.

The conference.

Laurin.

As other senses kicked in I felt fingers atop my right hand and rotated to see Rinn asleep beside me.

Well, shit.

I heard movement and slowly shifted so that I could scan the room, only to discover it to be empty, as expected. And yet, I could hear what sounded like soft footsteps from nearby. I focused on the door connecting the two rooms. My side still swung wide, hers, not quite fully shut, red light bleeding in through the gaps.

That was not normal.

I focused my hearing and quickly made out a voice muttering under his breath in her room.

Definitely not normal.

He did not sound happy about the fact that she was nowhere to be found.

He shifted items about, looking for something, but I had no idea what. I heard soft taps of her keyboard, along with grumbles as he failed to gain access, her security defeating him.

What the hell could he be after?

Rinn shifted and I turned to see her eyes come open. I put a finger to my lips and she nodded. The I slid out of the bed and moved to stand at the door, listening intently to best determine where in the room the intruder was. Soft footfalls passed by the door and I shoved it open, slamming it into the stranger's shoulder hard enough to earn a vocal swear and spin him about.

He recovered quickly, and swung at me. I ducked, punched him in the solar plexus, causing him to double over as all the air in him left in a whoosh. He turned out to be tougher than he looked, even with his ability to inhale currently compromised he dodged my next swing and managed a decent kick at my groin. I got my left arm in the way and he yelped in surprise when he connected, probably breaking his toes. He hopped back, only able to put partial weight on that foot.

When I came for him he went for my throat with stiffened fingers. I let them land, the pain a minor inconvenience, and grabbed his wrist. With an effortless twist of my body I had him a choke hold. My left arm pressing against his neck, his hands clawing at the metal of my arm, which I could feel, but didn't care about.

"You might want to leave him alive."

I turned my head to see Rinn standing in the doorway wearing my shirt, only a single button done, at roughly breast level to give her some semblance of modesty. The slimeball who'd decided to invade her room most certainly had not earned the right to see as much as he could now, never mind the glory I knew to be beneath.

My gun in her right hand.

Well, fuck, she certainly knew how to impress a fella.

I shifted my grip from a full choke, to one that would cut off his air and knock him out for a few minutes. "Hey, where'd you get that?"

"You hid it in the same place I did mine. Under the mattress on your preferred side. "Sorry, didn't know you were a right side sleeper." She grabbed the office chair with one hand and rolled it over for me to settle the now unconscious man in.

"Got anything to tie him up with?"

"Uh, maybe?" She went to her bags and sorted through two before coming up with a couple pairs of nylons. "This do?"

I shrugged. "It should work well enough." I took them and tied him most thoroughly to the chair; torso, arms and ankles. He would not be going anywhere in the near future.

I turned around to see her eyeing me like a prize bull at an auction. She licked her lips and failed to meet my eyes for nearly a minute.

"Problem?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Not at all."

See, I hadn't exactly been dressed when I'd woken up in bed and most certainly hadn't taken the time to do so before dealing with the idiot who'd decided to break into Rinn's room.

At a guess she appreciated the view.

Our new friend groaned and lifted his head slowly. He didn't seem to see anything about the room at first as he struggled against the bonds holding him in place.

"Perhaps you should be paying attention to our guest?" I suggested, waving at the dark complected man tied to the chair.

"Guest would imply he had been invited. I know I didn't, did you?" She managed to swing her attention to him, but her skin had flushed over to pink and I could smell her arousal in the air.

"Nope. So, if you didn't invite him and I didn't invite him, I have to wonder what he was doing in your room." I didn't move, but by the end my voice had taken on a dangerous tone and he swallowed hard, staring up at me. "Especially since he was trying to access your computer."

His eyes flicked from me to her, the red light of his flash, which had fallen to the floor during the struggle, still the only illumination, not that Rinn or I really needed it, both of us could see in near pitch black darkness with relative ease.

"Oh really?" She took a few steps forward, pressing the muzzle of the gun to his temple.

He snorted. "You shouldn't point a gun at someone if you don't intend to use it."

"You are so right," she said, sounding like the blonde she actually was. I knew, I'd checked, blonde through and through I could say with certainty. One would be convinced she didn't have two brain cells to rub together based on tone alone.

I knew better.

She shifted target to his knee and was within a millisecond of pulling that trigger when I set a hand on her arm. "Too noisy."

She pouted. "Don't care."

I pulled her away, though not far. "There must be another option."

She cocked her head for a long moment as she thought about it. "Shooting him would give me great pleasure."

His eyes went wide. Her soft, sweet voice the total opposite of the violence I could see in her eyes.

I might be big and scary, but he'd finally realized she was fucking dangerous when riled.

I had to admit to being impressed myself.

Little wonder SHIELD had wanted to keep her on the payroll no matter what.

"Rinn, think first then act," I admonished, but with care. Didn't want her shooting me in a fit of pique.

"I won't talk," he insisted, his voice accented, but different from the local tongue. His English good, but also making it clear he was not a native.

"You already have," I snarked. If he'd been smart he would never have a said a single word, instead he had chosen to be mouthy and piss Rinn off, which meant she would go at him until she got something, even if it ultimately led nowhere. "Might as well keep going."

He frowned, but wisely did not utter a single word.

Or, perhaps not so wisely as dark anger clouded Rinn's eyes. She stepped in front of him and tapped the top of his head with the barrel of the gun hard enough to make him flinch and for me to hear the solid thunk of metal to bone. "I know TJ sent you after me, question is who does _he_ work for?"

Now I found that most interesting. Yes, it would be a fair assumption that TJ had been involved somehow, given his insistence on talking to her and that attempt to drug her at the bar, but this guy had not been one of the mooks watching us last night, which could suggest a new player in the game.

Mr. Strong and Silent just shook his head, lips pressed into a thin line suggesting he would not be opening his mouth any time in the near future.

She settled back a step watching him with narrowed eyes. Then she turned about, going back to her bags and came up with a pair of socks that had been balled together. "Open up," she ordered in a sing-song voice as she pressed the muzzle on the underside of his chin.

"Rinn-"

She dropped the gun to his crotch hard enough to make him yelp and the instant his mouth opened the sock went in. Then she casually tossed the gun onto the bed, the safety on, I noted idly, and turned to me. "C'mere."

I didn't argue, but had no idea what she had in mind. She took my left arm and powered up the computer in my forearm. Scrolling through the settings she stopped on an icon that looked like a lightning bolt, which she tapped.

"Do this." She pressed her forefinger and thumb together and I followed suit with mine, creating a static spark between my two fingers.

I glanced over at our guest, whose eyes had gone big and round in actual fear, and smiled.


	20. Chapter 20

Turned out our uninvited guest hadn't known much at all. He'd been hired by one of the men who'd been watching us in the bar based on the detailed description he'd told us in a raspy, tear filled voice. And while we suspected they worked for TJ we did not _know_ with any certainty.

When I mentioned that to Rinn she had shot a look at me that made me feel like a total gink, so I could only wonder what she had learned that I had clearly missed.

"How did he find my room?" she sneered and I went eerily still at that question.

She had a damned good point. I'd made certain that our location had been kept as unknown as possible, only the security at the conference fully aware of which rooms we had taken and even then we met them downstairs, not at the rooms. Anyone could probably figure out the hotel, but the room would be challenging especially considering the jammer I had brought along that would scramble the camera feeds in the hallways.

Yeah, a decent hacker could work around it, but this guy did not have the brains to do that. He was a hired gun and no more. I ran through the evening, reasonably certain no one had followed us back to the hotel, we'd taken every precaution I could manage. Which left... "Where's TJ's card?"

She waved over at the desk and found it in the trash can, pretty much confirming Rinn's interest in his offer. I picked it up, noting the heavier than normal stock it had been printed on. I grabbed her knife and flipped on the desk lamp, and began carefully peeling the paper apart to find what I feared, a tiny tracking device embedded in the card stock.

"Shit," I muttered. I placed it between the fingers of my left hand, intending to crush it, but Rinn shook her head.

She dove back into her bags and came up with one of those RFID resistant cases. "I want to pick it apart later, can't do that if you turn it into dust."

A good point and I dropped the small device into the case, which she snapped shut, setting it next to her computer. "What do we do with him? If we call security he'll either be killed or turned loose."

"Do you trust me?"

I nodded. Not long ago, hell days ago, I would not have been able to say yes quite so easily. She was a wild card in my life, a curse and a cure all tangled together, much like my emotional connection to her. We were stuck with each other and I had been making it far more difficult than necessary.

And maybe that had been the whole point of Steve sending me on this job. Not necessarily the sleeping together part, but the understanding I had gained of her. She had turned out to be more than I had expected.

And exactly what I needed.

She went back to my room and returned with her phone that had probably been left in the pocket of her jeans when I'd removed them several hours ago. "Hey, Fitz, sorry for the early ass wake up call, but we've had a little… incident here and I was wondering if you might be able to assist."

I could just make out the sleep fuzzed voice of Fitz as he replied. _"Incident? Are you all right?"_

"We're fine, but we have a guest who I think should be questioned in detail and not by the locals. Any chance you have a team nearby?" She watched me for any signs of wanting to run. And I had to admit part of me did at the mere thought of a SHIELD team coming here, even if it was, I had to accede, a good idea.

" _Actually, yes. You sure? Coulson might need you to come in for this."_

She rubbed her forehead with one hand. "I know and I'll owe him one, but if this has anything to do with… any of my current lines of research it could ultimately impact both SHIELD and the Avengers, so…"

" _Understood. I'll make the call. Should be there within thirty minutes. That work?"_

"Perfect. Thanks, Fitz." She sounded more relieved than anything, so I figured that was a good sign and in truth she did not have the wherewithal to incarcerate our visitor back at the castle. Yes, we had a dungeon, but it currently housed a clean room and her servers. Wouldn't be at all useful to keep someone prisoner.

Not sure Steve would approve of it anyway, though he'd probably want to pound the snot out of the guy for going after Rinn. "You sure about this?"

She nodded. "Though you might want to get dressed. I must say it was impressive watching you beat the shit out of someone buck naked, but we don't want the SHIELD team feeling any more inferior than necessary."

I snorted. "I suppose. Think you can keep an eye on him?" I nodded at our whimpering guest. He hadn't liked the electric shocks too much.

She picked the gun up off the bed and flicked the safety off. "He'll behave."

He nodded vigorously in agreement.

I laughed and headed back into my room to put some clothes on.

~^~

 

Rinn had scored our visitor's phone, which is what he had used to track the business card. An app that he'd been given when hired. It had auto locked at some point, but she assured me once back home she'd be able to hack into it and potentially track down all sorts of fun information. She hadn't mentioned the phone or the tracking device that had been planted on her to the SHIELD team or Fitz and Simmons who had met them at the room.

She also hadn't mentioned TJ's little attempt to drug her. Just the suspicion that he might be involved somehow. She gave them the patsy, but shared none of the real information and I found that quite interesting. I couldn't decide if it was because she felt it was her problem and therefore she had to be the one to deal with it or if she just simply did not trust them fully. She considered them friends and co-workers, but only to a point.

Admittedly, it may have been to protect me and the others to a degree. I'd thrown on slacks and sweatshirt that covered my arm, and I kept my hands tucked in the pockets while they were there, but aside from a couple odd glances and hushed comments no one looked at me askance. The big guy, Mac, chatted with Rinn after a huge bear hug and quite obviously cared more that she… that _we_ were all right than anything else.

They took some info from us, bundled the stooge up and had him out of the room in less than ten minutes. Rinn, Fitz, Jemma, and Mac formed a huddle and spent another fifteen together talking, keeping me nearby, and not excluding me per se, but the topic clearly involving things I had no real input on.

Mac finally ducked his head down next to Rinn's ear and asked, "Is he who I think he is?"

"Yeah, I am," I responded, getting a grimace of apology.

He straightened and I half expected him to demand why they, as SHIELD agents, hadn't even tried arresting me, but instead, "Any chance I can see the arm?"

Rinn laughed.

"That's all I am, a possessor of an arm to all of you."

Mac got this hugely hopeful look in his eyes and I nodded. What the hell, right? I unzipped the sweatshirt and pulled the arm free.

"Wow. I mean, _wow_. I've heard the stories and seen some of the video. Read your file, of course," he gave me a nod and he shifted closer, "but the descriptions pale in comparison. May I?"

I lifted the arm up and he carefully ran his fingers along the scales the new arm had been made of, they overlapped like scales on a snake or lizard, or dragon when Rinn did the describing, and could move to a degree to help increase pressure or strength as needed. Much like regular muscles. I'd seen the schematics of the interior and understood how complex the mechanics of the design were. Some parts remained from the original, those deep within the musculature of my chest and back, parts of the upper shoulder, they'd used those at the attachment point for the new arm instead of digging into my body again, which I did appreciate, they'd simply overlaid the visible older material with the new alloy and had somehow convinced it to work.

"Wakandan tech," I told him.

He nodded vigorously. "We don't get to see much of that."

"T'Challa's still pissed," Rinn reminded with a slight shrug of her shoulders. She still wore my shirt, just buttoned now, the sleeves rolled up to hide the hole she'd cut out of the left. She'd added a beat up pair of shorts with a logo for Ball-Buster's Gym just above one knee and considered it a done deal.

No one had commented on the fact that she had not been in her room when the intruder had arrived, though the amused looks from both Fitz and Simmons pretty much assured that they knew what had happened.

"Which is why he chose you to work with," Jemma stated, a smirk on her lips.

"I play the middle ground really well. You guys want to keep fighting, go right ahead. I'll just keep making money off of it." She grinned.

"You sound like Stark," Fitz observed.

"I have _never_ been a war monger, except in a virtual sense. 'Sides, my sims are designed to prevent them from dying of their own stupidity."

Fitz raised his hands in surrender. "Not arguing." Then he yawned hugely. "If you two are done causing trouble for the night we're going to catch a couple more hours of sleep. We still on for lunch?"

Rinn nodded. "Mac, if you're still around tag along."

He gave me a nod of thanks and released my arm. "I might be able to manage that, blondie. Text me."

"I will. Now out of here the lot of you. Frickin' SHIELD agents and butting into other people's business."

Jemma chuckled and gave her a fierce hug. Moments later we were officially alone.

"You didn't tell them everything, why?"

She flipped the deadbolt then let her gaze rove over the room as if concerned they had taken something they shouldn't have. "I doubt they told me everything. Besides, if I gave them the tracker and phone there is no guarantee they'd be able to share what they found. I will… if it's relevant to them."

Smart girl.

She frowned for a long moment, hers eyes not really seeing anything about her, mind clearly working on some problem she had no intention of verbalizing. Then with a heavy sigh, she wandered out onto the balcony, leaning against the railing, the city laid out before her. I watched her from inside, debating the merits of joining her or leaving her to her thoughts as she seemed to want some peace. And I… I doubted I could grant her that. My involvement with her far more a complication than anything that would permit her mind to slow and find a center of calm in this unexpected storm we'd found ourselves in.

But I wanted to be there for her, if she would permit it. Wanted to hold her hand, be that person who brought her some small slice of peace in the midst of adversity. I just didn't know if it would be possible. That ever present want drove me to move forward until standing behind her, close enough to feel the warmth of her body, but not quite touching, granting her the option to send me away.

To my surprise and pleasure she leaned back against me, hugging herself as if cold. I sighed and wrapped my arms about her, tipping my head down against hers and breathing her in. My scent mingled with hers, as if I had marked her as my own.

My heart skipped a beat or three at that thought, terror mixed with this unexplainable relief I felt. I should not have allowed this to happen, but we'd gone too far to back out now.

False dawn tinged the sky and you could hear the city beginning to wake. Birds calling out, the high pitched cries of bats and swallows, the occasional hoot of an owl.

"You okay, doll?" I mumbled into her hair. I didn't really want to stir things up, but if she needed to talk I wanted her to be aware I would listen. I might not understand, but I could still be a willing ear to bend. Whatever she might need. I couldn't seem to help it.

And that should have worried me.

"I'm good. A bit wired. Wondering if TJ and company have been behind all the weirdness lately or if I need to start looking behind every door I walk through in my life." Her tone remained flat and even throughout, not a good sign at all. I did not know her incredibly well, I would be the first, second and last to admit that, but she normally charged into the fray well armed and ready for anything. Here she seemed to be at a loss.

"I guess it would depend on why the cockwaffle tried to drug you."

She snorted then shifted to look up at me. "Steve is going to kill me for teaching you that one." The back of her head on my shoulder rotated enough for her to set her lips against the side of my neck, tongue flicking out, hot against my skin.

"Steve swore all the time back in the war, don't know what the hell turned him into a goody two-shoes when he woke up. Unless the ice damaged his brain somehow." I gently moved her arms, her left curving about my hip and grabbing onto the first belt loop she could reach and tugging me closer. I twined the fingers of our right hands together, her holding on tight, though I had concerns as to why she needed the contact.

"He's expected to, that's why. Poster boy for what is perceived as the golden era of the U. S. of A. He's determined to live up to the hype." She sighed softly and turned her gaze back to the view, the sky slowly growing lighter as the sun made it's way closer to the horizon off to our right. "I think he's forgotten how to just be Steve Rogers."

"So, you're saying he's as messed up as me?" I pressed my lips to the side of her head, my left hand moving to play with the buttons holding the shirt closed. This discussion serious, so damn serious, but what I needed from her feeling just as serious and far more intense after the excitement of earlier. The adrenaline rush I gotten when taking down the intruder replaced by the one caused by her nearness and willingness to let me do pretty much anything I wanted.

"More. You, to a degree, have had the opportunity to adjust, to experience the world during the intervening years, at least a little. He hasn't. Not more than necessary. He clings to his past and when he lost Peggy…" She met my eyes, hers oddly mournful.

"He thought he was alone." Sounded like Steve; taking the weight of the world on his shoulders and refusing to see he had those who would gladly share the burden with him. "And then I made the news." I managed to get two buttons undone, tips of my metal fingers brushing along her skin.

"Yup. And his save the world complex came to the fore." Her nails dug into my hip as I let my hand wander, causing the shirt to slide off her right shoulder and her to suck in a startled breath. "Don't get me wrong, he would go to the ends of the earth for a friend, but for you? He'd destroy it and not bat an eye."

Huh. Part of me suspected that, knew he would do anything for a friend he had deemed worthy, but to go beyond that, to break those morals he held as so important… No, I guess I could see it, for the right reasons. I refused to believe that I could ever be a right reason. But if she had seen the truth, that he clung to a past that could never be reclaimed… then he was the one who needed help.

I needed redemption.

Steve needed a serious reality check.

"This why you wandered back into his life?" I whispered into her ear, then bit gently down on the lobe, playing with the stud she had there.

She moaned softly, but still managed to answer the question. I would need to put in more effort to break her concentration I supposed. "I never left his life, we texted and emailed at least weekly, just hadn't seen him in person in a few months. I left SHIELD, not my friends. And, for the record, that includes you."

"Thank you." I meant the words and I wanted to finish this discussion, but later, when the distraction of her had lessened a bit. "Now you still have an early meeting, what say we head back to bed?"

"If you are suggesting we actually try to sleep-"

She shut up when I bit her on the side of the neck. Releasing her, she spun about and kissed me. I lifted her up, her legs wrapping about my waist, and I carried her back into the room.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

When I opened my eyes I scanned the room in confusion the entire layout flipped from the past few mornings. I could hear my alarm going off, but the sound far softer than normal. I turned my head to check the nightstand, which had only the hotel lamp and standard alarm clock even though most people used their phones these days. How odd to realize something once so rare as a personal clock to be practically outdated and useless in many ways.

I shoved myself upright to see Laurin's laptop on the desk across the room and remembered we had gone to bed the second round in hers, not mine. That had been a bit more rushed, but fun as all get out. Who knew she had a kinky streak a mile wide.

Not Steve that's for certain. He had no clue what he'd missed out on, and I would be certain to tell him… eventually. For now I wanted to savor the moment. The red digital lights of the clock told me I had less than an hour to get dressed and make certain Rinn made her first panel of the day. One of those guest of honor ones we couldn't miss, though I'd much rather drag her back to bed, wear her out and then nap until late afternoon.

Instead I rubbed my hands over my face and yawned, the stubble damn near a full beard at this point, which meant the time had come to shave. Or at least trim it down. Seemed the scruffy look was currently in and appreciated by many women. Not that I'd even considered putting myself out there and dating, they'd be far more likely to make a call and turn me in, last I checked the reward was rather hefty.

"What the hell?" I heard Rinn say from my room.

"You okay?" I asked, worry suddenly churning deep in my gut.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," she called out, consternation in her tone.

"You didn't answer the question," I pointed out. I threw off the covers and walked over to the doorway.

Rinn stood near the foot of the bed, towel wrapped about her, wet hair dripping on the carpet. She held her shirt from the night before in one hand, the other keeping the towel in place. "There's blood on my shirt."

I went to her and looked at the shirt. The blood stain small, but there, no more than a drop or two that would never have been noticed with her hair down all night. Whatever had gotten her, small enough that she hadn't even noticed it. Much like…

"Turn around."

She did so without question or argument, trusting me implicitly. The more fool she. I swept her hair aside to see a small bruise next to her spine on the right of her upper back. Exactly where TJ's hand had ended up when he'd hugged her the night before.

That churning turned violent as all the tiny signs I'd noticed and dismissed the night before fell into place. The blown wide pupils, the relaxed posture, the willingness to not only talk about personal subjects, but act on them. She had been anything other than the stiff and proper Laurin for most of the evening last night, but after the encounter with TJ her guard had dropped dramatically.

I knew she opened up among close friends, I'd seen it when she'd been alone with Steve, the easy camaraderie similar to what I had shared with the man a lifetime ago. She would nudge and joke with him in a manner I had seen with no one else. Even her employees. Yeah, me and Sam and Wanda got to see a side of her few others had, but with Steve that curtain parted even further.

Of course, I had gotten to do more than just _sleep_ with her.

And I shouldn't have.

Oh fuck I should not have.

I been blinded by my need of her and completely missed she'd been compromised. I'd foolishly believed that change in personality to be normal thanks to the relaxed atmosphere and the friends, SHIELD agents, she had not seen in some time.

Had thought that she'd actually wanted _me_.

But it had just been the drugs and alcohol lowering her inhibitions until she'd acted in the heat of the moment. Depending on the drug she'd been given, my playing the part of boyfriend might have even triggered the response. Causing her to react in the appropriate manner once the initial cues had been given.

No wonder TJ had looked so flustered, probably couldn't figure out why she hadn't reacted to the drug, or it had been a test to see if she would. And then… then the second attempt, interrupted by me.

I felt the blood drain from my face, my heart pounding as I recognized the events of the previous night for the complete, and utter mistake they had been. I felt something inside me snap, the pain not physical, but there nonetheless.

She didn't want me, hadn't wanted me, not really, it had been the drugs and no more. And I… I had been too stupid to realize something had gone awry and used her to sate my pleasure and endless want of her.

Her hand cupped my cheek. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I gently removed her hand and stepped back. "Don't," I warned her, body responding even though my heart and head violently rejected the interest.

"James?" she questioned, the confusion in her voice and in her eyes. Those lovely green pools that spoke volumes without her ever needing to utter a word. A man could easily drown in them. Hell, I already had and now needed to swim to the surface and come up for air.

I shook my head and headed over to where I'd left my bag to find clothes. I would not stand before her naked and letting her think this could continue. I'd fucked up so badly and now would face the consequences. "We need to get ready for the panel," I told her, endeavoring to keep my tone gruff.

"Bullshit," she barked and I felt her hand on my shoulder a moment later, urging me to turn around.

I shook her hand off and pulled on a pair of sweatpants before facing her. "Laurin," I focused on the pale carpet between my feet, not able to meet her eyes, "last night was a mistake and I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner."

She took two quick steps back. "A mistake? You so do not get to have a morning after pity party."

"Laurin, you were drugged, compromised, and I was too stupid to recognize it." I should have known she'd be upset. Should have thought this through a bit better, but I could only move forward from here and hope she'd eventually forgive me.

"Whatever TJ got me with, if he actually did, obviously didn't affect me else I would have been a drooling mess on the floor shortly thereafter."

A good point, I had to admit, but I suspected she might be in denial of reality more than anything. "You can't get drunk, right?"

"Not really. If I down enough in a short span of time, the 'bots can't keep up and I'll get a buzz, but that's about it. I didn't have one last night until…" She blinked, thinking about exactly when the buzz had hit her last night. When she swallowed hard and went pale in the light of the room I knew she'd done the math and come to the same conclusion I had.

"Your pupils had blown before those first couple of drinks could have affected you. And they stayed that way for hours." Thinking back, when we'd dealt with the intruder they'd still been huge, though the effects had been wearing off. She'd enjoyed the torture far more than I would have expected her to. I doubted sex and lack of sleep could make her that gleeful over wanting to shoot someone.

I suspected Steve would have noticed immediately, but my screwed up brain _wanted_ her to look at me like that, with the same need that I tried to hide, to keep locked inside and not force her to deal with.

"And so you assume that the only reason I slept with you was because of that? Gee thanks." The hurt audible, as was the disgust. "You gave me every opportunity to back out and I didn't. Is it so hard to believe that I wanted you because you are you and no more?"

Oh how I wanted to believe that.

But I couldn't.

Couldn't risk fucking up her life more than I already had. "Doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter?" she echoed, voice taking on a hard tone. "You got what you wanted and you're done with it now?"

No. Oh hell no. I wanted her to drag her back to the bed and encourage her to make those glorious sounds I knew few others had ever heard. But how the hell did I answer without digging this pit I found myself in even deeper. That rectangle of sky already so far out of reach I had little hope of ever climbing out. "Not what I'm saying."

"Then what are you saying?" she asked through gritted teeth.

Damn it. "I'm saying it was an error in judgement and no more. Intentional or not I took advantage of the situation." I hung my head again, the guilt eating at me. "You lacked the ability to make a clear decision."

"Really? And the second time? After the SHIELD team left? Was that an error in judgment too?"

Oh, she was so fucking angry. Standing there, hotel towel wrapped about her, hair dark, water droplets hanging from the ends… beautiful failed to be an accurate descriptor. No, she looked _fucking glorious_. A goddess prepared to hurl vengeance down upon the pitiful mortal who had been unlucky enough to earn her wrath.

I wanted to drop to my knees before her and beg her forgiveness. To do anything and everything in my power to erase the damage it had wrought here.

Except… except I knew that need to be a false one. A necessary one thanks to her being the anchor, but the unplanned emotions tied to it... Not real.

I had to cling to that.

To believe that.

Because if not she would just be another unwanted notch on my belt. Another addition to all those I had hurt over the decades and while her blood might not be literally on my hands the end result would be the same.

Another assassination that I could not undo.

For an instant I considered not finishing her off, letting her go, and not tear her apart more than I already had.

But I stayed the course.

"Yes. Adrenaline high."

She chuckled darkly, shaking her head. Then she straightened, shoulders going back, not about to allow her pride to be damaged more than it already had been, her lovely eyes gone icy cold. "Maybe you're right. You're not worth saving."

I knew she didn't mean that, had only said those words to hurt me as much as I had her, they still stung simply because they affirmed how I truly saw what remained of my life. Unworthy to be part of the world, to live anywhere but in the shadows, separate and apart from everyone else.

I'd been given the chance to live in the sun, under the gently warming rays of its light and, much like had been done to the rest of my long life, I destroyed it with an ease that sickened me beyond measure.

Then she spun about on her heel and went back into her room, shutting the door behind her.


	21. Chapter 21

 

_Steve's POV_

  


I met them down in the garage. Bucky grabbed his bags, gave me a curt nod and walked away, not a word to either me or Rinn, who looked about as pissed off as I'd ever seen her. I'd gotten reports from both of them the day after the incident, but had only managed one short phone call with Rinn. Bucky had apparently chosen to hit ignore every time.

Rinn had assured me they were fine, and, at the time, I'd just assumed the short tone she'd used was because she'd been busy. I'd seen the schedule, on the go from morning until well into the evening, with very little _me_ time planned. She'd warned me of the need for a couple days to decompress after, so I'd expected tired, not angry.

She dove into the trunk and began unzipping one of her bags. She pulled out a couple evidence bags and waved them at me. Instead of taking them I set a hand on her shoulder and asked, "Are you okay?"

She sighed. "Fine. Need to run a tox screen on the shirt ASAP and want to play with the electronics as soon as I've had a shower and some sustenance." When I still didn't take them from her she shoved them back into the bag with far more violence than necessary.

Well, for an answer it didn't exactly tell me all that much. "What happened?"

"Talk to Barnes," she snapped then sucked in a huge breath. "On second thought don't." She grabbed two of her bags and began walking away leaving me standing there in confusion for a long moment.

I went after her. "Hey." I set a hand on her shoulder, which she slid away from, dodging me expertly. I got in front of her forcing her to stop or attempt to run me over. She might be strong, but unless she actively tried she wouldn't move me easily.

"What?" she snapped, her patience clearly at an end.

I wrapped my arms about her and pulled her close, her body stiff for far longer than usual, then I heard the bags thud to the ground and her arms came around my waist, holding on as if for dear life. I buried my face in her hair, her scent different, probably due to the hotel water and shampoo, and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "I'm sorry about TJ."

We all knew about TJ. Tony had been the one to dig up the dirt and accuse Laurin of using others work as her own. She hadn't gotten angry, but had told him in no uncertain terms he'd been mistaken and to check again.

Then he'd done that Tony grin, the same one I'd seen on his father's face so many times. The one that said he'd been impressed. The one that assured it would be brought up time and time again, like poking a hornets nest with a stick and hoping like hell you could run fast enough before you got stung.

Rinn had never spoken about TJ unless forced to. The guy had used her in every way imaginable based on the stories I had heard and put her off not only relationships of the romantic kind, but working ones. She preferred doing everything herself. Meeting Tony had begun the transition back. She still remained very guarded in both personal and professional relationships. Not sharing more than absolutely necessary.

She snorted. "TJ will always be a problem for me. Though if he annoys me enough I might just sic you and the others on him. Though I doubt there would be much left of him after."

"May have to anyway. I doubt he tried to drug you for humanitarian reasons."

She pulled back to look up at me. "Really? I never would have guessed that. Which reminds me…" she picked up her bags, refusing to let me take them from her, "I need to borrow Sam in a couple days. I checked the schedule and it's clear."

"Sure, why?" I motioned for her to stay put and jogged back to the car to grab the rest of her stuff and close the trunk.

"Have to go to DC and meet with Coulson."

My heart stuttered to a halt, then restarted at triple the pace. "Rinn, you sure you're okay?"

"Fine… mostly. Why do you look like you've just seen a ghost?"

"Coulson's dead. Battle of New York, remember?" I sure as hell would never forget. It had been the push that brought us together and actually _be_ Avengers, working together towards a common goal.

"Uh, no. Else his life model simulacrum is really, _really_ good. I had a video conference with him just a few months ago. Stepped down from being Director of SHIELD and seems happy about it."

I blinked, staring at her and unable to process a single word she had said. I could still remember Fury's words in my ear. The med team calling time of death. The blood soaked vintage Captain America cards he'd throw down in obvious disgust. Deserved, in truth, but me and Tony hadn't yet figured out how to work together. Hadn't been able to compromise on anything.

Not then.

Not now.

"Steve, jeez, breathe. You're scaring me here."

I shivered from head to toe and had to force myself to focus on her. The memories still strong and clear and full of so much guilt and regret that they could be difficult to step back from.

"Coulson didn't die?"

She shook her head. "Oh, he died all right. Just didn't stay that way. And don't ask me how, but they saved him and he's still the Coulson you remember… well, except for the new hand. Small incident when dealing with the terragen virus. Turns out he's just plain human."

I tried to absorb all of that information without my head exploding from conflicting data.

"Fury named him Director of SHIELD after the whole Hydra mess. He never told you?" She had dropped her bags again, her hands on mine, hers over warm, which meant mine had gone icy.

"No," I barely articulated, throat tight and mouth dry. "He's alive?"

"I promise. I do some off the books work for him now and then. Some projects I'm working on with Fitz. I think they're planning on announcing SHIELD is active again soon. Why? You want back in?"

I shook my head. "I'd have to sign the Accords for that." I managed to look her in the eyes and actually see them. My heart rate coming back down as the shock wore off. "No, this plan of yours will work better."

One hell of a plan, in my opinion. She intended to have Nomad be self-sufficient within two years. Taking outside, vetted, clients within six months, and hiring other displaced, also vetted, ex-SHIELD agents within three. I had already heard from Bobbi Morse, Mockingbird, who'd burned her covers about six months ago to save the day. Doing the right thing costing her dearly and forcing her to go on the run.

I hadn't learned about it until recently, my focus on the Avengers and not a government agency that had been all but destroyed and deemed mostly useless.

Guess I'd been wrong on that score.

I'd accused Rinn of letting us live off her handouts, two days later I had the business plan for Nomad in my hands, and felt like a fool. I should have known she had everything worked out ahead of time. She never did things by half measures.

"So can I borrow Sam?"

"Why not Wanda? Do some girl bonding," I suggested. Out of those who worked here, Wanda only seemed to feel comfortable with Rinn. The others, the Cyko employees, friendly enough, but uninterested in any type of relationship. Which made sense I supposed, they were very different personalities and, frankly, I think Wanda still frightened them. They'd seen us practice a few times and Wanda's power impressed even me. She could level entire cities with some practice and the will to do it and if I ever worried she might actually so such a thing, I made certain she did not see it on my face.

She eyed me, as if to make certain i was back on an even keel then picked up her bags again. "I considered it, but if they try to grab her, I might not be able to prevent it. So, Sam. Fully human and far more politic than either you or Barnes."

Okay, she had a good point. Several in fact. Wanda had done excellent work on the other assignments, but none had been back in the US, and sending her to DC might just force Ross's hand. I mean technically they were all escaped criminals thanks to me breaking them out of the Raft. I'd rather not have to do that again and embarrass the head of the Avengers even further.

"Sam it is." I began moving again. "You'll fill me in? I assume this is about the intruder?"

"Yep. Don't really have the means to keep prisoners here, definitely not legally."

"Why SHIELD?" Interested in the logic of her decision more than anything. She could have turned him over to the local police or Interpol, though with Bucky there, neither of those would be an optimal choice. The entire world pretty much knew what the Winter Soldier looked like.

"It was them or call Tony, which means Ross, whom I trust… not at all really. I think he has his own agenda where it comes to the Avengers and enhanced in general. His mistakes with Banner have colored his decisions ever since."

I had to agree with that completely and on every level. I wasn't perfect, but this man's army had become far removed from the one I'd joined in my youth. The lines far more blurred than they had been back during the war I'd fought in. And… and there was the chance that Ross had been involved with the attempts to acquire Rinn's servers. I wouldn't put it past him and those he answered to.

"Fair enough. They'll keep you informed of any developments?" I wanted to make certain that they didn't use her. Oh, I understood that because most of this stayed off the books that they would be using each other; I wanted to make sure the scales balanced fairly evenly.

"They will, probably more so than me."

Interesting, but I couldn't act surprised. Anything she gave them put her at risk of being outed as an enhanced. Those that knew, Coulson included, had kept her secret so far simply because she'd had no interest in joining SHIELD or becoming an Avenger. Her involvement much like that of Dr Cho, on the fringes and not greatly impacting that bigger picture. Or seemingly not. Without Cho there would be no Vision. An admittedly extreme example, but accurate.

So far, at least of late, Rinn's impact seemed to involve giving up huge pieces of her life for friends. Friends who should have been able to figure out the mess all on their own.

"Laurin, however you want to play this we'll back you."

She turned to meet my serious gaze. "I hope so. I need to figure out who TJ is working for really. He tried to recruit me back in college, but I wasn't interested. I had my plan set and didn't want my work being co-opted by others."

"And his move was to steal it and claim it as his own? You sure he's actually a genius?"

She laughed, which had been the reaction I wanted. She had every right to be upset and concerned, but she couldn't let it stop her, or even slow her down.

"We'll need to up my security on the remaining events. Be embarrassing to get my ass kidnapped at E3. Just not Barnes, please."

When I frowned she added, "Not _just_ him, okay?"

"He did that bad?"

She shook her head. "From a work perspective he did fine. There were a couple… issues that I will discuss with you tomorrow. Soldier related ones."

That could be concerning, but given I hadn't gotten emails or texts the moment they had occurred I would trust her judgement on the matter given she'd been there and not me. "Then what?"

"Anchor issues. It colored some of his reactions in ways that were detrimental to the situation. A buffer would ease the conflict for him. Allow him to step away and not be concerned about my safety."

Now that made sense and was a reasonable request. Or would be if there were more than four of us trying to handle all the needs of Cyko. Maybe the time had come to expand our roster. Early based on her schedule, but if I could not longer pair Bucky with Rinn, who traveled the most, it would put a strain on the scheduling. "Maybe I should call T'Challa, see if he'd like to rotate anyone in for training with the understanding they'd be playing bodyguard for you and yours," I mused aloud and Rinn brightened immediately.

"Ooooo, I like that idea. And to be honest I'd discussed something similar with him. Not that his people aren't well trained, but fighting an enhanced is a definite skill and here we could assure a safe place for them to learn. I'll send him an email about it."

I shook my head. "I'll contact him. This would be under Nomad, not Cyko. Better to keep them separate."

She stopped dead and turned, eyeing me with a tiny smile turning the corners of her lips up. "There he is," she stated softly.

I glanced behind me. "Who?"

"The Captain. Our fearless leader." She cocked her head to the side as if debating whether or not to make her next statement. "You know they wanted you to head SHIELD."

I went still for a long moment at that thought. I mean, I could do it, no problem. I'd been designed to lead, though functioning within the system as it currently stood would be a challenge, but I would have figured it out. Made SHIELD into what Peggy had always intended it to be.

"But I'd have to sign the Accords."

Rinn nodded. "And I doubt you'd be thrilled with the inhuman registration act."

"Uh, not a chance. Criminals. Yes. Maybe. But all of them, just because they were drugged and changed against their will? No way in hell."

She shook her head with a laugh. "Pretty much what I told Simmons when she mentioned it. She understands you standing your ground."

We got moving again. She may have just arrived home, but she had things to do. I had things to do. "Hey, how'd you keep them from arresting Bucky?"

"They met James, my bodyguard and employee of Nomad. Far as I know he's not wanted by anyone for anything." Her words took on a hard edge for a moment, but she shook it off quickly. "Even if they all wanted to fondle his arm." She bumped into me, a gesture meant to comfort. " 'Sides they wouldn't want you breaking whatever facility they had him in."

I laughed. "You might have a point there." How she maintained all these varying relationships astounded me. Wouldn't stop me from using any and all information she gleaned from them though. "I set up a search to figure out who TJ really works for, but it's been slow going. I'd guess NSA or some other black agency, except he's out there at these conferences all the time."

"Which simply means his place is the hierarchy is overt. Probably a recruiter. Which makes sense given his preference for not doing his own research." The disgust in her voice audible.

"He must be good at it then." _Since you fell for it,_ I didn't say, but had to admit I implied it.

"Oh, you want the dirt. Yes, I fell for his line of patter and him, at least a little. Keep in mind when I met him I had quite literally just recovered from being broken to the point speaking was dangerous for me." We climbed the stairs that would lead to the section of the castle she kept her private residence. Place definitely gave us all the cardio we needed, no elevators to get us to our rooms no matter how tired or banged up.

What we really needed was an onsite medical facility, but we made do with the nanobot lab and the extensive first aid gear she'd collected over the years. That might be a another thing we could borrow from Wakanda, medical personnel. I'd add that to the to do list once I got Rinn settled.

"First love?" I knew what that could be like. Luckily for me it had been mutual and she'd not been out to use me. Well, she had, as a weapon against Nazis and Hydra, but she'd also liked me for me and that counted for something.

"First lust?" She stepped off at the floor with the labs, dropping her bags in the hall and retrieving the piece of shirt. She waved for me to follow, the lab empty at the moment. No batch of nanobots being cooked right now. I still didn't quite understand how you built something on such a miniscule scale with normal sized equipment, but she… they did. The hard part, she always insisted was the programming, not the designing. A 'bot was a 'bot. The scale models, some nearly a foot long, were mounted on one of the long tables awaiting the next test run.

"What can I say, I was young and naive."

"And smarter than everyone else in the room. That was all post-grad work, right? For your doctorates?" I watched as she pulled her hair back into a bun held in place with a pair of chopsticks that had been left in a coffee mug with "Best Boss Evar" printed on the side of it.

"And all of them thinking I had wasted my time designing my games." She glanced at me over her shoulder as she snapped on a pair of virulent purple gloves. "They were just envious that I'd already sold the first one on spec and it had paid off all my college debt.

She removed the piece of shirt from the bag, snipped off a small amount from near the center and stuffed it into one of those tiny vials, added a squirt of liquid, capped it and stuck it on the centrifuge. "You'd already sold the nanobots?"

"Yes and no. I'd gotten stuck with them, obviously and they'd fixed what they could. But I hadn't quite made them marketable yet." She turned to look at me, those safety goggles and lab coat making her look like a nerd.

"How old were you?"

"Ah, I see you've caught on. Fifteen, sixteen."

Young. Damn young. But so intelligent that I didn't even have to wonder why someone would try to use it for their own purposes. She'd just recovered from a severe trauma, given the freedom to be herself for the first time in years and gone out into the great big world. "How old was he?"

"Nineteen, supposedly. I suspect that was a lie."

"You weren't fooled?"

"Oh, I was. For months. But after being confined to a wheelchair to have anyone look at me with something other than pity…" She shook her head. "I got sucked right in. But I was also determined to finish what I had started. My nanobot designs were making headlines, as were my games. I took a simulation course, decided they'd gone about it all wrong and added that to my resume. Then I tied it all together. 'Bots to maintain the systems that I created the VR on."

"You wanted to share what you'd learned."

She nodded. "And so much more. When I could barely move for fear of breaking another bone, my mind…. flew. So much in here," she tapped the side of her head with a finger, "and no easy way to get it out."

"So you invented a way. Your neural mapping technique." I thought about that. Her technique, as far as I knew did not record anything other than how a particular brain worked. Showing patterns in brain function similar to an MRI or CT scan. Just deeper, allowing those sim suit connections to grant the wearer to actually _experience_ the sim through touch and sight in a depth that had been thought impossible before Rinn had done it. The suit let others feel what the original wearer had, pressure, pain, dizziness, etc.

And that meant… "You can already input outside data."

She shook her head. "No, I can simulate only. It's more visceral feelings. It's their own minds interpreting the data, my technique does not override the person in control."

"But that's what you need to do to fix Bucky."

She nodded. "To a degree, anyway. I need to modify his programming, the neural map just shows me where. I can simulate experiences for him, recreate with enough data, but it's all external. This is a bit trickier… and potentially dangerous."

I'd known that. Removing the Soldier programming would require screwing with Bucky's mind yet again and the consequences could be dire. The temporary fix still holding, but for how long? Would the decades of use cause the known to override the patch job? I'd seen the look in his eyes some days, not recognizing the man looking at me, the Soldier still there and able to function even without being told what to do. "Will he be himself after?"

"Who is he?" she questioned. "No, he won't be the Bucky Barnes you remember prior to the war. No, he won't be the Asset, the Fist of Hydra. But he will be himself. He just has to figure out who that is in this wild world he's woken up to." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You have to let go of him, Steve."

I sighed and found a horizontal surface to lean back against, fingers curling about the table taking care to not crush it in my grip. "He deserves a chance."

"Agreed, and that means not pressuring him. He has to figure this out on his own. He needs support not more orders." The centrifuge wound down and she removed the vial and placed it in another machine that would tell her what drug cocktail TJ had gotten her with. The machine whirred to life and she rubbed her face in her hands, the skin turning momentarily red due to the pressure she'd applied.

"You're tired." Obvious maybe, but it felt like it need to be said.

"That too," she agreed.

"You've got some time, yes?" I waved at the machine, reasonably certain it would not be giving up the answers in the next five minutes.

She nodded.

"Then let me buy you lunch."

She snorted. "You mean raid the kitchen."

Well, she'd just gotten back, I wasn't about to drag her into town even if it did look like she could use the time away, which I had to admit was a trick to pull off after being gone for the better part of a week. Maybe it was more the responsibility she needed to be away from, rather than anyone in particular. "Your place or your place." Meaning her suite, which had a small kitchen in case she wanted no part of dealing with the rest of the world, or the huge kitchen the staff used. Yeah, I could have dragged her to the Keep common room, but did not want to push that hot button just yet.

She would explain what had happened between her and Bucky in her own time.

She glanced at the watch on her wrist and made a face. "Main kitchen. I have to get up in a few hours anyway. I'll substitute food and a shower for a nap."

I stepped back into the hallway and picked up all her bags, much to her displeasure when she finally joined me. The lab tech gear shed for the time being. I suspected she'd be back in them within the hour.

"Aren't you supposed to be seeing Sharon this weekend?"

I ducked my head and increased my stride intending to drop her bags off in her suite before heading back down to the kitchen to see what we had in the way of decent leftovers.

"Steve, you are not going to blow her off again."

I hadn't blown her off. Other stuff had come up and taken precedence on both sides. She had responsibilities and the need to hide that she knew exactly where Steve Rogers had taken up residence. The fact that she was an easy day trip away making it harder for me for some insane reason I couldn't understand.

"Do you still like her?"

"What? Yes, of course. Why would you…" I stuttered to a halt at the smirk on Rinn's face. Damn it.

"Then just go. She'll forgive your quirks, but only for so long. Take her to dinner. A stroll, enjoy the weather, and tell her how you feel before some new world ending problem shows up and you can't."

"And if it puts her in Rumlow's line of sight?"

"And? I seem to recall her facing down him before. Warn her. Hell, she… they should know anyway. Especially after what happened in France." Rinn set a hand on my arm. "Sharon's a big girl, give her the info and let her make her own decision. Then kiss her for heaven's sake."

I felt my cheeks heat up and ducked my head. My skill with women, women I had a personal interest in anyway, still lacking. I was fucking Captain America and terrified of kissing my girlfriend mostly due to a decided lack of practice, which Nat seemed to think was required to master this skill.

"Steve, do you still feel guilty because of Peggy?"

Christ, did she have to go for the jugular every time. "And if I said yes?"

"Steve Rogers, you don't understand women at all, do you?"

We made it to her suite and she dug out the ancient oversized key, that I had thought was a joke the first time I'd seen it, and unlocked the door. A nearly undetectable scanner did its job, disarmed the alarm system and turned on the lights upon recognizing who had walked in the door.

"Well, it's not like you don't try to be confusing at all." I carried the bags over to her bedroom and set them on the bed. The lights coming on as we moved about. Not an AI like JARVIS, but one of those integrated home systems like Nest, only one she'd built. Another beta test project that she'd been playing with.

She chuckled shaking her head as she kicked off her shoes, bare feet on the cool stone of the floor. She only had a few rugs here and there, the small vacuum bot that trundled about not having a whole lot to do given she spent comparatively little time in the rooms. "Steve, I suspect above all, Peggy would want you to be happy, and you definitely have a type."

Sharon looked nothing like her great aunt so Rinn's statement confused me.

Laurin seemed to realize this.

"Strong women. Not appearance. All your female friends are ones who are fully confident in who they are and don't need or want a man to protect them. They want a _partner._ " Rinn began to shed her clothes and I cleared my throat, at which she did no more than look over her shoulder at me as she unhooked the bra and let it fall to the floor. "What? Not like you haven't seen it all before."

"Rinn, you are a terrible person." I got to my feet and strode back out into the living area, knowing that any answer would be conveyed to me through the system. But she was right, I definitely had a type when you put it in those terms.

"No, I'm comfortable with you. Hell, I'd invite you to join me, but it would embarrass you too much. Then again…"

I heard the water start and paced the room, heading for the french doors that led out to the balcony that ran around the entire tower. A balcony now, probably for armed guards during it's original incarnation. I opened the curtains to look out over the darkened lake, the lights from the nearby town not washing out the view of the stars over much, the moon reflected on the near still waters. I liked Rinn, and could see myself with her if circumstances had been different. If I had never met Sharon, maybe. "You sure you'll be all right?"

"I'm sure. While absence does make the heart grown fonder, it does mean you need to be there with her every now and then. Fantasies can only get a girl so far."

I coughed into my hand, wanting to laugh, but finding it inappropriate. "I do not need that… that kind of advice from you."

She laughed and I heard the water shut off. More of rinsing off the travel grime than an actual shower. "Oh, honey, you so do, but I'll be gentle, promise. Or I could contact Nat. I'm certain she'd be happy to walk you through any variety of positions or skills."

I damn near choked on the breath I sucked it in so fast. "Laurin, for fuck's sake."

She appeared a few moments later, hair still pulled back into a messy bun, skin still damp, but dressed, thankfully. Beat up pair of jeans, with more holes than denim at this point and a Metallica t-shirt too big for her tied in a knot over her left hip. I suspected she'd stolen it from Tony. "I can arrange that."

I wanted to be angry with her, wanted the flush I could feel creeping across my skin to be anything but embarrassment, not at her words so much, but the fact that I wanted to act on them. Not with Rinn. No my… interest had a definite target, but I feared I had waited too long on that score as well. "What if… what if she's not interested."

Rinn planted her hands on her hips and tipped her head to look at me seriously. "Then she'll tell you. But hiding here won't get you an answer. Now will it."

I shook my head. "No, I don't suppose it will. Why is it the idea of facing a bomb about to go off is less terrifying than talking to Sharon?" I mused aloud, not really expecting an answer.

I should have known better.

"Because dying is easy. But finding a reason to live? That's scary as all fuck."


	22. Chapter 22

 

I looked over the foursome of trainees from Wakanda, one of whom I had met previously - K'Tana - and wondered if I had ever looked so fresh faced and naive. Don't get me wrong, all four of them were skilled beyond measure in a variety of martial arts taught by the various warrior tribes, but none of them had done anything other than watch enhanced fight, most by video only. K'Tana had been one of the few to see a few sparring matches involving the now Nomad crew, so had some idea of what we could do.

She had volunteered for this first round of training mostly because she had dealt with Rinn and Cyko already and had some input on the care and feeding of our resident obstinate genius. I took every bit of advice seriously and provided some of my own.

Sam ran the current training session with Wanda assisting. None of them used to fighting an opponent that could fly. The first thirty minutes Sam had taken them all down with an ease that surprised all of them. The weapons essentially fancy paintball guns, though weighted to match their real life counterparts, that left a mark on the uniforms to show proof of the hit. They hadn't expected Sam to be an excellent marksman while also flying upwards of fifty miles and hour.

Bucky sat with his legs dangling off the parapet, shaking his head. "They're amazing fighters, but they need work. You sure we can trust them to babysit our Cyko kids?"

I snorted, not able to help it this time. "Yes. I spoke to K'Tana, they understand the needs. Might not have them with Rinn right away, but the others are at less risk as of right now."

He turned his head to look up at me, arm hidden by the long sleeve t-shirt he had to be broiling in. Summer had arrived along with excessive heat, balanced by cool evening breezes thanks to us being high enough up in the mountains to earn them daily. A few impressive storms had blown through, but for the most part we'd seen little other than blue skies and puffy white clouds drifting by overhead.

"You think they'll go after her employees to get to her?"

"Would you?"

He nodded. "In a heartbeat. But I'm ruthless when assigned a mission."

I took a deep breath before saying anything in response to that. He and Rinn hadn't spoken more than necessary in the weeks since coming back from the that conference and I had watched him slowly fall apart because of it. She might have been his anchor, but he wanted no part of it even at the risk of his own mental destruction. I did what I could, supported him, but didn't coddle or put up with his shit. He seemed to appreciate that even when spitting angry at me.

We'd looked into some of the Crossbone sightings, and done some fact finding on the missing server data, but found nothing concrete on either of them. Taken on two new clients, both jobs literal babysitting, but they had paid well and met my very specific criteria. Nomad had been put on retainer and with new recruits rotating in every twelve weeks, we would be able to juggle a few more balls. Apparently summer was the busy season for the gaming world and at least three of Rinn's people were out at some event every week or so.

Not as challenging as creating strategy for a massive incursion of a Hydra base, but also less stressful overall.

"Speaking of which…"

He sighed, turning back to watch the trainees have their asses handed to them again by our resident aerialist. He'd been using Redwing as a distraction and took them out with an ease that no longer surprised me.

"More computer stuff or something marginally less boring?" he asked, sounding completely disinterested.

"Crossbones, actually." Once I'd begun searching with the image, it popped up everywhere. Most old, predating Lagos, but more recently the scratched skull and crossbones had begun appearing again.

Buck perked up a bit at that. "Where this time?"

"Brooklyn."

He twitched. His memories still a jumbled mess, but aware that had been home once upon a time. "And you want us to go."

"Seemed like the best plan. I visited a few times when living in New York, so I know the area pretty well. Hasn't changed as much as you would think." I'd been so lost when I'd first woken up that of course I'd gone home, but it hadn't helped as much as I had hoped, the world had changed it too much, the buildings different, most that I recalled gone, new ones in their places. Others razed to the ground to be replaced with parking garages or in one case an actual park with trees and ponds and a jogging trail and everything. A tiny haven of peace in the midst of the chaos of a bustling cityscape.

And, no, I definitely could not afford to live there. Not then anyway. Now, I didn't know if I wanted to. Too many memories that could drag me under, and I already clung too much to the past as it stood.

The good old days.

When I damn near died of scarlet fever.

Or pneumonia.

Fun times.

"And what's to stop half the neighborhood from calling 911?"

"Well, I wasn't planning on going in full uniform. I know a safe place to park the quinjet and we'll take the subway in."

"Oh. Yeah, that could work." He tipped his head up, eyes squinting as a defense against the sun almost directly overhead. "When?"

"Couple hours. Heat wave in New York so dress for it."

He grunted. "Sweltering temps and a metal arm don't exactly mix well."

"I'm sure you can dig up a pair of short shorts to go with the long sleeve sweatshirt I'm sure you'll be sporting."

He grimaced at that image. "You hate me."

I laughed softly. "You aren't getting out of it that easily."

"Heading out?"

I spun about to see Laurin come around the corner, a momentary hesitation in her stride as she realized Bucky sat there. Then her back straightened, not about to let the whatever between them deter her reason for finding me. "Crossbones sighting. Within the last couple days, thought we'd go check it out."

She nodded, glanced over at Bucky, who had shifted so she saw nothing but his back. "Be careful, Rumlow's probably just baiting you."

"We know what we're doing," Bucky growled. I suspected that if he could have left without needing to walk past her he would have. Instead he hunched upon himself in a failing attempt to appear invisible in an effort to go unnoticed by her.

Which would have been far more effective if he'd kept his mouth shut.

I ignored him, but Rinn shot him a look filled with hurt and pain that quickly morphed into a neutral mask, probably more for her benefit than mine. "Just wanted to let you know that I'm heading out of town myself."

I mentally scrambled to think who I could spare right this second. "Uh, lemme see if K'Tana will go with you."

Rinn shook her head. "No need. Have a private jet picking me up and will be under the best security on the planet."

I narrowed my eyes. "Where are you going?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, it matters," Bucky all but snarled, visibly trembling, though I had no clue if unreasoning anger had taken hold or something else.

She ignored him.

"Rinn, it'll be easier to come save you if we… if I know where to start." The time for mediation had arrived, but not right this second, I hadn't had a lead this good on Rumlow since he'd popped back up in France and tried to blow us up. Or at least blow up whomever had been unlucky enough to find the cache the bomb had been left in.

"I'll be with Tony. The mansion. He set up a lab there for the project we're working on."

That got Bucky's attention, based on the sudden stillness to his body. We knew the project, suspected anyway, as she would tell us nothing of value since the original data had been lost in that explosion in Wakanda. Didn't want to put anyone other than herself at risk and had probably only gone to Tony when she'd found herself at an impasse. I suspected Tony to be reluctant at the very least about helping given who the recipient of the results would be, but one thing Rinn excelled at was persuasion.

If anyone could convince Tony to help, it would be her.

"Is… is it going well?"

She gave me a brilliant smile for my troubles. "Quite."

Bucky's shoulders relaxed and she saw it but didn't comment. The stalemate between them still in full effect. "How about an escort to the airport at least. He's meeting you at the other end?"

"Him or Happy. Barring someone hacking FRIDAY, which would take a miracle-"

"Or you."

"Or me," she agreed. "I'll be in excellent, if virtual, hands the whole route."

"Good enough. When will you be back?" Not that it really mattered, but we, Nomad, were in charge of her safety, so having her schedule became kind of a necessity.

She had to think about it for a long moment. "Don't know. A few days. I'll text you and let you know."

"Rinn…"

"I will be at the mansion the entire time." She pulled out her cell phone and wiggled it at me. "Track me, if you want. Hell, I'll wear a GPS if you're that concerned, but I will be going and I will be working, so if you freak out because I don't text back in under ten seconds I will personally embarrass you in front of the new recruits."

Bucky snorted, his attempts to ignore her foiled by her commentary. "I'd pay to see that."

Her eyes flicked over to him and I could see the need to respond, but she sighed heavily instead. "Don't get blown up."

I snorted, feeling sympathy. I suspected she liked Bucky, as in actually _liked_ , but with him being such a putz it had been twisted into a sullen anger. Five minutes with her and he would be on an even keel for days, this however didn't count. Our field trip would be an interesting experience. "I'll do my best."

She closed the distance between us and patted my cheek. "You always do."

She tried to get away, but I pulled her in for a hug and tipped my head down to whisper in her ear. "I'll talk to him."

"That bad?" she responded in kind.

"Worse," I admitted.

She stepped back, shooting a concerned look over at Bucky. "James…"

He shuddered visibly. "No."

She shook her head and turned away. She gave me a sad smile and walked away, not willing to cross that line he'd drawn in the sand and filled with IEDs that she would inevitably step on. She had tried, taken that chance, backed down her stance and been shut down instantly. I couldn't blame her. None of this had been her idea or her fault.

"Wow, you really can be a jerk, you know that?"

He spun about, coming to his feet quickly now that Rinn no longer blocked his exit. "Weapons?"

Yes, he completely ignored my insult. I should have expected it. "Nothing overt. If you can't hide it, don't bring it."

He glanced at his arm, one eyebrow sliding upwards.

"If you're gonna play game that then neither of us can go seeing as we're both considered lethal weapons when unarmed." We only really needed weapons to kill from a distance, though weaponry could be whatever happened to be handy. Rocks, vases, fire pokers. I'd disabled someone with a whisk once, a metal one grant you, but I'd hit him hard enough to put him down and dazed for more than long enough to tie him up.

He managed a broken laugh. "I'll meet you at the hanger in an hour?"

I nodded and he left, leaving me wondering how I was going to deal with a grumpy Winter Soldier during the flight.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

Turned out a defunct SHIELD base stood a few blocks from where we were headed. Saved us from having to park the quinjet closer to downtown or across the river and take ground transport in. Also meant less chances of us being recognized. I knew Tony was currently not at the Tower thanks to Rinn, but that didn't meant others weren't. So we took care when coming in to keep out of view as much as possible. We didn't have full stealth tech on this quinjet, which put us at risk, but not hugely given most would assume the Avengers or the ATCU were out and about, probably dealing with an Inhuman issue.

Rinn was beyond correct in that I did not agree with the Inhuman Registration act that had swiftly followed the Sokovia Accords. Smacked far too much of what had been done to the Jews leading up to World War II. You know, that war I'd gone into because I disliked bullies.

I doubted I could live in a country that forced a portion of its population to register and ask permission to do something any other _normal_ human would be permitted.

It wasn't right and it most certainly wasn't fair.

It was just plain wrong.

And I could see why Rinn feared coming out as enhanced. Granted she was not an Inhuman, did not have that hint of alien DNA in her system. She was a happy accident that in the current climate would be looked upon with fear. No matter that just a moment prior to said revelation she'd been no different from anyone else.

The firestorm that would ensue I would wish on no one. She would most likely lose more than just her family or business. She would lose her freedom even if she did nothing more than choose to be _retired_ for the rest of her existence.

"What are you brooding over now?" Bucky grumbled under his breath. He'd pulled his hair back into a bun that stuck out the back of the baseball cap pulled low over his eyes. He'd gone with a long sleeved, but lightweight t-shirt and jeans as it was not only hot but humid as hell, not a breeze to be found.

I wore the t-shirt Rinn had left hanging on my doorknob and that Bucky had insisted I wear. Bright blue with my shield smack dab in the middle of it. The accompanying note had insisted no one would believe Steve Rogers would parade around in something so obvious. Still I added a cap and sunglasses as well. Luckily super-soldiers had excellent temperature regulation which meant while hot, we weren't as miserable as those who lived here. Brown outs had been killing power here and there all afternoon according the chatter we'd picked up.

I shook my head, not certain I wanted to get into a discussion comparing Nazis/Jews with the Accords/Inhumans. Least not right now. Much better sitting at a bonfire with drinks in hand. And definitely not with the Tower a comparatively stone's throw away from where I currently stood.

So I went another direction since he'd pretended to sleep the entire flight over, avoiding the discussion I suspected he knew to be coming. "What happened between you and Rinn?"

He hunched down even further. "Nothing."

"Bullshit," I told him, glancing down at the phone to see how much further we had to walk before finding our Crossbones artwork. The area vaguely familiar, but a lot had changed since I had last been here for any length of time. In my mind's eye I could still see the buildings that should be here overlaid over the current ones. Some streets having been shifted or widened to accommodate modern vehicles and traffic patterns.

"Ask her," he growled.

"I will. Right now, I'm asking you." His paced slowed, obviously not wanting to answer the question. "Look, you were fine before that trip. Spoke, what, daily?"

He nodded reluctantly.

"And since you got back, the longest I've seen the two of you together was this morning and all you did was bark at her." He rubbed a hand over his face, but didn't even glance over at me. "You're a mess whether or not you want to admit it. She's as much stuck being your anchor as she is with you, you gotta work it out somehow."

"What? Have I destroyed too many heavy bags?"

I didn't give a damn how many heavy bags he broke. I tended to destroy my fair share as well. It was the whys behind it that concerned me. "Is she that horrible a person?"

He went frighteningly still. It took me a half dozen steps to realize he had stopped and I turned about to face him on the mostly empty sidewalk.

"No. She… she's perfect. That's why I stay away."

"You like her?"

He shrugged.

"The glitch."

He nodded looking oddly... guilty of all things. "And… and I screwed it up."

"How?" I had him talking, hopefully I'd get some real answers and be able to resolve the issue before things got worse between them.

"I slept with her," he mumbled turning away to look at the traffic moving past us on the street.

Okay, not a big deal. Sleeping with Rinn usually kept nightmares at bay and led to a decent night's rest for a change. Something Bucky had been in desperate need of. Didn't explain the anger they'd been throwing about at each other the last few weeks.

"And? What, did she snore too loud for you or something?"

He blinked and then gave me a look that decried my stupidity. "Steve, we had sex. Lots of it."

Oh. _Oh._ "Uh, was she bad or something?" This conversation was not going to go well at all. I could tell that right from the beginning, but given I'd forced us down this path, better to keep going and find our way to the end of it. I motioned him forward with the phone. We still had a job to do.

"Bad?" He laughed, though there was more than a touch of hysteria in it. "Oh hell no. She's fucking amazing." At his unintended pun the laughter turned almost harsh. "Shit," he muttered when he finally found some semblance of control.

"So then what?"

"She'd been drugged and I missed it."

I stopped dead on the sidewalk staring at him. I mean, I knew TJ had made an attempt to drug her, both of their reports had detailed the discovery the next day, but neither had even suggested she'd been adversely affected.

When the tox results had been completed she'd made certain to inform me of the chemical makeup of said drugs. Any normal person would have been feeling the effects within minutes and while they most likely would have remained conscious, it would have been barely. Plus the other component, which would have left one in a very suggestible state.

Great way to coerce information from someone.

I put the pieces together fairly quickly. "So, the next day, after you had, as you put it 'sex, lots of it', you essentially broke up with her because she'd possibly been compromised?"

He nodded, lips a thin line suggesting total belligerence if I said the wrong thing.

"Hell, even I know that's about the worst thing you could do. Goes double with Rinn."

The GPS on the phone signalled me and we turned down the next street. "For fuck's sake, Steve, she didn't have the capacity to say yes and I didn't realize it. I took advantage of her."

I shook my head, not disagreeing so much as amazed that he'd throw it all away because of a simple mistake. She had clearly not been all that compromised if three people, all of whom knew her reasonably well, had been completely unaware of a problem. "Don't tell me you think the _only_ reason she… she slept with you is the drugs." Nope, I apparently couldn't manage to say they had sex out loud. As a quote, yes, but just saying those words?

Thank God it was Bucky or we'd have another _language_ incident on our hands.

His shoulders drooped, eyes on the cracked and worn concrete at our feet. "Why else would she?"

"She's a big girl and perfectly capable of deciding who she wants to… sleep with."

He shook his head.

"Are you suggesting that TJ encouraged her to do so after drugging her?"

"No," he argued. "I did, by playing the part of her boyfriend."

I wanted to smack him upside the head. "If you think that's all it takes to-"

"No, I'm saying that… I just… I wish..." Both hands clenched into fists tight enough for me to hear muscle and metal creak. "Forget it." He stalked away and I let him. He needed a couple moments to cool down so that he might actually hear what I said to him.

We still had a block or so to go to get to the most recent Crossbones graffiti. I lengthened my stride so that I would catch up about the time we needed to turn again. I understood his point of view. Between him having her stuck in his head and longing after her, plus the fact she had been drugged, no matter how little or much it had affected her, it colored the entire evening and the events that followed.

Could I see her being more than willing to spend an evening or two between the sheets with Bucky?

Yes.

Could I see her acting upon it when he remained so… fragile?

No.

She would wait until certain he had his own mind back and could make the decision without yet more programming screwing with his head.

The fact that Bucky didn't seem to think anyone could like him because of what he at done while a victim of Hydra, surely had played a part in his reaction. Easier to push her away, protect what little sense of self and self-esteem he had left and make her believe the self-loathing to be justified.

Who would be foolish enough to see the good in the man who had assassinated Howard Stark and so many others over the decades? Right?

How could that monster be worth any of the trouble we had gone through the last few months.

Right?

And yet… yet Rinn hadn't known him as anything other than my friend and what the history books had written about him and had agreed to help him without batting an eye. Even after he'd treated her like utter shit the first few times they had met. Granted he'd been scared and suspicious of everyone about him. Trust, which used to come so easily to him, fled, relying pretty much on me exclusively to judge whether or not anyone near us could be relied upon for anything at all.

Rinn had given him the benefit of the doubt he had denied her.

Jogging forward I caught up and fell into step beside him. "You need to talk to her."

"Can't."

"You mean won't."

He shrugged. "Same thing I 'spose. When I'm near her…"

"You want to be with her because she's the anchor."

"I want to be with her, period," he argued with a shake of his head. "And she shouldn't be anywhere near me. All I can do is hurt her and I don't want to."

"Buck-"

"Don't we have work to do?" He waved at the phone that had been signalling our next direction change, which I had been ignoring in an effort to keep the conversation moving.

"Talk to her and let her decide for herself. You need her, if only as an anchor. Make that clear and she won't cross the line you put down." She wouldn't. She might push boundaries in her work, but in general if you told her _no_ on a personal matter she would honor it until told otherwise. And while he might not want to admit it he had begun to crumble about the edges by ignoring her.

"I'll think about it, all right? Now can we get this done?"

I grumbled under my breath, but nodded, leading the way down a narrow street and into a back alley parking area that pinged my memory something fierce.

The Crossbones had been scratched into the recently resurfaced concrete, the pristine black scarred by the white marks carved deep enough to reveal the many faded layers beneath. It wasn't the largest one we'd discovered but was still a fair four feet by three in size. Clearly put there to draw attention.

Buck lifted his head to scan the area around us. We were surrounded on all four sides by buildings, a great place to set up a sniper's nest or three to take out any targets foolish enough to stand on the big ol' x marks the spot on the ground.

"Do you know where we are?"

I looked over the area and tried to match it with the buildings I had known in my youth. "Christ, this is home." An unexpected wave of homesickness washed through me. Memories of when life had been both harsh and simple. When the lines between good and evil hadn't been quite so blurred.

I waved at the modern walk up off to our left, where the barely liveable apartment complex I'd lived in once stood. "Why the hell-"

I felt the pulse more than saw it. The phone in my hand going dark in a flash of sparks, Bucky grunting as his left arm suddenly dropped, useless, to his side.

"EMP," he barked, pulling a gun from somewhere and going on the defensive. He backed towards the nearby parked cars, intending to use them as a shield when three of them exploded, shoving him forward and into the wall of another building.

I saw all this even as I was knocked off my feet and flung violently into the exterior wall of where I used to live, my body crushing the modern plaster fascia and leaving a Steve Rogers sized hole in its wake.

Then the second set of explosions went off, crumbling the base of the building I had been flung into. I heard it groan, the metal and concrete and wood holding it upright failing thanks to an entire corner of its base being ripped away in a blast of heat and light and sound. Not that I could hear a damn thing any longer, the first blast having deafened me.

I tried, I swear I did. Getting to my feet and planting my legs, arms up against the faux-brick in an effort to keep the building from tipping over into the other nearby ones. An impossible task, surely, but I knew if I did not try those within the structure would become nothing but collateral damage in the war that had erupted between myself and Rumlow.

"God damn it, Steve."

Bucky dove at me, pulling me away from my vain attempt to prevent the building from collapsing. We rolled clear, mostly. The burning cars far too close to where we landed. The heat singeing our hair and raising welts on our skin.

Then the building went down. Once again sending dust and debris up into the air.

We lucked out. My former home just tall enough to crash into the one across from it Bricks and bits of facade rained down upon us, but little more than that. A few seconds of eerie silence followed to be broken by the sound of car alarms going off in the distance and screams from those in the now damaged buildings.

"Bucky, you okay?"

He groaned and rolled over. "Alive," he croaked, the cap gone, blood streaking down his face, his sweatshirt torn. "You?"

"About the same."

"Rumlow hates you."

"I kinda got that impression myself." I managed to get to my hands and knees, pretty certain I had broken ribs to go with the assorted cuts and bruises. Sadly, the shirt Rinn had bought for me already ruined.

A cry for help got me motivated. Ignoring the pain I got to my feet and held out a hand to assist Bucky, whose arm had clearly not come back online. "Phone working?"

He pulled it out of his pocket, the cracked screen not boding well for its continued ability to work. He pressed the home button and got nothing. "Dead," he informed me needlessly then tossed it away. "How'd he know I would be here?"

"Not a clue and we don't have time to deal with it." I could hear sirens in the distance. Our phones might be dead, but I was willing to bet the EMP had been localized, maybe taking out the power in the nearby buildings, but those a block over would still be functioning and someone had surely called 911 to report the explosions. "Come on."

"We need to get out of here. We're targets and anyone we try to rescue will be one as well."

"All the more reason. We don't back down now."

"Still a stubborn punk."

I chuckled, regretted it immediately as my ribs protested loudly, then groaned. "Always." We headed towards the nearest cries, climbing through a window just a few feet above us to do what anyone in the same situation would: help.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I took a bit of a break due to NaNoWriMo (I won, w00t!), which generated 50k more words for this story (shame on me since I was supposed to be working on my original novel) bringing this one up to a semi staggering 134530 words and some 389 pages in Google docs. And no, it's nowhere near complete. Meaning I have plenty to post after some clean up whilst I try to finish dancing with the demons.

Tony had rebuilt the Tower after the battle of New York, giving the Avengers a home, should they be in need of it. I hadn't lived there until after SHIELD fell, not really having anyplace else to go, and then had moved onto the Compound, considering it the closest thing to home I'd had since coming out of the ice. One of the cool additions had been a landing pad for the smaller quinjets like the one we currently had possession of. Up to four could be parked inside the tower, though I had no idea how many were here at the moment.

Only one way to find out. "FRIDAY, requesting permission to land."

" _Permission granted, Mr. Rogers. The parking garage is full, so you'll be enjoying the view today_. _I'll inform Miss Cyrelle you have arrived._ "

"She beat us here?"

" _Yes, though the quinjet she used will require servicing before it can go back out."_

Meaning she had pushed the vehicle well past its design specs.

I focused on the Tower and flew to the side with the landing pad. I was tired and not at the top of my game, but would not permit FRIDAY to take over, Rinn had done too many mods to prevent exactly that from occurring for me throw it all away because it hurt a little to breathe.

Once down and the engine off I swung my seat about and went to Bucky who looked barely conscious. "C'mon, Buck." I got my shoulder under his good arm and heaved him upright.

"Are you certain this is a good idea?" he mumbled as he tried to gather his legs beneath him and failing the first two tries.

"No. But Rinn is here." And probably waiting impatiently for us to show up, though she might just finish us off herself at this point, put us out of our misery. Had to admit we'd had the crap beaten out of us a lot lately. She'd been there to put us back together, even if the wounds had been nothing more than emotional. "And it's not like we have much choice. The only people who know how to deal with your arm are Rinn and the techs in Wakanda and the latter is a bit of a drive."

"Fuck," he muttered. "Here it is then. Feel like I have a huge target painted on my back, though."

I glanced down at my chest, not missing the unstated irony of the shirt she had encouraged me to wear. "Uh, actually, I'm the one wearing it."

He grunted in agreement, which morphed instantly into a groan of pain, sideways glare threatening me with bodily harm if I even thought about making him react to my smartassed commentary again.

We'd made it halfway across the floor of the hangar when Rinn appeared heading for us at a dead run. She got herself under Bucky's left arm, not caring about the weight now across her shoulders. "The two of you… I leave you alone for a single day and you get yourselves into trouble."

Bucky snorted in actual amusement much to my surprise given the fierce glaring I had just received, the vocal whine of near agony that followed making him regret that unplanned response instantly. When he found his voice, about an octave deeper than normal thanks to the pain, he groused, "We walked right into a trap."

She leaned back to look right at me. "Do I get to say 'I told you so' now?"

Bucky growled in irritation.

"I think we've paid our dues on this one," I told her and she hmmed softly in response. I suspected we'd be having a far more serious discussion later, after we'd recovered a bit. "Is Tony here?"

"No. Grabbed a suit and headed to the collapse to do what he could." She shoved open the doors and got us inside. "FRIDAY, you have the med lab powered up yet?"

" _Doctor and two nurses on standby who are aware of the special needs and the equipment you requested._ "

"Excellent. Have them meet us at the elevator, if you would."

" _Of course, Miss Cyrelle_."

She urged us down the hall and to the bank of elevators, one standing open and waiting for us. We got Bucky settled against the back wall, taking some of the weight off the two of us. I hurt and could only imagine how Bucky felt about now. "We need to find Rumlow and stop him."

"I have FRIDAY looking through CCTV and security cam video for the week prior to the Crossbones appearing to see if we can discover who made it. But he's good. Might not get anything of real value other than a timeline."

"Something is better than nothing," Bucky muttered, tried to straighten, and sucked in a sudden, sharp breath. "Shit."

"Ribs?" Rinn asked.

He glared at her through his hair for a long moment then shook his head. "Kidney, I think. It'll heal."

"FRIDAY, can't you move this crate any faster?"

" _Technically, yes, but it would require overriding the safety protocols._ "

Since Rinn looked be all for that idea, I spoke up, "Not necessary, I think."

"You also thought it would be a good idea to go check this out without backup," Rinn snarked.

Then I got it, she had been worried about us. Probably extremely so since my phone call, only knowing we'd been hurt, but no idea of how badly since I'd made certain to not tell her over the phone. Too many people could potentially overhear on the unsecured line.

"We had no way of knowing it would be a trap," Bucky pointed out, voice sounding rough with pain. I'd heard that tone before, after Siberia. Least this time he hadn't given up.

"Oh bullshit. It's Rumlow. Your first and last assumption should be 'it's a trap' and plan accordingly. And this time you put others in danger by not taking the time to look further into it before going haring off." She panted to a halt, a look of almost horror on her face at what she had said aloud. "Oh fuck. I didn't mean to say that."

"Yeah, you did." I looked her right in the eye. She hadn't meant to say it here and now, but she had most certainly been thinking it. "And you have a point. Part of me still believes Rumlow is dead."

"Dead or not, someone is using his sigil to bait you," Bucky pointed out astutely. "We need to stop them before more innocents get hurt."

"How would he know we'd take the bait on this particular one?" I had to wonder what insight she had into me. Yeah, she was good at figuring out when something was wrong and give what I needed to get over it, but this was different. This was work, the job, not personal.

Rinn made a face at me. " 'Cause it was your home. How could you not go."

Okay, she could be right on that one. Once I found the Brooklyn sighting I'd made up my mind to go and we'd left mere hours later without looking any further into it. "He's playing me."

She laughed with more than a touch of bitterness to it. "Like a Stradivarius. You forget he worked with you for a couple years and probably has a rather complete Hydra file on you in his head."

I hadn't forgotten, so much as waved it off as unimportant. He was dead, after all, so whoever had been posing at him could not know me nearly well enough. But all the SHIELD and Hydra files had been released to the world at large, and while my general file would be out there for all to see, it would not necessarily reveal my personal responses in any given situation, Rumlow's and the rest of the STRIKE teams just might. Anyone reading them could figure it out, just as Zemo had.

Shit.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors parted to find the medical team waiting for us and I tabled that concern in favor of getting myself and Bucky patched up.

 

~^~^~^~^~

 

I leaned against the door frame, crossed my arms, grunted in pain and quickly dropped them to my sides. The med scan had confirmed two broken and three cracked ribs. They'd taped me up, which restricted both my breathing and movement, but would allow me to heal without major complications. If there had been a concussion, it had healed by the time they took a look at me. The assorted cuts, scrapes and bruises were deemed minor and with an admonishment to not get blown up again today had been released on my own recognizance. Turned out Tony hadn't cleaned out my suite and I had some clothes still in the closet. I'd showered and changed, grabbing a spare set of clothes for Bucky. The fit wouldn't be perfect, but would do until we could get back to Austria.

He'd been hurt pretty bad himself. They'd confirmed the kidney damage, but there hadn't been much they could do about it. The bleeding had already stopped, so opening him up to take a look would be needless and messy. Painkillers didn't exactly work on us and I doubted he wanted to be clocked upside the head hard enough to knock him out just long enough for him to wake up mid-surgery.

The broken collarbone far more painful at the moment anyway. They wanted to set it before it could begin to heal, but since it was on his left side they couldn't until Rinn got his arm back online and at least marginally functional. The weight pulling at the bone and forcing it out of alignment.

So once the scan had been completed confirming the assorted injuries, Rinn had taken over. Getting him into a supportive chair that would allow her to work on the arm and having him in the least pain possible.

I'd heard him all but scream when she'd shifted the arm into a position where she could work on it easily.

I had walked into the exam room to find her holding his face in her hands, her forehead pressed against his, his breathing harsh and eyes squeezed shut tight in pain.

"Hey, I'm here. You're all right."

"I very much want to hit you right now," he growled at her.

"If it'll make you feel better go ahead."

I gasped at those words and Bucky opened his eyes to see me standing there. "Sorry," he muttered, probably thinking I'd be upset he wanted to hit her. Hell, if she were mucking with my broken collarbone I'd want to hit her too. No, I was most shocked that she would let him.

Then again not like he could do much right now. Even I could read the pain in his eyes. I'd seen it before, on the helicarrier, when one of the beams had trapped him, crushing his chest, his survival instincts demanding he do anything to escape and being unable to. I'd had nightmares about the terror in his eyes for months afterwards.

The look here similar. A desperate balance of conflicting needs.

"Don't be," she told him, then kissed him on the forehead getting a soft sigh for her reward. "I'll do this as fast as I can so we can get the bone set. I'll worry about full functionality after, okay?" She brushed his long hair back off his face and he nodded.

She stood and grabbed the mayo cart she'd set her tablet up on and moved it next to Bucky's propped up arm. She set fingers against an area on what would have been his biceps and a small section popped open, revealing what looked like a screen that was as dead as our phones had been. She grabbed a tool and wedged it up with a grunt.

"Rinn?"

"Gonna have to do a hard reboot, and hope like hell none of the circuits were fried. Else I'll have to do a dismantle for a massive diagnostic and repair." She never even looked over at me, focused on the tech in Bucky's arm.

"Take it off then," Bucky all but demanded, the pain making him cranky.

"I don't have the gear to do that here, Soldat."

He twitched at her calling him soldier, but the look in his eyes changed and I knew instantly that Bucky had fled the building to be replaced by The Winter Soldier. The pain lines about his eyes faded into a look of stoic impatience.

"How did you do that?" I asked as I stepped warily closer, concerned Bucky, or rather the Soldier would not behave as alter ego would.

She shrugged. "Not a clue. I can apparently turn him on or off at will, which makes no fucking sense even from a being the anchor standpoint." She glanced over at me. "He's not compliant, or anything like that. This isn't full programming, just a mindset. But it'll help him process the pain and let me get the work done without him being a whiny bitch."

Bucky… The Soldier snorted. "It still hurts. I just don't care about it."

I hadn't really had the opportunity to deal with the Soldier outside of a fight so I decided to take advantage of the opportunity granted to me. "Sociopath?"

"Similar," Rinn agreed. "The Asset has no wants beyond completing the mission. No rewards to be earned. Just punishment and wiping for failure."

"Just wiping for success," Bucky added. "The mission all I was."

"And what are you now?" I asked, intensely curious as to what the answer would be.

He cocked his head. "No one."

Rinn glanced over at him, a frown on her face, but she said nothing.

"Who do you want to be?"

"I don't know yet."

Rinn stuck some wires with fancy alligator clips into his arm that were connected to a power block of some kind. "This will hurt if it works." She flipped a switch and the entire arm moved for a second, causing Bucky to grunt in clear pain. "Wiggle the fingers if you can."

He snapped his head about to glare at her, but did as asked. The fingers twitched erratically, but any movement was a good sign at this point. "Crap," she muttered leaning over to do something with that internal screen. "Give it a second."

"Bucky?" He looked like he wanted to rip her head off and then in half, but he held still, just the glare at the top of her blonde head as she set what looked like wireless electrodes on various points of his arm.

"I have no intention to harm her."

"But you want to."

He shook his head. "Not right away. There are other things I would prefer to do her first."

Rinn's eyes lifted for a moment, then she huffed out a breath. "Of course, the Soldat wants to play, but not James."

Bucky… Soldat reached out his right hand, causing me to tense, prepared to intervene if necessary, but he simply set his fingers gently on her cheek to encourage her to meet his eyes.

"He wants to as well, he's simply far wiser to not act upon it."

Rinn's eyes narrowed, but after a moment she nodded. "Fair enough." She settled back, leaving his hand in place for several long seconds before it lowered back down in his lap. She grabbed the tablet and began tapping the screen. I shifted about to look over her shoulder.

"How bad?"

"Bad enough. Looks like the circuits themselves are intact, but it'll take time to bring them back online properly. I'll probably need to create a new neural map, but for now I can reboot with the existing one." She tapped a few keys and the scales on the arm began moving and shifting, his shoulder slowly coming back up into the proper position.

He gritted his teeth, the hiss of pain escaping between them, the Soldier facade crumbling to reveal one tired and in pain Bucky Barnes. "Son of a bitch."

"FRIDAY, tell the doc he can come set the bone now." Rinn continued tapping her screen and making minute adjustments to the arm in an effort to determine the extent of the repairs needed.

" _They are on the way and asked me to remind you the arm will need to be restrained while the bone heals."_

"I am aware. I'll make it work."

"Restrained?" Bucky asked.

"Standard for a collarbone break. No cast, just a strap to keep you from moving the arm while it knits, which for you will only be a couple days I imagine."

"Sounds about right. His healing factor is similar to mine." How similar no one actually knew, I'd refused to allow anyone to do a full genetic work up on either of us, judging it far too risky in the long run. Last thing we needed were more super soldiers running around, though it had been suggested that it could be reversed, granting me or us the opportunity to live out a normal life just like everyone else on the planet.

And while I had considered it, seriously now and then late at night when lying alone and lonely in my bed, I always swiftly realized that there was no one else out there who could do what I do. Who could accomplish the things I could. Who would be willing to die to save just one person, no matter of how seemingly little importance they might appear to be in the grand scheme of things.

If anyone had time, it was me. Maybe in fifty years the world would be able to go on without me doing my best to save it from itself, but until then I would keep going.

"Steve, you okay?" Bucky winced at something she did, but watched me with hooded eyes, breathing slowly through his mouth in an effort to keep the pain at bay.

"Broken ribs, as expected. We'll both be sidelined for a couple of days."

"Not what I was asking."

Rinn glanced over at me, one eyebrow raised expectantly before going back to work.

"Thinking about the future," I admitted.

He got this cocky grin on his face. "Things going well with Sharon, are they?"

I felt my cheeks heat. _Things_ were going very well with Sharon. Rinn had been right in making me go see her and the talk had been most productive and led to wonderful weekend together.

"And he blushes," Bucky laughed, an idiotic move considering the amount of pain just breathing probably caused him, he grit his teeth, head tipping back as he tried to not vocalize his discomfort to the entire island.

"Don't tease him… well, no more than he deserves. Don't want to discourage the budding romance." Rinn kept working, but I could see the smile as she spoke.

I could only hope Sharon hadn't filled her in on how well it had gone exactly. Though I suspected she would know either way. "Watch it or I'll make you laugh some more."

"Punk" Bucky complained, but I knew he was happy for me. Knew how hard a time I'd always had with women. Knew how crazy I'd been for Peggy and pushed it aside for the greater good. Maybe this time I'd be able to have my cake and eat it too. Not like the world was at war or anything. Just day to day monsters that could be easily handled by the many agencies around the world. The need for superheroes like me and mine superfluous right now.

"Jerk."

"All the love in this room," Rinn muttered.

I chuckled softly. Of everyone she seemed to understand best my connection with Bucky and endeavored to give us the space we needed to be ourselves.

The doc appeared then, with two nurses and a look of wariness in his eyes. "Mr. Barnes, time to set that collarbone of yours."

"Let the fun begin," Bucky grumbled, not looking forward to the extra burst of pain this would entail.

The doc looked to Rinn. "Can he move the arm?"

She nodded. "Poorly, but enough. Just tell him where you want it." She finished detaching the electrodes and moved the tray away, the biceps panel still open for the time being.

The doc directed Bucky to sit up straight and the nurses shifted into position behind him. They would provide the resistance as the doctor shifted the bone back into place. He looked right into Bucky's eyes. "This will hurt quite a bit, do not feel unduly concerned if you pass out."

He sighed heavily. "Doc, I kinda wish I would. I could use a break."

The doc managed a brilliant smile, appreciating Bucky's ability to look at the silver lining, however tarnished it might currently be. The nurses shifted slightly and Bucky instantly tensed up, which would make it more difficult for everyone. With the increased density of bones and muscles it would be that much more challenging to set them, especially for ordinary humans.

"You need to relax," the doctor admonished him.

Before Bucky could bitch that he knew that, Rinn swung her stool about to his right side and settled down onto it, her fingers twining with those of his right hand. He turned his head to look at her in confusion.

"Let me help." She shrugged. "It's what I do, remember? It doesn't have to mean anything more than that."

He shivered, flinched at the pain it caused, then nodded with another of those heavy sighs.

She scooted closer, other hand cupping his cheek and keeping his head turned away from where the doc would be working. "Close your eyes."

For a long seconds he did nothing but watch her then his eyes slowly slipped closed and she immediately leaned her forehead against his. "Long, slow steady breaths," she told him. "Focus on that and nothing else."

The whole scene oddly familiar, reminding me of how he'd encouraged her to relax when I'd set her arm back in Wakanda, what seemed like a lifetime ago now even though it had been not quite half a year.

The doc watched Bucky and the instant his body softened he pressed firmly on the collarbone, forcing it down and back into its proper position.

Bucky grunted, but otherwise didn't react at all. He remained still as they got the brace in place and shifted his arm to immobilize it. The whole procedure took less than five minutes.

The doc stepped back when complete. "Done, Mr. Barnes."

Bucky pulled back from Rinn and opened his eyes, looking over at the doc, pain etched onto his features. "Thanks," he croaked out.

"You are most welcome." He turned to me. "I've been told to inform you that I am at your disposal should you need assistance. You can go through FRIDAY or call directly."

Well that was an interesting twist. An olive branch being held out by Tony, or a deal Rinn had cut, I had to wonder. "Thank you. We may just take you up on that."

"I will leave some instructions with FRIDAY concerning your care for the next few days, but I suspect you will fully heal without complications." Then he and the nurses were out the door and back to their regular duties whatever they might be. Probably patching up Tony when he destroyed another suit while still in it.

"You good?"

Bucky groaned, face going a lovely shade of pasty white for a few moments. "Oh fuck that hurt. And I've fallen to my death from a train."

A snort of shocked amusement came from me at the rather morbid joke. "Buck, not funny."

Rinn choked on a laugh. "You seemed to think so." She kissed him on the cheek. "I need to run a quick diagnostic on your arm, then you'll be free to get cleaned up and crash. Okay?"

"How long can we stay?" I asked, not wanting to impose more than necessary on Tony, especially when I had no idea what I would say to him if and when we met face to face again.

"He should be good to go in the morning. I'll meet you back in Austria in a couple days."

Bucky muttered something under his breath.

"Rinn?"

"Boys, I do have work to finish. Me and Tony'll head back to the mansion as soon as he's done playing hero."

Yeah, I had kind of forgotten she'd been working on a project with Tony and we had dragged her from that to come save us. "You sure it can't wait?"

She glanced over at Bucky then back up at me. I couldn't help but notice their hands still twined together, her thumb rubbing gently along the side of his hand and him not minding it one little bit, actually accepting comfort from her for the time being. I'd be an idiot to stop her, he needed her right now, but once the project had been completed that need could very well be wiped away and the last thing I wanted was a broken-hearted Rinn if it turned out that in reality Bucky cared for her as nothing more than a friend, hell, potentially less that that.

And yet, she wanted to jump right back into the project that might just free him. That work the important aspect to her. Giving Bucky the freedom to choose who he was, who he wanted to be and who he wanted to be _with_ far more important than any feelings she might have for him.

"I'm sure." She smiled wanly. "You'll have my full attention until then, so abuse me while you have the opportunity."

"I'm in no condition to do anything of the sort," Bucky complained, the color finally returning to his cheeks.

Rinn lifted their hands and kissed the back of his. "S'okay, I'll take a rain check. Beat you up in front of the trainees next week."

I chuckled. "They might just wonder how a well-known computer nerd is flattening one of the scariest assassins on the planet. And it won't be because they think he's going easy on you."

"They saw it in Wakanda, won't make much difference at this point."

"Still, it is our job to keep you safe, that means keeping your secret safe as well." Bucky sagged back into the embrace of the chair. Exhaustion and pain etched deeply into his face.

She gave him this odd look that I could not interpret, but given he'd been nothing but an asshole to her for weeks I could imagine the whiplash she might be feeling right about now. Much like in Wakanda he was too tired to fight the longing he had for her, so he gave in.

And, anyway, he wasn't wrong.

"Argue when it's more interesting to watch. The two of you agreeing on something is kind of scary right now."

Bucky snorted, then moaned, shooting a glare my way. Rinn patted him on his good shoulder in sympathy, released his hand and shifted about to finish working on his arm.

"We need some actionable intel on Rumlow. We're losing this game of tag. We need to get ahead of him somehow." Bucky sounded like he'd swallowed a bucket of gravel, his voice rough.

"Tomorrow," I informed him, not about about to let him argue about it. "FRIDAY should have a direction for us to go in by then. Plus we'll see what our data mining program has dug up." I found a horizontal surface to lean against and crossed my arms over my chest ignoring the pain this time. "It's all we can do right now."

"You," Rinn began, stabbing a tool I had no idea the use for, in my direction, "need to go call Sam before this hits the news feeds and he freaks out. I'm certain FRIDAY can arrange a secure line if you ask nicely."

" _Of course, Mr. Rogers_ ," FRIDAY immediately responded, proving she always was listening unless privacy had been specifically requested. And even then she was always there in the background, much like Jarvis always had been.

Made me wonder how Vision was handling the current only marginally tenable situation between Nomad and the Avengers.

"Buck?"

He waved me away. "I'll be fine for now."

"I have a suite here. I'll take him there when we're done. Just leave the clothes." She nodded at the duffle I'd brought and damn near forgotten.

I cocked an eyebrow. "You trying to get rid of me?"

She shook her head. "Not at all."

I looked from one to the other, Rinn focused on the diagnostic she ran on his arm and Bucky just looking damn tired and in need of a vacation. Or at least a break. One that didn't involve bones. I walked over to stand beside her and she paused her work to look up at me.

She smiled. "You look like you need a hug, but it would probably hurt too much to be worth it." Instead she grasped my hand firmly and squeezed. "We'll figure this out."

"I know, but will it be before he hurts someone else." Weariness crashed down upon my shoulders. I'd been fighting for so long, I didn't know how to do anything else it seemed. This time the war had been brought to my door and I was failing miserably at defending even myself, never mind others, innocents who had become caught in the crossfire.

"We can only do our best," Bucky stated, "sometimes that's just not enough."

"Jeez, could the two of you be more depressing. Rumlow is a douche canoe of epic proportions, but he ain't perfect. He'll fuck up and you'll be there to take him down. Just, this time, make sure he stays dead would you?"

Bucky's eyebrows shot straight up at her matter of fact tone then he laughed, the pain not even slowing him down this time, the tension magically easing the instant he began.

I leaned over to kiss her on the top of the head. "Thank you. I'm going to call Sam and Wanda."

"Finally, get you out of my hair so's I can maybe get this one put back together," she snarked, getting the tone just right and encouraging me to smile.

Bucky sighed and rolled his eyes. "Well hurry up, I want get on with the being unable to sleep because I'm in too much pain."

"Now that there's some positive thinking."


	24. Chapter 24

_Bucky's POV_

The sun hadn't quite dipped down behind the castle, the shadows stretching out long towards the lake, not even a hint of a breeze to disturb the surface. I had brought a bottle of bourbon and two glasses like Steve had suggested. The last few weeks had been interesting. It had taken the better part of a week to heal up and get my arm fully functional again. When the pain had receded I'd returned to avoiding Rinn which she'd handled with ill grace.

To be fair, once she'd returned I'd been thrilled to see her, the arm a heavy weight with only minimal range of motion, and that stilted and jittery, the functionality requiring more than a simple reboot. I guess I hadn't realized how complicated the damn thing really was from a technical standpoint. It wasn't like Hydra had told me much of anything about it, and while the Wakandans had gone over the basics, I hadn't felt any real need to know or understand the details.

After this adventure I'd decided I would have to change that. I did not want to have to rely on others, could not guarantee that I would always have a safe haven to run to when in need of succor. The previous arm I'd been able to deal with, but even it had issues and I'd been forced to raid Hydra bases for parts. The fight on the helicarrier having damaged it enough to hamper using it for even basic things.

And yet… yet I had pushed away the one person who could have taught me what I needed to know. That one night at the Tower, staying in her bed in her suite had been far too pleasant even though I'd been in so much pain I could barely think straight. Her presence had somehow soothed me and permitted me to sleep reasonably well.

All the desperate longing had come back to screaming life, so when she'd arrived back at the castle I'd returned to being brusque, surly, and avoiding her as much as possible while beating up on the trainees in my aggravation.

Which had led to this. Steve probably wanting to chew my ass off for taking out my aggression on the trainees instead of talking to Rinn.

"You're not Steve."

I twitched and turned to find Rinn standing before me, fisted hands on her hips.

"I have the feeling we've been set up."

I couldn't even feign surprise at that. I'd been moody, and cranky and miserable and aside from the standard babysitting jobs hadn't had a lot to do. Rumlow appeared to have gone to ground. Figuring out who TJ worked for looked to be requiring torturing of the man himself in order to find the answer. No other overt moves had been made on Rinn, but there'd been plenty of suspicious incidents every time she was at some event.

Thankfully, the big ones were over for the year, most of her recent trips to drum up business or deal with unexpected problems on site with existing clients. We'd actually begun taking outside jobs, well paying jobs; thanks to the work we'd done for Cyko other high end companies were looking to Nomad for security.

"Steve wants one big happy family," she explained needlessly. "Doesn't like the kids fighting with each other."

"We haven't been fighting," I pointed out, also needlessly. We hadn't been anything. Once I'd gone back to ignoring and avoiding her, she'd done the same. For all intents and purposes not giving a flying fuck whether I was in her life or not.

As it should be.

The only thing I could give to her would be pain and suffering.

She waved at the bottle. "How about pouring a couple of those. Might as well not waste it. Willets, right?"

I nodded. I had no idea where Steve had picked it up, but he'd told me to bring it. Probably because Rinn liked it. I pulled out the stopper and poured a generous amount into the two glasses, handing her one. She leaned back against the waist high wall that ran around this section of the castle. It had probably been an archer's parapet originally, but at some point the higher sections had been removed, leaving the single higher than normal wall that ran the full length of the broadside. It ended at a side entrance to the Keep.

She swirled the bourbon around before taking a sip, her eyes closing as she enjoyed the burst of flavor on her tongue. "I'm not angry anymore. I understand why you did it and while it still hurts…" she trailed off shaking her head.

I didn't want to talk about this, didn't think I needed to explain, what to her must be obvious, but fucking Steve Rogers clearly felt we needed to hash this out, to deal with the emotions that I wanted no part of.

I wanted to walk away.

Be the simplest solution to the problem she had become for me… for us.

Instead I downed the bourbon and poured more for both of us.

"It's easier to stay away from you," I admitted, not quite able to meet her eyes, mostly because there was a fair portion of lie in my words. Being with her was too easy, felt too right and she seemed more than willing to go along with anything I needed or wanted, and that was the bigger problem. She was too kind. Too reasonable. Too amazing and deserved far better than me. Better than a man so far out of time he understood little of how the world worked. Better than a man so broken he didn't know who he was from one moment to the next.

"No, it's not." She swirled the amber liquid about but didn't drink this time, just watched as centrifugal force pulled it up the sides of the glass, coating it in a thin layer of the alcohol.

I chuckled darkly. "No, it's not," I agreed, "but it's safer for you." I believed that. I had to believe that. Had convinced myself that anyone that got close to me would end up hurt in one way or another. That included Steve and the others, but I figured he would just hunt me down again if I ran.

I'd had days where I seriously considered turning myself in. Actually paying for the crimes I had committed even though Steve would hate me for it. Even though no one blamed me. Blamed Hydra. Certain I had never been anything more than a tool in their hands.

"Why? Do you really think I've been compromised again?" I met her eyes, the green bright in the late afternoon sunshine. Gold sparking within their depths.

I'd permitted myself to drown in them once, I would fight tooth and nail to not do so again.

No matter how much I may have wanted to.

It had been so damn hard after the Tower. Spending all that time close to her. The comfort she offered without expecting anything in return. Her scary ability to draw out or send away the Soldier and never abusing it.

I wish I could know with certainty that what I felt for her could have even the slightest chance of being real and not manufactured feelings, could be more than a thin veneer of humanity layered over the monster I had become.

Except that she never seemed to see the monster, even when she had been the one to reveal him.

"No. But that doesn't mean I'm not."

She ran her hand through her hair, the fall of pale blonde causing me to swallow hard and fight the urge to run my fingers through it as well. "James-"

"You have no way of understanding what is going on in here." I tapped my left temple.

"Well, I have some idea. I'm pretty good at reading my neural maps after all."

Her attempt at humor fell flat since I refused to respond to it. "This was a bad idea."

I finished off the bourbon in the glass and set it down on the ledge. "Enjoy your evening, Laurin." I turned to walk away only to be stopped by her voice.

"What if you weren't compromised?"

I turned back. I shouldn't have. I should have just kept walking and ignored her words, but hope, something I had not felt in a very long time, flared to life within in. "What do you mean?"

She refilled my glass and held it out. "I mean this drink could be a celebratory one if you don't run away."

I didn't want to hope. I hoped every time I woke up that I wouldn't be turned into a ruthless assassin and be forced to kill yet another person. Hoped that there might be something more to my life than being a killer, or a trainer of other killers. Hoped that the man on the bridge who had called me by a name I almost but not quite remembered had seen something in me no one else had in decades: a human being.

I took the drink with a shaky hand. "You did it."

"I had help, but yes, I did it," she said so softly that I barely heard her. "I did promise, remember?"

I threw back the drink, not tasting it, an odd sensation flowing through me, one I had almost forgotten existed. "Yeah, you did."

She leaned back against the wall, rolling her glass between her hands. "I'll need to run some tests and I have to turn the original programming back on, but after that…" She shrugged as if unconcerned I would back out now.

I felt my heart leap from my chest and get firmly lodged in my throat. I wanted more alcohol, but feared I would choke on it. "You what?"

"The programming has to be fully active for me to remove it, so you will get your longing back." She must have seen the utter horror in my eyes no matter my efforts at keeping my face a neutral mask.

"James, you'll be perfectly safe. And I should be able to get it all done at once. One day and you'll be free of the Red Book programming… and me."

I turned to argue that last point, that I didn't really want to be rid of her, when a flash of something from across the lake caught my eye. A tiny, unexpected sparkle of light, the sun hitting a reflective surface about ten feet off the ground in near perfect line of sight for where we stood.

Without a second thought I grasped Rinn's left arm and pulled, the glass flying away to shatter on the hard stone of the deck. I flung her off to my right, where she rolled, coming up into a crouch, her martial arts training and increased reaction time enabling her to assess the situation and react accordingly. Two bullets impacted the wall and another one of the french doors behind me, tracking her movements.

I pressed the bone induction comms device behind my ear and barked, "We have a sniper across the lake." I turned to follow the movements of the optics, which remained in place for a few seconds then vanished. Only then did I turn to Rinn, who had remained crouched down out of direct view of the shooter.

Blood poured down her right arm. I hadn't been quite fast enough. I rushed over to her, but she waved me off.

"I'm fine. Just winged me."

A roar of engines overhead and we looked up to see Sam take to the skies. " _Where_?"

I pointed. "Straight across from here. Look for a nest in the trees, ten, twelve feet up."

" _Got it. I'll look for IR and see if we can track him."_

A moment later Wanda appeared, red energy keeping her in the air and following after Sam.

"Go," Rinn told me. I'll get inside and on the comms. See if I can get a sat online to abuse."

I helped her to her feet, making certain my body had been placed between her and the shooter, should he try again. "Laurin-"

She grinned. "Go." She pointed and this time I didn't argue, just bolted to the edge of the deck and jumped over, landing on the ground some twenty feet below.

Then I ran.

~^~

 

The shooter gone when we got there even though less than ten minutes had passed since I last saw the flash of sunlight on sniper optics. The IR showing his hiding spot with a swiftly fading heat signature. Sam had found an ancient cabin nearby where someone had been living for a few days. They had made minimal impact, leaving next to nothing behind aside from ashes in the fireplace and evidence he'd been damn good at what he did. Why someone would put out a hit on Laurin baffled all of us.

Steve had been upset as all hell that we'd had no warning until Rinn pointed out that she didn't own anything on that side of the lake, therefore there'd been no reason to set up any kind of security. He immediately set about changing that.

Wanda had suggested that maybe the shooter had been after me given there were mostly likely those who would want me, or rather, The Winter Soldier, dead. Governments, families of victims, remnants of Hydra. And while I could not disagree with any of that, it had been Rinn who'd been hit. Pulling her out of the way would not have put her _in_ the line of fire. Based on the location of her injury she been hit at almost the exact moment I had pulled her aside. If I hadn't it would have been a chest shot. Not a heart shot, but her upper right chest instead.

And the subsequent shots had tracked her and not me, who had remained in essentially the same position the entire time.

No, Rinn had most certainly been the target.

And they had intended to injure, not kill. Injure her badly enough to force her out of the protective embrace of the castle and those within it.

Question of the day: who this time? Best guess would be TJ's still mysterious employers, but it could have been anyone really, including someone upset that she harbored the fugitive Avengers and the former Fist of Hydra.

Hell, it could be a competitor who simply wanted her out of the way.

She'd managed to commandeer that satellite, but it hadn't shown much, the trees hiding the vehicle he had escaped in easily. The IR showing where it had gone, but by the time we'd gotten there he'd merged with a main road and had vanished. One of a thousand SUVs that traveled on that road daily.

"You could have been killed," Steve grouched, glaring at her as if it had been her fault.

"What? You want me to walk around in fully body armour in my own home?" She narrowed her eyes. "You sound remarkably like Tony right now."

Steve froze mid-step, heading snapping about to face her. "Maybe he has a point."

We still didn't have a doctor on staff so I did my best to clean the laceration while they argued. It had been a nice clean wound, if deep. Another half inch and it would have been a through and through instead of just an impressive gouge. The 'bots already fast at work repairing the damage and I didn't worry unduly about how long it had been taking. I'd seen the shirt and the three towels she'd used to staunch the bleeding while assisting us and waiting for the wound to heal.

She claimed to feel fine, but I suspected she was more than a touch lightheaded due to blood loss and hunger; her stomach growling non-stop since I sat down next to her. A few shots of bourbon not quite enough to provide the 'bots enough building material. She said she'd downed a couple multi-vitamins, which would help offset the need for more meaningful sustenance for a little while.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. Granted it's thanks to Mr. Eagle-eyes here, but fine just the same. This is my home, I am not going to hide. If I do then they've already won."

"They wanted you hurt, kiddo. Hell, you should've gone to the hospital for that," Sam gestured at her injured arm.

"There's nothing to do about it now," Wanda commented, clearly irritated with all the divisiveness. "We'll up the security where we can, but unless you plan on forcing her to stay here twenty-four/seven, there's nothing else to be done."

Steve shot a glare her way then sighed. "You're right. But we need take extra precautions starting tonight."

"Like what?" Rinn asked in suspicion.

"You'll stay in the Keep," I told her, "with me." Granted, I had a more pressing and personal reason than the others to make certain she stayed alive and healthy, so it might have been selfish, but it wasn't unreasonable either. The windows in the Keep comparatively small, while she had a huge set of french doors and a balcony of sorts that could potentially make her an easy target.

The shooter had managed multiple shots from over a mile away and had only failed because of luck and a mistake that might have been missed by anyone else. He must have been waiting for days for the opportunity to take a shot at her. While she did often spend time out on the patio area, she hadn't for some time since she'd been working on one of her many projects and buried deep within the castle. She might not have even come up for air if Steve hadn't set up that little intervention.

"With you? That's a tad presumptuous don't you think?" She didn't seem overly upset, but her eyebrows had gone up and a hint of amusement flickered in the depths of her eyes.

"Perhaps she'd be better off with me," Steve suggested, probably worried we'd do nothing but bicker and fight the entire time.

"Yeah, that'll go over real well with Sharon," Sam deadpanned, earning a snicker from Wanda. "Besides that puts Wanda above and you below. If they can get to her there, we've got much bigger problems."

"Hello, don't I get a vote on this?"

As one the four of us said, "No."

Dear god, I thought for certain she was going to kill one of us and with me being the nearest I would be the most likely to suffer her wrath.

"Laurin, you hired us to protect you, let us do that," Steve requested in a soft voice, an effort to cool her ire that almost worked.

"Isn't that what that fancy security system I paid for is supposed to do?"

"Cameras and motion sensors can't stop bullets," Wanda pointed out. She generated red energy around her right hand, "and I can hold this power only for so long. Protecting this entire castle for any length of time…" She shook her head. "Let us make certain whoever made this attempt is gone before you play target again."

The reasonable tone seemed to work though Rinn still clenched her jaw, obviously wanting to argue the point. "Forty-eight hours."

"Done," Steve agreed instantly, jumping on her acquiescence before she could change her mind. "One of us will be with you at all times. I'll brief our trainees and get them working on tracing who did this." He walked over to where Rinn sat on the table, the wound still bleeding sluggishly, and set a hand on her good shoulder. "You okay?"

She sighed then nodded. "Hungry. Tired, but alive thanks to James." She ran her fingers along my forearm as I applied a bandage that would probably be unnecessary in a couple more hours.

I managed to hide the shiver of pleasure, barely. "We'll get you fed in a couple minutes." Then to Steve, "Need to warn her employees of the incident and have them take precautions. Don't know if this was business or personal yet."

"I'll take care of that," Sam offered and Steve gave him the nod of approval. "Probably need to discourage any loitering outdoors for a few days, just in case."

"What next? Escorts to and from town? They have lives to live."

Steve squeezed her shoulder. "Here's hoping it won't come to that." He leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head, getting a tiny sigh for his efforts at placation. "Go get some food. We'll talk later."

Moments later we were alone. I finished taping the bandage into place. "All done, you may now feel free to scream and rant if you wish."

Instead, the brave, stubborn face she'd put on for the others crumbled, her bottom lip actually trembling as she fought the tears she would not permit to fall. "What the hell did I do that someone wants to shoot me?" she mused aloud in a strained voice.

I stood and cupped her face in my hands, her eyes cast downward, not willing to meet mine. "Nothing. You've done nothing to deserve any of this." I leaned my forehead against hers. "You deserve so much better than the shit we've brought down on you."

She wrapped her hands about my wrists. "Don't say that. You, all of you, are more than worth it. Hell, if anyone deserves better it's all of you. You save the world and they blame you for it?"

"I've saved nothing," I reminded, not able to keep the despairing tone out of my voice. "In fact, I'm part of the reason it has reached this tipping point."

"Hate to tell you this, but you were a tool and nothing more. They didn't mind wipe you regularly because you thought controlling the world through chaos was a good idea."

I couldn't help it, I chuckled, unable to argue the point right now, but at the same time I remained far from the heros the others had become. I did the only thing that made sense in that moment and kissed her.

She made a strangled sound in the back of her throat, her grip tightening on my wrists, but did not move them away. When I pulled back the tears had returned, for a different reason I suspected. She knew this would go no further, spending the night in my bed or not, because soon she would remove the programming and whatever I felt for her now would be wiped away with the block. The anchor no longer needed to keep me sane and free of the potential of being used by others.

"Dinner?" I suggested, hoping it did not come off as an offer of a date instead of filling a need she currently had.

She cocked her head, forcing a smile for me. "You buying?"

"Well, technically you are, but I'm willing to play host and heat and serve. Main kitchen or the Keep?" The main kitchen actually better protected overall even though there was ground level access right to the area for deliveries and such. The current kitchen built on the bones of the original one, the massive stone fireplace still in there along one wall including bread ovens. Supposedly it still worked, but we had never used it, finding the far more modern gas stoves far easier. Or in the case of me and Steve, the microwave. We were both utter failures as cooks, a skill we had never really learned, though in this day and age we really needed to.

"Keep, I suppose. Need to grab some things from my suite first though. Comfy as it may have been I doubt you want me wearing your clothes this time."

I leaned my forehead against hers, a gesture I doubted I would ever be able to stop doing even if we were never anything more than friends after. I refused to believe that I would be unable to call her friend, considering all that she had done for me with nothing gained in return, except for housemates that caused far more trouble than they could ever be worth.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know," she agreed with a soft sigh.

Her stomach grumbling quite loudly silenced any other words she may have spoken and she pulled back with an embarrassed laugh, brushing away the few tears she had permitted to fall.

"We need to feed that thing."

"And soon. I swear my stomach is chewing on my backbone."

I stepped back, holding out a hand for her to take, an old-fashioned gesture of kindness, but one she had grown up with being in a military family. She took my hand, hopped off the table, and proceeded to collapse, her legs not willing to hold her up. I managed to get a grip on her bicep, sadly of her injured arm and keep her from hitting the floor, but it was a near thing. Blood soaked the bandage immediately and she grunted in discomfort.

"Shit. Sorry." I got her upright and scooped her up into my arms, not willing to risk her falling again. "You should have healed by now."

"Probably," she agreed far too amicably, and it wasn't difficult to figure out she'd damn near fainted when she'd tried to stand. Ignoring her pitiful attempts at protests, I carried her to her suite setting her down with great care outside her locked door. She swayed, but remained vertical this time. She dragged out the key and got the door open without too much effort. I dashed to her kitchen and did a quick search, finding the power bar stash next to the fridge. I ripped one open and held it out to her. She glared at it for a moment, her face tingeing over to green as her body debated whether it would be able to keep the food down, the hunger having turned to nausea, a horrible feeling I had become familiar with when held captive by Hydra.

She ate the entire thing, never once appearing to enjoy it. They weren't bad, and me and Steve kept them stashed all over the place, our metabolisms requiring we eat often and in copious quantities. And protein was a must. So, power bars, mostly whey, but sometimes mixed with soy protein to keep us going between meals, especially when on the job. Lifting concrete walls off of victims burned a lot of calories and we had to replace them somehow.

Steve had once joked that he needed to invest in those companies given how much he spent on their products. Rinn had countered with him doing commercials for them as he'd probably get product for free.

"I'm going to shower and change," Rinn told me sounding tired. The food would help, but it would be a few minutes before she began to perk up a bit. The 'bots only able to do so much at once.

She staggered off to her bedroom, kicking the door partway shut behind her.

I hadn't been in her suite before and had to admit the decor fit in with what I knew about her. I wandered the rooms, noting the many family pictures on the various horizontal surfaces. They were fools to have thrown her away due her loyalty to her friends. People who had saved the world on any number of occasions in the last few years.

She had books that ranged from high fantasy to neurophysics, her interests eclectic and ever expanding based on what I had heard. I didn't want to think about how much work had gone into solving the riddle of removing the Winter Soldier programming from my thick skull.

Creating her neural mapping technique had certainly been challenging enough, but she'd taken it further to figure out how to manipulate actual memories, alter or possibly even remove them without the need of months of hypno or psychotherapy.

It had taken months to beat, sometimes literally, the programming into me. I had scattershot memories of those days, which eventually had been coupled with the regular wiping of my mind to rid me of… me. Destroy Bucky and leave nothing but a blank template in its place. One they could mold into anything or anyone they wanted.

They'd wanted a complaint stone cold killer.

They'd gotten me.

Remnants of James Barnes lingering in the background, waiting patiently for the chance to come screaming back into an existence he… I would be utterly baffled by.

A brave new world where once again I had been saved by Steve Rogers.

"You okay?"

I set the photograph I hadn't realized I'd been holding down and turned to see Rinn standing across the room. Faded jeans, one of her many band t-shirts, this one The Ramones, and pulling an oversized sweater over her head. It had a decided military style and color, that not quite dark green much of the clothing had been made from. A bag sat on the floor next to her that I recognized as her version of a go bag. For those emergency weekend client trips. She might have just swapped out the work clothes for comfy stay at home ones, but it would have everything else including toiletries.

"Fine, why?"

"You had this really wistful look on your face." She slung the bag over her shoulder and padded over to me in bare feet, the stone floor probably cold. Fall had arrived here in mountains, at least at night, thus the sweater she had chosen to wear for the evening.

"Regret, I suppose. Wish we hadn't been the cause of the mess with your family." I walked over to her and took the bag, her resisting only a little. She'd gone from pale to bright pink while getting cleaned up. I set the back of my hand against her forehead, her eyes going wide at my unexpected move.

"What?"

"You look flushed and not in the fun way. I thought you didn't get sick?" She felt warmer than she should, but it could simply be from the shower. Her damp hair pulled back into wet ball at the base of her head.

"I don't. Just need food." She placed one hand on her hip and eyed me. "You reneging on dinner?"

I shook my head. "Not at all." I took her left hand into mine and tugged her into motion. "Got your tablet and such? I know you'll probably want to work all evening."

"In my office. I'll get them later."

I faux gasped. "I thought you tech heads couldn't survive being out of contact for more than few minutes."

She snickered, then shoved the sleeve up her forearm to keep it from sliding over both our hands.

"Your brother's?" I asked as we stepped out into the hallway. I plucked the key from her fingers and locked the door, giving her the oversized key back with an odd feeling of reluctance.

"My dad's," she answered, "I don't wear it that often since it's not exactly in the best shape these days, but I wanted the comfort."

She might have spent the last few years being superhero adjacent and put in the line of fire during missions, but I suspected this had been the first time the target had been exclusively her. And a sniper of all things. She had every right to be more than a touch freaked out and in need of comfort.

But then again she was usually so stoic and unruffled you would think nothing would ever bother her. The fact that she had let down her guard around me said something, I just wasn't ready to look to deeply into the meaning especially when in a few days she would be changing the entire game anyway.

Once the blocking program had been lifted she would no longer be the anchor and I might… I hated to think it, but I might not give a damn about her any longer.

"You miss your family." The words, perhaps sounding foolish coming from me. "Ignore me," I muttered and she squeezed my hand in reaction as we went down the stairs, having to cross the width of the castle to get from her rooms to the Keep.

She nudged me with her arm. "I will not. And I will not let you go back to being Mr. Grumpy Cat. I just gave you some really good news and you act like it's the end of the world as we know it."

"And then someone shot you."

"And missed, mostly, thanks to you. These are good things. You really need to learn to appreciate them again."

"Appreciate what?" Wanda asked as we entered the Keep common room, which had remained an open area, the stairs curling up about the one side that led to our rooms on the floors above.

I'd forgotten she had kitchen duty this week. "We can go to the main kitchen if you want be alone," I whispered in Rinn's ear, trying to ignore the scent of the vanilla in her hair from the shampoo.

She turned to meet my eyes. "This'll work. Prevent the rest of them from worrying I'll get into more trouble without trying."

I sighed. She had a point. "I'll take your bag upstairs."

She gave me a wan smile and stepped away, joining Wanda in the kitchen. "What are we making tonight?"

"Steve suggested chili… Thought you might like some comfort food."

Rinn managed a strained laugh that faded as I jogged up the stairs with her bag in hand. I rarely kept my door locked, not seeing any need to keep the others out, especially since Steve was pretty much the only one who ever came to my door. And he _always_ knocked, even if my door stood wide open as an invitation to enter, he knocked. Respecting my privacy. Which was interesting given my entire life had been plastered all over the internet. Hell, those files told me more about my life than I could remember on my own.

After a few moments of indecision, I set her bag on my coffee table, figuring we'd sort out the details later. I, of course, immediately had second, third, and fourth thoughts about having her stay with me. Maybe she would be better off with Steve or Wanda even. The girls got along well enough and Rinn was much closer in age to Wanda than the rest of us, plus both female. That, from what I had learned, an automatic bonding rule or something.

Then again, Rinn wasn't exactly typical, and she and Wanda had almost nothing in common aside from being dragged into the superhero life kicking and screaming in protest.

I took a moment to clean up, turned out I had some of her blood smeared on the side of my neck and on my hands. And my shirt, damn it. I pulled off the green tee and tossed on a black one instead, noting I needed to do laundry in the near future.

Then I told myself to stop dawdling and went back downstairs to find Steve and Sam had joined the party, though still in the clothes from earlier, both dirty and dusty from their hunt through the woods. Rinn sat at the counter, gulping down what looked like a smoothie and looking pale.

"What the hell?"

"She tried to faint," Wanda informed me. "I'd already prepped that disgusting drink at Steve's request and, once certain she wouldn't fall over again, made her drink it."

That was so far from normal that I couldn't keep my mouth shut. No, I wasn't an expert on her enhancements, but I had never seen her react this way, no matter how bad the wound. Even in Wakanda she been able to handle the hunger without her legs folding every time she tried to stand. I shot a look at Steve, who had his contemplative worried face on, putting the pieces together for himself.

As soon as Rinn came up for air Steve was at her side. "Let me see."

She shot a deadly look his way, but pulled the sweater up and off her right arm. She had changed the bandage, but fresh blood had seeped into the white of the gauze again.

She still hadn't healed and it had been a few hours since she'd been hurt.

Something was wrong.

"What the hell was in that bullet?" I asked as Steve peeled up the gauze to look at the damage.

While the wound itself appeared to be smaller, not quite as deep, it had also become puffy and red around the edges, as if it had become infected, which would explain her appearing flushed and warm to the touch not that long ago.

"There were no bullets," Sam told me.

"She got hit with something and a least three others hit the building," I pointed out, waving at the evidence that Steve probed at making Rinn hiss in pain and glare at him.

"We know, but we found no actual bullets. Just this weird material in the holes that degraded almost too fast to be real when we tried to get a sample for testing," Sam explained with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Organic bullets?" Wanda asked. "Is that possible?"

"Didn't say organic, just… weird. Though I suppose an organic component is possible. Could explain the quick degradation." He scratched the back of his head. "Kiddo, any chance you got a swab of your arm?"

She nodded. "For all the good it'll do us, I'd been bleeding freely for some time and then slapped a temp bandage on while I was assisting you. It's running as we speak, but I doubt there will be much to find."

"You look like shit," Sam told her.

"And you should have healed by now," Steve added as he gently replaced the bandage.

She wiggled back into the sweater. "Stop freaking out. The 'bots have to learn when they encounter something new. Give 'em some time."

"So you do think there was something more to the bullets," Wanda jumped on that faster than I could, turning slightly from the pot of simmering chili to meet those tired green eyes.

"Makes sense, but without a viable sample I can't tell you what, other than it clearly has been designed to interfere with my 'bots."

I felt the blood drain from my face at those words. "That means they know about your nanobots."

She shook her head. "No, it means they suspect. Or at least suspect I'm enhanced without knowing any specifics."

"Maybe we should call Tony, he knows your 'bots almost as well as you," Steve suggested, walking that fine line between his friends. He'd trusted Tony when we'd needed help a few weeks back, going to the Tower when we'd been too broken to take care of ourselves. Granted Tony had never been seen by us, the battle lines still drawn, just not as sharply defined as before.

"Steve, I'll be fine. Just need to give them a chance to figure things out." She spun about on the chair and poked him in the chest.

"You don't know that," he groused. He wanted to save her, but couldn't this time. This wasn't something he could control and it was driving him just a touch mad.

"Idiot. Yes, it hasn't healed as fast as expected, but it has healed a bit. Yes, I appear to have an infection, but given that normally occurs after days, not mere hours, it's a good-ish sign."

"Because you're running through the symptoms at an accelerated rate." Sam had caught on faster than the rest of us. "So you'll be miserable for the next few hours and then everything will get back to normal?"

"Should. Not the first time this has happened."

"What happens if your 'bots are affected?" Wanda asked, dropping that unwelcome bomb into the room without warning.

"She'll die… eventually." Steve sounded as if she had been lost already.

"Everything dies… eventually," she admonished. "If it'll make you feel better call Tony. He'll laugh at you and tell you wait twenty-four hours before freaking out."

Steve frowned but nodded. "If you're still not healed by morning I'm making that call."

"Fine, Mr. Worrywort, now go take a shower. Dinner will be ready when you get back."

"You take these situations too lightly," he informed her, tone sharp.

"If I don't I'll end up like Tony, hiding in my cave and trying to build a wall around me that no one can get through. Would that be better?" She cocked her head. "Or I could just give in. Go back to playing the good government enabler, devote my life to giving them power they don't deserve, and be able to see my family again."

"Thought we were your family, kiddo?" Sam sounded hurt, but Steve just sighed heavily.

"That's the point she's making, Sam." Steve looked sheepish, which I hadn't seen in a long time. Wasn't often he made the wrong call even before the serum. "Just don't take unnecessary chances, okay."

"I swear if I'd had any clue I'd be shot on my own patio I would have told you no earlier."

Sam snorted. "And she just expertly shifted the blame onto your shoulders."

Steve just sighed heavily. "Don't get into trouble while we're gone."

"No promises," she told him with a grin.


	25. Chapter 25

Rinn's health had improved over the course of the evening, so that by the time she'd decided to head to bed the gunshot had almost healed. The new flesh red and raw looking, but the gouge having finally been repaired, though it looked like she might have earned a scar this time. Whatever the bullets had been made from actually affecting either her or her bots enough for them to be unable to properly correct the injury.

I walked her up to my room, following the dictate of not leaving her alone for any reason, and waited patiently while she changed for bed. She'd been flagging noticeably for the last hour or so, but had resisted the call of sleep in a vain attempt to keep up with the super-soldiers in the room. Sam and Steve had cleaned up, not permitting Rinn to lift a finger, other than to drink and eat. Steve hadn't even permitted her alcohol in case it might interfere with her 'bots trying to figure things out.

When I'd suggested she go upstairs she had argued, but without her usual enthusiasm. She'd grumbled, but one look from Steve and she'd backed down.

Her body had spent a lot of energy healing, even though she'd inhaled a ton of the chili, she needed to crash and recharge her and her 'bots' batteries.

She stood in the doorway, running a brush through her hair. "Sorry I took so long."

I glanced at my watch. She'd been in there all of twenty minutes. "It's fine. Not like I have anywhere to be." Even after the excitement of today, I wasn't all that tired and would probably sit up half the night trying to distract myself from her. She wore an ancient pair of gym shorts, different from the ones she'd had at that conference, and a surprisingly modest tank top that I would bet had a sports bra beneath. Not changing her preferred style, while still protecting my virtue.

And yet she still looked lovely and made me want to sweep her up into my arms, carry her to that bed and do extremely inappropriate things to her till well after dawn.

This may not have been the best plan.

The red streak across her arm still raw looking, but didn't appear to be interfering with her movement at all. "You're going to be bored all night."

My lips twitched. "No more so than any other night," I told her in all honesty. "I usually spend a few hours in the training room." I didn't need to sleep all that much, one of those side benefits and given the nightmares I had on a regular basis, I avoided it if at all possible. I could sleep every night, if only for a few hours, I just didn't need to the way normal humans did.

"We can still do that if you like."

I had to wonder why she wanted to avoid sleeping. "You look wiped, I am not going to spar with you tonight."

"Didn't offer to, but if you want to beat on a heavy bag or three I can sit in the corner and work."

I got to my feet and walked over to her. "I'll not-sleep on the couch. Just need a few minutes to clean up and change."

"I am not forcing you out of your huge-ass bed. We're grown ups, we can share a bed without killing each other." She worked the brush through a snag, the light picking up the almost silver highlights in her hair. I'd seen this before and knew the routine relaxed her.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." I doubted I would be able to resist her if in the same room, much less the same bed. So why the fuck did I volunteer for this? Probably because that underlying need to be near her spoke up before I could take the time to think of a real option.

"Chicken," she accused, then yawned hugely. "Go get changed, I'll be patient for fifteen minutes and then I'm dragging you into bed. You can read or learn Gaelic or something."

I shook my head at her to avoid laughing. How she made me laugh surprised me regularly. "And if I already speak Gaelic?"

She stuck out her tongue at me. "Then you can read Fifty Shades of Gray on your tablet while I snore at you."

I snorted. "You don't snore… much."

She swatted at me with the brush, which I dodged, not able to prevent the grin from escaping this time. I'd had the opportunity to see this lighter side of her before, but in my efforts to push her away had forgotten how easily she could make me smile, how she didn't look at me as if waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something to go horribly wrong or for me to say the worst possible thing. Or the concern when one of the others thought they'd made some comment that would offend me, no matter how true it might have been.

They looked at me as if I were a loaded gun with a hair trigger.

Even Steve some days, my bad days admittedly, but not Rinn. Even when being a total asshole to her, she didn't try to fix the problem, just gave as good as she got. She'd been so angry at me, but the moment I'd gotten hurt she'd let it fall away. She taken all due care when she'd returned, not crossing the lines I'd put down, but it had been easier knowing that she still cared, that my efforts at chasing her away had actually failed, even if I still believed I needed to keep her much further than arms length. That I was an innocent in all this and not a monster.

_She looked at me._

"Laurin…"

She shook her head. "Go on." She strode past me and settled on the couch, the brush moving slowly through her long blonde hair.

I watched her for a few seconds and then went into my bedroom to get ready for bed.

I grabbed what I needed and hid in the bathroom to take a quick shower and change. My time spent out in the woods cut short when we realized Rinn had been left home alone with employees who could end up in the line of fire and hurt or killed in lieu of her. Or in addition to. Without knowing exactly who the shooter might be we had no idea if they'd be willing to go through others to get to her.

I could have easily been shot earlier, lucking out that the bullets had impacted to either side of me. She'd been the target of the unusual bullets and I could only wonder what they would have done to me if I'd been hit.

The shooter had missed only because he'd made an error, one a true expert would never have. I knew, I had pulled off similar shots a time or three. He had failed to account for the position of the sun and it had revealed his location at the critical moment. Granted he may have been forced into the decision to take the shot over waiting for a better one that might never have come.

The far side of the lake the one weakness in our defenses that we would need to correct if we wanted to prevent this from happening again. And I suspected it would happen again. Someone was targeting Rinn. Why? I had no clue yet since there were too many possibilities. We needed to narrow the field and figure out specifics.

I quickly washed and dried, going through that nightly routine I had set for myself in an effort to normalize. It had helped when I'd been living in Budapest, but not quite so much since. Only on rare occasions had I crawled into bed and fallen asleep within a reasonable amount of time.

I stepped out of the bathroom, though calling the luxurious space a bathroom understated it's expansiveness by miles, to find Rinn already in the bed. She'd taken the left side, remembering that I prefered the right. I had to wonder if she'd checked to see if I had a gun stashed between the mattresses - I did - before lying down under the heavy covers. I tended to keep my rooms cooler than most preferred, something about the weight of the blankets piled atop me bringing an odd sense of comfort.

"Sorry," she mumbled, "couldn't keep my eyes open any longer." She had one of my journals in her hands, her hair pulled back into a long braid cascading over one shoulder, her sleepy gaze roving over the pages.

"It's fine," I muttered, hanging the towel up then walking over to the bed and watching her for a long moment. She had settled way over near the edge, as if concerned about impinging on my personal space. Of course, I had been the fool to tell her she'd stay with me, no way for her to not be in my personal space, at least a little bit anyway. Whether or not I liked it, it would be an issue I supposed. Just had to make the best of it.

"I don't have cooties," she groused, looking at me through her lashes.

"Do they still say that?" I flipped up the covers and slid into their cool embrace. Then I shifted the pillows so that I'd be reasonably comfortable sitting up. I would probably read for a while, if not most of the night, not certain I could sleep, much less should. Hard to protect her while unconscious.

"Well, those under the age of eight or so, I imagine. I know it was still at thing when I was that age."

"You actually went to a regular school?" Given how smart she was I expected private schools and tutors.

"On base, but yes. They wanted me to be able to socialize with those my age. I had a special curriculum for my bigger than average brain, but I still had to learn to color between the lines like everyone else. I simply understood the difference between RGB and RYB, where the others simply wanted to eat the crayons."

I laughed at that. No wonder she came across as so… ordinary at first. She understood people, which a lot of other really smart people seemed unable to do. "You got to be a kid as well as a prodigy."

"That's one way to look at it. My family wasn't rich or anything, but dad's job meant he had some influence and people he knew noticed me and recognized my potential at an early age so they helped facilitate my education. They all had their plans for me, of course, most of which got knocked out of alignment when I got sick." She closed the journal and rolled, hands curling up under the pillow to watch me. "Tony doesn't remember, but Stark Industries offered to pay for my education if I'd come work for them after I graduated. One of the few places that didn't didn't renege on the deal when I got sick. They renewed the offer every semester until it became clear I would be forging my own path."

"Could they have known you'd get better?" Scary thought, but possible.

"Doubtful. Until me, this disease has always been fatal once it manifests."

"And you cheated."

"Exactly," she agreed. "Guess I was always destined to work with Tony."

"You don't believe that. You blamed him for killing your dad and brother for a long time." Yeah, I'd done my homework on her, probably knew things about her I shouldn't, but I kept them to myself, wanting to give her the opportunity to tell me without coercion.

"I didn't blame him, precisely. I blamed the tech and the fact he insisted there was no glitch."

"So you planned your life to prove him wrong." I knew the story, had heard a couple different versions, but all agreed she had worked her ass off to do exactly that. Her game programming, which led to the simulation programming, which led to the sim suits using her neural mapping technique. All of it tied together. Her nanobots the only outlier in her skill set.

"Why nanotech?"

"Huh?" she asked sleepily.

"Well, all your other skills follow from one to the other except for the nanotech. Gaming to sims logical. The neural mapping I get because it allowed you to interface with the computers systems, which you then rolled into your games and sims, but not the nanotech."

"I was severely depressed after getting my diagnoses. My dad wanted me to sign up for some classes as a distraction, suggested I focus on something small. I kind of took his words literally."

I chuckled. "You found a class on nanotech and discovered you had a knack for it." That I could see, and even though it had no real use in her current profession she kept working with it because she knew she could do some good.

"One hell of a knack as it turned out. I had still planned to be a test pilot like dad back then even though everyone tried to steer me to design, seemed like a waste of my brain to end up being nothing more than a flyboy."

"Then they have no clue how complicated those machines are. Ever thought about designing quinjets?"

"I have designed quinjets. Tony goggles every time I send him a new one, but it's just a hobby. When I can't get a design out of my head I put it to paper and send it off to him." She shifted again, her legs moving restlessly under the covers. "Why didn't you tell the others the good news?"

I set down the tablet that had gone dark anyway during our conversation. "I figured you would, I guess."

"Silly, it's not my news to tell. And you don't have to, we can do this in secret if you prefer, surprise Steve with your Soldier free brain when it's done." She shifted closer, resting her head against my arm, which could not have been comfortable, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Probably better if he knew. Might want him there in case things go badly. Need someone who can put me down."

"Jeez, you're not some rabid animal that needs to be taken out back and shot." She sounded truly offended at my choice of words, but she had never believed the reality. That I would never be more than a horrible human being who deserved whatever pain or suffering might be coming my way to repay for all that I had caused. "Is that really how you see yourself?"

"And if I said yes?"

"The you'd be a fool. Look at how many of us would go to the ends of the earth for you? Are we all fools as well?"

"One of them is an idiot according to you." As I had hoped, the twist of humor eased the strained mood that had begun to build. "I have a lot to atone for, more than any of you know, but being here, knowing you all believe in me…"

She wrapped her arms about mine, giving me the hug I needed without pushing the boundary too far. I wanted more, hell, my body craved more at this point, but I would not. Would not fall. Would not push her away. Would be her friend and try to make certain she didn't get shot again today.

Would not abuse the trust she had given me freely and without demands.

"I was never your anchor. Not really."

"Why do you say that?"

She picked up the journal she'd been reading and held it out to me. I set down the tablet and took it, allowing it to fall open onto one of the many bookmarked pages. Each a memory or moment I had wanted to etch into my mind. Some so fleeting I had no reference point beyond the tiny slice of life I had spontaneously recalled. Those that I could place in time and space had that added. I'd been able to reference some of the memories to the Hydra mission files, but there were so many others that I couldn't place, that lacked context beyond the moment of time I had put on the page.

"Who have you written on almost every page in here?"

I read a few of the passages, the underlined words, the notations, dozens of languages and places and times, none of which followed a coherent pattern. "Uh…"

"Steve." She tapped his name on the page currently open. Flipped to one a dozen pages further in and circled his name with her forefinger. A dozen times, a dozen flips and every single time Steve's name had been written there. "He's been your anchor all along. I'm sorry I got in the way of that."

_In the way…_ "Laurin, I may have fucked this up…"

She snorted. "Literally."

I ignored her comment no matter how true. "... but I appreciate everything you have done for me. If it wasn't for you being as stubborn as you are I would probably still be in cryo and Steve still hiding in Wakanda. The world needs him. Needs them. Even if they are being cockwaffles about it."

She sighed, relaxing against me, her body finally demanding that she sleep and recover. "Needs you too," she mumbled.

I liked that she believed that no matter how untrue it was. I sighed and kissed her on top of her head. "Go to sleep. I'll keep the monsters away."

And for once I didn't include myself under the heading of _monster_.

"Do you really remember all of them?" she asked, her voice sleep fuzzed and faint.

I waited until certain she'd fallen asleep before answering, "Not yet."

 

~^~^~^~

 

Rinn rattled off a sentence and I felt a shift in my head. It didn't hurt or anything like that, just made the inside of my mind feel different.

"What did she just say?" Steve asked from where he leaned against the wall across from me. I had insisted he be here, just in case. If things went sideways and the Soldier decided to make a full appearance I wanted someone to defend Rinn. Yes, she could handle herself, but if he got it into his head to kill one of them an army would not be able to stop him.

I repeated the words, the Romanian rolling off my tongue easily.

He frowned. "In english."

I smiled. "The turtle ate the plums."

Steve blinked head shaking in amusement. "Okay, that's what I thought I heard, I just didn't want to believe it."

"What? We needed something that wouldn't be said by accident." Rinn picked up the neural net. "Dr. Kin had me pick it and he programmed it in. I don't think Wanda even knew."

"Wait? That's it? The block is gone?"

She cocked her head. "You tell me. What is the Russian word for longing."

"Zhelaniye," I answered without even thinking about it. That word no longer an odd echo in my head. I met Rinn's eyes, her carefully neutral look, knowing that with the return of that word my link to her would be gone. That those deeper emotions, those false emotions it had accidentally created would be gone as well. I looked her in the eyes and felt… nothing.

I could remember what I'd felt before, the desperate need I had had for her, but now I saw no more than a beautiful woman who might be able to assist in giving me my life back.

"Laurin-"

She shook her head ever so slightly, cutting off whatever placating words I may have forced myself to say. She'd been fully aware this might happen. That once she'd given me that word back she would lose. How much exactly, we would have to wait and see, I supposed.

I didn't hate her. I trusted her enough to permit her to continue, but didn't need or want anything from her beyond that.

Well, shit.

"So, you're telling me all that work to set the block into place and all it takes is one sentence to remove it?" Steve sounded as dumbfounded as I felt.

"Well, yes. We knew that we'd figure this out eventually and didn't want to have to deal with a long drawn out process to turn the programming back off. Would you really want to deal with three days to wind it down just to move to the next step?"

I shook my head.

"Good thing too since Dr. Kin ended up dead. I'm good, but hypnotherapy is a bit out of my skill set. We'd've had to read in another expert and hope he could manage to undo the programming without making things worse."

"Too bad we have no clue why he was killed." I'd been more than a touch concerned when Dr. Kin had died. Though at the time it had been due to the more immediate concern of Rinn being the unexpected anchor.

"Oh, we know why. Have for a while now."

Steve cleared his throat, suggesting he hadn't wanted her to mention that.

"He deserves to know, especially now."

"What's so especially about now?" I asked, looking from one to the other. The staring contest broken when Steve turned away, eyes cast to the floor. "Steve, what is going on?"

He just kept his head down until Rinn huffed in irritation and explained, "Every single server that was blown up had some of my neural maps on them. Most for sim purposes. Granted it wasn't the only commonality, but it is an interesting one, considering who we suspect has the Hydra mind wipe machine."

"Can they do anything with those neural maps without your computer system?" I suspected the answer, but while I didn't want to hear it, knew I needed to.

"We don't know," Steve said, finally lifting his head and meeting my eyes with a heavy gaze full of worry. "It is possible they can use them to create a system that would allow them to build their own, but it wouldn't be easy and wouldn't be quick."

"You're saying they can reverse engineer a machine to create and use her neural mapping technique with nothing but a few scans? That seems… farfetched."

"Well the simulator machines all have programming that connects to the sim suit functionality, which requires a viable neural map. It's not the full system, but..." Rinn shrugged. "Tony could probably do it. He wouldn't," she hastily added, "but he could."

"Which means there are potentially others who could as well," Steve finished, stating the obvious.

If Rinn had figured out how to put things in as well as take them out that meant whoever had her neural maps could as well. "They have my map."

She nodded. "Yes."

And with that they could, potentially, create new Winter Soldiers with a scary ease. Just shove the programming into their heads, say the words, and you'd have a perfect little puppet ready to comply.

"Oh fuck. Why didn't you tell me?" I wanted to surge to my feet and pace the room, but kept my place, tried to slow the racing of my heart.

"Didn't want to worry you," Steve grumbled, glaring at Rinn. "Rinn and I have been working it alone."

Which meant no one else on the team knew either, not that that made me feel any better, but it was good to know I hadn't been singled out in the information blackout. "Once this is done you will fill me in and I'll work it with you. There is no way in hell I will subject anyone else to this programming."

"Bucky-"

"No. Fuck, Steve, this is what broke the Avengers, remember?"

"The Accords did that," Steve muttered, but even I didn't buy it.

"No, going after the other Winter Soldiers did. In the end anyway." I scrubbed my hands over my face, the contrasting sensation of skin and metal alloy an odd distraction to the anger and frustration boiling within me. "Would you be able to modify the maps to take away a person's control?" I asked of Rinn.

She went still, lips thin and face pale. "In theory? I could wipe a person completely and put in whatever the hell I want."

I jabbed a hand at her and turned to Steve. "Tell me this isn't a problem. No matter how right, how for the greater good the intentions, it's wrong. From everything you've said Ross is freaking out over enhanced. What are the chances he won't just erase the ones he can't control and put in what he thinks should be there?"

Steve shook his head. "He wouldn't."

"If he became desperate enough he would," Rinn stated. "For the greater good, of course."

"Shit," Steve muttered. "How did you manage this?"

Rinn shrugged. "It wasn't that hard, actually."

"Well, that's fucking scary," I informed her, trying to keep the horror out of my voice and failing from the looks of it.

"Not like it's something new. I just made it insanely easy to accomplish. Tony was more than a touch shocked himself."

"We can't let this tech get out." Steve shoved away from the wall to pace the room.

"No shit," Rinn groused, "but can we freak out later, please. I have something else on my plate right now."

He twisted about to glare at her, but she had a point. Here I sat, programming block free, and while safe here, if we waited the greater the potential of abuse. Hell, one of her employees saying the command words as a joke and they'd find themselves with a compliant Winter Soldier waiting for orders. Yeah, they might not abuse the privilege, but why risk it.

"She has a point."

Steve muttered under his breath. "I want a full debrief when we're done here. Finding who has those maps has just become a priority."

"Yes, Captain." She clicked her heels and snapped off a saucy salute, then, "Now for the boring bit." She brought over the neural net and set it atop my head, making certain the necessary sensors were in their proper positions.

"How long?" I asked as she stepped away to retrieve the tablet that would control the system.

"Fifteen minutes, then we can move on to the next step."

That next step was using her modified neural system to remove the programming from my brain. I heard my heart rate spike, the attached sensors giving it away, but it wasn't fear. No, I looked forward to this, to actually gaining my freedom for the first time in decades. To no longer have the horror of becoming the Winter Soldier hanging heavy on my mind and soul.

My personal Sword of Damocles removed.

"It'll be okay, Buck," Steve assured me, not understanding that I wasn't worried, that anticipation had my heart rate up. "You sure this'll work?"

"Positive. Worked fine on Tony. We removed and then replaced memories. We dampened emotions and spiked them." She looked right at Steve. "Do you really think I'd even mention it to him," She waved at me, "if I had the least bit of uncertainty? This is his mind, his memories, the whole of him I'm playing with. I would not risk that."

"You can put memories back?" I asked, a shiver of fear spiking my adrenaline for an instant.

She nodded. "Just overlay them from the previous map," she answered distractedly, her focus on the map she currently gathered from me.

"Christ." That meant I could be turned back into the Fist of Hydra if someone got a hold of the right neural map… and all the tech, and understood how to make it all work, which, right now, was a grand total of two people at most. Neither of which had any interest in dealing with the monster that lived under my bed, or in my psyche. "You have a very dangerous mind," I complained.

"Thought I was the right nerd for the job?" Her eyes flicked to meet mine through her lashes, the majority of her focus on the tablet in her hands, the subtle pulses of the headgear I wore reminding me we were actually in the middle of something of importance.

"You are," Steve told her, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his jeans and shoulders hunched forward, signalling his unhappiness with the news she'd just given us.

I had about a million and half questions I wanted to ask her, but they could wait until I had some assurances I wouldn't turn into Hydra's pet killer ever again.

She bounced between the tablet and desktop computer, watching the information there with care, while I grew bored and Steve worried at his lower lip, waiting for that shoe to drop and everything to go to hell in a fancily decorated handbasket. "Steve, the vein in your right temple is going to explode if you don't stop stressing."

He chuckled softly, the building tension easing, if only slightly. None of us would really relax until this had been completed. "Sorry."

"Don't be. He's your friend and I am quite literally going to be playing with his brain. You have every right to be worried." She never even looked over at him, but a tiny smile turned the corners of her lips up. "Anything you want me to add while I'm in there? Circus clown skills? Contemporary dance? Oh, I know, deep sea fishing."

Steve snorted. "Ah, no. He can add those later if he wants. Let's just get rid of the Winter Soldier for now."

At that she did look at him. "You realize I can't do that… okay, I can, but I won't."

"Uh, thought that's what this was about?"

Yeah, I had kind of thought that myself.

"No. I'm removing the programming only." The tablet lowered, held in one hand as she looked from one of us to the other, her gaze serious. "I have no intention of erasing several decades of memories... unless you truly want that?"

Her green eyes bored into mine. "You can do that?"

She nodded. "I can. You'd be Bucky Barnes again, nothing else. Everything you learned, everything you were during your time with Hydra gone."

"Bucky-"

I shook my head. "No. Just the programming. I won't deny what I did. Besides I'd be fucking useless to you if all I remembered was from the war."

Steve gave me a sad smile, but nodded, permitting me my choice.

"Good. You ready for this?"

I took that to mean she had what she needed from the newest neural map. "Yes."

She removed the neural net and set it aside, opening the case that had been sitting on the desk the whole time. We knew what was inside, but being told how this was going to work and actually doing it didn't feel the same. I wanted this over with in so many ways, so why did I suddenly terrified now that is was actually happening.

"Do you need a break?" she asked, watching me with care.

I hated that she could read me so easily and endeavored to get that poker face back into place. "Can we? Will it screw thing up if we stop here?"

She shook her head. "Nope. We can wait years if you want. At most, depending on how long, we'd just have to redo the neural map." She leaned back against the desk, eyes flicking over to Steve who had his stoic face on.

"What's up, Buck?"

"What if this doesn't work?" About as close as I could come to articulating everything going on in my head right at that moment. Excitement that I might, actually might, finally be free from Hydra, balanced by the flood of repressed and blocked memories that I would soon have in my mind. I would remember _everything_ , according to Laurin. Every death, every laugh, every moment of my life with a precision that frightened me. So yeah, I did kind of need a break. To take a moment to absorb the ramifications of having that wall between myself and the Winter Soldier taken down, for the rush of memories, of past actions and nefarious deeds to become a permanent part of me. To prepare for the hate and self-loathing to increase by an order of magnitude. To remember more than just bits and pieces of the life I'd had before the War and being captured by Hydra.

"Then I go back to the drawing board," Rinn told me. "If, and I stress if, this doesn't work as expected I'll reset you to the map I just took, no harm no foul."

"And the risks if we stop here and now?" Steve didn't look happy, but would probably back my decision no matter which way I chose.

"None, really, other than anyone with the code words can now activate and use the Winter Soldier."

"Oh, is that all," I groused. "Can you turn the block programming back on?"

She shook her head. "No, the back door switch is only useful to turn it off. We'd have to start over with the hypnotherapy to set up the block again. Though Wanda might be able to initialize it on her own." She paused thinking seriously for a moment. "I'll have to talk to her about that."

"You think Wanda can target her mind control?" Steve shifted, arms folded across his chest.

"Won't know till we… she tries. Could be useful on your infiltration missions." She shrugged. "Back to the subject at hand. Do you need a break?"

"No. Let's get this done. I'll face the consequences later."

She clapped her hands and then rubbed them together, reminding me of a cartoon evil scientist, appearing far too excited about this for my comfort.

"We sure she's on our side?" I asked of Steve as she opened the case and began removing the gear we'd be using to fix me.

"Nope. We can only hope she is," he came back with, getting a chuckle and a grin from her.

"I've had the power to control the Winter Soldier for weeks and all I've done was make him go to a bar with me. I'd say I'm not one of the bad guys." She carried over the modified neural net and fancy glasses. I'd used the regular augmented reality glasses just to get an idea of what would be going on, but hadn't played with these other than to look at them. "All right, let's get you set up."

First was the neural net, a heavier model, designed to dig deeper into my brain and permit her to make actual changes. Then the glasses, which I heard her snap to the net I wore. She made a few adjustments then stepped back to the table and picked up the tablet. The glasses came to life and I could feel a low level bozz from the net that didn't hurt, just made this odd tingle across my scalp, the underlying vibration working it's way deeper into my skull.

She stood in front of me, setting fingers against one cheek. "You good?"

"Good," I agreed. "Should I feel it?"

"Mild buzz?"

I nodded.

"Normal. Should fade once I finish the calibration." She tapped the tablet for several minutes and the buzz did indeed fade, though it didn't go away completely.

"Rinn?"

"We're on track, all readings within acceptable parameters," she told Steve without even looking up from the tablet. The she went back to the table and pulled out the modified Magic Eight Ball setting it on the floor between me and her.

Steve shifted about to stand next to her, looking at the screen in her hands. "How will you know what to target?"

"I'm overlaying his other neural scans under the most recent. The convergence for the Winter Soldier programming will have a definitive overlap, that's where I'll target." She gave me a wan smile then turned on the sphere, though it currently projected nothing. "Will try a few different memories first, make certain the calibration is working properly. You'll pick one, I'll pick the other."

"You will be able to see what I'm remembering?" She'd told me this several times, but I still felt reluctant to share what might be seriously dark and brutal memories with them.

"Well, yes. I'll need to see what they did in order to properly target the memory. We don't have to do the full surround sound thing though. Everything can be projected through the glasses and desktop only if you'd prefer."

I didn't like the idea of them practically experiencing my memories, far too many of them unpleasant and painful. Since becoming a toy for Hydra I could think of nothing that would qualify as good or happy until Steve had come back into my life. And while not quite happy, life had gotten better once I'd been permitted to actually live it.

"You won't be alone, you will be able to see us, interact with us, but we will only see and hear what happened."

Steve shifted to stand beside her. "How about starting with something easy and then deciding?"

Not a bad idea. "Like what?"

"How about that faire, the night before you shipped out? Do you remember that?"

I nodded. Not as clear as I would like, and there were definite gaps in the day, but enough. Thinking about the memory had been enough to trigger it and the device, and suddenly I was walking with my arm thrown around the shoulder of a brunette, her friend beside us and Steve… Steve, half his current size trailing along behind. Yet another attempt to set him up gone awry simply because the dame couldn't see beyond the ninety-eight pound weakling exterior to the amazing man with heart of a fighter beneath. "Paramus," I muttered and the scene quickly shifted to the alleyway where I'd chased off another mook who had been using Steve as a punching bag. Steve who would keep getting back up until he couldn't anymore. I never did find out why he'd gotten into a fight that time, but it was generally caused by his sense of honor taking offense and using the only outlet it seemed capable of.

"Dear god, you were so little," Rinn stated, watching through my eyes the young kid who had grown into the giant of a man beside her.

Steve ducked his head, cheeks pinking. "I am well aware. Go back to the faire. What else do you remember?"

The memory shifted again, back to the faire and watching a too young to be believed Howard Stark demonstrating his flying car.

Rinn walked slowly about the room, taking in everything my mind had picked up. A lot of the people were blurred, faces gone, their bodies only a suggestion, but the girls, Stark and Steve remained as clear and sharp as if I'd seen them mere moments before instead of some ninety years ago.

"This is quite impressive, but why the degradation in the memory?" Steve asked, pacing through the crowd of blank faces.

"They weren't important to the narrative, the ones that are crisp and clear are. The rest is filler. Plus the memory is old, I would be shocked if he remembered all the faces of the dozens of strangers he'd seen that night." She tapped on the tablet the memory vanishing. "My turn."

In an instant we were elsewhere and a feeling of deep dread came over me. This was not a Bucky memory, this was one from the Winter Soldier. It was dark and cold and I could feel the weapon in my hands, as I shifted to look through the optics.

I waited with perfect patience for the vehicle my target was in to come down the road, flanked by others, the window would be small, the gap between the tall buildings combined with their speed lasting only a few seconds, but that would be more than enough.

The team assigned to me making certain I would be aware of exactly where the target was at all times. Then the car appeared, the windows tinted, but that wouldn't matter. The first shot took out the engine, stopping the car dead and the security team went into the standard protocol surrounding the vehicle and using their bodies to shield the man as they attempted to transfer him to another still functional car. I fired the second shot, his head exploding into a mess of blood and brain and bone, splattering it across the ground and those nearest to him.

I tapped the headset and spoke in Russian. "Target down."

" _Well done, Soldier. Return to base_."

I did as ordered.

"Was that who I thought it was?" Rinn glanced over at Steve, as she turned the memory off.

"Yes," I informed her. Not one of the memories I had recalled on my own, but now that it had been brought to the surface one I would never forget.

"That's not in the files," Steve said, glancing at me with one eyebrow raised.

"I suspect I did more than a few off book jobs. The right blackmail or money and I bet my services could be bought." I shrugged, knowing that once this was over there would be a lot of gaps in my history and the history of Hydra filled in. "Why did you pick that one?"

"I don't see the memory on this side, just the location, I'd guess you'd say. Did I think it was a Soldier memory? Yes. Needed to make certain I could actually access them before we made the leap to the programming."

"Then how will you know where the programming is?" I asked, that feeling of dread crawling back into my belly and settling in for a long winter's nap.

Steve, still looking over her shoulder. "Oh, it's obvious. You using the Winter Soldier maps you took as well?"

She nodded. "The area is consistent throughout all the maps. It has to be the location of the programming, even if he doesn't remember it."

"More like doesn't want to. How did it survive the mind wipes?"

"Mind wipe must have been surface memories only. Least after the programming had been implanted. Gave them a blank slate to work with, they just needed to reinforce it before initiating the programming." She met my eyes. "Did they mind wipe the other Winter Soldiers?"

I shook my head. "They were already Hydra, I guess they figured that they'd be just as easy to command once they'd had the upgrade."

"Well, they were wrong about that," Steve muttered. "I wonder how accurate that version of the serum was?"

Rinn shot him a concerned look. "Hopefully we'll never find out." But she let it drop there and focused back on the job at hand. "Now, James, are you ready to do this?"

I looked up into those green eyes of hers, saw the assurance, the belief that this would work and at the end of the day I would be free of Hydra if not from the memories of what I had done for them. Not all that long ago I hadn't trusted her as she flipped that switch in my head and turned me into a monster that could and would kill at a command.

I answered as simply as possible. "Yes."

She gave me a grim smile, tapped the tablet and the world exploded into the visual equivalent of pain.

 

~^~

 

I opened my eyes to see… Rinn standing in front of me. Before I could even sit up she began, "Zhelaniye. Prozhaveshiy. Pech'." She rattled through the words quickly and while I tensed up, terrified of having my mind taken over yet again, waiting for the inevitable to crash upon me and wipe me away, I felt nothing.

Instead she got to the end and I was still me.

"Dobroye utro soldat."

"Gotovy soblyvdat'," I replied in that perfect dead monotone.

Steve sucked in a shocked breath, while Rinn rolled her eyes.

"You give the old man a heart attack you get to give him mouth to mouth."

"A horrible fate, I'm sure. Presuming he still hasn't learned to kiss in the last few years."

Steve let out the horrified breath he'd been holding. "You are a shit, you know that?"

Rinn cleared her throat. She had in her hands one of my journals, several others sat on the table next to her. "September 25th 1975."

"I have no…" The gears in my mind spun and the memory came back easily and clearly. "Assassination of the head of a cartel in Columbia. Single shot to the head from the next ridge over. Hole in his security."

Then came Steve's turn. "Maryanne Grimble."

I grinned. "I tried to set you up with her. Didn't go quite as planned. Some jerk called her a dyke and you decided to defend her honor. Damn near got your jaw broke that time and you got a pair of black eyes for the trouble."

"And I still didn't get the girl," Steve muttered, but his eyes had lit up, proud I'd remembered that tiny piece of our history.

"October 17th 1965."

We went back and forth like that. Steve handling memories from before the war, while Rinn prompted those from the Winter Soldier through a combination of my journal entries and decrypted Hydra files. The results seamless. The memories coming easily and without effort, though not without regret. I remembered shooting Natasha to get to the scientist she'd been assigned to protect, thus explaining her comment of me remembering her when we'd fought in Berlin. We'd encountered each other a few times over the years, neither of us actually winning the battles, the war continuing even if in between my memory had been wiped.

"January 6th 1945."

I shuddered, though not sure why.

"Jeez, Rinn. You could pull your punches once in awhile," Steve complained, eyes wide.

She didn't turn away from me to ease his concerns. "January 6th, 1945," she repeated.

"Uh… it's a blank." I closed my eyes, head tipping slightly as I tried to drag that memory to the surface. I had this odd sensation of falling deep in my gut, but nothing else. Just a blank screen and white noise. I opened my eyes. "Why is that date important?"

"It's the day you died, Buck," Steve answered somberly.

I shook my head. "Smithsonian said I died in '44." That I could remember. Though there had been very little specifics on the matter and any other research I had done had turned up the same. Lots of details about my life, but little about my _death_.

"Fudged," Rinn supplied. "For reasons they found worthy, I imagine." She thumbed through the pages of the journal she currently held. "You appear to be functioning within normal parameters."

I sat up. "Well that's comforting phrasing."

She grinned. "Go get something to eat, you've been out a few hours."

"It can't be that simple."

"You'd prefer complicated?" she snarked. "And it wasn't simple. It was fucking risky and dangerous and we have no idea the long term effects and-"

I raised my hands in surrender, cutting the rant off cold. "I get it, you're worried even though it seems to have worked." She had a good point though. While I seemed fine right now, my brain could eat itself in a couple of days, which might not be a bad thing. I had years of memories to pour over an atone for now that I could accurately put them in the proper place and time. I stood and went to her, setting a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you. I don't deserve this and will never be able to repay you for what you've done."

"James..." She shook her head then looked over at Steve. "Get him out of here before he gets all sappy. I have some work to do."

"We'll debrief later, yes?"

I snorted. "Thought you didn't see her that way."

He sighed. "With her, I'm the invisible one." He set a hand on my shoulder. "Come on, this deserves a drink."

I let him guide me out of the room, but I glanced back at Rinn, who looked down at the journal in her hands, the grin fading to a look of sadness. With a snap she shut the book and set it on the table, trading it for the tablet.


	26. Chapter 26

_Steve's POV_

The young man ducked under the first punch and managed to land a hit to the ribs before twisting and slipping back out of reach. Rinn didn't give him a chance to settle and went after him, scoring with a vicious spin kick that impacted his shoulder, knocking him off balance and at the perfect angle for her to put him to the ground. She bounced into the air, arm already raised, her target the side of his head and even I could see she had forgotten this to be nothing more than practice, that she saw him as the enemy and chosen to go at him full bore and at full power and, while damn good, he was still mortal.

Then Bucky intervened, his arm flashing in between her and the trainee, her fist impacting his arm with a solid twang of padded glove to metal arm. "Hold," Bucky barked and every single pair stopped instantly and backed away from their partner. He plastered a bland look on his face and turned to Rinn. "What the hell? Have you forgotten this is a training exercise? You are here to learn as much as teach, you do not let your emotions get the better of you."

She stood straight and tall even while still breathing moderately heavy, which was odd in and of itself as the workout had not been that challenging. Especially not for her. Buck had turned out to be exceptionally good at training hand to hand. His eclectic mix of styles turning out to be even more varied than mine or Rinn's and it had proven to be beneficial to the Wakandan trainees as they got to encounter moves and disciplines quite different from those they'd learned within their particular warrior tribe. So far T'Challa had been quite pleased with the results. The skills learned here brought back and shared with even more in Wakanda.

Rinn had asked to be included when her schedule permitted. She worked out daily, but more often by herself or with one of us late at night or early in the morning when she couldn't sleep or just needed to mentally process data. I'd watched, and listened, to her laying out programming parameters while doing Krav Maga using a verbal shorthand and a recording device she clipped to her ear.

What had just occurred, however, hadn't involved work, her clear need for violence probably due to some simmering emotional turmoil that had finally boiled over, the young man she'd been sparring ending up being the unintended target of her internalized ire.

"Soldat-"

He shot her a look that could have melted steel. On the training field, nicknames had been banned. Call signs were permitted simply to get them used to using them, otherwise proper names were used at all times.

"Sgt. Barnes, I did not-"

"Stop." He held up his gloved hand. He didn't just train, he participated and had walked away from his sparring partner to deal with Rinn's lapse in control. "You did. I have seen you use that move before and know how hard you land that punch. You would have hurt him."

The young man's eyes widened and his chest puffed out. "I can handle her."

Bucky shook his head. "She has put me down with that move and I can promise you that I have an exceedingly hard head. You would have been unconscious at the very least, a concussion at worst." He turned back to Rinn. "And you know it. He is not ready for any of us at full power, much less you when angry."

"I'm not angry at him," she insisted, that stubborn stance easily visible from where I stood above them all.

"I know," Bucky agreed far too amicably. "But you are angry. Until you get it under control you will not spar with the trainees."

A pissed Rinn is a scary Rinn and for a moment I saw the anger bubble up, her entire stance tensing in preparation to argue, but when Bucky did nothing more than point off the field his eyes cold and ignoring her defiance she finally stepped back and bowed to her partner. "My apologies for my behavior."

He gave her a nod in return then she straightened and walked away.

Bucky glanced up at me a clear indication that I should perhaps intervene before Rinn broke a few heavy bags. Then he tapped the comms behind his ear. "Sam, can you take over for a few? Re-partner and run 'em through set three."

" _I gotcha covered_ ," Sam responded then swooped in a few seconds later, taking over the class smoothly.

Buck followed after Rinn who had vanished into the trees surrounding the field we used for outdoor training. Fall had taken full hold, the trees a variety of vibrant colors, the nights decidedly chilly, but the days still warm enough to not need heavy jackets. Snow would be falling soon enough according to the local weather forecasters. And the holdiay season would follow soon after. Decorations had already begun to spring up about the castle and town.

According to the employees Rinn was usually neck deep in the fun, but this year had distanced herself, allowing them to decide how far they wanted to take the decorating. The company basically shut down for the month of December to allow the employees to spend time with their families. Most would keep working, but regular hours would not be required and Rinn had offered foot the cost of anyone wanting to fly back to the states or to have family brought in and that… that could explain her current cranky mood. While her employees would be able to see mom and dad and any siblings, she would not. Her family still not talking to her.

"Fuck, Rinn, you could have killed him."

I turned to see Bucky herding Rinn in my direction. She'd tossed a sweatshirt on over the workout clothes, her body cooling off quickly now that she no longer participated in the sweating and fighting. She drank from the water bottle in her hand, an exasperated look on her face. She knew she'd screwed up, but had grown tired of Bucky harping on it. If he kept pushing, she would pop her top. And that might just be his goal. Better she blow off her frustration with us, than the ords, who, while fast and strong, were still not enhanced or wearing armour of any kind. Rinn could leave bruises on me when motivated, fair chance a just right hit would indeed kill one of the Wakandans.

"I was going to pull that punch, damn it," she growled, glaring at him. "I know what the fuck I'm doing, Barnes."

"Rinn, what's wrong?" I asked, getting that electric glare aimed at me instead.

"Tag teaming me is not fair," she groused, leaning back against the parapet. These still fairly high, since the view was of lawn and trees instead of lake. An excellent location to observe the training without imposing on it. Let me see the progress and make suggestions. This group only two weeks in, they would not even see me on the training field until six had been completed. My first demo to the trainees always involved weightlifting. Once they realized exactly how much I could lift, the awe tended to fade and the wariness settled in instead.

You could not out punch me. You could not out lift me. You could not outmaneuver me. You could however wear me down or surprise me. Those who had been successful in putting me on the floor had done the latter so far. Usually some on the fly move I could not predict catching me just right and then the great, and these days infamous, Captain America would fall.

Had my clock rung a couple times so far. Most were happy to last more than a few minutes, others had managed a draw, but none had put me down for longer than a few seconds.

Rinn and me sparring always impressed them. Rinn sparring Bucky frightened them. Getting to see the Winter Soldier in action impressive all on it's own, but watching Rinn fight him to a draw and realizing that ordinary looking Rinn could potentially be just as powerful as the Fist of Hydra? Add in the fact that they'd been sparring with her all along, and it drove the point home that _anyone_ could be enhanced, even well known computer nerds.

We hadn't done that demo yet with this group, so the fact that Bucky had caught her going at her partner full power worried me.

"What's up?"

"Nothing," she grumbled.

"Problem with Garden II?" They'd begun a full run of the game just a few weeks ago in anticipation of the holiday season and as far as I knew everything was right on track.

"It's fine, as you well know given the substantial check you just received for the prelim poster sales. Even with only the teaser for E3, just knowing that _the_ Steve Rogers had done the artwork bumped the sales up by twenty-five percent and that was without a price increase."

That check had been more than substantial, it had been huge and had only been the first I could expect. How much of the sales due to the hubbub over the new game versus my name being on the artwork would probably be argued about for months to come. I didn't much care. I'd had fun working on the project and had already begun planning for the next one in the series. The paintings, the rough ones, not the final copies, had been sold at auction for a pretty penny that I had rolled into Nomad. Endeavoring to get the company on it's own feet ahead of schedule.

"Then what's wrong, Zhelaniye?" Bucky settled back against the parapet next to her, arms folded across his chest a look of concern on his face. In front of the trainees he had to stay cool and remain neutral, but here, in what could be considered private, that facade dropped away and proof that he cared about her swiftly appeared.

Their relationship had changed dramatically since she'd removed the Winter Soldier programming. That desperate need for her had been replaced with a friendship that rivaled the one I had with her, even deeper perhaps given they had history of a more intimate nature. The pet names had developed over the course of a few weeks, each a reminder of what used to be though neither of them seemed upset about the shift. The two of them eerily in sync with each other most of the time even if they could not explain why. I felt reasonably certain they had not slept together since, but also didn't think it was any of my business. Bucky seemed content and that's all that mattered to me.

"Why does something have to be wrong?" she complained, not able to meet either of our eyes.

"Because you keep insisting there isn't." I reached out to tap her on the nose, getting a frown instead of the grin I had been going for.

She huffed out a breath in irritation, wrinkling her nose at me. "It's personal."

Bucky rolled his eyes at her. "No shit. My concern is that it's affecting your work. I can't have you flattening the recruits a couple weeks in, looks bad later when you try to beat me up."

"You mean when I successfully beat you up," she countered, the smile faint and obviously forced. Oh yeah, something was most certainly bugging our girl.

"Not the point. You've been distracted and grouchy for a week now. You say it's personal, is there a guy we need to straighten out for you or something?"

I hadn't even considered the possibility that she might have been dating anyone given how much time she spent here. Especially considering anytime she left the premises she went with a bodyguard these days. We'd never found the shooter, plugged the hole in the security and moved on. Aside from her visits with Tony, which had taken place on three different continents so far, she hadn't left the castle for more than a few hours since that day as far as I knew.

She choked on her water. "Uh, no. Captain Hotpants here is the only one dating at the moment that I'm aware of."

I felt heat rise to my cheeks. I'd foolishly tried fitting in a bit better with a horrendous style mistake known as skinny jeans. Rinn had been impressed, but my build had not been compatible at all. She'd taken pictures for later blackmail use and told me to put on a pair of real jeans before permitting me to leave. By the time I'd arrived to pick up Sharon the pictures had been shared and Captain Hotpants had been an instant hit, much to my dismay.

"Then what? Can't decide between turkey and goose this year?"

Her face went blank, pain easily visible in her eyes.

At a guess she didn't need another reminder that she wouldn't be with her blood relations this holiday season. "Rinn, I'm sure your family misses you-"

She shook her head. "My family hasn't spoken to me in months… till two weeks ago."

We both waited impatiently for her to get to the punch line. "Laurin…"

"My brother contacted me, insisting I come to the damn wedding."

Bucky choked on a laugh. "Wait? That's it? You don't want to go to the wedding? Tell him no then."

Rinn shook her head. "You don't understand. I was originally supposed to be a bridesmaid. Hell, Marisa was still emailing dress and party info a couple months ago… Like no one had told her I'd been disowned." She rubbed the side of her face, turning the skin pink for an instant at the rough contact. "I had to politely explain I would be unable to attend. She was disappointed, but understood how busy my job kept me."

"Your family has been lying to her?" I asked, confused. That didn't sound like them at all. Not that I knew any of them personally, but I got the impression that Rinn was very much a reflection of them. "If their decision was forced on them I could, maybe, see them keeping it as private as possible."

Rinn nodded in agreement. "Which is why I found it very strange that my brother is being so insistent that I now show up."

"Do you want to go?" Bucky questioned, perhaps the most important question.

"Well, yes."

"Then go," he told her with a shrug as if the answer were obvious.

"Right, 'cause showing up with my own security team will look so wonderful in the family photos," she groused, making it clear she'd actually thought about going and how to make it work.

"Don't need a full team, just one person."

"Who?" she asked in total aggravation.

Bucky waved at me. "Take him as your plus one. I doubt anyone would try anything with Captain America standing next to you."

I chuckled darkly, appreciating the irony. "Oh, that would be like rubbing salt in the wound. You do realize I'm the reason they disowned her, right?"

He grinned and nodded. "Yup. You show up with her and it'll shut their mouths right up."

Rinn, amazingly, didn't hate the idea. "That's evil," she told Bucky, "and I love it. Besides Marisa is a huge Captain America fangirl. Has all kinds of collectables. You'd think she was related to Coulson." She gave me a nudge. "And I would love you to meet my Gramps."

"Your Gramps?"

"Great grandfather, actually. World War II vet who would be quite honored to shake your hand. He's the one family member I've kept in contact with all this time. He might be old, but he's still smart as a whip and intimidating as all hell."

"And dotes on his granddaughter I'm sure," Bucky tossed in a smile crinkling the corners of his eyes.

"But of course," she agreed. "Oh, I'm liking this idea more and more." She bounced up and down in glee for a moment then her face fell. "Damn it."

"What?" I wondered what horrible plot twist she'd just come up with.

"I'll need a dress."

I laughed. "You have that stylist for a reason. Abuse him. I'll need a suit anyway."

"So you're good with this?"

I nodded. "I'll need details. I don't want to go into this blind, but yes, I'll be your date to your brother's wedding."

She sighed heavily. "I'll let him know."

Bucky poked her in the arm. "Go shower and change."

"But I wanted to spar some more," she whined.

He shook his head. "Can't give you special treatment. They need to learn that if they screw up there will be consequences. Tag you get to be the example today."

She grumbled, but didn't argue. "Fine. I need to go work on some programming anyway. Dinner later? I'll bring the info on the venue and such."

I nodded. "We'll see you then."

She left us standing there, shouts and grunts filtering up from below as Sam ran the trainees through a defensive routine. "You sure this is a good idea?" I looked over at Buck.

"She needs to see them even if they refuse to speak to her. I'm guessing she usually spends a fair part of the holidays with them?"

I nodded. "I've heard some of the stories and the traditions they have. This'll be the first year she won't be there at all. When she was sick her participation was severely restricted."

"But she was there." Bucky placed his hands on the wall and leaned forward to look down at the field below. "Remember that first Christmas after your mom got sick?"

Vividly. "Mom tried to make it so special, but she always ended up hiding in her room crying." I gave him a wan smile. "She tried so hard to give me hope even though we both knew the odds." Within months she'd found herself in the same ward she had worked in; friends and coworkers now caring for her.

Times had been tough and her being sick had only made it more difficult. She had reminisced a lot, told me how proud I had made her. How proud my father would have been. How much I reminded her of him. To be proud of him and to honor his memory, or at least the memories she had shared with me.

He'd died protecting this country, died believing the war he'd fought in to be just and right. So when my turn had come there hadn't been a chance in hell I wouldn't follow in his footsteps.

And they had wanted no part of me.

"You came over to my house that afternoon, so your mom could be alone. We gave you a couple plates of food to take back with you. Just in case." Bucky's voice had gone soft, the memory stealing it away from him. It had been a hard time for both our families, but he had stuck by me through thick and thin and even though they could barely afford it, made certain I, at the very least, never went without, sharing every scrap of food they could for the tiny waif Steve Rogers.

Mom picked up every extra hour she could, once sick she'd had no reason to stop, but there'd still been almost nothing under the pitiful tree we'd put up and decorated. I'd picked up every extra job I could while still going to school; she wouldn't permit me to drop out, wanted to make certain I had a chance at a better life. We'd used old newspapers to make snowflakes to hang about the dried and desiccated boughs. The Barnes family hadn't had much more, but they'd welcomed me into their home without question or complaint. "Why you bringing this up?"

"Because it's going to be hard on Rinn. She's mourning the loss in some ways and it probably hurts more since she knows they are still alive and have chosen to cut her out of their lives. I want her to know we're here for her like I was for you."

"So best Christmas possible while permitting her to be upset?"

"And make it clear to her family why she chose you over them."

"And why is that?" I questioned, still not certain, even after all these months that she should have picked me over them no matter that it was to protest the Accords more than anything. It still looked to the rest of the world like she had chosen her friend over her job and her family. Though in the end it had only made certain parts of her company more profitable given she was no longer tied down to an exclusive contract.

"Because you are a good man, Steve Rogers, and no one can possibly hate you once they meet you face to face."

I felt an ache in the vicinity of my heart, Buck's words echoing those of Dr. Erskine the night before I'd gone through the process that made me the man I was today. "I'm not so sure about that anymore."

"Steve-"

I shook my head. "Don't you have a class to run?"

"Avoiding your problems will just make you cranky," he pointed out with a wag of a finger. "Worse than Rinn."

"So says the expert at hiding in dark corners to avoid facing his past."

His left hand went to his heart. "Ouch. I'm wounded." Then he grinned and walked away. He waved vaguely in the air. "Go plan your attack with Rinn."

I waited until Bucky reappeared on the field below then went to find Rinn.

 

~^~^~^~

 

"Jeez, now I feel frumpy all over again."

I glanced over at Rinn who had come into my room so quietly I hadn't heard a single footstep, though that may have been partially due to the depth of the rug on the floor. She hadn't spared any expense on the suite we shared. Then again she had been limited on the availability given how late she'd had to book the room. There'd been only three weeks between saying yes and actually getting prepared for the wedding.

My jaw damn near dropped to the floor. "Wow." Processing words, much less speaking them aloud had failed me completely. She looked stunning. Bucky had suggested red and when she'd mentioned it to her stylist the man had instantly agreed and he'd come through. He'd contrasted the vibrant red with deep blue shoes and a matching handbag that should have clashed, but instead worked. Clearly playing on the Captain America and Winter Soldier colors. I rotated my finger and she obliged me by spinning about, the skirt flaring out just enough to reveal shapely calves above those heels. Her hair had been pulled back into a fancy braid, the actual braid visible down the back of her head, the deeper gold of the underside mixing in with the near-white blonde on top, the contrast shocking and striking at the same time.

"That bad, huh? I'll see if there is another that works better."

She had made it to the door of her room before my brain caught up with reality and I surged forward, a hand on her arm to stop her. "No. You look amazing."

"I look like a Barbie doll playing dress up."

I chuckled. Her legs weren't nearly long enough for her to qualify as a Barbie even if she did have the height and the body type. I got her to turn about and seriously looked her over. Yes, she could be considered a touch too muscular, all that work she'd done with her upper body visible, and not carrying that layer of fat that softened the appearance of most women, but that was Rinn.

She looked as I had told her: amazing.

"You are going to outshine the bride," I assured her.

"Oh god, don't say that. I will not ruin Marisa's day." She looked genuinely upset, and I knew her she'd change into a garbage bag if she thought it would keep her from ruffling feathers here today.

Her brother had been gushingly thankful she'd decided to come, but then reverted back into the asshole he'd been prior. I'd seen the emails and his passive-aggressive attempts to get her to conform. We had all told her to ignore his rants and to take the higher ground.

She'd been emotionally whipped by her brother and at this point I kind of wanted to slam him into a wall for being such a horrible person. It had gotten so bad that Rinn would simply forward the emails to me without ever opening them. Relying on me to filter through the bullshit and give her the important bits.

We had not participated in the rehearsal dinner as ordered. Her argument that she would not be part of the wedding party or overly welcome by the majority of the family. We did not arrive two days prior as requested even though she had booked the room for that time. We had gotten in late last night, a driver picking us up at the local airport, though we'd not come in via a commercial flight. I would not have made it through customs without a lot of questions being asked and guns being pointed at us, so we just avoided the whole mess.

The advantage of having our own transport.

Why they had chosen a December wedding in Lake Tahoe mystified me. It was bloody cold out and there and a substantial amount of snow already lay on the ground. Luckily we would not have to leave the building for any of the events we were attending. The wedding ceremony taking place in one room and the following reception in the expansive ballroom. No one would need to drive anywhere until they'd sobered up sometime tomorrow.

"Laurin, you will not change. You will help me with this damn tie." I realized I had been coordinated to be the opposite of her. The suit, complete with vest, the same blue as her shoes and handbag, with a red kerchief in the pocket and red tie that matched the color of her dress perfectly.

Her stylist knew his stuff.

She glanced at the neckwear in question, not a bow thankfully, but an expensive silk piece that, yes, I could tie perfectly well on my own, but she needed the distraction. I leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, noting the heels added more than enough height for me to have to tip my head up to accomplish the task. I got a soft sigh as my reward.

"Half or full windsor?" she asked.

"Oh, let's go all out."

"Full windsor it is." Her fingers moved deftly and in mere moments she slid the knot up to my throat and smoothed the rest down. The ends perfectly aligned. She buttoned up the jacket, making a few minute adjustments to how it hung on me. "There. You do realize how much attention you are going to attract even if they don't recognize you?"

I nodded. When I wasn't hiding beneath a hoodie or baseball cap/sunglass combo I turned heads. Sweating my way through a run in DC I used to collect those who would wait for me to dash by all smiles, shy looks and blatant leering following in my wake. It only got worse when they realized who I actually was. It was why I tended to run early in the morning. Fewer gawkers following me about. "Look at it this way, it'll distract them from your surprise appearance."

"Ah, I see you've caught onto my evil plan."

I snorted. "If this is what you consider evil, you have a long way to go before they'll let you into the club."

"Feh, I founded the club, my secret identity as a nerd has worked amazingly well for years now."

Scary this was, it could be true. Given all the pies she had her fingers in, she could easily become an evil mastermind and take down several big players with ease, including me and Nomad. We'd already chosen to ignore the law, the Accords, how big of step would be take to prove why they were meaningless and simply take over?

I wouldn't. It would go against everything I stood for, everything I had fought for, but…

But it would be so easy to do with the right tools.

Rinn could easily be one of those tools.

"Good thing you are on my side, then, isn't it."

"Now that's a bold assumption," she countered, a sly grin on her lips and laughter in her eyes.

"Hush," I grumbled, "we'll plot world domination another day. We have a wedding to attend."

"But plotting world domination is far more interesting."

"It usually is," I agreed then hooked my arm through hers and escorted her out of the room.


	27. Chapter 27

The ceremony itself had been nothing to write home about. The winter color theme, all blues and whites and silvers, almost too much. The bride stunningly beautiful and the handsome groom clearly related to the woman I sat next to, right down to the blond hair, though of a much darker hue than Rinn's.

The right words were said at the right times, no words said, also at the right times. We'd sat at the back, one of the last to enter and sit down, not wanting to attract any more attention than necessary at this point. Rinn sat quietly through it all, arm pressed against mine, though in need of comfort or just cold I couldn't be sure. Once the ceremony had begun I wasn't about to ask her.

By some miracle no one had forgotten to turn off their phones, no one coughed unexpectedly, no young children cried or complained. The rings hadn't gone missing and the bridesmaid's dresses weren't the most godawful ugly things on the planet.

Even I knew that was far from normal. Well, what most people considered normal.

As soon as the newly married couple had walked back down the aisle, off to have pictures taken prior to the reception according to the schedule, Rinn and I stood and made our slow way to the reception hall, finding seats with our backs to the wall and watching family and friends chatter excitedly about how lovely everything had been.

A server came by and we ordered drinks while waiting for the reception line to begin.

The bride and groom came in amidst cheers and confetti being thrown everywhere, making me feel bad for the staff that would have to clean up the mess later. We killed another twenty minutes, the line beginning to peter out when Rinn stood and held out a hand to me.

"You ready for this?"

"Always. Once more into the fray." I twined my fingers with her, knowing this would not be anywhere near as easy for her as she tried to pretend. She hadn't seen her parents in over six months because of the decisions she'd made, I had no doubts this would be difficult for all parties concerned, which again made me question why her brother had insisted she be here knowing their remaining parent would not be happy with either of them for it.

We began at the end, shaking hands and introducing ourselves like everyone else. Rinn knew most of them, friends, friends of friends, etc. Marisa's parents seemed thrilled to see Rinn and shook my hand with no clue who I was. Rinn's mother

however…

Rinn didn't get a word in before her mother, who looked nothing like her daughter, meaning Rinn clearly got her looks from her father, snapped in a hushed voice, "Why are you here?"

Rinn plastered that patently fake work smile on her face and replied, "Ask your son, the groom, he insisted I come."

Mrs. Cyrelle glanced at the child in question, making it clear she had no idea Lucas had invited her. And that… that seemed worrisome.

"Mom, I want you to meet my friend Steve Ro-"

"I know who he is," Mom snarled, getting sharp looks thrown her way from others nearby. "I would suggest you leave."

"Well then it's a good thing we're here to help the bride and groom celebrate and not for you," I responded getting a gasp of shock from Mrs. Cyrelle. With a nudge I encouraged Rinn to move on, ignoring the pain I could see in her eyes for the time being. We had both known going into this that is would be difficult at best and her mother had not disappointed.

She clearly wanted no part of Rinn and even less of me.

Well, she would just going to have to deal with it because I would not let Rinn back down or run away no matter how much she might feel the need to. Her brother wanted her here even if no one else did, and she'd manned up and swallowed down her pride to make his day the happiest it could be.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen the next hurdle to tackle, which went smoothly, a few recognizing me, but doing little more than looking up at me with stars in their eyes, though a few seemed envious Rinn had scored me as her plus one.

When we stopped in front of the bride, she gave Rinn an enthusiastic hug. "Laurin, I'm so glad you could make it. Lucas waited until the last possible moment to tell me you'd had a cancellation in your schedule and would be here."

"Sorry, work has been crazy busy with the new game release and all." Rinn didn't lie per se, and had been busy with the game release, but not _that_ busy though she'd most assuredly been working. She rarely took an actual day off, always having one project or another she could be working on at any given moment. I felt she needed more staff, but understood why, at this point anyway, why she didn't start combing through resumes.

Who could she trust?

"Oh, I fully understand," Marisa agreed. "Trying to organize this circus and work at the law firm? Insane. But it came together beautifully." She took both of Rinn's hands, encouraging her to spread her arms and taking a good look at the dress. "You look gorgeous, where did you find this dress?"

"My stylist is a miracle worker," Rinn informed her. "He can take a wild ass and turn it into a prize arabian."

Marisa snorted, eyes twinkling in merriment. "Wild I can't argue with, especially next to Lucas, but you had a lot of fun to make up for." The man in question coughed into his hand, but didn't argue the point.

Rinn took the hint and got things moving forward again as there were a few people behind us in the line. "Can't argue with that. I want you to meet my friend Steve."

Marisa turned to me, her eyes going wide and mouth falling open as she stared at me. I guess Rinn hadn't been kidding when she said the woman was a huge fan. I thought for a second she was going to drop to her knees at my feet. "Oh. My. God. You brought Steve Rogers as your date?"

Rinn laughed. "As my friend. Thought you might like to see what you are missing out on by marrying this one here."

Marisa shook her head. "I knew you were friends with… with superheroes, but to meet one…" She trailed off realizing she was babbling. "I am so sorry." She took my hand, wrapping both of hers about mine. She kept talking, the words only half heard by me as I watched Lucas, who had gone startlingly pale the instant he fully absorbed who stood next to his sister.

Something was going on here, but damn me if I could tell with any certainty what it might be.

He gave his sister a cursory hug, watching me the entire time, almost as if my presence had completely ruined whatever he'd planned for today. Well, if he'd been hoping for a reconciliation between Rinn and her mother that would not be happening and not just because of my presence. In the few moments I seen her I understood where Rinn got her stubbornness from. She would not be backing down and neither would Rinn. One of those impasses that could possibly never be breached.

And that was a sad thing indeed. Family was damn important to me even at this point, when I realized I would not likely have one of my own. Would never have what Clint and Laura had. So I settled for a family made up of people I had chosen to spend my life with. I had a home, people I cared about, would give my life for, what else could I possibly need?

When the bride ran down I gave her a kiss on the cheek and turned my attention to Rinn's brother. He gave me the weakest handshake I had ever experienced, I could do better when I had been a ninety-eight pound weakling and dying of pneumonia. He looked at me in abject terror.

"Mr. Rogers, pleased to meet you." He managed to find his backbone so that his voice didn't squeak, but it was a near thing. "Good to know my sister still has some friends." He gave me a strained smile, perhaps not as thrilled about the breach in his familial walls as his parents.

"Rinn has plenty of friends, many of whom would have been more than happy to accompany her today. I volunteered."

Lucas managed to lose what little color he'd gained and swallowed with obvious difficulty. "I didn't mean to imply that she didn't," he stuttered out, earning sharp look from Rinn. "I'm glad both of you are here."

Rinn wrapped her arms about her brother. "Don't be an idiot," she told him, "that's his job," she hooked her thumb over at me and I chuckled.

"Idiot?" Marisa questioned, clearly confused at Rinn calling Captain America an idiot.

"My nickname, used mainly when I'm being overly obtuse about things." Which happened often enough that I felt I deserved the appellation. I was far from perfect no matter what the rest of the world thought or expected.

Lucas kissed Rinn on the cheek. "I'll talk to you later. And I expect a dance."

"Of course," she agreed, giving him a full skirt out curtsy that rang as sarcastic to me. To Lucas as well based on the smile he forced on his face. Like he knew it would be the expected reaction, but could not quite manage it for real.

Then she grabbed my hand and pulled me away, heading back towards the tables. She searched the room and eventually led me over to one side where an older gentleman sat by himself at a table near the dance floor. There was a clear view of the bridal party table, but no one else had chosen the table and it's prime view of the festivities that would begin in the near future.

She marched right over to the man, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

He whipped about and I added a least a dozen years to the age I had been guessing when I'd seen him in profile.

He turned to see who had accosted him. "Rinn? I thought you couldn't make this shindig?" Then he caught sight of me, my hand still in Rinn's grasp and stood up so fast he damn near knocked her over. He stood at attention and snapped a salute. "Captain Rogers. Warrant Officer, Geoffrey Cyrelle, sir."

"At ease," I told him, mostly out of habit, forcing myself to not stand up straight and snap a salute in return."I haven't been a real captain for a very long time."

"Doesn't matter, you earned that rank through blood, sweat, and tears."

"And a few decades as a popsicle," Rinn added cheekily.

He shot her a glare that morphed a second later into an ear to ear grin. "That too," he agreed. "Sit, sit," he insisted, waving at the seats going unused at the table. "Someone will be along in a moment to offer alcohol to keep us amused until the food arrives."

I pulled out Rinn's chair and she shot me a grateful look, appreciating the gentlemanly touch in front of the man who had to be her Gramps. Once seated he held out his hand for me to shake, his grip firm even though he had to be upwards of ninety years old. At one point in time he'd been well over six feet tall and built like a linebacker. I could see the young man in the older one who stood before me, his hair gone white and wispy, skin parchment thin, blue veins standing out in his skin. He wasn't that frail or pale like most his age and obviously spent time outdoors in the sun. I wondered how often he chopped his own wood, the callouses on his hands proving he remained unafraid of hard work and did not shuffle it off to those younger than him.

I could only hope to be half as hardy once I reached his age.

Then again I was his age.

"An honor to meet you, sir."

"Honor is all mine."

"You two. Sit down before you start trading war stories." Rinn feigned the irritation, grinning up at us in pure merriment. She had been looking forward to this more than I suspected.

Mr. Cyrelle cocked a white eyebrow at her, the move eerily familiar. The nuts truly did not fall far from the tree in this family. He settled into his chair with a groan he endeavored to hide. Rinn heard it, but did not comment, clearly knowing about the pride I could sense hanging about the man like a cloak. He would make his own way come hell or high water and, given he was a vet had already survived the hell part, he simply waited on the high water.

"How do you put up with her?" he asked nodding at Rinn.

I shrugged and sat down next to her. She leaned back in the chair so the menfolk could speak without having to crane around her. "It's a hardship, of course, but I have such a kind heart I can't just walk away."

She snorted and backhanded my shoulder. "Idiot."

I leaned over and kissed her temple, Gramps watching with wary eyes the entire time. "You two… seeing each other?"

"I see him far too often given we live together, but no. We are definitely not dating."

He turned an odd shade of red. "Living together?"

I understood. His moral compass probably much like my own given we'd probably been born within years of each other. "We live in a castle. Me and my team live in one wing, her and her company in the rest of the huge building. So, yes, technically we _live_ together. In reality we're more like neighbors in a massive apartment complex."

He narrowed his eyes, watching the two of us with care. "Then what was that?"

Rinn turned to look at me, a fond smile lighting up her eyes. "We're friends, Gramps, who have been through some serious shit together."

He nodded, the dour look lightening. "And it made you closer than friends, but not more than friends. I've had a few of those in my life. Worth every bit of aggravation, if you want my opinion."

"Can always use an opinion with this one. She's all kinds of trouble."

"Me? Mr. I let buildings fall on me on a regular basis here."

Mr. Cyrelle laughed. "I imagine dealing with an enhanced can be challenging in a variety of ways."

"You have no idea,"I muttered then realized I had no clue if he meant me or Rinn. Did he know she was something more than human? That she'd discovered she'd been changed when she'd survived an illness that normally killed anyone falling prey to it?

I couldn't exactly ask and risk the spilling of those beans should he not know. Yet… yet I got the impression he knew a lot more than he would ever be able to tell.

He laughed at the look on my face. "She's a handful in her own right, but I suspect you're speaking of your team. Two of them are enhanced as well, yes?"

The gentleman who would be taking care of our table and the others nearby, all of which were filling up finally, paused at Rinn's signal. "Yes, ma'am?"

I saw her face scrunch up at the ma'am, but she let it slide without a verbal complaint. Poor kid was just doing his job and had probably been told to play nice with the soon to be drunk wedding party members. "There should be a bottle of Macallan eighteen stashed about somewhere. Please bring it, ice, and three glasses."

He blanched and swallowed hard. "Ma'am, it is my understanding that bottle is for a private-"

"Yep," she cut in. "Me. Should be on hold under Laurin Cyrelle. My apologies, I should have started with that."

His color came back quickly. "Oh, of course. I'll bring it right out."

Gramps eyed her warily. "You did not."

"I did. I would have gone with the twenty-five, but I know you prefer the eighteen."

He wagged a finger at her. "You are a horrible child."

She grinned and preened, "But I'm a wonderful great-grandchild."

"And modest too," I tossed in, making her Gramps laugh. I scratched the edge of my ear, wondering how to answer his question without telling more than I should.

Rinn got there first. "They're just people, Gramps. Good people who work their asses off trying to hold this world together."

He reached over and set a hand atop hers. "I'm glad to hear you say that. Far too many people think they are dangerous just because they are different when there is no real evidence to support that." He shook his head then let his gaze rove over the room and those gathered there. "I thought we had finally outgrown such petty differences."

I sighed softly. "So had I."

"Oh if you two are going to start reminiscing about the good old days, you know the ones where you were a sickly little runt and everything you ate was boiled, I'm going to need something far stronger than alcohol." She leaned back, looking for the waiter who would be bringing us the libations and food once they began serving.

"Right, 'cause you had no idea this would happen if you got the two of us together," I snarked at her, the grin flashing for an instant.

"She's only complaining because she's heard all the stories I have to tell," Gramps informed me, clearly not upset at Rinn's commentary.

The man quite plainly fond of her. "You two seem closer than I would expect given the generation gap."

Rinn shook her head. "Who do you think taught me to fly? I had my pilot's license by the time I was ten thanks to this man and much to my parents' utter dismay. He'd sneak me out when I was supposed to be at dance and take me up. I loved it."

"But her talents lay elsewhere, no matter how badly she wanted to be a test pilot and keep the family tradition going."

"Did you fly during the war?"

He nodded. "P-47s."

"A jughead?" I questioned.

He nodded. "Managed to not get shot down and when I came home taught others to fly them without getting themselves killed." He settled further into the chair. "Turned out to be pretty good at it." He tipped his head to one side, eyeing me. "I never met you in person, but my squadron did some patrols for the Commandos. Saw you a few times in passing. You and yours did good work. Sorry to hear about Sgt. Barnes."

"He's doing much better now. Thanks to this one." I nudged Rinn who had been watching the crowd as the festivities started to get going. The DJ tapping at the mike to get the room's attention. Rinn didn't seem to care until she spotted our waiter with the requested items.

He made it to the table and set the various items down, when he picked the bottle back up, probably intending to open it and pour, Gramps shooed him away and did it himself. "Still neat for you, yes?"

Rinn nodded.

"Heathen. And you Captain Rogers?"

"Same, and call me Steve, please. I'm definitely not on duty right now." I took the glass he handed me.

"Geoff then. Only those actually in the family get to call me Gramps." He grinned as he placed two ice cubes in his glass and poured the scotch over them. "You are welcome to change that if you like."

"Gramps," Rinn squawked, cheeks pinking over. "He's seeing someone and she is very nice."

"Shame. You two look good together."

I couldn't argue that, but she also looked quite stunning next to Bucky. "Well, if you want to marry her off, Bucky might be interested."

If anything Rinn's cheeks turned even redder.

"Sgt. Barnes?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "She always did have thing for the bad boys."

"Oh my god. I will not have two old men discussing my love life or lack thereof. James and I friends, nothing more." Rinn hadn't lied, but I suspected that while they had indeed become friends that if Buck were to even hint at becoming something more again she'd take him up on it in a heartbeat.

"My dear, while I know you will hate hearing this, I'm going to say it anyway; don't waste that mind of yours, have some kids before you get too old to enjoy them 'cause I know they will be just as intelligent as you."

I was shocked when the blood staining her cheeks drained away. "Gramps, I have no intention of getting married or having children… ever."

That kind of surprised me and clearly bothered her grandfather. "Rinn? Why not? I mean, you don't have to get married to have kids, but he's got a point."

She shook her head, looking like she wanted to run her hands through her hair, but couldn't without ruining the fancy hairstyle it had been forced into. "Dear god, Steve, I have a genetic disorder, which means any child I had would be at risk of inheriting it. I would not wish what I went through on my worst enemy, why would I even consider doing that to a child?"

Oh. That would be a damn good reason to not have kids.

Geoffrey looked confused. "But I thought when they cured you…" He waved his hand at her. "You're healthy, yes?"

She nodded. "I'm good, but it's genetics, Gramps. In my DNA. They were able to stop it from doing damage, but it's still there in me. Right now there's no way to fix that."

He turned his head to face me. "Yes, there is. That's how project Rebirth worked, yes? Rewrote you. Took what you were and made you into the best version."

I nodded in agreement. The description an oversimplification, but accurate enough. "I don't know the details, when it comes to the genetics and such, but I suppose it is possible that using the serum could permanently correct the genes that cause the disease."

"Except for the whole it doesn't exist anymore," she reminded, tone gentle.

Except it did. At least as recently as 1991. Howard Stark had recreated it and been killed for it. And she knew it. How close to the original I had no way of knowing and hadn't even mentioned it to Tony. All we knew was that it had worked, had turned that Hydra death squad into something so deadly they'd been put into permanent cryostasis since their masters had no idea how to control them. Even the infamous Winter Soldier not a match for even one of them, much less five.

Could the serum fix Rinn on a far more permanent basis? Permit her to marry and have kids, if she wanted that. Not all women did, and she could be one of them. She worked long, hard hours, currently found herself in danger on a regular basis, and took on far too much when it came to those superheroes she hung out with that could ever be good for her. Not exactly prime conditions for raising a child.

"It does in him." Geoff gestured with his glass this time before making the amber liquid inside vanish down his throat. "It does in Sgt. Barnes. How many people could be helped with it. How many diseases wiped out."

"Gramps," she set a hand over his. "How many people hurt? It doesn't make every person the picture of perfection. Remember the Red Skull? The man who created Hydra under the Nazi regime? It does more than cure all wounds, it makes you more of what you are. If you're an evil person, no matter how sweet the exterior, the darkness will come out." She looked over at me, my surely somber appearance, bolstering her on. "It's too dangerous to trust with just anyone. It could be abused far too easily, just like with James. No matter how much good could be done, someone would use it for the opposite, no matter how noble they claim the cause to be. And you know it."

His look so serious I had to wonder if Rinn had taken her speech too far. He reached out and patted her on the cheek. "That's my girl. Never take the easy route."

"Is this a test?" I muttered, earning a grin from Rinn.

"Every day is, last I checked."

"No shit," Geoff added, pouring more scotch for everyone and raising his glass in a toast. "Here's to never taking the easy way out."

We clinked glasses and drank.


	28. Chapter 28

The afternoon progressed much as expected. All the traditional high points being hit. Rinn had her dance with her brother, danced several times with her Gramps, and even dragged me out to stiffly muddle my way about the parquet that had been set down. Slow songs where I wouldn't risk stepping on her toes too much. I still hadn't learned how to dance, on purpose at this point, and Rinn knew it, knew why and made sure not to even hint that I do otherwise.

Foolish perhaps given the reason had passed on, but I couldn't seem to move beyond it. Rinn was kind enough to allow me to honor the woman I loved the only way I could figure out how to. So I shuffled, while she twirled, the red dress flaring out much to the delight of some of less than fully committed men and the chagrin of the women with them.

Rinn looked lovely indeed, but made it quite clear through every action that she had no interest in anyone else, and given she had no interest in me, I had to wonder if she would ever allow herself to fall for anyone. Being willing to have a romp or three with someone definitely not the same as falling in love. I tried to not judge her, understanding her reasoning as much as someone out of step with the current mores and morals could.

Her life, her choices.

I just wanted her to be happy and most days she seemed content enough, but on others I could see her need for more, a need she denied to herself.

She spent a fair portion of her time healing the broken hearts and minds of her friends that I realized she possibly spent none on healing her own.

When she spun back into my arms I dipped her, more carefully than the last time where she'd damn near ended up on her ass on the floor due to my unexpected clumsiness.

She looked up at me, the laugh fading at the serious look I must have had on my face. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I got her upright and her hand came up to rest against my cheek. "Nothing that can be fixed here." I glanced over the room, noting the death stares from her mother and other siblings, who had clearly chosen to continue being assholes, blaming me for breaking up the family and for being here. I doubted it would have been any better for Rinn had she come with anyone else, including some of the Wakandans, but it might have been easier. Might have permitted them to back down if only for the day and pretend they hadn't ripped a part of their life off in an effort to make a point.

Proving, I guess, exactly where she got her stubbornness from.

I wanted her happy. She would never be happy without her family. So, I decided that I would fix that… somehow.

"You sure?" She tipped her head, watching me with narrowed eyes.

"Very. Food? Drink? More horrible dancing?"

"The first two, methinks." She twined our fingers together and led the way through the other dancers and back to the table where her Gramps had been watching the festivities with a fond smile on his face.

"You two are putting the rest to shame out there and you're not even a couple."

"Oh we're a couple all right," Rinn snarked.

"A couple of whats, is the question," I finished, chuckling softly as I sat down.

Rinn picked up her clutch and patted me on the shoulder. "I'll be right back."

I moved to stand and she looked at me oddly.

"I don't need an escort to the ladies room."

I opened my mouth to argue, but closed it with a snap. Wasn't the first time she'd taken a pee break and on none of the other occassions had I felt the need to tag along. Why this time did I feel an odd sense of dread deep in my gut if she were to be left alone for more than a few seconds. I looked over the room and saw nothing odd until I locked eyes with her brother, the groom, who sat stiffly while his new bride smiled and chatted with the maid of honor who sat next to her.

"Steve?"

"No, you're right, sorry."

She gave me a confused smile, not about to complain at me doing my job no matter that she should be reasonably safe here in the haven of family and friends. Except that much of her family could be seen as potential enemies, which I hadn't overly considered until this moment. When discussing this trip with the rest of my team all had agreed that it would be comparatively safe.

Who would try something at a wedding?

Which made it a potentially perfect venue.

Geoffrey shot me an odd look. "Why does he look like he just went on alert?"

Rinn leaned over to kiss her great-grandfather on the cheek, mostly diffusing his concern with that move alone. " 'Cause, Gramps, he's also my bodyguard." Before the man could make a comment on that bombshell she escaped, heading for the main doors.

The public restrooms less than twenty feet away down a side hall. At full speed it would take me less than ten seconds to get there. She had her phone and a tracker worked into the cartilage piercing she had through the upper part of her left ear. The nanobots in her just loved when she decided on a new piercing, but she liked the jewelry she could wear with each new addition.

Then her Gramps cleared his throat. "Bodyguard?"

I nodded, not certain how much the man knew or how much I should tell. Didn't want to give the man a heart attack with worry over his great-grandchild. "There have been some… incidents the last few months. She doesn't travel anywhere without at least one of us nearby." Except when visiting Tony, but Geoff didn't need to know that.

"This TJ still causing trouble?"

Well that informed me she'd talked to her Gramps about some of her recent problems. "We don't know with any certainty." That was the truth and still fucking annoying. We still hadn't been able to confirm who his real employers were, the connections tenuous at best and buried at worst. Someone with power and willing to expend it on acquiring Rinn by any means necessary.

And eliminate, in an exceedingly final manner, those that failed them.

He snorted. "That's a yes. Slippery little eel of a man. He's put Rinn through enough. I have some contacts, I could possibly arrange for him to be permanently removed from the playing field."

Did her… Did he just offer to hire a hitman to deal with TJ? That there told me how much this man cared for Rinn. If he would risk his freedom to take care of a problem for her in this fashion…

"I'd do it myself, but my eyesight ain't quite good enough anymore."

I laughed. "Actually I do know this rather exceptional assassin… Two in fact. So while I appreciate the offer I would rather he lead us back to the ones actually calling the shots. The devil you know and all that."

Geoff got this serious look on his face and nodded solemnly. "Understood Captain." He all but saluted me. "The offer stands if you'd prefer not to sully your hands with the task."

Christ. Why did the rest of her family not back her this way? Together they would be a god damned force of nature. "Thank you," I told him with all due sincerity. "Why didn't you join in on the disowning thing?"

He growled softly, clearly not happy with the rest of the family for abandoning Rinn. "If her father were still alive…" He shook his head a mixture of sadness, disappointment, and anger on his face. "I have nothing the government can take away from me. Yeah, I have my pension and medical bills and such, but I know Laurin would cover every bit of it without my even needing to ask should it become an issue." He waved over at the bridal table, Rinn's mother, who sat across from us, the dance floor a wide no man's land between the family members. "I'm supposed to be at that table, but since I knew they would not permit Rinn to sit with them, I chose to sit alone. Family is supposed to stand by you, thick or thin, they've forgotten that."

"Blood is thicker than water?" I questioned.

He shook his head. "Blood ain't got nothing to do with it. Family is family, related or not." He cocked his head in a way that was eerily reminiscent of Rinn. "You know that's why she stood by you and yours, right?"

I shook my head. "I hadn't seen in her months before this mess."

He stared at me, eyes oddly captivating, and, I suddenly realized, the same shade of green as Rinn's. "Don't matter. She was always there for you, wasn't she? Picked up whenever you called? Answered your questions?"

"Yes," I agreed as the reality sank in. She had _always_ answered, whether a call or text or email, and I had clearly failed to appreciate the why of it. We hadn't _seen_ each other mostly due to my being concerned she'd get dragged back into SHIELD, or after, the Avengers, which she had point blank stated she did not want to be a part of in any capacity.

And yet… yet she had still come to our aid when asked and without question. She made certain to keep solid ties with Tony and SHIELD and the Avengers no matter what else she did in her life. And she could have easily faded into our memories and history. Instead she stayed on the fringes, there in the background even if never actually there with us. "And now she's given us a home."

"And a sense of purpose, I imagine. She has an insatiable need to help those closest to her. She came to you because you needed her." He sipped at his drink, he'd switched to iced tea a while ago, though half the bottle of scotch remained.

"She needed me too." I hadn't recognized it at first, but over the months, with her regular visits to Wakanda since the Accords, I began to see that she needed us as well. That she needed me in her life, and that was pretty damn amazing.

"Yes, she does. And apparently Sgt. Barnes. Which is funny as hell given he's my age."

I snickered softly. He had a point, but I had a suspicion that her ability to understand me and Bucky had more to do with the man sitting beside me than her innate ability to see people as they are. "How much time did you spend with her when she was sick?"

He smiled brilliantly. "A lot. Told her every story she would listen to, helped her tweak those games of hers, encouraged her to keep fighting when she no longer wanted to, and by some miracle she came out the other side."

"That's why The Darkside battle scenes are so vivid." I had always wondered how she'd managed the emotional component to the story lines. She had someone who had been there in person.

Geoff shrugged. "It was a distraction for her."

"Which she needed at the time." Having dealt with her going through a relapse I could just barely imagine how difficult it had been for this man watching his grandchild wither away, trapped in her own body and having a full understanding of what was happening to her.

"You have no idea." He glanced at his watch, a frown creasing his brow. "She's been gone a while."

My internal clock said she'd been gone about twenty minutes, twice the time it had taken on her previous trips. I pulled out my phone and checked for a text, as she could have run into someone and stopped for a chat. If so she would have let me know, but there was nothing. I shot off a quick text; my worry upping a notch, but not overly concerned yet.

Geoff shot me a quizzical look.

"Five minutes. Rinn gets cranky when I assume the worst first."

He snorted. "Sounds about right. You worry about her a lot I take it?"

"Oh hell no. She'd hurt me. Laurin can take care of herself. I don't let her spar with Bucky to boost her ego."

His snow white eyebrows rose at that. "She can keep up with super soldiers?"

I nodded. "Not at full power, of course, and we make her pull her punches with the trainees, but she's damn good and fast as hell."

He just looked at me in amazement. "Not much slows her down these days."

"Not really. Works seven days a week on one project or another, plus conferences and other events, meetings with prospective clients, maintenance for existing clients. She has a staff, but takes on the lion's share of the work. I swear she never sleeps."

"Always pushing forward that one. Too much in her mind trying to get out. Would be nice if there was someone out there to ground her once in awhile." He gave me a wistful smile, still hoping to add me to the family tree, which wouldn't happen, but who was I to disappoint the veteran seated next to me.

I would be there for her, as much as she would permit me anyway, but our relationship would never be more than it was now. And that was fine with me. I hadn't expected her to show up in Wakanda, but had no reason a regret a single moment after. Even if it had been a tad complicated on some days.

She'd given us a purpose and a home and there was no way I could ever repay her for any of that. And then she'd saved Bucky. He had his bad days, those when the memories of what he had done outweighed the good ones, the times he'd been a hero or a friend. He still spent time alone, possibly too much of it, but he no longer had to be forced to interact with the rest of the team. And he'd turned out to be one hell of a teacher; he had a lot more than just how to kill in his head and he had just begun to explore the depths of what his own mind contained.

I looked down at my phone. Still no response from Rinn. The worry had become official. I picked up the phone and stood. "I'm going to see if I can find her."

Geoff nodded, look solemn. "Let me know if I can help?"

"She probably just got distracted and hasn't checked her phone."

"You don't believe that any more than I do."

I had no response that wouldn't be an utter lie. I had the horrible feeling Rinn had fallen down the rabbit hole and not even the Alice could save her. I left the ballroom and went straight to the restrooms and there I froze. I needed to get inside, but couldn't bring myself to just barge in. A couple of women came out as I stood there waffling, both dressed up so I made the presumption they were from the wedding. "Any chance you saw Laurin in there?" I asked, getting wide eyes and confused smiles.

"No, sorry. Haven't seen her since you two were on the dance floor." The brunette giggled and blushed.

"Anyone else in there?" I waved at the ladies room door.

They both shook their heads and wandered off, giggling and talking to each other in hushed tones. I pushed open the door and stepped inside to find a rather luxurious bathroom including a vanity area for the women to pretend to fix their makeup and hair, but far more likely to talk about the men-folk they were hiding from.

"Laurin?"

I got nothing but my voice echoing off the tiles. I stepped back out into the hall, pulled out the cell and started the program that would track her phone. The app started fine, but it refused to connect, the signal unable to find anything. Even if she were out of range it would let me know exactly that, instead there was nothing and that was extraordinarily suspicious.

So I started another app that would check for unusual signals in the area and got an immediate hit on a jammer, one that would effectively keep cell phones from sending anything, both wifi and LTE of any stripe offline, and it was not the resort doing it to push their own pay for wifi, even that had been blocked. The entire area taken off the grid, a giant black hole for any signal. Only a private channel outside the excised frequencies would stand a chance of working.

"Shit." I scrolled through a few screens and gained access to the blocking signal and, with the simple tap of an icon shut it down. Instantly, my phone began to vibrate in my hand and I could hear dozens of others go off as well, all the data and calls and texts that had been trying to get through, but had been dammed behind the jamming signal, arriving in a flood of noise and vibration.

I called Rinn's phone and mere seconds later heard my ringtone for her phone, that USO song, from inside the bathroom. I charged back in, tracking the sound to find her clutch stuffed into the garbage can, paper towels heaped atop it. A frisson of fear sizzled down my spine. I tucked her bag under my arm and went to the tracking chip app. It took a moment to zoom in and it placed the device exactly where I stood. With despair knocking at a closed door in my mind I dug deeper into the trash and found the industrial, blood on it from them simply ripping it from her ear.

"Son of a bitch," I snarled, tucking the earring into my pocket, quickly searched the rest of the room, and found subtle signs of a struggle in a door that had been knocked out of alignment and a cloth on the floor that had been kicked under a chair in the sitting area. I gave it a sniff and recognized chloroform instantly.

It wouldn't put her down for long, if at all, which meant they would have mere seconds at most to hustle her from the building unnoticed. I stepped back out into the hall, bringing up the layout of the resort in my mind. There was a delivery entrance not far from here that would be the place to start. The employees only door required a key card so I simply shoved into it with my shoulder, easily forcing it open. Back here the decorating style far more utilitarian, as expected. I ignored the employees I saw and that gave me odd looks, but didn't try to stop me. Two turns and the hall doubled in size, as did the doors at the end of it. I pushed through them, noting that the locks had been broken and recently at that. A loading dock, between this ballroom and the next one over. There wasn't much to see, not even dumpsters, just some empty boxes, most from the liquor brought in for the reception based on the names I read on the sides of them. One pile had been knocked over, the only obvious sign of… anything frankly, the ground older asphalt that retained nothing except maybe the heat of a vehicle if I had gotten here faster.

So I walked to the tipped over boxes and began picking them up, under the third I found a shoe. Her shoe. The dark blue of the heel nearly black in color. When I touched it my hands came away red, the blood not quite dry yet, nor frozen, which meant it had not been here for all that long. I'd missed them by minutes.

And she'd done her share of damage, injuring at least one of her captors before being stolen away.

Shoe in hand I stalked back to the ballroom, intending to talk to the one person who had been acting oddly since our arrival.

I strode in, Rinn's belongings in my hands, heading straight for the wedding party table. Lucas spotted me and went dead white. He leaned over to his new bride and whispered something in her ear, probably excusing himself, before rising and walking quickly away, heading for a side door the resort staff had been using.

I followed, not about to let him get away.

Once in the back hall I broke into a run and caught up with him far faster than he had been expecting. He yelped and flattened himself to the wall, hands up in surrender. "What did you do?" I growled.

"I didn't have a choice," he said at a harsh whisper.

"Didn't have a choice with what, son?"

My head snapped about to see Geoffrey standing a dozen feet away, a frown on his face. "You shouldn't be here." Last thing I wanted was for this man to see me beat the crap out of his grandson over Rinn.

"Neither should you, but you seem to think he has done something." He waved at Lucas. "And it appears you are not wrong."

"Gramps," Lucas whined, looking to his relative for any hope of succor.

There was none to be had. "Talk."

Lucas shook his head, eyes going wide in fear.

I tucked Rinn's clutch under my arm, grasped the lapels of Lucas's jacket in one hand and lifted him off the floor with ease. He squeaked, shocked at being lifted so simply. Clearly he had forgotten exactly what I was.

Plus, I was more than a touch motivated.

"They threatened everyone. Said they'd kill them," he squalled, finally realizing I would not be swayed into letting him go with pleas.

"Who? Who threatened you?"

"I don't know," he shouted. "I got a burner phone delivered to me via courier and he used a voice changer. I don't even know if it was a _he_. Told me to get Laurin to the wedding by any means."

"How do you know they weren't bluffing?" Geoff questioned, not having even commented on my holding the man well over a foot off the ground.

"Sara was in a car accident a few weeks ago. Just bumps and bruises mostly, but it was them. Proving they could get to any of us." He hung in there limply, not fighting my grip, the guilt obviously eating at him. "I. Had. No. Choice."

"Of course you did," I snarled. "You could have warned her."

He shook his head violently. "They would have known."

"You could have warned _me_ ," I hissed, angry as I had ever been in recent memory. Nomad Security's number wasn't exactly in the book, but it also wasn't all that hard to get into contact with us. We had a Facebook page after all, though the nerd in charge of it took all due care with what got posted there. It was little more than a way to get into contact with the company and general information of what we would do.

"I couldn't risk it. They would have picked off the entire family one at a time." His tone had turned pleading, trying to convince me to understand that his betrayal was justified and ease his conscience. "If… if Rinn knew she would agree with me."

I growled deep in my chest, Lucas managing to go even paler somehow.

Geoff set a hand on my arm and I snapped my head about, my look surely hard. "He's right. Rinn would not have allowed anyone in the family to come to any harm."

"I know." And I did. "But then it would have been _her_ choice, not this." I dropped Lucas, his knees taking longer than expected to do their jobs and he damn near crumbled to the floor before finding the backbone to stand and face me. I shoved the shoe into his hands, the blood smearing on his palms and making him gasp in reaction. "She fought back. You could have done the same."

The shoe fell from his nerveless grip and I picked it up, not about to let the one bit of evidence I had go unexplored. "I want that burner phone."

He shook his head. "I destroyed it." At my glare he added, "They told me to," he argued, now getting defensive.

I shook my head, feeling sorry for the man. "She came here hoping to begin a reconciliation, I doubt she'll want any part of you after this." I turned and began walking away.

Geoff looked ready to spit nails, though because of me or his grandson I had no idea. "You could have come to me, boy. I'm old, not dead. You had best pray that she is found unharmed or I'll personally take it out of your hide."

"What are you going to do?" Lucas asked, voice shaking on the words, though in anger or fear I could not be certain.

I paused and looked back over my shoulder at him standing there appearing to have found his spine somewhere in the last few minutes. "Find her, what else."

He gave me a sickly smile. "As soon as they took her they made an anonymous call to report you being here. You should be locked up within the hour."

His words told me two things: he'd been in contact with the kidnappers as recently as today and that he didn't want me anywhere near his sister. Falling in line with the majority of the family who had chosen to separate their lives from hers.

Fools.

I laughed at him. Harsh and bitter, but a laugh nonetheless.

"You really think they'll be able to hold him?" Geoff shook his head, clearly upset at this unexpected turn of events. "He broke into the Raft on his own. He'll get out of here _and_ find Rinn." He turned to me. "Go. I'll take care of this one. Should I call the police?"

About Rinn of course. Had to admit I considered it, but when Lucas flinched I suspected he'd been given the whole 'if the police get involved' speech from the bad guys. "No, we'll handle it. Probably best to keep it quiet for now. To protect the family."

Geoff nodded. "Good hunting, Captain Rogers."

I gave him a nod and took off towards the nearest exit, tapping the comms device behind my ear. "Sam, Bucky you there?"

" _Where the hell have you been, Cap? You went radio silent hours ago,_ " Sam covered the worry in his voice the best he could, but I still heard it.

"I'll need a pick up ASAP. Should be incoming any minute."

" _Someone ratted you out_?" Bucky asked. In the background I could hear the engines revving up. Rinn had put them up in a nearby hotel, one quick quinjet hop away. We'd wanted backup just in case and I hated that it had turned out to be necessary. I wouldn't even have time to go back to the room and collect our belongings. Luckily, we'd prepared to cut and run if necessary and would lose no more than clothes and toiletries. I had our phones and she had intentionally left her laptop in the quinjet.

Wanting to pretend to be a real girl for a few hours.

Look what that had gotten her.

"That too. I took the jammers down not long ago." I headed for the grassy area behind the resort, the snow dampening the hem of my suit pants.

" _Jammers_?" Sam squawked. " _What the hell happened in there_?"

I sucked in a deep breath and told them the truth. "Rinn's been kidnapped."

" _Shit_ ," Bucky muttered under his breath. " _Who_?"

"Not a clue. Professionals that much I can say with certainty. I'll tell you all I know when in the 'jet. ETA?" I could hear that distinctive throbbing beat in the distance that signalled the arrival of at least one helicopter. Little chance it was a local aerial tour, those had a different sound to them. Might also be a couple quinjets, SHIELD or ATCU most likely. It would depend on who had a team nearby.

" _Two minutes_ ," Bucky informed me in a brusque tone. I suspected he was upset about the news, but focusing on doing the job. I could only imagine the mess he would have been if the programming hadn't been removed. He had control of those emotions now and that would be needed to find her quickly. " _I'm going to hunt down and gut TJ_ ," he growled, probably meaning it, and I had to agree it would be a good place to start.

"Can we interrogate him first?" I requested, the dusk settling in, the sky a brilliant orange off to the west and stars beginning to flicker in the east. Two of them moving uncharacteristically through the gloaming.

The choppers.

" _Pain then talk… maybe._ " Bucky, or the Winter Soldier rather, had probably been damn good at dishing out the pain as well as taking it.

" _Have to agree with Mr. Angry over here. TJ is the only one who we know has tried anything recently. I'll radio home and see if Wanda can find where he is right now."_

"It's a place to start, anyway." I had the feeling TJ would have gone to ground and completely divorced himself from the dirty work this time around given his failures on the previous attempts. Rinn's utter contempt for the man ultimately made him useless for close contact endeavors. Feeding others intel on her, however... Given he knew her intimately, he could have some limited insight into how she would react in any given situation.

The quinjet arrived in a swirl of snow and wind. Settling down on the ground a few yards away, rear hatch lowering to allow me in.

"Steve Rogers, put your hands in the air and get on your knees." The bullhorn call came from my right. A half dozen men in full riot gear stood with weapons aimed at me.

I ignored them and walked to the quinjet.

"Rogers," the man barked, "we will open fire."

I stepped onto the ramp. "Go for it," I muttered, not caring what they wanted. As the ramp began to lift I heard the order to open fire.

"Way to make an entrance," Sam commented as the bullets pinged off the exterior of the quinjet. They wouldn't do any real damage, the armour completely resistant to normal gunfire, but we would need to repaint… again.

I settled into a seat, placing Rinn's items in the one next to me, and rubbed a hand over my face. "Fuck."

I felt the quinjet lift into the air. "I'm going full stealth, might as well keep them from wasting bullets." Bucky flipped the switches in question and Rinn's most recent upgrade made the quinjet fade from visible sight. They would not be able to see or track us.

The choppers appeared then, not regular SWAT or tactical ones either, but full battle helos, prepared to hit me with, miniguns, it looked like. Could have been worse, I supposed, could have been an ATCU strike team with full amber equipment. We'd pretty much determined that would slow me down quite effectively.

Not that getting shot felt too good, either. Especially when I wasn't wearing body armour. I might look good in a suit, but it wasn't bulletproof by any stretch of the imagination.

The quinjet dipped and swayed in the wash of the choppers, but once they had passed us Bucky punched the engines and we shot forward, putting as much distance between us and the tactical team sent to ostensibly arrest me.

Given how quick they'd been to fire, I had to wonder if their actual orders had been a bit more deadly in intent.

Buck spun his seat about. "What the hell happened?"

Sam shifted about as well, all eyes on me for a second before flicking to the few items I'd been able to retrieve.

"Is that blood?" Sam asked, gesturing at the shoe.

I nodded. "Not hers, I think. They tried chloroform, but I'm betting she came to quickly, if she went down at all."

"She fought back." Bucky stated, face a blank slate, reserving judgement and holding back those emotions that would be of little use at the moment.

"Looks that way," I agreed. I pulled out my phone, not having looked at it since discovering her cell in the trash only to find a half dozen messages from her. I remembered my phone receiving them once I taken the jammer down, but hadn't taken the time to look at them.

I skimmed the texts, which told the tale of her realizing she'd been forced into a corner and trying to warn me. Not ask for help. Just warn me. As if more concerned they would use her to get to me. It would be effective I had to admit, no matter how she protested that I shouldn't. Now way I would permit her to be harmed in my stead.

And in that instant I got why Lucas had done as he had. Who do you protect? Those who can't defend themselves or the single individual who could?

The family included babies and young children that would be easy to get to. Rinn would have walked into the starving lion's den, facing down their hunger and desperation with her chin high if there were the slightest hope she would save everyone else.

We were far more alike than either of us would willingly admit.

Then I noticed the video message.

I hit play and cranked the volume on the tiny speaker. The camera had a horrible angle, possibly having been set on a counter leaning against something to grant it partial view of the sitting area in the ladies room. I caught an arm and flash of red - Rinn's dress - then two men, based on build since their faces were covered, only eye slits in the masks they wore, appeared. They had weapons, shock sticks like I'd had used on me by the STRIKE team when Hydra had finally made it's move.

Those fucking hurt, but were not nearly enough to take me down.

Rinn, however…

Sam and Bucky had moved to hover about, the view from the sides probably sucked, but more than adequate to get the gist of what had happened.

Rinn fought as best she could in the confined space and improper clothes, using anything and everything at hand as a weapon. She managed to get one of the shock sticks for herself, mostly by taking the charge and then shoving her flattened hand up into the the wielder's nose. He caught the move barely in time and jerked his head back to prevent the full force of the blow, which would have killed him, from happening.

Of course, now with the weapon of her own she proceeded to use it on him, not to shock him, but to hit him upside the head and put him to the floor with the how viciously she'd swung the damn thing. She broke the baton in doing so, it spitting sparks where the internal controls had been damaged. She threw it at the other man, jumped over the one on the floor heading for the door, when two more entered.

The first wrapped his huge hand around her throat and shoved her backwards to stumble over the one she had put down, who had almost made it to his knees. She went down, but managed an awkward roll and got back to her feet quickly. Blood now trickled down the side of her face.

" _You can never make it easy, can you?"_

Bucky twitched, but didn't say anything.

Rinn just grinned, not about to go down without a full-fledged battle.

The speaker took that away, raising a gun and shooting her. It wasn't a bullet though, but an ICER, a non-lethal weapon like those at SHIELD used. She collapsed in a boneless heap, unconscious in an instant.

" _This was a cakewalk_ ," the one snarled, clearly in charge.

" _Chloroform didn't work. And she fights like a hellcat,_ " one off camera responded.

The man on the floor finally got to his feet with a groan. " _No way an ord is that strong_."

" _Why do you think they want her. She's far easier to get to than Rogers."_

I felt my heart skip a beat or three at that.

" _Toss her stuff, straighten up, and let's get out of here. We're behind schedule as it is."_

A glove covered hand shoved her phone into the purse and the screen went black though the video continued recording before the auto shut off kicked in a few minutes later.

I stared at the blank screen for several long minutes trying to absorb all that I had seen. She'd been taken, by someone who knew they couldn't get me, which made no sense whatsoever. I mean, as blackmail of one stripe or another, sure, but other than that… Rinn was indeed enhanced, but it bore no similarity to how I had been. Project Rebirth having nothing to do with nanobots and vice-versa.

Idiots.

"You know what this means, right?" Bucky pointed at the phone with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"What? And be specific since it could go a half-dozen ways here," Sam requested earning a derisive snort from Bucky.

"She knew they were coming," I answered, getting a nod from Buck. "She had enough time to set up the camera to record before they got in."

"She probably cleared the room so there would be no incidental casualties," Buck added and I agreed. She must have realized the place was being jammed when she'd been trying to text me.

Texts I now went to look at in detail, reading every single heartbreaking line. The final one just the words: _they're coming_

Damning evidence that she knew she'd be taken and trying to warn me. Not asking for help, but warning me trouble had come to find her.

And she kept insisting she wasn't cut out to be a hero.

She could have run. Could have led them right back to the wedding reception, where I would have done anything to prevent her from being taken, which is why she hadn't. Others, others who had no idea what was going on or why, others who already hated me, would have been hurt at best and killed at worst.

She had protected all of them.

_All of us._

I rubbed my hand over my face feeling exhausted and useless. "What did you hear, Buck?"

"TJ," he growled. "I've only heard his voice a couple times, but I'm pretty sure the one who shot her was TJ."

Can't say I was all that surprised, he seemed to be the common thread in the various incidents that had happened to Rinn in recent months. "Then I guess TJ is where we need to start." I handed the phone to Sam. "Send the vid to Nomad and have the system start analyzing it."

"You think there might be something useful?" Sam asked, taking the phone from me with a frown.

I shrugged. "Not a clue, but we have to follow every lead. Lucas said they contacted him through a burner he later destroyed. I think we can track down the calls, but it'll take some serious processing power."

Bucky picked up the shoe, the blood having dried finally, but it should still be viable to run against any database we could get into. Maybe, just maybe, giving a direction to turn to.

"We gotta get her back, Steve," he stated in a tiny voice, shades of the longing he'd been forced to feel in the tone and look.

I set a hand on his arm. "We will."

I only wished I could believe my own words.


	29. Chapter 29

"You sure this is the place?" I questioned, and not for the first time.

" _Yes. Whether or not she is actually here is something else entirely_ ," Wanda responded without sounding as irritated as she must have felt.

The place looked so innocent. Three stories of glass and steel plopped down in the middle of perfectly manicured grass and trees. A stylistic infinity symbol on the side of the building along with the name InfiniTech the only hint to what lay inside. About as original as one could get with the glut of think tanks popping up in the wake of Hydra's demise. Everyone with a toy to be built and money to throw about starting up a company in an attempt to create the next big weapon. Hammer Corp had proven they could not keep up with Stark, so others had stepped in to fill the aching void.

Turned out, though, that a lot of these newer thinks tanks were all part of a single larger entity, one that had hidden itself deep after fiasco involving the kidnapping of the president of the USA and, more importantly Pepper Potts: AIM.

While no actual proof existed, most had simply assumed the company had gone under when their founder Aldrich Killian had been killed.

Apparently not.

I'd been forced to do my homework on the company and the man once we'd determined who TJ really worked for. Oh, the paychecks came from another company entirely, shells within shells within shells, but with a little outside help we'd followed the money trail back to AIM, who now functioned under the auspices a dozen smaller companies.

Hid inside them to be more accurate.

Tony hadn't been thrilled to learn Rinn had gone missing three weeks after - with Cyko essentially closed for the holiday season it had been rather easy to cover her absence with the media, though we'd been forced to let her employees in on the secret to keep the world unawares - and had chewed a fair chunk off my ass for not coming to him immediately.

I hadn't wanted to go to him at all, granting him a layer of protection from the repercussions that would be coming once we started poking into the hornet's nests. We used every resource we had, including T'Challa, created new ones, and still hit wall after wall. Tony, because of who he was had access we hadn't been able to acquire yet as a 'security company'.

He been mad as hell at me, but also relieved to know Rinn hadn't blown off their dates on a whim. He'd been the one to connect TJ to AIM and provided us with as much info as he could. Beyond that I'd kept him out of it. Protecting him to a degree. Ross still watched him with a gimlet eye, just waiting for that one mistake that would allow him to enact any clause of the The Accords that would permit him to take control of Iron Man without the need of Tony Stark.

Giving Rhodey a suit when Tony thought he would soon die one thing, giving Ross control over all things Iron Man? I doubt anyone in their right mind would find that a good idea.

Still, I felt beyond thankful for the assistance even if it only happened because of it being Rinn who had gone missing.

I could only hope to god this attempt would be more successful than the last three.

Yes, three other attempts to locate Rinn at other facilities just like this one, but with different names and all met with no sign of her. We'd been tracing emails, and texts and calls, any and all kinds of electronic data referring to a 'test subject 171-C' that spoke of regenerative abilities and that we believed to be our Laurin.

No other data we'd come across had even been close.

We had no clue how much TJ knew about her. That she had been seemingly cured of a disease that should have killed her was public knowledge. Watching her completely ignore a drug that should have put her down within minutes, another. Then the chloroform when they taken her, to which she'd been utterly resistant.

It had taken a ICER shot to put her down and even that had worn off before they'd secured her in the transportation. The blood on her shoe leading to a small time fixer whose body had been found a week after she'd been taken. The wound in his thigh not having had a chance to heal thanks to the bullet that had been placed in his skull at close range.

A bullet that had made no exit wound and yet had not been in the body.

A death now linked to that of the dead man who had tried to kidnap Rinn at that conference over the summer. And to bullets that had been fired at her in our home in Austria.

All of seemed to lead right back to AIM.

Though why they wanted her, I had no clue. Her 'bots were of no use to anyone except her.

Extracting them would cause them to shut down within minutes, even if stored in her bodily fluids. It was as if they knew she was no longer there. Which made some sense since her own body helped to power them. Their batteries not infinite, they leeched power from whatever they fixed whether a human or a giant server farm. The loss infinitesimal in comparison to the gain of near continuous repair.

And her 'bots were what would ultimately lead us to her. I pulled the fancy tracking device Tony had supplied; an app would just not do this time, and pressed the on switch.

See, her 'bots, much like Scott had surmised, spoke to each other using a very unique frequency, one Tony had been granted access to when Rinn's had been shut down, and had permitted him to work on the dormant nanobots. He'd created a device that would locate that signal and allow us to track it… right to Rinn.

Trouble was you had to be practically on top of her for it to work, the signal range, used for updates and internal communication between the 'bots, mere meters. He'd managed to up the range to almost a quarter mile, but I'd been in buildings larger than that. We had no choice but to investigate any potential target and just hope like hell the device would pick up the presence of the unique 'bots and lead us right to her.

"Anything?" Buck asked, glancing over that the screen.

"Not a blip, yet." I told him meeting his eyes, the concern well hidden beneath his game face. "You knew it wasn't going to be that easy, right?"

He huffed, a frown creasing his brow. "It never is. We should have brought the trainees. We could use the backup."

I shook my head. "The new batch is good, but both green and young." Youngest yet to be sent to us and I would not risk their lives on what was, in reality, a personal endeavor.

We hadn't stopped working, still trained, still hired out, still played hero and helped where we could, but the rest of the time we looked for Rinn who had all but fallen off the face of the planet. Her clients covered thanks to her amazing employees. Only T'Challa had called us out on her whereabouts and I had broken down and given him the truth. He had offered anything we could need to find her and, I had to admit I'd resisted at first, wanting to prove we could do this on our own, but as the days turned into weeks, I'd backed down and he'd given us what we'd needed most. Access to databases and power to run the complicated searches.

From a political standpoint, having it revealed that Laurin Cyrelle had gone missing could have dire consequences not only for her company, but for her clients. She had far too much proprietary knowledge in her head that could harm a dozen countries and three times that corporations that it was in everyone's best interest to keep it quiet and pray to god she'd be found unharmed and whole.

"T'Challa offered his troops," he argued, really wanting to go in fully armed and ready to take down anything.

"It's a bunch of nerds," I reminded him.

"Well armed nerds," he argued, showing me the tablet that he'd used to gain access to their security feeds.

Granted, being a hub of cutting edge tech we'd expected high end security, but more of the electronic type, not of the weapon type. He scrolled through the various security cameras, stopping on one that showed an entire room full of what could only be experimental weapons.

"Well shit."

" _Cap_?"

"They apparently design weapons here."

"Lots of them," Bucky added. "Sending feeds to both of you."

After a few minutes of silence, where both Sam and Wanda perused the feeds, she finally spoke up. " _They do not seem to be armed with anything more than normal firearms. We can handle those."_

" _What's on sub-level three?"_ Sam muttered, as much for us as himself I imagined.

Bucky quickly located the feeds in question, but was no more enlightened than Sam. "Something they don't want security to see at a guess."

The feeds seemed to be limited to the hallways and more public areas, nothing on the far side of the doors that could been seen, each with a number and a small window with a cover, much like… "Those are cells."

" _That's what I was thinking. Might be a good a place as any to start. We just have to get there."_

Bucky still kept scrolling through the feeds, when he stopped he pointed to a door on the screen. 171-C.

I clenched my jaw hard enough to feel my teeth pop in reaction. No way in hell that could be a coincidence. "Show 'em."

We had our target.

 

~^~

 

We went for disabling hits. They went for the kill.

Though in truth, if it turned out Rinn had really been kept in that room, I'd probably be willing to burn the place to the ground and salt the earth after to warn them from ever attempting to do me or mine any harm ever again.

We'd given them fair warning by setting off the fire alarms remotely and encouraging those inside to evacuate. A lot did. A lot more did not. Whatever project they were working on deemed too important to leave behind even with the threat of imminent death.

Security had figured out real quick that the alarm was a fake, so I had Wanda kill the power. Literally hexing the incoming lines and blowing the transformers out in a shower of violet sparks. Backup generators kicked in almost instantly, but it still left a fair portion of the building in the dark Only those on the exterior with any natural light, the rest the red glow of emergency lighting.

Still the panic by those in the white coats had been minimal. Those with the guns, hadn't shown any fear whatsoever.

We did our best to teach it to them.

The 'bot tracker went off as soon as the elevator we'd commandeered neared the sublevel, confirming that she was indeed here. Wanda got an energy shield in place over the doorway, which turned out to be an excellent idea given the loud explosion that went off against it the instant the elevator doors parted. We pushed forward, Wanda expanding the shield to fill the hallway in front of us.

"Shove it forward," Bucky suggested when the smoke cleared, revealing the well armed and armoured team in the hallway. The weapons non-standard by any definition. Looked like they had dipped into their stash of concept models to see how they'd work against four really pissed off superheroes.

Wanda smiled grimly and did so, pushed the shield away from us and forcing the team back willingly or not. One tripped over his own feet in his rush to get away, taking two others down with him, the swirl of red energy didn't care, shoving them along the floor like trash being swept up by a broom.

She stopped at a cross hall trapping the men on the far side, leaving the shield in place while we headed for the door marked with the number we suspected to be Rinn's.

The tracker agreed.

Bucky got his gun up and at the ready while I put the tracker away. Sam watched the hall, making certain our escape route remained clear. The elevator under our control for the time being. We would probably have to shoot our way out, but were more than prepared to do so - with or without Rinn.

I had to face that reality before opening that door. This could be yet another failed attempt. False readings on the tracker. Our guess another bad one.

There was no knob, just a card reader set into the door, so I stepped back and settled myself. A glance at Buck confirmed his readiness to move the instant the door came open. I did so by the simple expedient of kicking.

As soon as the door flung itself aside, Bucky surged through the opening, me right behind him.

We both stopped dead. Two techs sat at a desk laden with computers and monitors, staring at us in surprise.

"Move," Bucky barked, gesturing with the gun in which direction the pair should move in. One tossed his hands into the air, his chair falling over he stood so quickly. The other dove for something under the desk, coming up with a pistol that I batted from his hand with little effort.

Least now we could tell the difference between the guard and the actual nerd.

Bucky tapped the guard upside the head with the butt of his gun and the man dropped to the floor unconscious.

"Oh shit, Cap," Sam stood in the doorway, his attention on the window that looked into the second room in this… cell.

I didn't want to see what had made his dark complexion go pale even in the red emergency lighting. I followed his gaze to see Laurin lying on a hospital bed, the dim lighting casting odd shadows, making her look sickly and thin.

I forced open the second door, ignoring the shout of warning from the tech who had surrendered. Rinn didn't even move at my spectacular entrance, but I quickly figured out why when I aimed my flashlight at her. The red light hadn't lied, she looked horrible, so thin her cheekbones were sharp cut edges in her face. Her hair had been cut short, the locks shorn haphazardly to just above her ears. Restraints held her arms in place, so tight the skin had been rubbed raw and I suspected the dark tone to the heavy canvas to be from blood oozing from the wounds.

There were a score of monitors and cameras in addition to the ones in the outer room, some for the typical mundane uses, heart rate and blood pressure, but others I had no idea what they were for. All still worked, the system clearly considered a priority for the grid when the we'd cut the power. One showed what appeared to be a close up of her left hand, but it wasn't quite right. I had to shift around the bed before my brain permitted me to see the truth: they had cut off her pinky finger at some point in time and even that hadn't stopped her 'bots as they stole from her to repair the damage.

My vision bled over to red, and not just due to the lighting in the room. With a snarl I holstered my gun and pulled out the knife to cut her free from her bonds. She didn't even react, her breathing a harsh rasp that worried me more than I could articulate. I pulled her free of the various wires and, as gently as I could manage, lifted her from the bed and carried her back through the doorway.

She weighed nothing. She had never been heavy to me, but she'd gone from a reasonable weight to scarily thin, her bones prominent in my arms even through the body armour. With care I shifted her until her head rested against my shoulder instead of dangling uselessly and dangerously down over my forearm.

Bucky took one looked at her and I swear I saw the Soldier slide into place behind his eyes. Rinn had taken the command keys away, not the memories or the mindset. The Winter Soldier still existed within Bucky, only these days it was his choice when the assassin came out to play.

Normally I would be the first to admonish him and insist the Soldier wasn't needed.

Today was different.

"Buck, get us out of here."

He shot a deadly look at the tech who all but cowered, but Buck didn't care right now. He reached out, grabbed the front of the man's shirt and pulled him forward a few inches before slamming him back into the wall. He slid down to the floor either unconscious or dead.

Right now I probably would have preferred the latter.

I don't know what Wanda had done but the men she had shoved down the hall were now all lying on the floor unmoving and her lips were a tight thin line. At a guess Sam had filled her in on what he'd seen of Rinn.

Bucky led the way, Sam beside me and Wanda behind to defend our rear. We got back to the elevator and up to the main floor without incident, but met resistance the instant the doors opened.

Buck stepped out of the elevator before Wanda could get a shield up and opened fire. I had to give him credit; every single hit precise, one to the firing arm then one to the leg, putting them down quickly and efficiently without killing a single one of them. And he easily could have and saved more than a few bullets doing so. A few of them managed to scramble behind walls or desks, but Wanda yanked them right back out into the line of fire, and Bucky wasted no time adding them to the collection of downed AIM agents.

Once certain there would be no return fire, Bucky walked over to the one who appeared to be in charge and set a booted foot on his chest, pressing down hard enough for all the man's air to leave in a whoosh. Then he growled, "Tell TJ I'm coming after him, and I never miss."

We met no more resistance and were back in the quinjet in a matter of minutes. We had a triage bed in back and Sam set it up quickly, snapping orders for specific first aid supplies that Wanda grabbed with her powers not about to argue now that we could see exactly how bad Rinn looked in the cold light of day.

"Bucky, get us into the air."

He stowed the gun, his entire posture stiff with barely contained anger, but didn't argue. Starting the quinjet and getting us into the air quickly. "Where to?"

"Nearest hospital," Sam ordered and I had to agree that she needed medical attention as soon as possible.

"No. She can't go to a hospital," Wanda argued before I could. She narrowed her eyes. "What about the Tower? We should be less than an hour out from there."

Tony wouldn't like it much, but I would gladly do the whole beg forgiveness rather than ask for permission thing if it would get Rinn what she needed sooner rather than later. He wouldn't turn her away, I knew that. He might kick us out right after, but Rinn he would let in and probably never permit to leave once he had her this time. This had been one close call too many even in my opinion.

Bucky looked over to me for confirmation. "Do it."

He didn't argue and set the course for New York. Least this time we'd be invisible and less likely to draw attention upon our unexpected arrival. "I'll let you know when we're in radio range of the Tower. No way in hell I'm going to explain this fubar to Stark. He already hates me."

I nodded, feeling unconscionably weary as the brilliant and violent anger burned away. I pulled off the head gear and tossed it towards one of the storage bins, not caring if I made it in or not. I brushed the sweaty hair off my forehead before it dried and ended up in my eyes. Sam got an IV started and got a monitor in place that would give us a decent idea of her condition. "How bad?" I didn't want to know the answer, but had to know the answer. To better punish myself later for fucking up so badly. And this is exactly what had happened. One slip up. One moment of assuming nothing could go wrong and I had lost her.

"What did they do to her?" Wanda asked, pointing to a selection of scars visible on Laurin's arms and legs. It looked as if they had been torturing her for weeks.

"She's alive, if barely. Looks like they haven't been feeding her while cutting her up." Sam gently lifted her left hand, wrapping a bandage loosely about the damaged appendage. "I've got fluids going into her, but she really needs food. High protein and iron content, but I don't want to try to force a feeding tube down her throat here."

"Why's she still out?" Bucky asked, and this time the voice was all Bucky, the Soldier having gone back to his place in the depths of his mind for the time being. Death and chaos not needed right now, not that the worry and concern would be any easier to deal with. I wanted to hit something, or someone, and TJ would make an excellent target about now. If either Bucky or I got ahold of him right at this moment I doubted he would survive the encounter.

It might take him some serious time to die, days, weeks even, but he would most definitely be dead at the end of it, if not long before.

"I have no idea. I can handle basic triage but not much else," Sam reminded as he carefully lifted one of Rinn's eyelids and flashed a penlight into her line of sight. The pupil shrank and expanded as expected, but she did not otherwise react. He repeated it with the other eye. "My best guess is she's conserving what energy she can to focus on healing." He waved at the bandaged hand. "I had no clue she could do that," he said in a hushed voice.

"I don't think she did either. Not like she's lost a limb since becoming enhanced," I pointed out tiredly. I settled into a nearby seat, not about to let Rinn out of my sight until in a secure location. I'd been the one to lose her after all, I doubted I would ever forgive myself for that foolish error in judgement. Assuming she'd be safe surrounded by a family that had chased her away with pitchforks and flaming torches.

I wanted to shift at least some of the blame to them, but couldn't bring myself to. Not all of them. Lucas I blamed completely, but the rest… they hadn't any clue the games being played behind the scenes. TJ using the tear in the family to his advantage and doing it exceedingly well.

We'd had no clue we were walking into a trap. Granted my presence had forced them to modify their plan, but they'd still pulled it off with little or no problems. I hated to think what might have happened if she'd gone alone. She probably would have been taken in her room, out of sight of anyone else and never missed as only a select few had been aware of her actually coming to the wedding. And Lucas could have easily covered, saying Rinn's plans had changed unexpectedly. No one would have known she'd even been there.

And we, those of us who were closest to her, would not have had any idea what had happened.

She would have simply vanished.

 

~^~

 

" _Mr. Stark is not currently in residence, I will need to request permission for you to land."_ FRIDAY just followed the rules Stark had laid down for her, though Bucky looked like he would have one hand wrapped firmly about her throat if she had a physical body anywhere nearby.

"FRIDAY, we have Rinn." I could only hope those words would be enough for the computer to relent her security protocols and grant us access to the facilities here.

" _Well why didn't you say so?"_ The AI replied in full snark mode. " _I just need to verify-"_

"She's unconscious," I added, sounding a bit testy to my own ears, "and in desperate need of medical attention."

The computer went silent for long seconds. " _Permission granted. We have parking space inside and a medical team en route to the hangar. Mr. Stark has been informed of the situation and will be here as soon as he can. He was called into a council meeting on a matter involving the Accords and may not be able to get away as quickly as he wants. You have full use of the Tower's facilities for the time being. Please, make yourselves at home."_

Rinn's presence clearly the magic key we needed to get in.

Bucky set the quinjet down with all due care, the automated system locking on and pulling the vehicle inside and placing it in the first available spot.

Sam had already unhooked the IV, holding it high to keep the fluids moving into her. I couldn't tell if they had helped at all, but she didn't look any worse. That could be considered a small blessing at least.

With all due care to not tangle the line, I picked her up, blanket still wrapped about her in an effort to keep her warm, her body focused on more important things at the moment, and carried her towards the back of the craft. As soon as we'd fully parked the rear door lowered and I stepped out with Sam right beside me. I strode quickly for the elevator, wanting to get down to the medical level as quickly as possible.

Before we could even press the button, the doors opened revealing four members of the on staff medical team around a gurney. I didn't bother waiting for their direction and set Rinn down while Sam handed over the bag to be hung on the pole. The doors closing before Wanda and Bucky could get in.

I tapped my comms. "Buck? Wanda?"

" _We're good. Will meet you there."_ She didn't sound upset at being shut out and I could only wonder if Bucky had reacted less enthusiastically at being forced to wait for the next car heading down.

"What happened, Mr. Rogers?" one of the techs, I didn't know if she was a doctor or nurse, not that it mattered, asked.

"We don't know for certain. We suspect she's been tortured. The pinky on her left hand was cut off recently and appears to be rebuilding. We found evidence of multiple cuts or stabs on her arms and legs. Most healed, though there appears to be scarring." I felt my heart speed up, anger swallowing up my voice, dragging it deeper and deeper until certain I was speaking in unintelligible growls.

"Cap, it'll be okay." Sam spoke soothingly, but it didn't really ease the red, raw, vitriolic pain and hate I could feel churning in my gut. "We got her. We saved her."

"We shouldn't have needed to," I snapped, fist coming down on the gurney rail and folding it until the top rail met the bottom one. And I hadn't even been trying. I sighed, rubbing my hand along my jaw and through raggedy beard that had formed there, hairs rough against my hand. "Shit. Sorry," I muttered to the wide eyed techs who just had been the unpleasant witnesses to my temper.

"Steve…" Sam shook his head, "I want to say it wasn't your fault, but you've already decided it is, so…" He shrugged. "The point here is we did save her and I doubt anyone else on the planet could have."

"Perhaps. But if we hadn't put a target on her back-"

"This," He gestured at the unconscious woman on the gurney, his voice soft and almost pleading, "was not because of us. It wasn't blackmail. It wasn't some power grab. _She_ was the target. Not us. Not _you_. And that is the truth."

"I know," I snarled, feeling even more helpless than when she'd been taken. I couldn't fix her. I couldn't heal her. I couldn't do anything but stand back and watch, not knowing if she would live or die within the next few hours. I'd done my part. _We_ had done our part, our duty, played the white knights and rescued the damsel in distress.

So why did I feel like my proverbial shield had been tarnished beyond redemption?

The doors opened and the techs slid between me and Sam into the hallway and away from us. We followed along as they got Rinn into the room with the full body scanner. Made sense, I supposed, assess all the possible injuries before moving forward.

They shifted her with care, her body still limp and unresponsive to outside stimuli, which worried me. God knew what they might have done to her mind, or what her mind might have done on its own to protect her. Hell, her 'bots might have stolen from it in their efforts to repair other damage, potentially leaving her little more than a vegetable that would never be able to function again. They fixed things however they could, using whatever they found, there were no rules or commands telling them to not use one part of her body over another.

The medical team increased by three as I watched and waited, all of them looking shocked and speaking in quiet voices at what the scan revealed to them.

As soon as it had been completed they switched the saline out for either blood or plasma, I couldn't tell from where I stood, which made an odd sort of sense. While it wouldn't have nutrients, the 'bots had probably been raiding everything in their efforts to fix her. Pump in some spare red blood cells and it would begin to replenish what had been lost.

Then they transferred her back to the gurney and rolled her away.

I wanted to follow, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned to see Bucky.

"Let her go for now."

"How? How do I let her out of my sight? Last time I did they took her." I started at the broken tone in my voice. "Fuck, why is this so hard?"

Bucky gave me a grim smile. " 'Cause you love her, you idiot."

Wanda coughed into her hand, covering her laugh of surprise. "You are telling us he didn't know?"

I stared at all of them in utter confusion. "No I don't," I argued, though my voice remained tiny and cracked on the words.

"Not 'in love'," Sam corrected. "Just love. She feels the same for you in case you were wondering."

I stood there feeling stunned. I mean, I cared about her, knew she cared about me, I had just never put a word to it, but they weren't wrong. I did love Rinn and would do anything for her, but right now all I could do was wait, and that left me feeling frustrated and lost.

A nurse came trotting out. "We'll be moving her into a room soon, there's not much we can do until we get her stable. But at this point her prognosis is looking good. We'll know more once she's regained consciousness."

"Can we sit with her?" I asked, not wanting to intrude if it would be more of a hindrance than a help.

The nurse nodded. "There's a viewing window as well, we figured you'd want to be able to keep an eye on her."

" _She will not be out of my sight at any point,"_ FRIDAY added, for which I felt oddly thankful.

The nurse pouted as if insulted she and the rest of the medical team would leave Rinn unattended for any reason.

"Thank you," I told her for all of us. "We will attempt to be patient."

She gave us a small smile then turned to walk back down the hallway.

All we had to do now was wait.


	30. Chapter 30

Rough hands grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me about. They moved to my chest shoving me with a strength and violence that surprised me. My back hit the wall with enough force for it to pop under my mass. The fingers twisted into the weapon harness of my armour pulled me forward and shoved me back again, cracks appearing in the wall that I could see in my peripheral vision.

Tony had arrived and appeared to be a touch angry.

"This is all your fucking fault, Rogers." He slammed me again and I did nothing to fight back, deserving every word, every bit of pain he could manage to bring me, which sadly wasn't all that much.

What I had so unwittingly wrought warranted so much more.

He stepped back, hand shooting out to point at the woman lying on the pristine white bed in the room we could see through the glass, her skin only a shade or two darker, face sunken in, skin stretched taut over her bones. She'd been too weak to put in a feeding tube, they feared doing more damage than it would help at this point. Her wrists raw and oozing from the restraints she'd been held in. Her left hand with a burn tent over it, protecting without interfering with the work the 'bots attempted to complete. Slowly creating bone and muscle and building a new finger to replace the one that had been removed just above the third knuckle. The majority of the available resources focused on that task and not caring about the rest. Prioritizing the repairs.

"You did this to her. You and no one else." His finger stabbed me repeatedly in the chest. "Look at her. Look what they did to her. You _failed_ , Captain America." The words sneered, his face twisted and almost unrecognizable in his ire.

All I could do was stare at him, my gut churning, my heart breaking into tiny pieces. The first time I'd seen Tony in person, in the flesh, in months and… and he was right.

I straightened and he jerked backwards a step. "You think I don't fucking know this is all my fault? You think I haven't been pulling out my hair and wracking my brain to figure where the fuck she'd been taken? Do you think I'm the least bit happy to know that they fucking tortured her for no justifiable reason? I know I'm a fucking idiot, I don't need you to remind me of that. _She_ does," I snapped my hand out to point at Rinn without ever taking my eyes away from Tony's accusing ones, "every fucking second."

Tony took a step back, tipping his head slightly and giving me a full once over. "When did you last sleep?"

I just blinked at him, utterly confused by the seeming random question. "What?"

"When. Did you. Last sleep." He spoke slowly and carefully enunciated every word as if speaking to a small child or someone whose IQ was barely enough to permit them to walk upright.

"Uh," I rubbed my face, then shoved the hair that had fallen into my eyes out of the way. "Night before Rinn was taken, why?"

Tony sighed, eyes closing for a long moment. "Go get some shuteye," he ordered in a soft voice. "Your suite is still there."

I shook my head. "I can't. Rinn-"

"Has the best care available and FRIDAY watching over her. If anything changes, if she wakes up I'll come get you myself." He sighed heavily. "You are no fun to argue with when this tired." He shoved his hands into his pockets and tipped his head down, watching me through his eyelashes. "Six hours at least."

Sam cleared his throat and I shot a glare at him. "He's right. Get some sleep, Steve."

Wanda got this evil grin on her face, red energy swirling about her hands. "I can make certain you stay out," she offered, that one eyebrow rising on her forehead, maybe half-serious at best.

I glanced over at Buck, who attempted to remain unnoticed, not certain I should leave him alone while Tony was here.

"Oh, don't worry about your bromance partner. I won't touch him." Tony faked the joviality well, but Bucky flinched ever so slightly, the anger and hate there in the undertone of the words. Little wonder last time we'd made use of the Tower's facilities Tony had been anywhere but here.

I didn't blame Tony, he had every right to hate the Winter Soldier and want him dead. Hell, under normal circumstances I would have gladly helped Tony get his vengeance, only the fact that Bucky happened to be the one to blame prevented me from assisting.

In many ways the Winter Soldier had been killed. Or stopped, at least. Bucky no longer a slave to the programming or Hydra.

"Why not?" Bucky asked cautiously. He'd shed the uniform jacket, the short sleeves of the dark shirt beneath revealing the metal arm, currently a dark grey that probably reflected his mood more than anything else.

Tony refused to look at him, but still responded. " 'Cause she wouldn't want me to." He waved at the window framing Rinn. "For some completely insane reason she cares about you." He turned his head slightly, probably just catching Buck in the corner of his vision. "I'm not about to hurt her, so you get a pass for now." Then he turned back to me. "Go. Sleep. I'll protect Laurin."

I had no doubts he would and felt myself sag in relief. Tony might take his idea of protection too far on occasion, but I had no doubts he would allow nothing to harm Rinn while I caught a few winks. I nodded slowly, forcing myself to walk past Tony who stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. "What now?"

"Thank you."

I raised an eyebrow in question. "For what?"

"Not stopping until you found her."

Sam snorted. "No chance that wasn't going to happen."

The weight of the world crashed down upon my shoulders then, the fact that I hadn't slept in well over a month making the need come to the fore. I could finally relax and let someone else take control of the situation. Let someone else push that damn rock up that god damned hill for a while.

I was tired.

Rinn alive and safe.

I'd done my fucking job.

Time to reap the rewards.

"Go on, Rogers, before you fall over."

I didn't argue.

~^~^~^~

 

"So, what did you want to show me?" I had met Tony in his lab even though I would have preferred my silent vigil outside Rinn's room. It had been nearly three days and she still hadn't regained consciousness. Her vitals had improved and they'd successfully gotten the feeding tube in, which seemed to have be the turning point. The nutrient rich liquid giving the nanobots what they needed to complete their tasks. Her finger rebuilt in less than twenty-fours hours, the various scars and injuries, fading now that the 'bots no longer focused on what they had considered the most important of them. Her wrists healing in mere moments, the raw skin turning back into smooth flesh.

They could not rebuild the muscle they had stolen from to fix the various traumas that had been done to her, but once they no longer stole to fix she began to regain weight and color.

Though she continued to play sleeping beauty.

Once she'd been deemed stable Tony had a stylist come in and do what he could with her hair. The shredded locks now a very modern pixie cut I knew she would hate, but the man had saved every inch he could. Why they had cut her hair I had no idea, but the fact that even Tony knew the scraggly damaged locks would upset her impressed me. Knowing they were friends and knowing that he really understood her were two different things. Their friendship had always been an odd one to me.

Though no less odd than ours I realized.

"This." He waved his hands and a half dozen scans appeared floating in the air around us.

"Rinn's?" I asked, because, let's be honest, who else could they belong to. For the time being she had become the center of our universe, the dimly burning sun our lives revolved about.

"Yep. Notice anything odd?"

I roved my eyes over the various images, but saw nothing out of the ordinary, but, then again, I had nothing to compare them to. "No. Should I?"

He sighed. Then did something to bring up another scan, one clearly not Rinn's. "That is Clint, from when we replaced that chunk in his side."

"Damn. How many bones has he broken?" I moved over to the floating interactive hologram touching various points to zoom in or rotate.

"Plenty. He's a walking magnet for injuries." Tony shuffled awkwardly. "Probably a good thing he retired when he did."

I couldn't argue that point at all, especially since he had a family to consider. A bit worrisome that I knew if we really needed him he would come without a moment of hesitation. "So what am I supposed to be seeing here?"

He shifted one of Rinn's next to Clint's, but I still failed to understand what I should to be seeing. Rinn's looked fine. No obvious damage, no… Oh. "She's broken more bones than Clint so where the evidence?"

"Ah, you now see my dilemma." He dismissed Clint's scan, leaving only Rinn's hovering about us. "Her nanobots are good, but I have serious doubts they could have repaired all the damage she suffered without leaving a single trace behind. Dr. Cho's synthetic tissue is amazing, but still different enough that scans pick it up. We wouldn't have Vision without it, but this…" He tapped one of the holograms, zooming in on her recently injured left hand, this an early scan before the finger had regrown completely. "This is impossible."

"What are you saying?"

"Her bone density is consistent throughout, heavily modified, lightweight, yet stronger than even yours I'd bet." He switched modes to one that focused on her musculature. "Muscles the same, clearly modified to enhance strength and resilience. And dense as all hell. I seem to recall her being extremely limber?"

I nodded. I'd seen her do yoga poses that looked painful for anyone of even reasonable flexibility. "Her nanobots…"

He shook his head. "Can't do this. No way."

"They just rebuilt her finger, are you telling me they couldn't have done all these modifications?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. They only _fix_ things, so while they should have repaired a broken arm or torn muscle tissue from a cut, they had no reason to do this. Every single bone has been improved, not just where the breaks were."

"Could they.. Could they have been smart enough to determine that the best way to 'fix her' was by fixing everything?" A stretch, but potentially within the programming parameters.

"Possible. Faintly, but possible. Still doesn't explain the alterations to her muscles and ligaments and… and brain."

"Her brain? What are you talking about?" And now I was worried, terrified that while she may have survived the kidnapping she might never be herself again.

He switched the scans again, this one obviously of her head. The image of her skull that same oddly glowing bone like the rest, though the back of her head seemed different. I touched the area, zooming in, knowing this was where she'd been injured during that explosion in Wakanda. "She took a serious blow to the head, bad enough that I had to set her arm. By the time the docs got to her she only had a concussion."

Tony huffed softly. "I've seen the medical file." I shot a look his way, but he only shrugged. "And you think it was a lot worse."

I nodded. "We found her desk during the rescue efforts. I'm not sure how she walked out of there, much less saved two others on the way out."

"Because, whether or not she wants to admit it, she has a hero complex as big as yours." Tony's tone was dead serious, but the corners of his lips twitched and I saw that twinkle of merriment in his eyes.

"Well, learn from the best I always say."

"Oh, you wound me." Tony's hand went to his heart in the most overly dramatic fashion possible pulling an unexpected laugh from me. "You found where her 'bots repaired the damage to her skull, but you need to look deeper."

I did so, switching the focus of the scan to her brain. It looked like an ordinary brain to me. "Sorry, Tony I have no clue what I'm looking at or for."

"Of course you don't," he muttered under his breath, but changed the view to reveal what almost looked like overlapping fireworks going off within Rinn's mind. "This is a fairly short loop, ninety seconds or so, and she's unconscious."

"And her brain is firing that much? Is that normal?"

"For her, probably." He tossed another scan up. "That one is mine. Again a ninety second loop, but I'm awake."

The fireworks just as impressive, the neurons in his brain firing almost continually. Which made sense, the brain handled a massive amount of data autonomously, which meant working constantly awake or not. "Uh, Tony, even you have said she's smart. Isn't this what you'd expect to see?"

"Not to boast, but I'm insanely smart. Top one percent of the one percent. If this map of hers is even close to accurate she's potentially way smarter." He paced slowly about, through some of the displays. "She is essentially running three different business at once, along with doing most of the design and coding. I'm good, but I let other people handle the day to day stuff for Stark Industries."

"Last I checked you were running the Avengers."

"Not really. Hill handles a lot of it. I spend most of my time creating new suits and other toys. Working on making the Arc Reactor tech affordable, computer systems…" He trailed off waving a hand about. "Rinn does all that, plus being the face of Cyko."

"Are you saying she shouldn't be that good?" Something about all this had Tony deeply concerned, but he was taking his sweet time getting to the point.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. No one disputes she was the smartest child of her generation, but something boosted that ability, by light-years. And it wasn't her nanobots."

"Then what?"

He shot me a droll look.

The miracle cure, of course. Not that we had any clue what it was. "Wait. The EMP. She relapsed. We all saw it." Done more than saw it. Watched her fall apart, that first broken bone leaving her quaking in terror and debating ending her life instead of fighting to save it. Little wonder she wanted no part of having children.

"Yeah, the one glitch in my theory. But even you can break bones. And she had taken one hell of a hit." He gestured at the skull image, the damage evidence that no matter the upgrade she could still be injured.

"You think all the pain was psychosomatic?"

"Maybe? I mean we all expected her to crash once the 'bots were offline, including her. The disease is still there…" He trailed off. "I have no idea, truth be told. She was miserable, even I can't deny that, but I can't tell you why."

"So, what exactly is the problem?" He had a point to all of this, something he wanted me to understand, but I hadn't made it to his end game yet.

He gave me that 'I'm going to be patient here' look and said, "You tell me."

"Uh…" Okay, so Tony suspected the nanobots were not the cause of her overall enhancements, which had turned out to be far more sweeping than we'd suspected. Bones and muscles improved, brain function increased… "Oh shit," I muttered.

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Yeah, 'oh shit' sums it up about right."

"Can we prove it?"

He scrunched up his face in thought. "Maybe? It leaves markers in the system, but I'd need a comparison sample."

And there I balked, as he had expected. "I… I…"

"Don't worry about it, Steve. It's not like we need to prove it. She's lived this long thinking her nanobots saved her, no reason to tell her otherwise."

"But it could mean her research is off in the wrong direction," I pointed out, feeling a touch guilty. Those medical 'bots she'd been working on may have been failing simply because her base premise suffered from a serious flaw.

"True," Tony agreed far too amicably for it to be real. "So how do you want to handle this?"

I rubbed my face in my hands. I'd slept once, for nearly eight hours much to my surprise. I'd showered and changed into some fresh clothes and eaten a few times, but no more. I probably looked like a scruffy wreck of a man. Nothing like the great hero I was supposed to portray all day every day. "I don't know. How about we get her better and then revisit this. Even if she wakes up tomorrow she's not going to be in any condition to get back to work right away."

It felt like a cop out, deferring the decision until a later unspecified date, but what other option was there. Yes, she needed to know. But she didn't need to know right now. "Run some more tests?" I suggested tentatively.

"I intend to. Gonna need to run quite a few more scans to ensure she's fully healed." Tony made the images vanish, just leaving the two of us standing in his lab. "But if she has been-"

"Then we need to find out how and who."

"And why."

"The why is obvious," I scoffed, "saving her." They hadn't wanted to lose their daughter, wanted to stop her suffering, to give her a chance at the glorious life she deserved.

Tony shook his head. "You sure about that?"

Not any longer.

~^~^~^~

 

I missed Sam and Wanda, but someone needed to keep Nomad going and there was no way in hell I would leave Rinn's side until certain she had returned to the land of the living and functional. So at day five, after semi-frantic calls from both Cyko and T'Challa just wondering what the fuck was going on, I sent them back.

Apparently, someone had been trying to hack their way into the Cyko servers - not the Nomad ones, oddly enough - without success, thankfully, but it had sweet little Hattie all riled up and in dire need of our assistance.

We'd told them what we could, not wanting them to worry unduly or get involved more than necessary, but we'd needed them to help cover. Rinn _was_ Cyko in many ways and while he employees could cover a lot of the work, none knew the systems anywhere as near in depth as her. The programming and such plotted out for weeks if not months to come, testing of new gear practically automated, which is how the company could function with such a small staff. We worked with them to keep everything on track, came up with a cover story of Rinn being ill once the new year came upon us and everything ramped back up at the company.

Everything went as well as could be expected, but nothing felt right. Rinn's presence missed by everyone involved.

Geoff texted or emailed regularly, both with offers to help and requests for updates. Since he seemed to be the only member of the family who seemed to care, I told him everything I could. Even the heartbreaking failures.

Or worse, the heartbreaking successes.

He'd been thrilled to know we'd found her, though I'd felt like an idiot for not thinking to let him know until four days later. Of course then had come the really hard part; letting him know how badly she'd been hurt. The man had offered to assist in any retaliation when I deemed it the time. Over ninety years old and still tough as nails and not afraid of a fight.

I did not tell him where we were, but had approached Tony about permitting him to visit once Rinn had been deemed up to it. He had agreed instantly, insisting that Rinn would have whatever she needed to recover. Of course, she would need to wake up first.

She had put weight back on, color slowly returning, until she looked slightly better than death warmed over. They ran scans almost daily to try and figure out what was going on inside, but aside from the obvious brain function within normal parameters, they had no guesses as to when she might actually wake up.

So we took turns sitting with her. Not always in the room, but nearby just in case. We figured a familiar face would be nice to see once she opened her eyes.

If she opened her eyes.

She may have simply run away in her own mind, the pain and desperation forcing her to find a less conventional escape from what she'd been forced to endure. I liked to think she'd be stronger than that, but since I had no idea what, precisely, had been done to her…

An alarm whooped, and I damn near jumped out of my skin. I saw the nurses who watched over her rush into the room. I set down the tablet I'd been staring at, looking over reports Sam had sent me for review and made myself calmly rise and walk over to the viewing window.

Rinn wasn't on the bed. Blood trailed from the white sheets, across the wall, to the far front corner I could not see from where I stood.

"What the hell happened?" Tony snapped, appearing at my side.

I shook my head. "Not a clue."

"Get away from me," Rinn shouted, voice thin and reedy from disuse.

Tony twitched, then sagged, probably feeling the same relief I did rush through me.

A mayo cart flew through the air, forcing the medical staff to dodge out of the way. It crashed into some of the other equipment causing one to begin spitting sparks due to the impact.

"Shit," I muttered, realizing the room she'd been in for the last week greatly resembled the one where she'd been held captive. And since she had no clue she'd been rescued, would probably assume the worst. And given she'd found herself no longer restrained, would do anything in her power to get away. I shifted around Tony and into the room, pushed between the harried medical personnel to stand before Rinn. "Hey, you, you're scaring the nice doctors."

She stood in the corner, the leg torn off the cart she'd thrown held before her as a weapon. An effective one given the sharpened end she'd achieved when she'd ripped it off. Blood dripped from her nose thanks to her violently removing the feeding tube and from her arm where she'd pulled out the IV they'd still had her on. Instead of properly slipping it back out she'd simply torn it through her flesh, the ragged two inch long wound already closing as the 'bots worked to repair this new round of damage.

The floor slick with blood she still managed to keep to her feet, even as she smeared it about with every shift in weight. I had no clue what she saw, or how well she processed the incoming data, so I decided I should treat her as gently as possible. I had no interest in getting stabbed today and I had no doubts she would if she truly felt threatened.

I raised my hands to show I had no intention of harming her.

She took one look at me and broke out into hysterical laughter, her eyes wide and full of disbelief. "Get the fuck away from me," she snarled, though her voice broke on the words.

Then Tony was at my side and the laughter faded away into horrified confusion. "Not real," she mumbled. The improvised weapon dropped from her hands, hitting the tile with a bright clang. She closed her eyes for a long moment, head shaking from side to side in utter denial of what her eyes had seen.

"Laurin?" Tony sounded heartbroken, desperately needing her to be all right, when it had become eminently clear she was so very far from it.

Her eyes snapped open, clearly not seeing anything in the room. "Not real," she repeated over and over as she sank to the floor. "Not real." She pulled her knees into her chest, sitting in her cooling blood and hid her face from us, arms wrapped tightly about her legs as she rocked back and forth, in utter denial of the reality before her.

I stepped forward intending to crouch down and console her. "Rinn."

She lifted her head for an instant and screamed, "Not real," at me, causing me to freeze in place. Clearly something had broken in her mind. I looked over my shoulder at Tony who stood there wide-eyed and worried as all get out, not sure how to help her.

Just then Bucky arrived, pushing his way through the wall of techs that had doubled when I wasn't looking. One holding a nasty looking syringe probably filled with a tranq to force a moment of calm on her.

"Zhelaniye," he whispered.

Her rocking stopped instantly and she cautiously lifted her head to gaze about the room blindly. "Soldat?" she questioned, perhaps her sanity more than anything else.

"Da," he agreed. He continued on in Russian, the words soft, the tone soothing. When he requested permission to approach she nodded and the moment he squatted down she unfolded and wrapped her arms about his neck, sobbing hysterically and smearing blood everywhere. He ignored the mess she made of his clothes and pulled her close, holding tight, one hand running up and down her back as he settled onto the floor and into marginally comfortable position. Though I doubted he'd care no matter how uncomfortable he felt. All he cared about right now was Laurin. She curled up in his lap and looked like little more than a small child even though she was nearly the same height as the man who stood next to me. "It's okay, babydoll, I've got you."

Tony shot me a look of pure frustration. "You could have mentioned he was in love with her."

Bucky hunched his back for a moment at the nasty tone, but continued his whispered words to Rinn in a mixture of English, Russian, and Romanian, the three languages they used most often with each other.

"I didn't know," I told Tony, keeping my voice soft, to not disturb Bucky's efforts at calming Laurin.

"Get out," Bucky ordered sotto voce, turning his head to look at us over his shoulder. "I'll get her settled, but I'll need a few."

Tony growled and ground his teeth, but snapped about, shooing the medical team out even as they protested, before him. I had the feeling I would be getting yelled at once in that hallway, but the truth was I hadn't known. It made sense, given the level of trust I'd just witnessed, but if they'd been in a relationship before she'd gone missing then I'd been completely unaware of it.

Now, I could admit to being a bit blind when it came to stuff like that, but I'm reasonably sure I would have noticed them sneaking off for a little quality time, which meant… which meant they hadn't known it either. Or at least hadn't admitted it to themselves, never mind each other.

"Rogers," Tony barked from out in the hall.

Bucky nodded to me. "I've got her."

I couldn't argue, since it certainly seemed that way from where I stood. She had tucked her face into the side of his neck, her breathing harsh and still full of soft sobs, her breath hitching in her chest every few seconds. She had thought I was a mirage, a fantasy conjured up by her mind, doubled when Tony stood next to me, because why would a scruffy Steve and Tony be together. Last she knew we could barely speak to each other even when working towards the greater good. Forced to use her as a third party mediator to pass on any message of real importance or value.

I could only imagine what had been going through her mind when she'd seen us. In her position I probably would not have believed either.

And then Bucky had walked in. His appearance essentially the same and calling her the pet name he given her the same day she'd returned that word to him.

So when he'd come in, calling her by a name only a few knew about, she had believed. Believed him as real. Unlike myself and Tony.

And I couldn't blame her.

I left them alone. It was the only thing to do.

~^~

 

Rinn refused to stay in that room. Not that anyone argued once I explained our stupidity on the matter. So, Bucky, with medical staff nearby helped Rinn get cleaned up and changed into some of her own clothes that Tony had brought from her suite here. The injuries she had given herself when she'd woken up, healed quickly proving her health to be nominal at the very least. Especially when she vehemently resisted both the feeding tube and the IV. She agreed to a protein shake and a gathering in the main living area.

She sat next to Bucky, his left hand about hers and settled atop her thigh. She looked like shit, skin still pale, eyes dull and with more than a hint of disbelief still buried within them.

"You look like hell, Steve."

Tony snorted, pausing his pacing for a second to grin at her. "Your observational skills have not suffered in the least."

I rubbed my chin, thinking that maybe I should have cleaned up a bit better before she woke up. She might not have reacted quite so poorly if I had looked the way she'd come to expect. "Gets cold in Austria this time of the year. Seemed like a reasonable solution."

Rinn managed a smile and tiny shake of her head, fingers squeezing tighter about Bucky's for an instant.

"Drinks? I could use one… or three." Tony headed for the bar, his stride a touch jerky, which, to me anyway, revealed his ongoing concern for her.

"Oh, for a shot of tequila," Rinn sounded serious, but she obediently sipped on her smoothie. Then she looked me in the eye. "How long have I been gone?"

"Almost six weeks," Bucky told her, leaning against her shoulder in an effort to ease the sting.

"Means I owe you a birthday party," Tony said with forced enthusiasm. "Maybe I can get Thor here, we can do the hammer challenge again."

"Tony," I admonished. She didn't need a party. Didn't need to be reminded that she'd lost so much in so short a time. I heard the glass in her hand creak ominoulsy. Bucky quickly plucked it from her grip before she accidentally crushed it and end up wearing that smoothie instead of drinking it.

"T… two months? Cyko? My family. Oh, god they must be so worried." Tears pooled in her eyes, but she wiped them away before they could fall.

"I told your Gramps we found you. Cyko has been helping and covering for your absence," I told her, hoping it would ease her worry instead of add to it. "I… I don't know that the rest of your family even knows you were missing. We kept it as quiet as as possible to not impact your business."

She pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapping her free arm around them, pulling in upon herself both physically and emotionally. "Good to know they give a flying fuck."

I had no reasonable response to that. Of all her family only Geoff had contacted me. The rest, including Lucas, who had been the one to ensure her capture, which she did not yet know about, hadn't even questioned her lack of appearances or press conferences or just video updates online. Now was not the time to tell her that bit of joyous news. "Laurin, I promise you we handled it as best we could. Finding you was more important for all of us."

Tony returned with a couple beers and double of scotch based on the smell. He handed Bucky and I the beers before settling into the seat across from Rinn. He sipped a this drink, looked at the expensive rug between his feet for a minute or two before lifting his head to meet her pain-filled eyes. "Feeling up to answering some questions?"

"Do you have to do that now?" Bucky grumbled, fully intending to protect her even from Tony and the necessities that needed to be dealt with.

"Buck, the sooner we have answers, the sooner we can make certain they don't come after her again."

She shuddered visibly at the suggestion she might end up in their hands again. "Who had me?"

"AIM. Who we thought had gone belly up when Killian died." Tony rolled the glass between his hands. "Think your TJ is up to running a major research company?"

Rinn barked in derisive laughter. "No way in hell. Playing the heavy and scouting for talent? That's where he excels." She shook from head to toe, though in fear or anger I had no clue. If ever the two were to meet again, I had the feeling TJ would not survive the encounter.

Bucky leaned over to whisper something in her ear, but she only shook more, her teeth practically chattering with the vibrations.

"Laurin, you okay?"

She shook her head. "Not by a long shot." She ran her hand through her hair, grimacing at the short locks.

"It'll grow back," Tony assured her, a cold comfort perhaps, but comfort nonetheless. "Why'd they want you?"

She closed her eyes, shivering at whatever memory had come forth first. "They kept wanting to know how I ended up like you." She waved at me and patted Bucky on the thigh. "Seemed to think I had been enhanced with a method similar to yours. I denied it, of course, but they wouldn't believe me. Especially since I'd managed to resist the chloroform and woke from the night-night shot way before I should have." She chuckled softly. "Who knew helping them test those new weapons would pay off so well." She looked right at Tony. "How did AIM get access to SHIELD tech?"

Tony scratched the back of his head. "I don't know. Perhaps when Natasha released the docs they accessed it?"

She shook her head. "FitzSimmons created that weapon after the fall. When SHIELD still functioned in the shadows and agents were being hunted down for suspicion of being Hydra. And those were night-night guns, not ICERS. Try again."

"For someone who slammed the door behind her when she left, you sure as hell know more than you should." He didn't seem upset, more impressed than anything.

"I left SHIELD, not my friends. You know that," her voice shook on the words, an unnecessary reminder of her unswerving loyalty to those who had earned it. And Tony had. Coulson, FitzSimmons and others still in SHIELD had.

I had.

"They had a mole at one point, perhaps he leaked or, more likely, sold the design," I suggested, since it would make the most sense.

"Or just recreated it. TJ seems to excel at copying other people's ideas." Bucky shrugged. "Occam's Razor."

"Huh," Tony muttered, "brains and beauty. I can see why she likes you." He rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Don't be an ass, Tony," she admonished, then attempted to get the conversation back on track. "When I fought back I got hurt and, let's just say, they were quite impressed with how quickly I healed."

Tony downed the remainder of his drink then surged to his feet. "I take it they verified this numerous times?"

The little color she had vanished as the blood drained from her face leaving her a scary shade of ghostly white. "That would be accurate."

"Rinn-"

"I only woke up during surgery once," she added, running over the top of my words with a shrug of her shoulders. "They didn't bother trying to knock me out after that." Her voice had gone flat, her eyes lifeless, the pain still too raw and near the surface. "And… and… they kept trying to figure out how… how I healed so fast. They cut me and watched my skin heal. They cut my hair and saw nothing. They took blood and tissue samples from everywhere. Most rather… invasive. I would heal, but the samples revealed nothing."

I had no idea what to say, how to comfort her. Tony stopped behind her and set a hand on her shoulder. She flinched at the unexpected contact then turned to rest her forehead against his arm. "We'll deal with this, I promise." He looked me right in the eye, challenging me to say a word against.

I simply nodded. "They won't touch you again."

"No, they won't," she agreed in a shaky voice, "I'd kill myself first."

"Don't say that," Bucky growled, voice raw and pained. "Don't even think that."

"For once I agree with you," Tony stated, sounding shocked at his own words.

"Tell me that when they cut off your finger while you watch," she snarled, surging upright and managing two terror fueled steps before her strength gave out.

I hastened to my feet to catch her. She tried to shove me away, but I held on, doing what I should have as soon as she had walked into the room. I hugged her tight and said, "I'm sorry. So, so sorry. I fucked up and you paid for it."

"Oh god, Steve. Why he'd do this? Why he give me to them?"

I knew the _he_ she meant. Her brother. The one who had insisted she had to be there after months of no contact whatsoever. At some point in time during her captivity she'd put the pieces together and come to the only logical conclusion. "Your family was threatened. It's not a good excuse, but I can understand doing what's necessary to protect family."

She punched me in the chest; the force decidedly lacking. She sobbed, her legs giving out, but instead of holding her up I simply sank to the floor with her. "You don't turn your back on family," she wailed, hands digging into the cloth of my shirt.

And I realized that the broken heart caused by her brother's betrayal had hurt her far worse than all the damage and pain she'd suffered at the hands of AIM. I tucked my head down and just held her, trying to make it clear with my continued presence that she would stay safe here.

Tony cleared his throat. "We'll give you two some space." I lifted my head to see the discomfort etched on his features. He had never been overly comfortable with situations like this so I didn't much blame him for his sudden need to run.

Rinn stiffened, head snapping about. "No. I don't want to be alone," she shouted hoarsely. Then her voice dropped to a near-whisper, "Please don't leave me alone."

In a flash of movement Bucky was there, head pressed into the back of hers. "Never again," he assured her. "We'll be here for you, Zhelaniye," he glanced up at Tony, "all of us."

Tony narrowed his eyes at Bucky, just a tiny bit impressed by that slick move he'd managed to pull off. No way Tony would hurt him now, though they would probably never be friends, but for Rinn, the Winter Soldier would be permitted to live out the remainder of his days without the threat of sudden violent death via repulsor beam hanging over his head.

Tony sighed heavily. "Can I not leave her alone by making certain she's protected?"

I pulled a wry grin from somewhere. "Of course."

Bucky, however, gave the man a bewildered look as he walked hurriedly away. "What the hell?"

Rinn hiccuped around the waning sobs. "S'okay. It's how he shows he cares. He's a mechanic, so he fixes things the only way he knows how." She turned to press her forehead against Bucky's, an odd gesture of comfort that had grown between them over the months.

"C'mon, babydoll, you need to sleep." He gently untangled her from me and carried her over to the expansive sofa and laid her down.

I managed to get vertical, noting the holes she'd torn into my shirt in her desperate emotional release. In the few steps it took to join them she had already all but passed out, her face blotchy with color, the red on her cheeks bright against the pale skin. I handed Bucky the nearest throw blanket which he tossed over her.

Then he ran his hand through his hair, deep concern etched on his features. "She's a fucking mess."

I couldn't help but agree. "Our mess, though."

"Like we were hers?"

I shook my head. We had never been her mess, yet she had taken it upon herself to fix it. Guess the time had come to repay her for that.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we have a guest appearance in this chapter. I could have put it in 'leave out all the rest', but the chapter fit better here.
> 
> Sorry this took so long, I've been side-tracked by a short that'll go live March 10th.

_Tony's POV_

 

" _Boss, Miss Rinn appears to be having another nightmare."_

I set down wrench and grabbed an already greasy towel to clean my hands on. I did little more than smear the dirt about and tossed it aside with a soft huff of irritation. "On screen."

A holographic display popped up over the nearest table with a view of her room. Not from cameras, but a revamped Ultron bot controlled by FRIDAY. A few had survived the destruction, incomplete models that I'd later rebuilt to give FRIDAY a body when I needed more hands on assistance than Dummy could provide. She already ran the suits, which were far more dangerous given the weapons, these metal bodies completely useless without the AI to control them.

Rinn had refused to go back to the medical level and the docs had agreed it would do more harm than good, so into her suite she went, though she spent little time there, always in the presence of at least one of us, as leaving her alone would either send her into panic attacks or to withdraw so completely that she damn near went catatonic.

Rationally she understood she was perfectly safe here at the Tower, that no one could get in or out without half the damn universe knowing about it, but currently her mind lacked the ability to be rational. She trusted only three of us here, the docs and nurses only permitted to do their job out of necessity.

She appeared to lay on the bed unmoving, but the readout from the 'bot told a different story. Heart rate and blood pressure noticeably elevated, adrenaline spiking as her mind created new scenarios to torture her with.

"Didn't she take the meds?"

" _Yes, but it would appear they are less effective than anticipated,"_ FRIDAY informed me.

"Well, she clearly has no clue what 'time release' actually means," I groused, with a head shake. She'd been failing utterly at sleeping. Passing out she had done with a scary regularity the last few days, but the docs wanted her to actually sleep, her body and mind needing the time to recover. She hadn't pulled off more than a few minutes without jerking awake due to some nameless terror her mind had dredged up from the depths and presented her with on a shiny, if blood-splattered, platter.

" _The doctor did say it might take a few attempts to find the correct mix."_

I rolled my eyes. FRIDAY should know better than to point out the obvious.

Rinn sat up suddenly, a shout of, "No," torn from her throat. An instant later she had shoved off the covers, surged out of the bed, and made a beeline straight for the door.

"Shit," I muttered. "See if you can keep her in there."

" _Aye, boss. I'll do what I can."_

I ran out the door and towards the nearest bank of elevators.

FRIDAY kept up a running commentary of what was happening with Rinn, none of it good. When FRIDAY tried to physically intervene by gently restraining her, she'd broken the damned 'bot.

I skidded to a halt outside the main door. I could hear FRIDAY talking to Rinn who seemed incapable of understanding that the AI was trying to help. "Unlock the door."

I heard it click and slipped inside in time to see Rinn rush out of the bedroom into the living area.

" _Boss, I don't believe she's actually awake."_

I agreed with that assessment, given the total lack of recognition in those green eyes. Yet, she knew exactly where she stood, tripped over nothing, bumped into none of the furniture as she made her way to the main door of the suite. "Laurin," I called softly, and she stopped dead, head turning to track my voice.

"Leave me alone." I expected a snarl of defiance, instead it came out as a pitiful plea.

FRIDAY stepped out of the bedroom, the robot missing an arm, the left shoulder joint shooting sparks that burned out before they landed on the hardwood of the floor, and sporting a selection of impressive dents smeared with blood. Rogers could snap these robots in two, and had, but Rinn should not have been able to do more than bruise her hands. Bloody them in this instance, both her knuckles and bare feet showing signs of having hit the hardened alloy more than once. Obviously she had felt more than a touch motivated.

I slipped between her and the door, hands up to show they were empty. "Easy there, crouching tiger, I just want to talk."

She proceeded to launch herself at me. I managed, barely, to avoid the fist thrown at my chin, only to have a foot to the side of my knee take me down. Somehow I flung my arm out and caught her by the ankle, sending her crashing to the floor. Well, it should have been crashing, she got loose incredibly fast and rolled up into a crouch, eyeing me warily.

I groaned and got to my feet. "Rinn-Tin-Tin, come on. You're safe, I swear it."

"Safe?" she echoed, the tone sneering, "I'll never be safe again." And with that she stood and bolted for the door.

"Tell me it's locked," I asked of FRIDAY.

" _Yes, boss, but I don't think it'll matter."_

One shoulder shove and two kicks later and the door flung itself across the hallway and into the far wall, then Rinn vanished through it.

I sighed heavily and rubbed a hand across my face, trying to ignore the shooting pain in my knee. "Where's she heading?"

" _Elevator. She hit about a dozen buttons. I let you know which floor she exits on_." FRIDAY paused, as if pondering her next words with great care. " _Should I send a team to intervene_?"

Meaning 'bots or suits. I hated that I would be forced to do this to Rinn, but the risk of her throwing herself off the building in an effort to escape her perceived captivity a serious possibility, especially in her current not really awake state. "Do it. And find Rogers and Barnes. Have them meet me wherever she ends up."

" _Yes, sir."_ FRIDAY sounded about as thrilled with doing that as I did with agreeing to do it, a decided risk since it could simply make the situation worse. " _She's gotten out at the common room."_

She always seemed to end up back there lately. Why, I had no clue other than it was the place she had spent the most time in when visiting the Tower and she knew it the best. "I'm on my way, just keep her from getting outside."

" _I'll do my best."_

The elevator seemed to take forever and I stepped out to see Rinn surrounded by a half dozen robots and one suit, all of them staying out of damage range while also keeping her within the circle they had created about her. I'd forgotten how sneaky she could be as she kept them moving in such a way it would eventually gain her access to the balcony door, not that FRIDAY would permit it. The circle got smaller and smaller until two of the 'bots were forced back against the glass walls, unable to go further without ceding the way to Rinn.

The instant she shifted to get the 'bots out of her way, the FRIDAY controlled suit moved in and grabbed both of Rinn's upper arms from behind. No way she could break out of that grip.

And she knew it.

She screamed and thrashed and then planted her feet, folded and heaved, surprising FRIDAY. The suit went up and over crashing onto its back, feet slamming into the thick glass, dual spiderwebs of cracks forming about the impact areas. The suit had released her partway through the flip so as to not injure her, and she stood there panting heavily, probably planning her next insane move.

" _Sir, she is extremely motivated_ ," FRIDAY informed me with worry in her tone, the AI actually fearing for Laurin at this point.

I jumped forward, taking advantage of her momentary distraction, spun her about, and wrapped my arms around her. Not to restrain her, but the one thing she would never expect: a hug. She struggled for a long moment, wailing to be left alone, the terror in her voice causing my heart to ache in sympathy.

"Shhh, you're safe. I'm here."

I knew the instant she actually woke up, her legs suddenly giving out and dragging us both down to the floor as she burst into tears.

"What the hell?"

I turned to see Barnes skid to halt halfway across the room, staring at the mess with wide eyes. He wore workout clothes that had been darkened with sweat. "Good of you to join the party."

FRIDAY backed the 'bots out of the way, the suit joints grinding loudly in the quiet room as it got back to its feet. Instead of moving away, it shifted and placed itself in front of the balcony doors, wisely not trusting that, while now awake, Rinn had lost her interest in escaping.

The gray t-shirt she had worn to bed now had my greasy handprints on it, which seemed fair given she had returned the favor with blood from her broken open knuckles. She hung on me, shaking in my arms, but not crying this time, just panting in confusion and exhaustion. She hadn't slept for more than a few minutes since waking a few days ago, which is why she had relented and tried the drugs.

The results less than stellar. She'd had successfully slept maybe two hours, resulting in yet more nightmares, with the added bonus of a violent sleepwalking episode.

Barnes came to stand in front of us. "What happened?" he asked in a soft voice.

Rinn only flinched a little.

"Just a little incident. She's fine." It came out gruffer than I intended. It had apparently taken a genius to realize the two of them had somehow fallen for each other, though neither seemed to be willing to admit it. I would never forgive him, but the fact that she saw something in him, something good, made me willing to give him a chance.

For her sake.

Not his.

Never his.

"Nightmares again?"

I stroked my hand up and down her back, feeling the tremble in every muscle. "With a dash of sleepwalking for added flavor."

"Zhelaniye?"

She turned her head to look up at him. "Da, Soldat." She shuddered. "They keep coming for me and I can't get away."

Barnes's eyes flicked to mine. "They can't get to you here," he assured her.

"They can get me anywhere," she argued, her entire body going tense.

"Well, if you jump off the building it won't matter will it?"

Barnes shot me a look full of distress as the reality of what she had tried to do sank in.

"Laurin, babydoll, I… we won't let them near you." The concern is his voice surprised me. The stone cold killer of my parents truly cared about the woman between us at least as much as I did and he'd only known her a few months.

"You can't stop them," she barked, pulling away from me and trying to get to her feet. She made it about halfway up then folded, falling right into Barnes's arms. "If they want me, they'll get to me."

"Not here," I told her, shifting in a vain attempt to ease the ache in my knee. "FRIDAY-"

"FRIDAY is just a computer. She can be hacked. Your suits can be overridden. It might be more challenging, but _they can get to me_."

I sighed. "Yeah, they can, but they won't, not here."

"Why not?" she groused. "You think they're afraid of you? Afraid of retaliation? How have we hurt them?"

"Do you want to hurt them?" Barnes questioned, sounding odd, like maybe the Soldier lurked behind those eyes.

"Don't you? How many others like me might their be? What if they're the ones who took the maps? What if they figured out-"

"Stop," I told her. "I'm working on it. Anything about you will be permanently excised."

"Everything all right?"

I snapped my head about to see Captain America himself finally make his grand entrance. Decked out in a warm hoodie, gloves, and a beanie pulled down low enough to disguise his features. Though the scruffy beard and ragged mustache did the job pretty damn well on their own. At a guess he'd been burning off some energy with a midnight run even though snow currently fell from the darkened sky. His eyes flicked over the room, taking in the various 'bots, the suit standing next to damaged glass. Me and the Winter Soldier on the floor with a broken Rinn, blood still staining her hands and feet red, the wounds healed, the blood drying.

"Bad dream," I informed him.

"And the broken window?"

"She beat up a suit," Barnes answered, nodding at the darkened armour standing near where it had been taken down.

Rogers's eyebrows shot up as he pulled the beanie off and tucked the gloves inside. He knew how heavy the damn things were. Hell, he'd broken one himself recently and it hadn't been easy for a pair of super soldiers. For Rinn to even lift one, no matter how motivated… It made my theory far closer to reality, an ability she hadn't explored simply because she hadn't thought herself capable.

No wonder she had been drawn to them, she had more in common with those two than any of us had suspected. I really needed to do a full genetic comparison of the three of them, figure out what exactly made them so damn special and better than the rest of us. "I'm fine, by the way. Though ice for the knee might be a good idea in the near future."

I struggled upright, the knee aching horribly, but seemed to be functional.

"Did I do that?" Rinn asked meekly, twisting in Barnes's arms to look up at me.

I nodded. No point in denying the truth. "In your defense you weren't exactly awake."

"Awake enough," she mumbled, then to Barnes. "Do me a favor?"

He hesitated for a second. "Sure?"

"Hit him," she pointed at me, "hard. With your left hand."

I blinked. Eyes going wide, since I knew exactly the kind of damage that would do to me. He'd damn near ripped the arc reactor out of that suit with his bare, metal hand. "Uh, why?"

Her eyes narrowed. "You called me Rinn-Tin-Tin. I loathe that nickname."

Rogers snickered and she shot him a deadly look.

"The World War I dog?" Barnes questioned sounding confused. "Became a movie star?"

"Exactly," Steve confirmed with a sharp nod.

I sighed. She didn't understand. The nickname not intended as derogatory, not by any stretch of the imagination. The dog, the film and TV version anyway, a hero, an unintended one, but one nonetheless. I hadn't been kidding when I'd suggested she had a hero complex as big as Rogers. She did. She just fought it tooth and nail, channeling her energy into her work. I remembered her time with SHIELD. She'd jumped out of a damn 'jet, trusting me to catch her in mid-air and she hadn't batted an eye.

Not normal by any stretch of the imagination and went double for someone who claimed to be nothing more than the owner of a 'gaming company'. I knew she had adrenaline junkie tendencies, kinda liked her for them, but she'd been in her element running ops with the team, fitting in well, just another cog in the superhero wheel.

Hell, it hadn't been until that third op that we'd figured out she had been enhanced. A minor fuck up on our part forcing her to reveal that she was more than capable of taking care of herself and watching our backs when needed.

I could remember the sound of utter greed in Nat's voice when informed of Rinn taking down three well armed terrorists without batting an eye or breaking a sweat and still managing to get the hack done.

"He means it as a compliment, I think," Steve told her, tossing sideways glances in my direction.

I gave him a sharp nod of confirmation. At least someone understood.

"Well, if you dropped the sneering tone maybe I wouldn't hear you calling me a _bitch_ every time you use it." She suddenly yawned hugely, sagging Barnes's hold.

"You need to sleep," I told her.

She shook her head vehemently. "No, I'll be fine." She attempted to straighten, but her legs refused to hold her up. At a guess the meds were actually still working, relaxing her and encouraging her to venture back to the Land of Nod, but her mind refused to quiet and forcing her to imagine her current worst nightmare.

Rogers got that sappy sad look on his face. "You need sleep to heal," he reminded, tone gentle.

She shook her head even as Barnes scooped her up in his arms and stood. She shot a glare at him, but didn't argue. She grumbled under her breath then rested her head on his shoulder, nose pressed into the side of his neck.

"I'll stay with you. Just need to grab a shower first."

She sighed softly, her body relaxing at his nearness. Why? Why the fuck had she chosen him? Even Rogers would be preferable to her picking the son of a bitch who'd murdered my parents. I swallowed down my ire. Her needs more important than mine right this moment.

"No, I like the way you smell," she lilted, eyes fluttering shut for long seconds as Morpheus tried to reach out and drag her down into slumber. "All strength and power that's just a little bit broken."

"Huh," I muttered, but she'd made me curious and, while perhaps a bit unfair given her current condition, I wondered about how she saw me with this particular filter in place. "And me?"

"Like mechanics oil, and safety." Her eyes opened for an instant, the green bright in the dim light of the room, but for all that I remained certain she saw me.

"And Rogers?" I had to, had to know what the hell she saw in him.

"Hope," she answered instantly, "and sacrifice and blood." She sighed softly, her body becoming loose in his arms. "He'll save us all one day."

Rogers stiffened at her proclamation, his eyes narrowing as he watched her warily.

"Let's get her to bed," I suggested, deferring probing deeper into her commentary for the time being. Half-asleep or not her words had struck home.

Barnes shook his head. "We'll stay out here." He walked over to the nearest couch and settled down on it with her still in his arms. "She keeps ending up out here anyway."

Steve forced a chuckle, the amusement lacking in his eyes and posture. "Need anything?"

"Water. My tablet." He shifted Rinn about until his thigh did the job of pillow for her who huffed in complaint until he set a gentle hand on her head, fingers trailing along her cheekbone.

She grumbled softly then settled, her breathing deepening as she slipped back under.

"I was avoiding sleeping by hitting things. I have work I can do instead."

"Done." Steve leaned over the back of the couch and set a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. The look on his face worrisome to my eyes. "I'll stay with her tomorrow night."

"She needs to learn to sleep alone," I reminded the two of them. How often had she told me the same thing.

"Not arguing that, but she isn't ready and she only feels safe with the three of us, so we'll take turns." His eyes held challenge in them, waiting to see if I would balk at sharing a bed… or sofa with Laurin.

"You are presuming she's willing to sleep with me." She never had before, I didn't see her starting now. And he clearly picked up on the envy buried within my voice.

"This isn't about you," he stated in a calm voice. "We'll leave if you prefer."

I stiffened. I knew this wasn't all about me. And… and… she hadn't slept with me when I'd been at my worst because I'd been with Pepper and Rinn would not step on toes if she could help it. The two of them friends by association only. Getting along well enough, but too similar in some ways to ever become really close, and Pepper could be… jealous when it came to me and relationships with other women. Yes, there had been a time I would have taken Rinn to bed without hesitation and then left her behind like so many others.

Thank god I hadn't. We'd actually become friends instead and I wouldn't trade that for anything. There hadn't been a real reason to sleep with me after Pepper. Yes, in my mind there was a definite timeline of Before Pepper, With Pepper, and After Pepper, each marked by a great change in my life.

The most recent one perhaps the hardest of all.

And After Pepper I had tried to turn to Rinn for solace, but she had, not refused so much as convinced me I did not require the comfort she could grant. Of course by that point she'd been off playing runaway Avenger with Rogers and company. Cuddling up with Captain America as his needs demanded.

It still hurt, but I had come to understand it hadn't been about hurting me, but helping Rogers.

When I really needed someone, she had been there with what would be most useful, be it a hug or a well deserved bitch slap. I'd been deserving both over the last few months.

And now _she needed me_. In a way I had never truly needed her. Watching over her as she slept did not necessarily mean curling up in a bed with her, though I had to wonder if it would help. Could my presence, mechanics oil and safety, actually permit her the sleep she must have to get well, and keep the horrors of her mind at bay.

I truly didn't know, but I was more than willing to find out.

Rogers knew when I'd found the answer before I did. He clapped a hand on my shoulder. "She trusts you Tony, you mean more to her than you think."

I looked up at him. "Why, though? Why does she give a damn about any of us?"

A look of consternation crossed his features. "Not a clue, but I'm thankful she does."

I snorted. "You're no help."

"We'll figure this out, Tony. All of it."

So serious. So sincere. So certain the rift between us could be mended. I glanced over to where Rinn lay, convinced that none of this would have come about without her. She had become the catalyst, the missing ingredient that could bridge the gap and complete this complex chemical formula that we called the Avengers

We would always be better with her. Even Fury had recognized her value, though he had understood it no better than the rest of us.

"Not without her."

He nodded slowly. "Not without her."

~^~^~^~^~

_Steve's POV_

 

She had two laptops and a tablet going at the same time. Her choice in avoidance the last few days to bury herself in work. She had a blanket draped over her crossed legs, though she still had a nasty case of bed head that might actually be post-shower head. Her dislike of her current hairstyle evident in her failure to care about how it looked. Two discarded glasses formerly filled with high protein smoothies sat on the coffee table she hunched over.

While not overly thrilled with her current mindset she hadn't tried to beat her way out of the building since that night. Instead, when conscious she'd buried herself in work. Coding of some sort. She wouldn't talk to us about it, just grunted and glared until we stopped making unintelligible noises at her.

For all I knew she had been hacking into AIM servers in an effort to break them.

So I just sat nearby, tablet in hand doing work for Nomad. So far Wanda and Sam had been able to handle the trainees without any real issues. Tony had been assisting Hattie with the attempts to get into the Cyko server, though they had yet to track down the who behind it.

I had taken just enough time out of my babysitting duties to turn myself back into a human being. Availing myself of Tony's barber. Since New York didn't exactly have warm winters either I'd only gotten the crazy homeless man hair tamed, not removed. The beard now neat and close to the face, enough to keep me warm without making Rinn's eyes go wide every time she looked at me. The hair the same treatment. Longer than it had been in years, but far more familiar to Bucky than the short, modern cut I had been sporting when we'd found him.

I wanted take Rinn home, well Austria, in hopes being back to the familiar would help, but the mere mention of it would cause all the blood to drain from her face and for her body to begin to shake violently. A woman, who a few months ago would have probably base jumped off this building if dared to, now afraid to leave it. Granted it hadn't even been a week since she'd woken up, the obvious wounds having healed, but those under the surface, those buried in her mind clearly still twisting her perspective of even normal day to day activities. These floors were essentially private, but there were indeed those who worked here. Keeping the place clean and stocked and general maintenance. The building supported a massive staff, especially given it acted as a secondary home base for the Avengers. The focus had shifted to the Compound in northern New York state, but Tony still did a lot of R&D here.

He'd banned the majority of the staff from the top floors because of his visitors, not wanting it to get out that Steve Rogers and James Barnes could be found under his roof. Ross would flip his shit, as Rinn would say, and I could very well find myself as a guest at the Raft.

Or someplace worse since I'd already proven I could break that particular prison so easily.

I had to wonder what would be worse.

Being ambered, probably. Or put into cryo.

Those would be quite effective at keeping me contained.

I would, therefore, endeavor to avoid those options.

I glanced down at the tablet and realized I'd scrolled through several pages without having read a single word while lost in thought. I sighed softly and reversed the scrolling to find where I had left off.

A gasp from Rinn made me snap my head up, worry already churning in my gut.

"What did you do to your hair?" she whispered hoarsely, staring past me with a look of stunned horror on her face.

I glanced behind me to see Bucky standing there.

Bucky.

Not the Winter Soldier.

The long hair gone.

The scruff that had adorned his face for months now shaved clean.

The clothes new. A tight white t-shirt, black, close fitting jeans, and black leather boots that I'd seen a lot of hard core bikers wear.

He looked so fucking young.

And the instant of pain in his eyes made me aware that Rinn's reaction had not been the expected one. He ran a hand through the short locks, the cut damn near identical to the one he'd worn during the war. The girls back then always wanting to play with his hair, digging their hands in deep when he really kissed them, and at other times certainly.

Sharon had commented on my longer hair, an odd edge in her tone, but the length had been the least of my concerns at the time. I'd found a few moments of distraction and release in her arms, then gone right back to looking for Rinn.

Sharon hadn't been thrilled with my obsession, but claimed she'd understood. She liked Rinn, and cared about me enough to worry about my missing friend. I owed Sharon so much that I doubted I could ever repay her at this point.

Rinn whimpered, dropped the tablet into her lap, and shut her eyes, heels of her hands coming up to press against her eyelids with far too much force.

Bucky rushed past me and knelt on the floor by her knees, looking up at her before I even began to move.

He set her tablet aside and gently pulled her hands away away from her face, but she refused to open her eyes. "Doll, it's okay. It's still me."

She shook her head, the movement echoing down through her body, until she shuddered violently. I watched the colors on his left arm shift, the metal growing darker and duller until it settled on a deep red bordering on black.

I suspected the color changes to be unplanned and knew it happened when he lost emotional control. Rinn being upset affected him. Not surprising given their personal connection, both of them in denial or not. I put my tablet down and leaned forward, watching her with all due care. "Rinn, you've seen pictures of him from the war-"

The strangled sound from the back of her throat cut my efforts at pacifying her off cold and Buck glanced over his shoulder at me, a look of consternation on his face.

"Laurin, you have to talk to us if we're going to help you." Bucky kept his voice calm and quiet, not wanting to spook her.

She had a bad habit of heading for doors that lead to balconies when spooked. FRIDAY kept them locked, but that wouldn't necessarily stop her when motivated… or panicking.

She slowly opened her eyes, but refused to look at Bucky, didn't seem to see anything in the room at all, still not able to process the new data set.

"Shit," I muttered, suddenly understanding her issue. When she'd first woken up my visage had not at all resembled that of the man she had known for years. She hadn't believed me to be real. And we'd made it worse with Tony being by my side, as she'd been unaware of the truce we'd agreed to for her sake.

Then Bucky had shown up, long hair, five o'clock and then some shadow on his cheeks, matching the image of him she had in her mind. She had clung to that memory and him with a desperation everyone else could feel.

And now… now the one thing she had been certain of had changed.

Her mind once again hesitant if the world about her was real or just another dream it had conjured up in an effort to escape the misery she'd been forced to endure.

She flinched at my epithet, Bucky frowning at me.

He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger of his metal hand, and encouraged her to look at him. "What do you see?"

She tried to close her eyes, but a tap with his forefinger on the underside of her chin discouraged her.

"Words, darlin', you need to use 'em now."

"You cut your hair," she stuttered out. She reached out to run her fingers through the shortened locks.

"Yes. _I_ cut my hair."

The clear emphasis on the I, caused her eyes to widen.

" _I_ cut my hair. Do you realize how long it's been since I've been able to make that kind of decision?"

She shook her head no for an instant, then quickly switched to a nod of yes. "Too long."

He released her chin and tapped her on the nose. "Exactly. I can't explain why today after all these months, but it was _my choice_. Mine and mine alone. Do you have any idea how freeing that is? To have control over your own life?"

"No," she answered, voice raw. Both of us fully aware of how little control she felt she had right now even though she indeed had all of it. Not one of us would force her to do anything, and that included jumping off the building with or without a chute. We would try to stop her, talk her out of it, or, if left no other option, catch her when she fell.

I had begun to worry that catching her would become a necessity to make her way past this.

"I've been out of Hydra's control for a few years and yet I couldn't bring myself to cut my hair for fear of punishment." He tipped his head down for a long moment, the hair no longer hiding his profile from me, his lips twisting in a half smile as he pondered his next words. "You gave me that. You got them out of my head. Gave me the opportunity to make my own choices again. And today I chose to do this." He gestured at his hair. "I'm sorry you don't like it-"

"I didn't say that," she blurted out. "I just… I wasn't expecting it is all." She turned to me, a look of confusion in her eyes.

"Yes, he's real," I assured her.

"Thank god," she muttered under breath.

"Doll?" He lifted his head to look her in the eyes.

"Cognitive dissonance," she explained.

"Ah," he replied. "I feel like I should say sorry."

She shook her head and cupped his face in both hands. "No. Never. Your life, your choices. Always." She leaned forward to set her forehead against his, eyes drifting shut. "I'm still a little screwy in the head."

"A little?" escaped from me, my mouth speaking before my brain had a chance to actually think about what I should say.

Bucky chuckled softly, sitting back on his heels, waiting to see her reaction. "We're all a little screwy in the head. Yours is just still on the surface. You haven't had a chance to bury it deep, yet."

She gave us a grim smile, cocked her head, eyes narrowing and I tensed waiting for the storm about to break upon us. "Bury it? Like you do? How many notebooks have you filled? How many nights do you give up on sleep after only a couple hours, even if it's been weeks since you last slept?" Her focus switched to me. "How many nights do you stay awake going over every mistake you've ever made in an effort to change a past that can't be? How many times have you destroyed a heavy bag or punched a wall when the memories won't let you go?" She sat back, laughter, hysterical, bitter laughter bubbling up and over the edge, the anger and disbelief at our arrogance twisting her features into a caricature of itself. "Find one of us who can say they've buried their horrors deep enough to not feel them every moment of every day."

"Clint," I answered without having to think about it for an instant.

She barked in laughter. "Oh, you'd be so wrong about that. What Loki did to him?" She shook her head. "You may have all forgiven him, but he never will." Then she reached out to run her fingers along Bucky's cheek, her tone and look softening. "Clint is why I know you will never be prosecuted for what you've done. No matter how much you want to be."

I twitched at that. He wanted to pay for his crimes? Wanted to play the poster boy for Hydra? I could understand, a little anyway. Wanting to repent, to fix what he could, but going to prison for all of eternity would never be the right way to accomplish that. "Buck?"

He turned to meet my eyes and shrugged slightly. "Not so much any more. You guys have pretty much convinced me of that. 'Sides, not like they'd just torture me, right?"

No, they would take him apart, piece by piece in a failing effort to duplicate what Hydra had done. They'd take his arm off to dissect and reverse engineer, using what they learned to build better soldiers, taking away their humanity in the process. Might as well bring Ultron back and let him finish the damn job. Might be better for everyone.

Then I realized that she had expertly changed the subject. "Laurin, it will get easier."

She closed her eyes hands clenching into fists, knuckles white, nails surely cutting into her palms. "Stop telling me that, please," her voice cracked on the words, the tone pitiable. She'd been broken so badly and remained convinced she always would be.

Bucky looked at me obviously distressed and uncertain what to do. We'd just gotten her back, though it had become apparent that part of her still remained stuck in that hell she'd been trapped in. "When did you give up?" I asked her.

Her eyes snapped open to stare at me, horrified that I'd figured it out. "A… about a week after the first surgery. I hadn't eaten in days, could feel everything I was just being sucked away by the 'bots. I gave up on the snarky replies, the sarcasm, the flippant responses. No one was listening and no one was coming for me."

Bucky grasped one of her hands and squeezed, we could both see the pain and the resignation in her eyes.

"Instead of looking for ways to escape, I looked for ways to end it."

Bucky shivered, while I felt my stomach drop in utter dismay.

"Some of the cuts on me weren't from them. They kept me restrained much better after I got ahold of a scalpel and cut my throat."

"Fuck," Bucky muttered.

My heart dropped to my stomach. "Rinn, we were looking. We-"

"I know. Knew you wouldn't stop until you found me, or what had happened to me anyway. But I couldn't take it any longer. And didn't want them to have any more of me than they already did."

Bucky shifted to sit next to her, arm wrapping about her shoulders and drawing her close. She trembled in his hold, though in relief or fear I couldn't be certain. She looked ready to bolt, to run for the proverbial hills should we say or do the wrong thing.

He leaned in and softly said, "You're safe now. I swear it."

She shook harder then continued her tale that felt far more like a punishment, a smacked upside the head reality check to remind us that she had a reason for still being so fucked up. "So I ran away the only way I could, in here." She tapped her temple with a finger. "They made it easy given they'd decided I wasn't worth the effort to maintain, my body feeding on itself to repair the damage they inflicted daily."

She leaned into Bucky's chest, head tipping down and tears falling off her cheeks onto his shirt. He pressed his face into the top of her head looking as distraught as I felt. "Babydoll…"

She sobbed softly, not for the first time since she'd woken up here at the Tower. Though this felt different. Perhaps finally venting emotions she'd probably been afraid to examine too closely for fear of going more mad than she already believed she had. I got up sat on her other side, after moving her tablet to the coffee table with the pair of laptops.

"Rinn-"

She shifted faster than I expected, burying her face in my chest, Bucky's hand shifting to rest on her back so that she knew he still remained nearby. I wrapped my arms about her, remembering the last time she'd been this broken and hating it. I kissed her on the top of her head, all the regrets I had about this whole mess rising to the surface and forcing me to face them here and now. We'd fucked up so badly and this redressing it after the fact just wouldn't cut it.

"How the hell do we fix this?" Bucky asked of me sotto voce.

I shook my head. As usual I had no clue.

We stayed silent for the few minutes it took for Rinn to get a hold of herself. The sobs fading to deep breaths as she endeavored to get her emotions back under control. When she finally decided to sit up, I let her, taking the time to cup her face in my hands, thumbs brushing the last of the tears away and look her over with a gimlet eye. Hers red and puffy, but clear for the first time in days. She sniffled loudly, not appearing to be too thrilled with her current even more disheveled than usual condition. I glanced about for the box of tissues we'd kept handy only to see them over on the pool table and well out of reach.

Bucky had it covered though, as he shifted and dug into his front pocket coming up with handkerchief. "Here," he said, holding it out for her to take.

Rinn broke out in soft laughter. "God, I hate both of you so much right now." Still, she took the square of white cloth and wiped at the tears still staining her pale face.

"Yeah, well I'm pretty sure we hate you just as much." His hand on her back still tracing up and down her spine.

She tipped over onto his shoulder. "Sorry, about that. Steve's a bit more used to my meltdowns."

He shook his head at her. "Hey, I get it." He looked over her head at me. "Not like I want this pretty new shirt all wet and snotty anyway."

As he hoped she growled in mock anger. "You'll get your turn soon," she assured him.

"I hope so," he replied in quiet serious voice that damn near startled me. He met my eyes over the top of her head, daring me to say one word.

I shook my head ever so slightly, not about to complain that he'd found someone to care about, but it would come with a cost. I knew that. I had lived that time and time again. This life could be a hard one on the good days, trying to balance all the delicate pieces and moving parts to get to that hoped for sunset to walk into…

Well, in general, heroes died a glorious death, not peacefully in their beds surrounded by their loved ones after a long life. No, we died bloody on the battlefield, those about us loved ones of another sort, friends, compatriots, partners, but instead of the soft susurrus of that final breath, we left this life with screams and battle cries and explosions ringing in our ears.

I didn't want that for Rinn. Didn't want her to be a war bride, or worse a war widow.

And I should have realized it much sooner.

Now it looked to be too late. Even if Bucky agreed with me, which he probably would even given the sudden cracking of the ongoing denial, she had insinuated herself into our lives and hearts and we would not be able to let her go easily, if at all.

Oh, we could chase her away, make her hate us so much she would never lift a finger to assist us ever again, but…

Yeah, but.

We would miss her.

Terribly.

Horribly.

For all of eternity.

So, with chasing her away clearly not an option we needed to figure out how to include her in our lives without making her a causality of them.

"You need a nap," I told her.

She sat up and turned to me, defiance in her posture. "Uh, no, I need to get back to work." She waved at the table covered in electronics. "You may need a nap after crying, but I don't."

Bucky snickered. "That's my girl, more balls than Captain America."

I rolled my eyes and huffed out a breath. "Rinn-"

"Seriously, Steve, I'm fine and I need to get this code out of my head." She shifted a bit more, comfortably fitting under Bucky's arm. "I appreciate all you guys have done, but there's a whole world out there that needs you." She hooked a thumb over her shoulder at the huge windows revealing an amazing view of the New York skyline from in the middle of it. "Nomad has clients and trainees you should be with."

"Then come home," Bucky told her. He'd been wanting to get back to Austria as much as I had.

She shook her head, only paling a tiny bit this time, but noticeable enough in the lighting of the room. "Docs want me here for at least another week."

"Then we're staying another week. Sam and Wanda have it handled. If there's a major crisis that needs our attention he will contact us." In fact Sam had kept insisting we stay until Rinn had been deemed well, but if something were going on over in his end of the world he made certain to keep me in the dark. "How about something to eat then?"

She scrunched up her face, clearly wanting to say no, but fully aware I would balk if she did so. "Depends on what, I s'pose," she answered grudgingly at best.

"Wonton soup from Antonio's," I suggested, knowing she was bored as hell of the protein shakes, but not quite up for chateau briand and haricort verts.

"Wait? Antonio's is still around? _The_ Antonio's?" Bucky sounded so hopeful that I couldn't stop the laughter if I wanted to.

"Yes, _The_ Antonio's. Same recipes and everything. Current owner is the the great-great-granddaughter of the original, but still around," I assured him and watched as his eyes lit up in sheer joy. "And, yes, you can get something too."

His smile wavered. "Aren't they across town?" He shook his head. "Too risky, we could get caught."

Rinn snickered. "James, we now have this magical process where people will bring you things if you give them money. I believe it's called _delivery_."

He sighed heavily probably feeling like a fool. "Yeah. I guess that'll work."

I stood and handed her the tablet. "I'll order, anything you want now?"

She set the tablet on her knees and looked up at me. "Tea?" she requested tentatively.

"Hot or iced?"

"Or long island," Bucky tossed in like a smart ass.

She elbowed him and he gave her a fake _oof_ of pain, which made her smile and shake her head at his silliness. "Hot, that jasmine I know is stashed somewhere. Tony keeps handing me cups of it for some reason."

"Done." I looked her over, still pale, with color high on her cheeks, but better. Coping as best she could given the situation. Her recovery slower than I liked, but not having endured the specific tortures she had gone through, even with her rather vivid descriptions to go by, I had no way of truly understanding how challenging this had been for her. I had gotten used to her being resilient, so part of me had expected her to be well on her way to recovery by now, and not still the broken shell that sat before me.

"What?" she grumbled after several long minutes of my silent staring at her.

"Nothing," I told her, lying through my teeth.

She tipped her head to the side, lips twitching as if she wanted to argue the point, but instead let it slide. "Food. This one's practically salivating at the thought of Antonio's." She patted Bucky on the thigh causing him to nod vigorously in agreement.

I sighed, wanting to get her to talk more, but knew she would avoid it, unwilling to show any more weakness today.

"What are you working on?" Bucky asked her as she woke the tablet up.

I pulled out my phone to make that call, wandering over to the bar to see if that tea had been hidden there, and if not, ask FRIDAY where Tony had been getting it. I hoped like hell he hadn't been having it delivered straight from Shenzhen for her.

As I watched she shifted until resting back against his chest, the blanket draped across both of them, his head snuggled up right next to hers. She might cry on my shoulder, but for a moment of quiet comfort and companionship she turned to him every time. When he permitted it anyway.

"I had a revelation," she informed him, an odd tone in her voice.

"About?" he prompted when she let the suspense to hang for too long.

"The VR/AR live tracking. I know how to fix the lag issues." You could hear in her voice that she had wandered away from reality and deep into her mind.

"Can I see?"

She tapped the tablet a few times, most likely bringing up the code she'd been working on for the last several hours. The two laptops came to life as well, giving visuals of the code, live results of the work, though how I had no clue. Tony must have supplied her with some serious processing power for her to manage this.

An employee answered the phone and I found myself fully immersed in placing a huge order of food. Enough for two super-soldiers, Rinn and Tony, who I hadn't seen in hours, which meant he had either actually fallen asleep or had buried himself in one of the labs tinkering with… something. Not like he told me what he worked on these days. Then again he had never answered to me, even when I had lived here and ostensibly been in charge of the Avengers.

Order complete I shoved the phone back into my pocket, and began searching for the tea. I gave up rather quickly. "FRIDAY, where has Tony been getting that jasmine tea for Rinn?"

" _He's been having it delivered from the Nom Wah Tea Parlor. Shall I arrange for a cup to be brought by for Miss Rinn?_ "

I sighed softly. "There's no tea bags here?"

" _I'm afraid not, Mr. Rogers. The blend is apparently a proprietary one_."

"How long? And can we get a pot of it?"

_"Fifteen minutes and yes."_

The food wouldn't be here for at least an hour so I suspected fifteen minutes for tea would do. "Do it. Thanks, FRIDAY."

_"Of course, sir. I'll let you know when it arrives."_

I turned back to Bucky and Rinn, who had clearly fallen down a rabbit hole that masqueraded as a technical discussion.

He had the tablet in his hands, scrolling through the incomplete code. "Your compression rate is amazing."

"Trade secret. Not even Tony knows the details."

Bucky nodded in agreement. "Good plan. Huh, it looks like you've made the tracking passive, making it much more organic and natural, which increased the response time as a byproduct."

She twisted about to look him right in the eye. "You can read my code?"

He nodded. "Well, sort of. It's unique. I can ferret out the broad strokes. This is completely different from other tracking algorithms."

Her eyes went wide. "Yes, it is. Epiphanies generally work that way. Just ask Tony." She took the tablet back. "Might be the one good thing to come out of this mess." She shifted about to tuck herself back under his arm. He kissed her on the top of her blonde head.

It seemed the opportune moment to intrude. "Food'll be here in about an hour. Tea, ten minutes." I sat back down in the chair I had vacated.

"Cool. Thanks, Steve." She gave me a wan smile then focused back on the computers.

Bucky watched her create code for a few minutes then glanced over at me, the worry plain in his eyes. He wanted to say something about her, but not with her sitting practically on top of him. I gave him a tiny, hint of a nod, signalling we'd find a quiet corner to discuss our concerns later. "Who's on for tonight?"

"Tony," Bucky answered, "though I can take it if he's buried under work."

"I'll just be writing code, doesn't matter. I can sit in the lab with him," she muttered distractedly, focused on the work before her once again.

I wanted to argue, but Bucky shot me a look that stopped me cold.

FRIDAY flashed an alert on my tablet letting me know the tea had arrived. "I'll be right back." I stood, leaving the tablet on the arm of the chair, getting a response from Buck, but little more than a grunt from Rinn. Keeping her connected to reality would be a challenge until she finished coding. Not unusual, but worrisome in her current state of mind. She'd already gotten lost in her head once in recent memory, it could easily happen again.

I headed to the elevator thinking about Rinn, the floor I needed to get off on to meet the delivery already programmed in by FRIDAY. It wouldn't be the lobby; too risky for me to be seen in the Tower. Probably some neutral floor Tony had chosen to conduct business that was neither Stark Industries or Avengers related.

Hell, there were days I could see in Rinn's eyes that she remained unsure all of this, her rescue and subsequent awakening at the tower, to be real. Her connections to us, me, Bucky, Tony tenuous at best, especially since last she knew we hadn't really been speaking to one another. Admittedly, Tony had granted us the use of the Tower a few months ago, but he'd avoided all contact at that time.

Rinn had brought us together, using that term very loosely. Tony avoided us where he could, interacting with Bucky only when absolutely necessary. With Rinn he did everything he could. Tempting her with treats, interrupting his work to spend time with her. Of all of us Tony seemed to have connected with Rinn the most, hating that she'd taken our side, but desperately happy she would spend time with him. Aside from Rhodey I didn't know if he had any other friends.

He had co-workers and employees, but friends?

He'd had me. Still had me whether or not he wanted to believe it. Our friendship still cracked and broken, probably beyond repair. No matter words spoken in the proverbial heat of the moment. But I couldn't sign the Accords. I wouldn't permit Bucky to be arrested and tried for crimes he'd been forced to commit.

We couldn't do this just because of Rinn, it wouldn't be enough, could never be enough to hold us together. And since coming here we had not spoken a single word that did not involve the care and feeding of our favorite gaming geek.

And I hated that.

We'd never gotten along perfectly, probably never would, but I had been able to call him friend and mean it every single time. He had taken the time to get to know me as opposed to idealized version his father had apparently spoken incessantly about and tried to force Tony to live up to.

Little wonder he ended up being the total opposite.

And then to meet me live and in the flesh?

I wondered if I had lived up to the hype or utterly destroyed the fantasy that had been created by Howard.

I suspected the latter.

Usually happens when you learn the god upon the pedestal is actually human.

And while I might be enhanced, I remained a fallible human.

Who fucked up every now and then. Or more often than not.

I needed to talk to Tony.

See if we could fix this, fix us, or if we had nothing more than irreconcilable differences.

The kids didn't like it when mom and dad fought.

And breaking up the family hurt everyone involved.

But I hadn't yet found a middle ground.

_We_ hadn't yet found a middle ground.

Rinn being hurt had brought us together, but it would not keep us that way. As soon as she had been deemed better, we'd be gone and the current unhappy status quo would be maintained.

And maybe that would be for the best.


	32. Chapter 32

She came up for air three days later.

Bucky and I had done the overnight and day shifts leaving the evening to Tony. Rinn had done little more than code the entire time. We made certain she ate and connected with the real world every couple of hours, but other than that let her be. I'd seen he do this before, just never for such an extended period. So I didn't worry overmuch.

Having the evening to ourselves I decided to take the night off. We'd all been stressed to the max and needed to relax via a method we wouldn't normally use. Buck and I already sparred or worked out daily, that would be useless as a distraction. So I went with movie night.

There remained a treasure trove of movies I had never seen, same for Buck, so with the assistance of FRIDAY scored access to recent films neither of us had seen and settled in for an evening of popcorn, beer, and adventure that didn't revolve around our lives. We were scrolling through the selections when Rinn stumbled in, hair damp from a recent shower and wearing a mishmash of clothes: the sweatshirt mine and huge on her, the shorts Bucky's, though where she'd stolen them from I had no clue since he usually worked out in them, and an ancient Black Sabbath t-shirt that had to belong to Tony. I don't know how she managed to swipe so many of his shirts, but I'd seen her wear a half dozen of them in recent months.

Without a word she flopped down atop us, Bucky's hands lifting high to keep from dumping popcorn and beer all over her, as she buried her head into his stomach, and shoved her bare feet in my lap. She wrapped her arms around his waist, heaved a great sigh, then went completely boneless.

Bucky snapped his head about to meet my eyes. "Uh, I think she's done?"

I snickered and took the bowl of popcorn from him, working it into a spot between her knees and the back of the sofa where both of us could reach it. "A reasonable assumption."

I set a hand on one foot, the toes wiggling for an instant at the contact. Her feet were icy cold, so I reached over to grab the semi-decorative blanket that had been draped over the back of the sofa and tossed it across her feet and lower legs. No need to risk her actually getting sick while her body still fought to recover from far more severe injuries. I found it interesting that she had buried her face into Buck's abdomen instead of finding her own bed. An empty bed, admittedly, one where she had failed utterly at sleeping in recent days, so I guess, after all, it wasn't very surprising she had sought us out.

She could and did sleep with me nearby, but always better with Bucky. Always. Made sense, given I knew she had feelings for him, but still shocking to see in so visceral a way. Too bad Buck had no real interest in acting on those feelings. Even if he did return them in some measure. His lack of self-worth, believing he could not be worthy of _anyone_ , impacting his perception of any and every relationship. He, much like myself, wanted to keep her out of the line of fire where possible, which typically meant distancing ourselves from friends and loved ones who could be hurt just by association.

Of course, that didn't work so well when you lived with said person and they sponsored your current line of work.

It had gotten complicated.

Her feet shifted, toes poking me in the gut as if unhappy where my thoughts had roamed. I glanced over at Buck, who had set his right hand on her shoulder, fingers drawing abstracts along her upper arm. He didn't even seem to realize he was doing it, his left hand busily pressing buttons on the remote as he searched for the next movie to watch.

"What?" he grumbled, not shifting an inch though he had clearly noticed me watching him.

I shrugged, turning my attention back to the oversized TV mounted on the wall across from us. "Oooo, that one."

Buck frowned, he had stopped obediently but had missed the target by a fairly wide margin. "Less vague."

"That one." I waved at the screen with my beer, managing to not spill it mostly because there wasn't much left. "Star Trek."

Bucky shifted the options until that one had been chosen and hit the button. He read through the description brows knitting together. "You sure? It sounds like that other star one… Uh, wars. Star Wars."

I shook my head. "Apples and oranges. Of course, there's also the grapes."

"Grapes?" His look clearly stating I'd gone and fallen off the deep end.

"Stargate. Movies and multiple TV series. Wait till we get to that madness before you look at me like that. This one," I waved at the screen, "is what they call a reboot of a series that originally aired in the mid-sixties."

Buck rolled his eyes. "Steve, when did you turn into a nerd?"

I chuckled, not about to argue the point. "Just trying to keep up with the times. All my best friends are nerds so..." I shrugged.

"So you got pulled down the rabbit hole."

I nodded. "Sharon suggested this one… actually, there's three of them, to me."

"And you don't think she wanted to watch them with you?"

Urf. I hadn't thought of that. "Well, she has seen all of them, so unless she planned to record and make fun of my reactions, I don't think so?" Nope, wasn't the least bit certain, which meant I would need to do some work to make up for the unintentional gaffe if there'd even been one.

"Fair enough. Grab a couple more beers and we'll give this a go."

As I contemplated how to shift Rinn without waking her Tony barreled in, distress clearly written on his features. "Have you seen Rinn?" His eyes locked on the unconscious lump sprawled across the two of us and muttered, "Oh thank god."

Bucky and I exchanged a confused look. "Uh, wasn't she with you? In the lab?"

He nodded. "Gave her a heads up I would be working on the new HUD and when I came up for air she'd vanished. I swear it was only ten minutes tops."

" _Eleven and a half actually,"_ FRIDAY corrected.

"And you didn't have FRIDAY find her, why?" Bucky questioned, his tone mostly snark free.

Tony shot him a glare. "FRIDAY, please locate Rinn for me."

" _I am unable to see Miss Rinn at this time. Perhaps you could look for her yourself."_

"She reprogrammed FRIDAY to not see her?" That could be scary dangerous given Rinn seemed to have developed a fascination with high places and the potential damage the fall could do to her.

"Yeah. Freaked me out too. I'll have a little chat with Rinn once she has regained consciousness." He waved at the limp woman sprawled across us. Then his gaze roamed over the whole set up including the TV with the movie we'd queued up. Then he frowned, suddenly aware that she had left him behind and chosen to come to us, or more specifically Bucky, for sleep.

I knew what he must be thinking, that she had abandoned him for us, yet again. "Tony-"

He shook his head. "I'll get back to work then."

He spun about, strides quick and jerky, but Bucky's soft words stopped him cold.

"Why don't you join us."

Tony snorted in clear derision, the sneering glance over his shoulder making it clear he would not be buying any today.

Except... except Bucky seemed to be completely sincere in his offer. Surprising, yes, maybe a little given he knew Tony hated him with the fiery burning of a thousand suns, but Bucky, who in many ways been an innocent in the murder that led to Tony's hatred, he did not. Hate, that is. I didn't know if he liked Tony at all, but he held no direct animosity for the man. Bucky and Tony both victims in this case and Buck, at least, appeared to be willing to make what amends he could.

Then again he might just be making the offer because of the woman who lay upon him. Who cared about Tony as much as she cared for the two of us. Rinn had never pushed them together, understanding Tony's position quite intimately, but also aware that it could be overcome given time and the proper situation. Tony didn't really know James Barnes, only had files and stories to go by, until this situation had not been in the same room without a fight breaking out for longer than a few minutes. They'd been nothing but adversaries from the instant Buck had been forced back into the light of day.

Oh, hell. She had set him up. By making herself invisible to FRIDAY it had forced Tony to go looking and led him right here. And she knew… _knew_ Bucky wanted to make reparations to those he had hurt in the past and this would give him the opportunity to do so if only a little.

"When did you last take some time off?" I asked, getting that electric glare turned on me instead of my friend.

He shrugged. "Not a clue," he finally admitted. "Probably the last time I saw her." He waved at Rinn, the reminder that she regularly left Austria solely to visit him not lost on me. A pointed reminder that they had a relationship as well, one that predated ours.

"You doing anything that can't wait a few hours?"

"Uh, not really. I have to look over her code, but other than that..." He trailed off, shoulders sagging as he realized he had talked himself out of an excuse to leave. He sighed, glancing over at the TV. "What're you watching?"

"Something called Star Trek," Bucky answered in a cautious tone, not sure if his responses would be welcome. His fingers tightened on her shoulder for an instant, the only visible sign of his concern.

Tony brightened instantly. "The Abrams one?"

I nodded, wondering just what we had gotten ourselves into.

"I'm in. You're gonna love this, the actor playing Kirk's father looks just like Thor. Like identical." He bounced on his toes, surveyed our set up and then proclaimed, "I'll get more beer and popcorn, you start the movie." Then he rushed off to the tiny kitchen in the suite. Moments later the sound of the microwave turning kernels into something edible could be heard followed by obvious rummaging in the fridge.

I looked over at Buck, who had focused on the woman in his lap. "You sure about this?"

He nodded. "Gotta figure out how to deal with each other eventually." He ran his fingers through her hair, the short locks still not settled in my mind as part of her. "She sees something in him, in us, that she believes is worth fighting for. Least I can do is try."

"And if he shoots you?"

"Well, he does kind of deserve it," Tony stated as he returned with a bag of popcorn in one hand and a bucket full of ice and beers in the other. He set them on the coffee table with a thump. "To be honest, I'm mostly over it." He gestured at Rinn with a free hand. "Her fault, of course."

I managed a soft chuckle, Buck a broken smile.

"Thought I said to hit play?" Tony complained as he shoved the coffee table forward enough to fit on the floor, his back against the sofa, the back of his head leaning against Rinn who shifted just enough to make certain Tony would be able to sit comfortably for a while. He handed each of us a beer then popped the top of his own.

Bucky didn't argue and hit play, the lights in the room dimming to give us that full theater experience.

Rinn grumbled and shifted at the sound level, burying her face deeper into Bucky's stomach, but settled fairly quickly. Tony glanced over at her for an instant, up at Buck, then turned to stare stoically straight ahead, lips pressed into a thin line for long minutes, broken only when he sipped on the beer or tossed some popcorn into his mouth.

He managed fifteen minutes of the movie - Kirk's dad did indeed look like Thor - before the commentary began. Sadly, it wasn't about the movie.

His back went stiff and he muttered, "Why you, Barnes?"

Bucky looked like wanted to ignore the question, but Tony pressed on, twisting about to look up at the Winter Soldier. "No, seriously, what did you do to suck her in?"

"Nothing," Bucky stated eyes and tone cold as ice. "Tried to chase her away, but she's a stubborn fool."

"Fool is right," Tony grumbled, turning back to the movie, that we pretty much ignored now while he took his moment to vent his unhappiness at their relationship.

"And you... you let it happen."

Clearly aimed at me. "Let? You think I have the power to control her? SHIELD didn't have that capability, what makes you think I do?"

He muttered something under his breath, plainly not thrilled with my response no matter how accurate. "You could have told her no. To leave Barnes in cryo."

Bucky stiffened. "Why? Because that would have kept Steve off the board?"

"Yes," Tony snapped, much to my surprise.

"Tony-"

"No, damn it. Do you have any idea how much she does for you? The PR nightmare she deals with since you went all Nomad?"

Actually, I did, as she kept me up to date on happenings that she and other staff members took care of on my behalf. Had me make a couple statements via videos that she released, all of which had garnered overall positive responses, by the general populace anyway. There were still plenty who wished to see me and mine behind bars and hung out to dry for every mistake ever made by SHIELD or the Avengers.

"Why? 'Cause she's handled it better than you?"

He sucked in a shocked breath and I knew I'd hit that nail right on the head. He hadn't thought we could manage without him and his toys and his money, but we had. Rinn had stepped in, but instead of providing everything - though she did that for the moment - she had arranged for us to stand on our own two feet, between the Wakandans we trained and ex-SHIELD agents coming in out of the cold we'd be fully staffed, hell, over staffed within a few months. We were already tight on space and needed to expand and I'd begun eyeing the land on the far side of the lake and wondering if we could afford to build an actual training facility there. I intended to remain close to Rinn, protecting her and Cyko, but with our own facility, she could expand Cyko, which would need to happen soon if she wanted to push her tech to it's fullest potential.

"You think that's what this is about? Jealousy? Rogers you uptight-"

His words cut off as Rinn rolled over, her arm draping over his right shoulder, fingers digging into his shirt and possibly his chest where the arc reactor had once resided, and mumbled, "Stop it," in a grumpy tone.

Tony damn near swallowed his tongue. He sat there frozen for a long moment then tipped his head over to rest against her arm. "Sorry."

Her fingers finally relaxed and she huffed out a breath of irritation before drifting back under.

"The world needs Steve," Bucky finally said. "If Rinn hadn't gone to Wakanda he would still be there waiting."

"You saying I should thank her for getting the old man off his ass?" Tony still sounded pissed but had taken care to temper the tone given the proximity of Rinn's hand to his throat. "Not gonna happen. All it did was put her in the direct line of fire."

"I'm not certain she was ever out of it," I said, believing my own words. I seriously doubted TJ and AIM just _suddenly_ decided to go after her. SHIELD had offered her some semblance of protection until the day the Triskelion and Insight had been destroyed. Yes, she had remained friends with and worked with members of SHIELD, but even she admitted to doing it on the sly, which meant that for the last several years she would have appeared to be lacking that bulwark of government power at her back. AIM may have just waited until the time seemed right and, with the whole Inhuman situation that had developed, may have taken advantage of the shifting tides.

Where they had gotten the idea that Rinn might be something other than human, might be enhanced, I had no clue, but given the current climate taking the opportunity to grab her, examine her, and possibly duplicate her enhancements didn't seem so far-fetched.

Tony rubbed a hand across his face. "And now it's too late."

Rinn sighed softly in her sleep, Bucky running fingers along her cheek to quiet her.

I frowned, not able to disagree with him. "Then what? She's been adamant about not wanting to join SHIELD or the Avengers. She likes her life the way it is, who are we to force her to change it?"

"I don't know," Tony muttered in frustration. "I keep offering space to Cyko, but she keeps turning me down."

"You keep trying to buy her out," Bucky corrected, which synced with the impression I had gotten from discussions with Rinn about it.

"Well, yeah," Tony agreed, as if it should have been obvious. "That's what makes the most sense."

I shook my head. "She will never sell or merge. Cyko is her baby she won't let anyone but her touch it." I rubbed my hands up and down her calves, her feet twitching in response. "Now, if you had offered to lease her space in one of your buildings, at full price, she might have considered it."

"Except the US has basically made her persona non grata until she agrees to do her sims for them," Tony grumbled.

"The US will never get an exclusive contract again. She's got deals with a half-dozen countries at this point and not all for military purposes." I don't know where Bucky had learned that, but I didn't doubt it to be the truth. Her deal with the Austrian government bore that out. Then again her contract with Wakanda most certainly focused on military training, their tech some of the best on the planet.

Tony rubbed one hand across his face. "I know. I just... Fury was an idiot to let her get away."

I shrugged. "No argument from me, but her focus has always been Cyko and not saving the world. She doesn't want to switch careers no matter how good she'd be at it."

Rinn muttered something in her not quite sleep. Probably unhappy with us discussing her life choices without her input. Bucky leaned over to whisper in her ear, the Romanian too soft for me to translate, and after shifting for a moment she settled.

Tony stared at the pair, clear confusion wrinkling his brow even with her arm still draped over his shoulder. He wanted to say something, probably something derogatory, but held his tongue and turned back to the movie. "Rewind, if you would. We've missed some good bits."

Bucky looked over at me, not certain how to react, I gave him a wan smile and a nod. He lifted the remote and spun the movie back to just before Tony had interrupted.

We managed to watch all three in the series, Rinn sleeping the entire time, before Tony deemed he'd blown off work long enough. It hadn't been the most comfortable evening, but far better than I could ever have expected and it made me realize all the more how much I missed my friend.

 

~^~^~^~

 

"Boss lady, you look-"

"Like shit," Rinn interjected.

"- good. I like the haircut."

Rinn forced herself to smile. I knew she hated the short cut as it only served as a reminder of what she had gone through. A glance in a mirror showing her a stranger with the wrong hair, sunken cheeks, and tired, dull eyes. Her body seemed to be recovering well, but her mind, her sense of self still fragile and easily shattered.

"Does Steve still look like the hottest lumberjack on the planet?"

I leaned over within the range of the camera so Hattie could see me. "Yes."

Bucky snorted into his drink, quite plainly finding her description amusing. Him at the bar, ostensibly working on his tablet, while we sat at the improvised desk that had been set up for Rinn in the common room, watching over her while pretending not to. She seemed to be doing better, but I don't think any of us bought it. Mostly due to the fact we had yet to convince her to leave the building, no matter how tempting the venue. Hell, Tony had offered to get her into Hamilton even though tickets had been sold out for the next year or more.

Hattie visibly blushed, but refused to duck her head. I knew the girl had a crush of sorts on me, but, truth be told, so did most of Rinn's staff. A fair number of them in awe of the former Avengers in their midst, though it had tapered off when they'd realized their idealized version did not quite match up to the reality before them. Sam loved the attention, Wanda had made some friends among the staff of Cyko, which helped with the loneliness she'd been feeling. Being treated like a person made a huge difference for all of us.

Rinn chuckled softly and shoved me away. "He refuses to shave it off, claims it's too bloody cold this time of year."

Hattie snorted, corners of her eyes crinkling in her mirth. Then she sobered. "Our friendly neighborhood hacker keeps trying to get in. We replace the firewalls daily, rotating them to confuse the attacker, but they're damn good."

"Which servers?" Rinn rubbed her forehead with her right hand, a new habit that I didn't much care for; worried she would do actual damage and begin peeling the skin off without realizing it.

"Secondary, but I think they're hoping to use them to get to the mains."

"Rinn?" She would know what I really asked without the need of it being stated aloud.

"Yes, they can, eventually. It won't be simple or easy, but possible. Hattie, I have some virtual IEDs you can set up. That should slow them down and, if they're not paying attention, might let us track them back to their nefarious hideout."

Tony snorted at her phrasing. "I'll go one better and get you off the grid."

Rinn spun her chair about and I shifted to watch him as he rolled balls across the pool table.

"What are you saying, Tony?" Rinn asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Exactly what it sounds like. I've been meaning to do it for a while, but," he straightened, leaned back against the edge of the table, and waved a hand vaguely about, "shit happened. You will soon be the proud owner of an arc reactor. "

Rinn shook her head even as Hattie squealed in utter glee at the idea. "No, I will not let you do this, Tony."

I shot a look at Tony, warning him to tread carefully or he'd fuck this one up too.

He swallowed whatever argument had been about to burst forth, casting his gaze down to the floor for a long moment. "I said owner, Laurin. Long term lease, details to be worked out later." When her stubborn look didn't even crack he gave her a crooked smile. "Look, you'd be doing me a favor, I need to see if it's viable in a commercial setting and… and I trust you give me the down and dirty on if it's worth the cost. Plus it'll make the power expense of our other project far more manageable."

She stared at him for long minutes, trying to see the deception in his words, but I did not believe there to be any this time. "You will cash those checks," she informed him in no uncertain terms, not about to let Tony cover the cost.

"Yes, of course," he agreed instantly, though knowing him he'd put the money in some account that would ultimately roll back to her in the end. "Hosting the Avengers costs money. Now, if that's settled," he waited for her to nod in agreement before continuing, "I would like to give… make available one of my programs to you: Diogenes."

"Diogenes? The cynic philosopher?" Bucky questioned, probably sounding as confused as I looked.

Tony cocked a brow in surprise. He kept forgetting Bucky had brains behind those moody blue eyes. "Yep. Another butler program I was working on, but I got sidetracked. The basics are done, you'll be able to tweak it however you wish." He gave her a tiny smile. "Thought it might be a distraction on those nights you can't sleep."

Refused to sleep would be more accurate, but having something other than the memories of what had brought her here to focus on would be good for her. "And that'll help her how?" I questioned, not certain what a JARVIS clone would do for her and Cyko.

"Oh, the focus is defensive. There's firewalls that make the Great Wall look like a kiddie lego set."

Rinn brightened at that. "You sure about this? I'll block any back doors you've left behind."

He shook his head. "He's yours. Abuse him as you wish."

"That's great," Hattie commented, "but doesn't help right now."

"I'll have FRIDAY send some programs that should shore up your defenses for a while. We named it the Spanish Armada."

"Britain annihilated the Spanish Armada," Hattie pointed out in a droll tone.

Tony huffed in irritation. He shot a look at Rinn. "Stop hiring smartasses," he groused.

Rinn laughed. "Hattie, if it slows the tide, then we'll still be a step or two ahead. Okay?"

Hattie frowned but nodded. "Okay."

"Jeez, you act like I have no clue what I'm doing," Tony complained, almost meaning it.

Hattie didn't flinch, which I found amusing given that she currently argued with the one and only Tony Stark, pretty much the number one tech genius on the planet. "She hacks your programs all the time."

"Only 'cause I let her."

Rinn snorted. "Let me? What reality do you reside in?"

Hattie laughed. "We've managed to keep everything on track where it comes to the games, but we're still stuck on the lag with the new system."

Rinn brightened at that. "I've solved the lag issues. I'll be sending it through the Nomad servers since they seem to be more secure at the moment."

"Oh, how?" Hattie didn't doubt her boss had done the job but wanted to hear it said aloud.

"I wrote a new live tracking algorithm, it should solve all the issues and will work cross-platform."

Hattie blinked. "You wrote a new algorithm for something that's become an industry standard?"

"The standard wasn't working, so yeah, I wrote a new one. And... and I figured out what we're gonna call the eight ball."

Hattie, along with the rest of us, waited impatiently for her to get to the punch line.

"The Asylum. We're gonna do a huge build up with viral marketing leading up to E3. We'll need the center space and it's going to be an enclosed booth. Visitors will get a pair of AR glasses to wear and will be sent into the booth with no warning of what's coming. The route in will simulate scenes of them being taken into an asylum as a patient. Graphics borderline R rating. When then hit the center they'll get a three-sixty view of the words "Welcome to the Asylum" with the viewer appearing to be strapped to a bed in a padded room.

Then they'll jump straight to a boss battle scene from Garden. No walkthrough or instructions on how to use the AR/VR. They'll die or survive. It should make an impression either way."

Hattie's eyes got rounder and rounder as Rinn spoke, her jaw dropping open as she absorbed the plan and saw the implications. Hell, I thought the idea sounded incredible and I only half understood what Rinn had been referring to.

"Oh hell that sounds amazing," Tony said with a firm nod. "That'll suck them right in and they'll be talking about it for months after. Holiday release?"

Rinn turned partially to look at him. "No, mid-January."

Hattie clapped her hands in glee. "Oh, boss lady you are evil. You're gonna kill console sales over the holidays."

Rinn grinned and it had more than a hint of said evil in it. "I know. We need to start production within the next eight weeks though. We should have the bugs worked out by then."

A shuffling in the background could be heard. "Sorry, Hattie, but I need a sec."

Sam appeared on the screen as Hattie moved aside without argument. "Hey, kiddo, is Cap around?"

I shifted beside Rinn. "Here." He had his work face on. "Everything all right?"

"Major quake in Nepal."

I froze, torn between needs. Rinn not yet ready to be left alone and knowing that Nomad should be there to help in any way possible.

At my hesitation, Rinn turned her chair to face me. "Go."

"Rinn-"

"Go," she insisted. "I will be just fine."

When all I did was frown she added, "Do I need to make that an order, soldier?"

"Steve, she won't be alone."

I rotated to meet Tony's eyes, his look hard. He would not be going along even though I could see how much he wanted to.

Rinn ended any discussion on the matter. "Sam, he'll meet you there. Send the coordinates to FRIDAY."

"Yes, ma'am." Sam gave her a saucy salute and vanished from the screen

I stood and set a hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure, Rinn."

"For fuck's sake, Steve, go, you have work to do."

Tony had been busily tapping away on the tablet in his hands. "FRIDAY will have the quinjet ready by the time you get there and I'll see about getting you some backup."

Bucky had already stood and appeared to be impatiently waiting for me to get my act together. With nothing more than a nod, we rushed from the room and to the hangar.


End file.
